Hi N’landers.

This is a new moniker for privacy reasons. Pls I would really appreciate some mature advise, well I know it won’t come without criticism or abuse either.

I’ve been in an interracial marriage for a few yrs now(actually less than 5yrs). I won’t give exact figures just to remain anonymous. It’s started as a long distance relationship which lasted for about 3-4 yrs before we finally met and got married. She’s been everything in the world to me ever since our relationship started.
She believed in me and trusted me despite the stereotype about Naija people, peoples comments and what comes up in the news daily about us.

We got married in Naija and few months after our marriage, I migrated to live with her and we’ve been living together ever since then.

But things haven’t been too rosy since we’ve gotten together, it’s always been ups and downs just like every other relationship. Our culture clashed several times.

We are a few years apart with her being on the high side even though u can’t really guess the difference. And that caused a bit of insecurities and false accusations towards me even though there was not tangible evidence against me, as I have always been faithful to her..

Then came in a little bit of jealousy when I got my first job, it escalated into financial disputes and family feud as I don’t really have the best relationship with her kids... but they have a good relationship with their father and they spend time with him always. I never get into any arguments with them or treat them badly.I just don’t have a deep connection with them because in my own word, I find them disrespectful and abit lazy. But still do the necessity for them.

After I got a job, I wanted to save up to repay my loans, to have another qualification and also to establish myself in a foreign land. But with that being said, my priority was my share of the house bills which I was paying about 50% for the 4 of us in the house as the kids are still in school.

The arguments never seems to end, from money issue, to personal issues. Even to the extent that she would call me different names. Called me scammer and all sorts even though she knew I can never scam anybody. She became really abusive and maybe toxic that I went into mild depression and anxiety as she was all I had here when I came. I wanted to end the relationship and move on but I really love her and she’s gone through a lot with me. I didn’t want to give up on her so fast because I know deep down she loves me and wanted our Marriage to work.

My conscience won’t just let me walk out, but there was no progress.... one minute we’re sweet lovers the next minute we might be yelling at each other.

She knows my pay rate but still tell people I was not honest because she doesn’t see my payslips, I felt like most of the time she’s playing the victims card.
She doesn’t support the idea of me having a side savings to pursue my careers or whatever. But she wasn’t against it 100% either

We don’t have any kid together even though we both dreamt about it but unfortunately our chances of having kids is gently fading away....but she never see it as a big deal, even though I explained what having own kids means to us in Africa.

She always tell me to leave the house at every provocation then turn around and say she didn’t mean it for me to leave. I’ve recently moved out just to be happy again, I still miss her and she’s regret her actions and been begging to come back. All the sweet memories of us still plays in my head. But I really don’t know if going back into that house is a wise decision.
She’s got a very beautiful heart but unfortunately her emotions gets hold of her most of the time.

Please people who have gone through separation or divorce, how did u handle living without someone who has been a big part of your life for so long.

She told you to move out and is now begging you? Good!

Problem here is you did not know each other before you married and the only attraction was she's foreign which blinded you to everything else. You would not have married her if she were in Nigeria with her extra age and kids!

Make a list of all that angst you and ask her to make her list too then sit down and discuss it. Seek marriage counselling together too.

I don't know how you'd sort your having children though since I don't know why you don't have any yet. Adoption? IVF?

Beverlypie:
Hi N’landers.

This is a new moniker for privacy reasons. Pls I would really appreciate some mature advise, well I know it won’t come without criticism or abuse either.

I’ve been in an interracial marriage for a few yrs now(actually less than 5yrs). I won’t give exact figures just to remain anonymous. It’s started as a long distance relationship which lasted for about 3-4 yrs before we finally met and got married. She’s been everything in the world to me ever since our relationship started.
She believed in me and trusted me despite the stereotype about Naija people, peoples comments and what comes up in the news daily about us.

We got married in Naija and few months after our marriage, I migrated to live with her and we’ve been living together ever since then.

But things haven’t been too rosy since we’ve gotten together, it’s always been ups and downs just like every other relationship. Our culture clashed several times.

We are a few years apart with her being on the high side even though u can’t really guess the difference. And that caused a bit of insecurities and false accusations towards me even though there was not tangible evidence against me, as I have always been faithful to her..

Then came in a little bit of jealousy when I got my first job, it escalated into financial disputes and family feud as I don’t really have the best relationship with her kids... but they have a good relationship with their father and they spend time with him always. I never get into any arguments with them or treat them badly.I just don’t have a deep connection with them because in my own word, I find them disrespectful and abit lazy. ButI still I do the necessity for them.

After I got a job, I wanted to save up to repay my loans, to have another qualification and also to establish myself in a foreign land. But with that being said, my priority was my share of the house bills which I was paying about 50% for the 4 of us in the house as the kids are still in school.

The arguments never seems to end, from money issue, to personal issues. Even to the extent that she would call me different names. Called me scammer and all sorts even though she knew I can never scam anybody. She became really abusive and maybe toxic that I went into mild depression and anxiety as she was all I had here when I came. I wanted to end the relationship and move on but I really love her and she’s gone through a lot with me. I didn’t want to give up on her so fast because I know deep down she loves me and wanted our Marriage to work.

My conscience won’t just let me walk out, but there was no progress.... one minute we’re sweet lovers the next minute we might be yelling at each other.

She knows my pay rate but still tell people I was not honest because she doesn’t see my payslips, I felt like most of the time she’s playing the victims card.
She doesn’t support the idea of me having a side savings to pursue my careers or whatever.

We don’t have any kid together even though we both dreamt about it but unfortunately our chances of having kids is gently fading away....but she never see it as a big deal, even though I explained what kids means in Africa.

She always tell me to leave the house at every provocation then turn around and say she didn’t mean it for me to leave. But I’ve recently moved out just to be happy again, but I still miss her and she’s regret her actions and been begging to come back. All the sweet memories of us still plays in my head. But I really don’t know if going back into that house is a wise decision.
She’s got a very beautiful heart but unfortunately her emotions gets hold of her most of the time.

Please people who have gone through separation or divorce, how did u handle living without someone who has been a big part of your life for so long.

Wow... I feel your pain.
Do you guys have a church leader or someone she can really listen to?

As an elderly lady she is more mature than you but may not be as patient as you.

Calm down and be very much ready to have alternative plans.... Not to cheat but where to stay should there be serious fights... 2020 is another year that may have more issues.

Pls be prayerful o.

Wow. When the lustre begins to go dim. I'm not good with relationships myself. I'm clumsy but permit me to comment Sir

But would suggest you both have a ' naked conversation '. That revolves around where you both are. Issues between you both. How to move towards your couple goals. Who knows what a decent heart to heart conversation can do. Wounds could heal and open room to reconciliation.


I would place my bets on love still bountiful in this relations and if she can listen to you without her guards up and you try to appease her fears and worries, buoyancy and balance could be rediscovered and love rekindled.


Rest assured, at this stage much depends on what she wants cause its obvious to see your own needs from this write up.


Allow me suggest you both change how you communicate. I.e if physical and phone have been bad ( you not getting the attention you want to communicate your needs ), try email


Send email telling her how you both started and where you both currently are.

Itemise the issues causing rift between you both listing them from one to ten. Nothing should be ignored. Communicate thoroughly about all your displeasures

Beneath the unhealthy issues you have problems with. Indicate your suggestions, what you feel like doing, adjustments you want both of you to make.


Beneath it, ask for her perspective on issues and that you expect her opinion, concerns and perspective.


From here, a less rugged path would be paved towards reconciliation or otherwise.

From what i can understand, she seems insecure. Your lack of connection with her kids only makes it worse.
She is scared you may leave her when you make enough money, and the only way she can show it is to keeps bugging you.

Well, as several persons opined earlier, you should have a heart to heart discussion. Use the book or email strategy to open up any grievances against each other.

Hmmm....toxic relationships abroad can quickly escalate into physical abuse at the least or even murder at the most. Stay where you are biko. If you miss each other so much, you should seek counselling to fix her insecurities and the other issues you have. Also, take your time to know her by dating her all over again. A word is enough for the wise o...don't rush back. Good luck.

She throws you out of the house.
She is insecure.
She is (was) jealous (when you got your first job)
She insults you, says hurtful things to you.
She accuses you falsely (calls you a scammer even when she knows you can't scam anybody).
She raised lazy and lousy kids.
She argues endlessly.
She does not want you to establish yourself in a foreign land.
You want kids, she doesn't (I mean, she already has at least 2, and not very young anymore).

Okay, so lemme ask you. Would you tolerate a quarter of these from a Nigerian woman?

Will you marry a 35 year old Nigerian woman who is not in marriage? Either as a single-mom or a divorcee?

I hope you did not change your moniker because your past here will hunt you? Are you one of the she-males that calls spinsters “evening newspapers”?

You guys (esp here on NL) are strangely amazing!

The same guys, if given the opprtunity, will lick the assssss of a white female who is “few years apart with her being on the high side” and with kids! You just imagined escaping Nigeria to live a happily-ever life of splendor “in the abroad” without putting in a decent amount of work?

3 years of dating, why were you not researching and developing yourself in employable skills in oyibo's country. Now, money to feed oyibo's kids you want to use and read book, huh? Well done sir. Mucheche

See the characteristics of a woman that you are painting a saint, because she is oyibo and oyibo no dey do wrong for una eyes

Your eye never clear sef.
Chances are you are just getting by abroad, so you are not truly independent. You also will rather chose to be oyibos “bom-boy” than being thrown back to Nigeria. The reason you are trying really hard to make your marriage work.

Don't worry, you will be fine las las.

flyca:
She throws you out of the house.
She is insecure.
She is (was) jealous (when you got your first job)
She accuses you falsely (calls you a scammer even when she knows you can't scam anybody).
She raised lazy and lousy kids.
She argues endlessly.
She does not want you to establish yourself in a foreign land.

Okay, so lemme ask you. Would you tolerate a quarter of these from a Nigerian woman?

Will you marry a 35 year old Nigerian woman who is not in marriage? Either as a single-mom or a divorcee?

I hope you did not change your moniker because your past here will hunt you? Are you one of the she-males that calls spinsters “evening newspapers”?

You guys (esp here on NL) are strangely amazing!

The same guys, if given the opprtunity, will lick the assssss of a white female who is “few years apart with her being on the high side” and with kids! See the characteristics of a woman that you are painting a saint, because she is oyibo and oyibo no dey do wrong for una eyes

Your eye never clear sef.
Chances are you are just getting by abroad, so you are not truly independent. You also will rather chose to be oyibos “bom-boy” than being thrown back to Nigeria. The reason you are trying really hard to make your marriage work.

Don't worry, you will be fine las las.

Take it easy. Please

healthserve:


Take it easy. Please

I wish I could Lol

Ask him why he chose to be anonymous.
If he shows you his other monikers here on NL, you will pity our older decent Nigerian sisters who are still praying to God for a man to call their own.

flyca:
She throws you out of the house.
She is insecure.
She is (was) jealous (when you got your first job)
She insults you, says hurtful things to you.
She accuses you falsely (calls you a scammer even when she knows you can't scam anybody).
She raised lazy and lousy kids.
She argues endlessly.
She does not want you to establish yourself in a foreign land.
You want kids, she doesn't (I mean, she already has at least 2, and not very young anymore).

Okay, so lemme ask you. Would you tolerate a quarter of these from a Nigerian woman?

Will you marry a 35 year old Nigerian woman who is not in marriage? Either as a single-mom or a divorcee?

I hope you did not change your moniker because your past here will hunt you? Are you one of the she-males that calls spinsters “evening newspapers”?

You guys (esp here on NL) are strangely amazing!

The same guys, if given the opprtunity, will lick the assssss of a white female who is “few years apart with her being on the high side” and with kids! You just imagined escaping Nigeria to live a happily-ever life of splendor “in the abroad” without putting in a decent amount of work?

3 years of dating, why were you not researching and developing yourself in employable skills in oyibo's country. Now, money to feed oyibo's kids you want to use and read book, huh? Well done sir. Mucheche

See the characteristics of a woman that you are painting a saint, because she is oyibo and oyibo no dey do wrong for una eyes

Your eye never clear sef.
Chances are you are just getting by abroad, so you are not truly independent. You also will rather chose to be oyibos “bom-boy” than being thrown back to Nigeria. The reason you are trying really hard to make your marriage work.

Don't worry, you will be fine las las.

Thank you so much flyca for this constructive criticism for my naija bro wey wan marry oyibo. No wonder he was referred to as a scammer by the white lady. You spoke my mind

flyca:


I wish I could Lol

Ask him why he chose to be anonymous.
If he shows you his other monikers here on NL, you will pity our older decent Nigerian sisters who are still praying to God for a man to call their own.

His actions doesn't determine yours. Yours is what's unsettling here.

Beverlypie:
Hi N’landers.

This is a new moniker for privacy reasons. Pls I would really appreciate some mature advise, well I know it won’t come without criticism or abuse either.

.

Please people who have gone through separation or divorce, how did u handle living without someone who has been a big part of your life for so long.

I keep saying it that 'love' is not a guarantee for a happy marriage. You people that do inter-racial marriage, una dey try. I can't even cope with inter-tribal.

It appears as if your marriage is not working, because of huge personality issues. I'll be realistic here, don't go back.

Most whites that marry black often take advantage of them in the long run. You can never acheive your purpose as a Nigerian if you continue in that marriage. Don't let yourself get dragged into all the drama.

Finally, the best way to get over someone is to replace them.

flyca:
She throws you out of the house.
She is insecure.
She is (was) jealous (when you got your first job)
She insults you, says hurtful things to you.
She accuses you falsely (calls you a scammer even when she knows you can't scam anybody).
She raised lazy and lousy kids.
She argues endlessly.
She does not want you to establish yourself in a foreign land.
You want kids, she doesn't (I mean, she already has at least 2, and not very young anymore).

Okay, so lemme ask you. Would you tolerate a quarter of these from a Nigerian woman?

Will you marry a 35 year old Nigerian woman who is not in marriage? Either as a single-mom or a divorcee?

I hope you did not change your moniker because your past here will hunt you? Are you one of the she-males that calls spinsters “evening newspapers”?

You guys (esp here on NL) are strangely amazing!

The same guys, if given the opprtunity, will lick the assssss of a white female who is “few years apart with her being on the high side” and with kids! You just imagined escaping Nigeria to live a happily-ever life of splendor “in the abroad” without putting in a decent amount of work?

3 years of dating, why were you not researching and developing yourself in employable skills in oyibo's country. Now, money to feed oyibo's kids you want to use and read book, huh? Well done sir. Mucheche

See the characteristics of a woman that you are painting a saint, because she is oyibo and oyibo no dey do wrong for una eyes

Your eye never clear sef.
Chances are you are just getting by abroad, so you are not truly independent. You also will rather chose to be oyibos “bom-boy” than being thrown back to Nigeria. The reason you are trying really hard to make your marriage work.

Don't worry, you will be fine las las.

Are you not being a bit one-sided in your judgement?

Remember the value this woman has added to his life (passport). If he goes out of his way to tolerate some excesses, he's not wrong. Even Nigerian women who are bread winners also act out

Also, her insecurities is clearly as a result of stereotypes which is not unfounded.

UjuJoan2:


Are you not being a bit one-sided in your judgement?

Remember the value this woman has added to his life (passport). If he goes out of his way to tolerate some excesses, he's not wrong. Even Nigerian women who are bread winners also act out

Also, her insecurities is clearly as a result of stereotypes which is not unfounded.

She saved (or is saving) his life therefore he should not complain. He should hold on to this life support for longer. Why is he opting for a divorce? Bro should chose a struggle.

@OP

In case you're in the US and reside in one of the states of New England, send me a PM.

Nigerian women are gold diggers, white women? Oh they're angels! Buhahhahahhaaaaaaa #TEAMFOREIGNGIRLS.


OP are you sure she's really white or an albino from IMO state? You know white women are true lovers they don't care about money and they are submissive. Check very well.

Seriously? So he wouldn't have gotten the "passport" if he worked hard on his own?

How many bread winning Nigerian woman drives her husband from the house? Heck OP said he contributes 50%, how many Nigerian men will tolerate all he has written from a Nigerian woman? Spending money on another man's kids while his mummy is not interested in giving him his own kids.


A Nigerian woman refusing to have a child with her husband? No Nigerian man will take such from his Nigerian wife.

UjuJoan2:


Are you not being a bit one-sided in your judgement?

Remember the value this woman has added to his life (passport). If he goes out of his way to tolerate some excesses, he's not wrong. Even Nigerian women who are bread winners also act out

Also, her insecurities is clearly as a result of stereotypes which is not unfounded.

Mstick:
Seriously? So he wouldn't have gotten the "passport" if he worked hard on his own?

How many bread winning Nigerian woman drives her husband from the house? Heck OP said he contributes 50%, how many Nigerian men will tolerate all he has written from a Nigerian woman? Spending money on another man's kids while his mummy is not interested in giving him his own kids.


A Nigerian woman refusing to have a child with her husband? No Nigerian man will take such from his Nigerian wife.

But he didn't 'work hard on his own'. He chose the easier way out, and there are consequences.

#Teamforeigngirls...

OP, please walk far away from that woman and focus on your future. Go and file divorce papers ASAP and start looking for someone else who will give you your hearts desire, kids. You seem like a nice and kind person. She has fully taken advantage of you. Right now she throws you out of the house, next time she will call police for you and they will jail and or deport you.

Beverlypie:
Hi N’landers.

This is a new moniker for privacy reasons. Pls I would really appreciate some mature advise, well I know it won’t come without criticism or abuse either.

I’ve been in an interracial marriage for a few yrs now(actually less than 5yrs). I won’t give exact figures just to remain anonymous. It’s started as a long distance relationship which lasted for about 3-4 yrs before we finally met and got married. She’s been everything in the world to me ever since our relationship started.
She believed in me and trusted me despite the stereotype about Naija people, peoples comments and what comes up in the news daily about us.

We got married in Naija and few months after our marriage, I migrated to live with her and we’ve been living together ever since then.

But things haven’t been too rosy since we’ve gotten together, it’s always been ups and downs just like every other relationship. Our culture clashed several times.

We are a few years apart with her being on the high side even though u can’t really guess the difference. And that caused a bit of insecurities and false accusations towards me even though there was not tangible evidence against me, as I have always been faithful to her..

Then came in a little bit of jealousy when I got my first job, it escalated into financial disputes and family feud as I don’t really have the best relationship with her kids... but they have a good relationship with their father and they spend time with him always. I never get into any arguments with them or treat them badly.I just don’t have a deep connection with them because in my own word, I find them disrespectful and abit lazy. But still do the necessity for them.

After I got a job, I wanted to save up to repay my loans, to have another qualification and also to establish myself in a foreign land. But with that being said, my priority was my share of the house bills which I was paying about 50% for the 4 of us in the house as the kids are still in school.

The arguments never seems to end, from money issue, to personal issues. Even to the extent that she would call me different names. Called me scammer and all sorts even though she knew I can never scam anybody. She became really abusive and maybe toxic that I went into mild depression and anxiety as she was all I had here when I came. I wanted to end the relationship and move on but I really love her and she’s gone through a lot with me. I didn’t want to give up on her so fast because I know deep down she loves me and wanted our Marriage to work.

My conscience won’t just let me walk out, but there was no progress.... one minute we’re sweet lovers the next minute we might be yelling at each other.

She knows my pay rate but still tell people I was not honest because she doesn’t see my payslips, I felt like most of the time she’s playing the victims card.
She doesn’t support the idea of me having a side savings to pursue my careers or whatever. But she wasn’t against it 100% either

We don’t have any kid together even though we both dreamt about it but unfortunately our chances of having kids is gently fading away....but she never see it as a big deal, even though I explained what having own kids means to us in Africa.

She always tell me to leave the house at every provocation then turn around and say she didn’t mean it for me to leave. I’ve recently moved out just to be happy again, I still miss her and she’s regret her actions and been begging to come back. All the sweet memories of us still plays in my head. But I really don’t know if going back into that house is a wise decision.
She’s got a very beautiful heart but unfortunately her emotions gets hold of her most of the time.

Please people who have gone through separation or divorce, how did u handle living without someone who has been a big part of your life for so long.

I feel for you bro. What if this woman is using you to spite her (ex)husband? I guess he's still banging her even though you are her second. If I were in your shoes, I would talk to a lawyer and explore the possibility of having a new wife, weigh my options and make a decision.

Some women can be strong willed and as she has told you she doesn't want any more children, that's the way it would be. Go out there and make yourself happy.

.

UjuJoan2:


Are you not being a bit one-sided in your judgement?

Remember the value this woman has added to his life (passport). If he goes out of his way to tolerate some excesses, he's not wrong . Even Nigerian women who are bread winners also act out

Also, her insecurities is clearly as a result of stereotypes which is not unfounded.

OP, dem say the passport she added to your life has canceled all wrong doing.

sisisioge:
Hmmm....toxic relationships abroad can quickly escalate into physical abuse at the least or even murder at the most. Stay where you are biko. If you miss each other so much, you should seek counselling to fix her insecurities and the other issues you have. Also, take your time to know her by dating her all over again. A word is enough for the wise o...don't rush back. Good luck.

u on point.... Thanks

flyca:
She throws you out of the house.
She is insecure.
She is (was) jealous (when you got your first job)
She insults you, says hurtful things to you.
She accuses you falsely (calls you a scammer even when she knows you can't scam anybody).
She raised lazy and lousy kids.
She argues endlessly.
She does not want you to establish yourself in a foreign land.
You want kids, she doesn't (I mean, she already has at least 2, and not very young anymore).

Okay, so lemme ask you. Would you tolerate a quarter of these from a Nigerian woman?

Will you marry a 35 year old Nigerian woman who is not in marriage? Either as a single-mom or a divorcee?

I hope you did not change your moniker because your past here will hunt you? Are you one of the she-males that calls spinsters “evening newspapers”?

You guys (esp here on NL) are strangely amazing!

The same guys, if given the opprtunity, will lick the assssss of a white female who is “few years apart with her being on the high side” and with kids! You just imagined escaping Nigeria to live a happily-ever life of splendor “in the abroad” without putting in a decent amount of work?

3 years of dating, why were you not researching and developing yourself in employable skills in oyibo's country. Now, money to feed oyibo's kids you want to use and read book, huh? Well done sir. Mucheche

See the characteristics of a woman that you are painting a saint, because she is oyibo and oyibo no dey do wrong for una eyes

Your eye never clear sef.
Chances are you are just getting by abroad, so you are not truly independent. You also will rather chose to be oyibos “bom-boy” than being thrown back to Nigeria. The reason you are trying really hard to make your marriage work.

Don't worry, you will be fine las las.

thanks for your comment, but most of your assumptions were wrong. I'm well educated, well established here, decent job with a global company and a permanent resident of the country we live in. If u know my real moniker here on naira land, u won't say 1% of what u said ....lol....

But thanks for being YOU .

LordKO:
@OP

In case you're in the US and reside in one of the states of New England, send me a PM.

sorry I'm not.....thanks for your concern

@OP. Did you get the PR through the marriage?

Mstick:
Seriously? So he wouldn't have gotten the "passport" if he worked hard on his own?

How many bread winning Nigerian woman drives her husband from the house? Heck OP said he contributes 50%, how many Nigerian men will tolerate all he has written from a Nigerian woman? Spending money on another man's kids while his mummy is not interested in giving him his own kids.


A Nigerian woman refusing to have a child with her husband? No Nigerian man will take such from his Nigerian wife.

To get it straight, she's not refusing to have kid and she prays and cry to God on that daily, she just want it naturally as she doesn't really believe in advance science......

theButterfly:
Did you get the PR through the marriage?

Yeap and sometimes wish I haven't so I can find my way.

Beverlypie:
thanks for your comment, but most of your assumptions were wrong. I'm well educated, well established here, decent job with a global company and a permanent resident of the country we live in. If u know my real moniker here on naira land, u won't say 1% of what u said ....lol....

But thanks for being YOU .

No problem bro. Enjoy your oyinbo wife.
#teamforeigngirls

Op I hope the blue passport was worth it o . Gerrard59 this one is what sef?

flyca:
She throws you out of the house.
She is insecure.
She is (was) jealous (when you got your first job)
She insults you, says hurtful things to you.
She accuses you falsely (calls you a scammer even when she knows you can't scam anybody).
She raised lazy and lousy kids.
She argues endlessly.
She does not want you to establish yourself in a foreign land.
You want kids, she doesn't (I mean, she already has at least 2, and not very young anymore).

Okay, so lemme ask you. Would you tolerate a quarter of these from a Nigerian woman?

Will you marry a 35 year old Nigerian woman who is not in marriage? Either as a single-mom or a divorcee?

I hope you did not change your moniker because your past here will hunt you? Are you one of the she-males that calls spinsters “evening newspapers”?

You guys (esp here on NL) are strangely amazing!

The same guys, if given the opprtunity, will lick the assssss of a white female who is “few years apart with her being on the high side” and with kids! You just imagined escaping Nigeria to live a happily-ever life of splendor “in the abroad” without putting in a decent amount of work?

3 years of dating, why were you not researching and developing yourself in employable skills in oyibo's country. Now, money to feed oyibo's kids you want to use and read book, huh? Well done sir. Mucheche

See the characteristics of a woman that you are painting a saint, because she is oyibo and oyibo no dey do wrong for una eyes

Your eye never clear sef.
Chances are you are just getting by abroad, so you are not truly independent. You also will rather chose to be oyibos “bom-boy” than being thrown back to Nigeria. The reason you are trying really hard to make your marriage work.

Don't worry, you will be fine las las.

I like how you went in hard on him. Ignore other people criticizing your post. Males on this site would have done same if a female started a thread like this.