Discuss

Yen yen yen bla bla bla bla....



Thank you too

No balls.

MrHistorian:
No balls.

Go give am balls

Bro the only advice I can give is that you should leave the house for a while without telling her. I think she will change just give it a try and watch her change

Most women are like that.

Here's a story my uncle told me on the day of my marriage.

He said,

Once upon a time, a young man went to the village to ask his dad to look for a responsible wife for him, that he's ready to settle down. The father said no problem. After a while, the father paid him a visit in the city, bringing along a small puppy (baby dog). His father asked him to take very good care of the puppy and returned to the village the next day.

Not long after, the young man returned from work one day to see that the puppy had messed up the apartment. He re-positioned it and tidied up the place. The next day, the puppy did the same thing, the guy returned from work and was very mad. He picked up a stick and struck the puppy to death.

A few weeks later, the father paid him another visit. He noticed the puppy's absence and asked the son about it. The young man replied that he had killed the puppy. He said he could no longer cope with it. And the father replied, "My son, you've just confirmed to me that you're not ready for marriage. Women can be very annoying, they'll do worse to you than the puppy. You need a lot of patience to live with a woman, which you presently have not developed."

Ask 90% of married men, and they'll tell you what you're experiencing is not new. You can abandon this one and end up paying the bride price of someone with worse characters.

My advice: Do whatever you think is good for you.

No be first to report case dey win case, till I hear the babymama side of this sweet story. I dey the fence

Mic96:
Pls permit my grammatical errors.

I have a girl I'm living with presently she has two children for me, 6years and the second one year and six months of which I haven't paid her bride price, not because I can't afford it but I'm not convinced yet.

She wakes up without even greeting me and she is very abusive. She doesn't cook for me even if she is to cook I must go the market to buy the soup items before she will cook for the family. I have to go the market early to buy the soup items before leaving for work.

Our relationship has been up and down but I've been enduring because of the kids, I can't take it anylonger. I'm just confused and I don't know what to do because she is frustrating me. We are not into each other I can't tell her things like secret because when we have issues she will use it against me.

I love my kids so much and I don't know what I will become without my kids. The constant fighting isn't good for the kids and I'm thinking of leaving the apartment for them without taking anytime from the house expect my cloths.

I have reported her to my pastor and my pastor have serverally counsel her but she won't change always willing to fight me at no cause. I told my pastor my plan of paying her bride price maybe she will change because she is always talking of poisoning when we get heated argument. my pastor say I shouldn't that she won't change because our relationship wasn't built on solid (right) foundation.

I notice she feels she is doing me a favour for wanting to stay with me. A woman that is 3 years older then me and has two children for me and I am the person paying the bills (the whole expenses). Her own money is for her clothes, bags and shoes not minding if the house suffer but I don't care.

Pls advise me on what to do and if I'm actually making the right decision.

Thank you.

It's in your favour that you are yet to marry that woman. Your kids are your priority right now and should remain so, don't leave that house for her or your kids with her because she's likely to bring men into it. For your peace of mind and mental development of your kids, let that old hag go

The worst thing i can do is never go to a pastor for an advise.They are bad advisers.

Bla Bla Bla Bla.......... All I see is someone looking for validation.

She does not cook, doesn't greet me, she is three years older than me. I'm sure you didn't see all these when you impregnated her 7 years ago.

Okay, let's agree the first one was a one night stand gone wrong. Okay, the second was what?

And you even had to say "A girl living with me of which I haven't paid her bride price" . How disgusting. Someone needs to advice "that girl" to stop cooking for you, opening her legs for you, stop taking care of the house, you or whoever that came to visit and treat you like who you truly are, a roommate ; "Just another boy living with her"

"not convinced yet"...but u dey chuuku chuuku.

Bt dnt tell me you didn't see all these signs b4 impregnating her nd turning her to a babmama,i just feel pity for the kids you will b dragging into this.

The first paragraph of this your story really made me laugh "a girl am living with presently" ....Dude seems both of you are not compatible even after 2kids in 6years and you guys are still experiencing this kind of stuff, don't force it man!!

Bro, as much as you may not want to be honest with us, you gotta be honest to your own damn self:

A) before we go any further: tell us what is good about this woman that you would even want to marry her.

B) if this babe doesn't work, how do you expect her to cook soup (if you don't leave any money)?
Or are you saying that she doesn't want to go to the market to buy food, even when you drop money?

C) since you guys are not good together, why do you think marrying her will change anything?!

D) as much as you hate it, you must get rid of this woman from your life as you guys would be better parents (co parenting away from one another)

E) this babe had the same age difference today as the day you met her or when you fell in love with her, so don't bring this BS to the table now.

FINALLY so she has money to spend on bag clothes and shoes, yet don't want to pay for food at home?! Bro the problem is not this woman.... IT'S YOU, who allowed this nonsense to go for so long.

naijabat2001:
Bro the only advice I can give is that you should leave the house for a while without telling her. I think she will change just give it a try and watch her change

That's what the babe is hoping all along.... she will be better/happier without him.thats why she has absolutely no respect for the dude.

most of the stories on Nairaland now shows guys are now on the receiving end. .

Qestion

She uses the kids you love so much to blackmail you emotionally and that my friend has no solution.
If you have a trusted blood blood sister or mother, then you may consider an option.

GOD abeg i no want this kind tin for my life o.@op, take the kids to ur parent and desert the lady for 6mnth straight( until she comes with her family to beg and genuinely promise to change for beta)if nt, divorce her and luk before u leap again. sorry

seanwilliam:
GOD abeg i no want this kind tin for my life o.@op, take the kids to ur parent and desert the lady for 6mnth straight( until she comes with her family to beg and genuinely promise to change for beta)if nt, divorce her and luk before u leap again. sorry

Hmm

It's easy to cut ties with someone who doesn't have children with you, I really pity your situation, I really think you got to be rid of her but in a way it's not going to affect your children, if she's really saying she will poison you, she may do it, I suggest you stop living together, you stop eating foods she prepares as you never know what is coming. Part ways with her in a calm manner so because of your children, so she will not make it difficult for you to see them without living with them.

Hmm. Only God knows where u na dey jam all these kind of women. May God help you with a lasting solution.

Mic96:

To be honest is very neat and only concern about cleaning the whole house. She prefers that over preparing breaking for the family. Which the kids are left to tea and bread most morning and night after school.

Are you saying that the only good.thing about this woman (that you can think of) is the above you wrote?!

She works. Our first child wasn't planned it just came three month while we were dating and weren't leaving together then. Even after the child was born she was still leaving with her parents. 2 years ago I decided to settle down with her she refused but I begged her to consider our child that I don't want the child to grow without the parents living together. Despite the fact that we weren't together then i was fully responsible for the child up keep and schooling. I went to the mother but never really liked me while we were planning the marriage rite she took in for our second child brought them to my apartment. While then she was pregnant I never wanted her to do the house work so I ended up going to market for her to buy the food stuffs and other items needed and leaving her with monthly allowance. 

Now that she has given birth she refused going to the market again. Placing me under condition if I don't then we can settle for anything (Junk)

If i may ask:
- What excuse did she give you for refusing to move in with you?
- why didn't you allow her to do house chores?
- now that you have accustomed this woman to do nothing, why suddenly expect her to do anything?
- what was the monthly allowance for?

She often says her mother is always picking at her that I haven't paid her bride Price and that her mother advised her not to accept me but she disobeyed.

The deed has been done... if you think that her parents will suddenly love you as soon as you pay bride price then, you sir, is on a long thing. The mother has no respect for you and that is partly due to your woman and how she has little respect for you or your union.

I came up from a broken home I know what I went through never wanted my child to experience same.

Well bro, you should have thought about that before having unprotected sex wirh this stranger.

The only way peace can reign is if I allow her be without correcting and accepting all her nonsense. She always want to be incontrol and her decision stands over the kids

That woman is living AS A SINGLE WOMAN, while being taking care by a man who thinks they are in a r/ship. Get rid of her and.let her be single, while co-parenting

Wahala up and down


Assuming you are married, I would have given you a solution...but in this case, only you can sort it out.



Your sense bin travel when you dey born full house, even as the attitude no pure for you...your decision bro.

How on earth did you get yourself into this mess?

Everything is just wrong with this relationship.

seanwilliam:
GOD abeg i no want this kind tin for my life o.@op, take the kids to ur parent and desert the lady for 6mnth straight( until she comes with her family to beg and genuinely promise to change for beta)if nt, divorce her and luk before u leap again. sorry

Divorce her?
How can he divorce someone he's not married to?

Abi na how you take read your own

She is this, that, and all sorts of evil, but you did not admit to any flaws of your own or are you a perfect man?

1. Zip up your pants / stop sleeping with her and producing more children together.

2. Co-parent the two you already have.

3. You go <----- that way, while she goes this way ----->

Qest

theButterfly:
She is this, that, and all sorts of evil, but you did not admit to any flaws of your own or are you a perfect man?

1. Zip up your pants / stop sleeping with her and producing more children together.

2. Co-parent the two you already have.

3. You go <----- that way, while she goes this way ----->

For over one year now we haven't had sex and we cool with it.

Go n pay her bride price, as for me I have stopped advising foolish people.⁵

Mic96:
Pls permit my grammatical errors.

I have a girl I'm living with presently she has two children for me, 6years and the second one year and six months of which I haven't paid her bride price, not because I can't afford it but I'm not convinced yet.

She wakes up without even greeting me and she is very abusive. She doesn't cook for me even if she is to cook I must go the market to buy the soup items before she will cook for the family. I have to go the market early to buy the soup items before leaving for work.

Our relationship has been up and down but I've been enduring because of the kids, I can't take it anylonger. I'm just confused and I don't know what to do because she is frustrating me. We are not into each other I can't tell her things like secret because when we have issues she will use it against me.

I love my kids so much and I don't know what I will become without my kids. The constant fighting isn't good for the kids and I'm thinking of leaving the apartment for them without taking anytime from the house expect my cloths.

I have reported her to my pastor and my pastor have serverally counsel her but she won't change always willing to fight me at no cause. I told my pastor my plan of paying her bride price maybe she will change because she is always talking of poisoning when we get heated argument. my pastor say I shouldn't that she won't change because our relationship wasn't built on solid (right) foundation.

I notice she feels she is doing me a favour for wanting to stay with me. A woman that is 3 years older then me and has two children for me and I am the person paying the bills (the whole expenses). Her own money is for her clothes, bags and shoes not minding if the house suffer but I don't care.

Pls advise me on what to do and if I'm actually making the right decision.

Thank you.

Jombom:
Go n pay her bride price, as for me I have stopped advising foolish people.⁵

Dont mind him. Hes engaging in Bamijoko style.