Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by Nobody: 2:48am On Oct 13, 2019 |
so many people will defend fatoyibo online, but NONE of them will leave their daughters around him. thats a start. whatever else, people are aware that the man is a predator with power and connections. at the very least some other girls have been saved from potential rape 11 Likes |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by Nobody: 2:49am On Oct 13, 2019 |
ornicus:
why do you think the family of ojs simpsons wife went after him in a civil suit after he was acquitted? you think going to prison is the only means of seeking justice?
you also forget that the US has a statute of limitations on rape. 14 years if i recall.
if pastor fatoyinbo was sacked and forced to dole out his entire earnings and live at a significantly reduced standard for the rest of his life, is that not justice?
you think civil suits are all about financial gratification of the victim? why do you think there is the word punitive damages? so you can hit the man where it hurts - in his wallet.
how many rape victims do you know? how many cases are you actually aware of? outside of this coza case, how many rape cases are the public space?
also, that is life. if you become rich and famous, your sins from the past will come after you. oj simpson is a different case, that is murder, not rape in respect to fatoyinbo case, it might be justice for the people but basically doesnt necessarily heal the victim, if civil suits isnt about financial gratification, why asking for financial gain, why not ask for the man to spend a long time in jail.... money finishes but the pain doesnt. so basically, the past sins of only the rich should come after them, that doesnt sound like a witch hunt or a strategy to extort rich people, so poor people are exempted from their past sins? 1 Like |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by lilmax(m): 2:54am On Oct 13, 2019 |
And this post was written by a lawyer? |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by Nobody: 3:07am On Oct 13, 2019 |
lilwetdick:
oj simpson is a different case, that is murder, not rape
in respect to fatoyinbo case, it might be justice for the people but basically doesnt necessarily heal the victim, if civil suits isnt about financial gratification, why asking for financial gain, why not ask for the man to spend a long time in jail.... money finishes but the pain doesnt. NOTHING will ever heal any victim of a crime. justice of any sort is only a band aid. does sending murderers to jail unmurder the victims? does convicting rapists undo the trauma? if i beat you up, break your arms and legs and am sent to jail, will that unheal you? will it take away your medical bills? will it make up for your lost work time? so basically, the past sins of only the rich should come after them, that doesnt sound like a witch hunt or a strategy to extort rich people, so poor people are exempted from their past sins? actually, there are plenty of average citizens in the news who have gotten into trouble for rape. your rich person however has resources and influence he can use to evade immediate justice. it is not so much a case as extortion of the rich, but more a case of justice delayed. if fatoyinbo was just some boy in the neighbourhood when the rape occured, he would probably have been arrested or dealt with immediately . we see it in the news all the time. it is hard for efcc to nail politicians with armies of lawyers who know all the clauses, statue, etc, but it is easy for them to immediately nail yahoo boys. also, why do you cynically think collection is solely about financial gain of the victim? you think i cannot sue a person, collect and use the money to setup a rape crisis center? you think every civil lawsuit is solely about personal financial gratification? 5 Likes |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by yincah38: 3:50am On Oct 13, 2019 |
safarigirl: Due to the overwhelming ignorance that has sadly inundated Nairaland since Busola Dakolo's interview broke out, I would like to address the most popular Mind-numbing questions that have been generated from this event once and for all.
I will address them one by one, and hope that my answers can free some of you from this disturbing stand you have taken on rape. I know many of you think this is the internet and there are no consequences, but one day, you will apply for an international visa, and they will check your internet history and discover you are a rape apologist and that will be the end of your dreams of being Mungo Park.
So, here goes.
1. WHY NOW?
Why now? Why not now? If not now, when?
How would you feel, if someone raped you and went about his daily life with pomp and pageantry? Have you ever been offended by someone? Has someone evee cheated you of something and gotten glory afterwards? How does that make you feel? Are you happy? Are you indifferent? Doesn't the sight of the person burn your soul?
Let me explain how rape works. Rape is not just a violent act against the body, it is an act against the mind as well. About 90% of rape victims are usually threatened with harm if they speak, some are cajoled into thinking their rape was normal. They cannot speak for fear of not being believed. How do you tell your parents that your uncle raped you? Who will believe you if you accuse the most jovial person in the neighborhood of rape? What will become of you if you tell someone that you were raped by the most dangerous person in the neighborhood? What if your parents' livelihood is at stake?
There is no stipulated time for anyone to confess their truth. So many may have confessed earlier on, but were told to shut up. I know rape victims that confided in their parents and were scolded for even talking such 'nonsense'. If your own family cannot believe you, who will you talk to?
All a victim needs is someone to believe them. Someone to stand by them, that feeling is all you need to speak your truth. Bishop's hand was held by her husband and she has spoken her truth, what the rest of the world has to say is irrelevant (YES, YOU are irrelevant), the most important person in her life right now is supportive and that is all that matters.
Why Now? Now, because someone has said I BELIEVE YOU, I SUPPORT YOU. So, whenever a victim's NOW occurs, is the right time.
2. WOULD SHE HAVE SPOKEN UP IF HE WASN'T RICH AND INFLUENTIAL?
Would the matter have been this serious if SHE wasn't rich and influential? Is Mrs. Dakolo the first person to accuse Fatoyinbo? How far did the last accusations go? How many protests did it lead to? How many people confessed to have been rape victims? Would it have risen to the level of a national discourse if she wasn't this rich and influential? Would you have taken it seriously if it wasn't Busola Dakolo?
When it was Ese, how many believed her? What was the support like? People accused her of being an olosho, homebreaker and all sorts. Today, it is a married woman with an influential husband, she has no risen to break pastor's home. What are you going to say? It is because of his position.
YES, his position is relevant. It is people in HIS position that are the most culpable in rape. Pastors, Imams, Uncles, Aunties, Cousins, Fathers, Mothers, Sisters. His Position influenced his act. People TRUST him, who would believe someone like HIM will rape anyone? Who will believe a Man Of God will rape anyone? WHO WILL BELIEVE?
Every rapist is INFLUENTIAL in their own right. Just because you don't know them, does not mean someone doesn't. They are known to families and neighbors. Someone looks at them with respect, every rapist is a celebrity in their own right. Their victims are witnesses to their adoration, their victims listen to the words of adulation showered upon them by those who do not know better. Every RAPIST os hiding under a CLOAK of INFLUENCE. You cannot talk, because nobody will believe that such an UPSTANDING member of society could do such a HEINOUS act.
It is good that a MOG is on the hot seat. This is a MESSAGE of Empowerment to victims, that NOBODY is ABOVE public PERSECUTION. If Fatoyinbo can be questioned, so can that uncle that is nice to everyone, so can the neughborhood philantropist, if Fatoyinbo can be harassed, then that sweet aunty can also be harassed, the landlord/caretaker can be harassed, your tormentor can be harasssed. There are no sacred cows.
3. MEN HAVE BEEN FALSELY ACCUSED OF RECENT, HOW ARE WE SURE THIS ISN'T THE SAME?
Is it today Fatoyinbo has been accused? Is Busola the first one to accuse him? Since she spoke up, have more women not come to point fingers at him? Is he the only Pastor in Nigeria? Why always him? Why not Adefarasin, Oyakhilome or Suleiman? Is he the most successful? When Suleiman was faced with his own trials, was he, at any point accused of rape? Was Oyakhilome ever acccused of rape, even when he was accused of adultery?
How many men have been falsely accused by MULTIPLE women?
Fatoyinbo can best be likened to people like Bill Cosby and R-Kelly, not Neymar and C. Ronaldo.
One woman is vendetta, two women is a conspiracy, three women is a pattern, more than three women, is a perpetrator.
4. WHY CAN'T THEY PROTEST CORRUPTION?
Banky W, Rugged Man, Seun Kuti, Falz, Simi, ElDee
These are a few celebrities that have at one point or the other, protested against the Government and the System. What about you? Have you ever protested?
Let me tell you, Rape is Corruption, it is a corruption of a mind and body. It is a virus that lives within the rapist and is spread to the victim. When you tell a victim to shut up, you enable corruption. You are telling the world that a rapist should not be held accountable for his crimes, just like supporters of the corruption in government, are telling us those thieves should not be held accountable for theirs
The ACTIVE DEFENSE of ANY Crime, be it against the state or against HUMANITY is CORRUPTION. When you speak for an ALLEGED Rapist, you SUPPORT corruption. "She enjoyed it" is the same thing as "If na you, you sef go steal pass am". "Why didn't she talk since?" Is the same thing as "Enemy of progress, why will you report a theft in the office?"
Rape is a scourge to society just as looting is. The victim will grow up to become a part of the society, thw victim will not heal, the victim will carry a grudge and INNOCENT people will suffer for it. Some victims grow up to be molesters, and create more victims. You are creating a spciety of victims. Rape is as much a threat to a FUNCTIONAL society as corruption is. The society is made by PEOPLE, a society CANNOT function properly if the PEOPLE in it, are PSYCHOLOGICALLY messed up.
The same way that a person steals money and it is covered up, that is how people steal innocence and cover it up. These two acts BREED corruption and both acts mess up the society.
Theft and Rape are TWO sides of a DAMAGED COIN. They are not EXCLUSIVE. When you condemn one and make excuses for the other, you DEFEND corruption.
5. TAKE IT TO COURT, NOT SOCIAL MEDIA
This is cute, considering most of you accusing politicians of corruption have never even approached the Code Of Conduct Bureau to lay a complaint, even less approached an actually court of law.
Has Ganduje been convicted by a court of corruption? There is a video of him collecting money, and so? Is it not just an allegation? What do you know the money is for?
Before most cases go to formal court, they must pass through the court of public opinion first. This court of public opinion is particularly useful where the rich and influential are concerned, because without it, the right authorities may not be moved to act. In every country in the world, court of public opinion is incredibly important, that is why PR firms EXIST, because public opinion is easily the most influential thing in today's society.
Public opinion matters because whatever decisions the courts reach, will affect the public directly or indirectly. So, while plans are in motion to institute this case in court, believe that the court of public opinion will have their say.
6. WHY IS THE CHURCH UNDER ATTACK?
This one is ridiculous.
Really? Is Fatoyinbo the church? Os he not just an individual? I did not know an individual can now be substitutued with a body as VAST as the church?
This argument is particularly interesting because a while ago, the Catholic church was inundated with protests concerning molestation of boys by priests. I did not see anyone talkinf about an attack on the church. Rather, a lot of 'Christians' were attacking and gloating at the Catholic church. What is with the double standards though?
How come I didn't see this energy then? Oh yeah! Only these New Generation churches make up the body of Christ these days, and one pastor can now be substituted for the entire church of Christ.
It is only the incredibly dense that use this line. One person cannot be "the church". Fatoyinbo is just a man, like you and me, whose 'anointing' is in question. Fatoyinbo cannot and can never be 'the church', Fatoyinbo is not even COZA church.
The church has been in existence long before anyone alive was, the church has outlived millions of people. The church has outlived years of persecution, the church has lived through divisions and break ups, the church survived scandals involving mass murder and genocide. It is not something as fickle aas Fatoyinbo's restless privates that will destroy the church.
The church is under threat, because the followers of Christ are PROTECTING the evil that lives AMONG them. The church is not being threatened from outside, it is being threatened from WITHIN. When the body of Christ is seen to support evil, they cause believers to live in doubt. God is not a God of evil, Christ would never support rapists and murderers.
The church may be under attack, but the evil elements inside are the people attacking the church from the inside.
Having answered these questions, I will not be answering any other question. Those who will be rapists, will continue to defend their ilk. I am glad that this saga has led many to talk about their experiences and given them the opportunity to heal. Whether Fatoyinbo is eventually charged and convicted of rape is not as important, because the most important goal has been achieved; many rapists have been exposed across the country, many victims have been given the much needed outlet and many will get the chance to finally heal. If that is all that is achieved, it will be for the greater good of the society. At times you dnt find closure , you just have to move on When i was 7yrs i was sexually molested by a lady (our neighborhood daughter) she was around 16yrs back then kept on for lyk a 2yrs. We later move to lagos cos of my dad's job everything was normal till we had this house girl she was close to 23yrs then and i was just 13yrs . She started flirting with me and we started having sex for like months before she left... Am in my 30s presently , i have a wife and a child . i just have to move on with life what type of closure will i be looking for ? I dnt even know where this people are cant even remember the name of our neighbors daughter . Parents should be more closer to there children be friends with them. 2 Likes |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by Nobody: 3:52am On Oct 13, 2019 |
ornicus:
NOTHING will ever heal any victim of a crime. justice of any sort is only a band aid. does sending murderers to jail unmurder the victims? does convicting rapists undo the trauma? if i beat you up, break your arms and legs and am sent to jail, will that unheal you? will it take away your medical bills? will it make up for your lost work time?
actually, there are plenty of average citizens in the news who have gotten into trouble for rape. your rich person however has resources and influence he can use to evade immediate justice. it is not so much a case as extortion of the rich, but more a case of justice delayed. if fatoyinbo was just some boy in the neighbourhood when the rape occured, he would probably have been arrested or dealt with immediately .
we see it in the news all the time. it is hard for efcc to nail politicians with armies of lawyers who know all the clauses, statue, etc, but it is easy for them to immediately nail yahoo boys.
also, why do you cynically think collection is solely about financial gain of the victim? you think i cannot sue a person, collect and use the money to setup a rape crisis center? you think every civil lawsuit is solely about personal financial gratification? most victims of crime get a satisfaction and relief that their perpetrators are in prison, for them, it is a sign of relief, most real victim of rape or any brutal crime will not want anything to do with the perpetrator and also wont even want the perpetrator money because they know that no financial gain can heal their pain. but how many rape crisis centers have been set up by those who got financial rewards from their perpetrators? i believe 90% of civil lawsuit are all about financial gratification, some are pure extortion, civil lawsuits isnt only about rape also let it be known that there are many cases of women accusing famous men of rape for the financial gains even though some of them might have had consexual relationship with the men. |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by capitalzero: 3:59am On Oct 13, 2019 |
lilwetdick:
so a lawyer will just apply statute-barred for a man like fatonyinbo to save legal expenses are you serious, dont you know that filing statute barred is like admitting that an event occurred but the court of law shouldnt take it up because the victim didnt file the case within a certain period.
the lawyer is filing that because there are evidence and witness You are arguing with a potential rapist |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by NiCurious: 4:00am On Oct 13, 2019 |
"Due to the overwhelming ignorance that has sadly inundated Nairaland since Busola Dakolo's interview broke out, I would like to address the most popular Mind-numbing questions that have been generated from this event once and for all... [1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6...]"
THANK YOU. SIX GOLD STARS TO YOU, SAFARIGIRL. 2 Likes |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by capitalzero: 4:06am On Oct 13, 2019 |
yincah38:
At times you dnt find closure , you just have to move on When i was 7yrs i was sexually molested by a lady (our neighborhood daughter) she was around 16yrs back then kept on for lyk a 2yrs. We later move to lagos cos of my dad's job everything was normal till we had this house girl she was close to 23yrs then and i was just 13yrs . She started flirting with me and we started having sex for like months before she left... Am in my 30s presently , i have a wife and a child . i just have to move on with life what type of closure will i be looking for ? I dnt even know where this people are cant even remember the name of our neighbors daughter . Fatoyibo surly had sex with Busola no doubt but was it Rape ?? NOOOO .. There is difference between Rape and having sex with a minor having sex with a minor is rape. It is called statutory rape. There are different type of rape 4 Likes |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by Labadams: 4:07am On Oct 13, 2019 |
[color=#006600][/color] ![shocked](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/shocked.gif) [/quote]abegi[sub][/sub][quote author=safarigirl post=79806053] Due to the overwhelming ignorance that has sadly inundated Nairaland since Busola Dakolo's interview broke out, I would like to address the most popular Mind-numbing questions that have been generated from this event once and for all.
I will address them one by one, and hope that my answers can free some of you from this disturbing stand you have taken on rape. I know many of you think this is the internet and there are no consequences, but one day, you will apply for an international visa, and they will check your internet history and discover you are a rape apologist and that will be the end of your dreams of being Mungo Park.
So, here goes.
1. WHY NOW?
Why now? Why not now? If not now, when?
How would you feel, if someone raped you and went about his daily life with pomp and pageantry? Have you ever been offended by someone? Has someone evee cheated you of something and gotten glory afterwards? How does that make you feel? Are you happy? Are you indifferent? Doesn't the sight of the person burn your soul?
Let me explain how rape works. Rape is not just a violent act against the body, it is an act against the mind as well. About 90% of rape victims are usually threatened with harm if they speak, some are cajoled into thinking their rape was normal. They cannot speak for fear of not being believed. How do you tell your parents that your uncle raped you? Who will believe you if you accuse the most jovial person in the neighborhood of rape? What will become of you if you tell someone that you were raped by the most dangerous person in the neighborhood? What if your parents' livelihood is at stake?
There is no stipulated time for anyone to confess their truth. So many may have confessed earlier on, but were told to shut up. I know rape victims that confided in their parents and were scolded for even talking such 'nonsense'. If your own family cannot believe you, who will you talk to?
All a victim needs is someone to believe them. Someone to stand by them, that feeling is all you need to speak your truth. Bishop's hand was held by her husband and she has spoken her truth, what the rest of the world has to say is irrelevant (YES, YOU are irrelevant), the most important person in her life right now is supportive and that is all that matters.
Why Now? Now, because someone has said I BELIEVE YOU, I SUPPORT YOU. So, whenever a victim's NOW occurs, is the right time.
2. WOULD SHE HAVE SPOKEN UP IF HE WASN'T RICH AND INFLUENTIAL?
Would the matter have been this serious if SHE wasn't rich and influential? Is Mrs. Dakolo the first person to accuse Fatoyinbo? How far did the last accusations go? How many protests did it lead to? How many people confessed to have been rape victims? Would it have risen to the level of a national discourse if she wasn't this rich and influential? Would you have taken it seriously if it wasn't Busola Dakolo?
When it was Ese, how many believed her? What was the support like? People accused her of being an olosho, homebreaker and all sorts. Today, it is a married woman with an influential husband, she has no risen to break pastor's home. What are you going to say? It is because of his position.
YES, his position is relevant. It is people in HIS position that are the most culpable in rape. Pastors, Imams, Uncles, Aunties, Cousins, Fathers, Mothers, Sisters. His Position influenced his act. People TRUST him, who would believe someone like HIM will rape anyone? Who will believe a Man Of God will rape anyone? WHO WILL BELIEVE?
Every rapist is INFLUENTIAL in their own right. Just because you don't know them, does not mean someone doesn't. They are known to families and neighbors. Someone looks at them with respect, every rapist is a celebrity in their own right. Their victims are witnesses to their adoration, their victims listen to the words of adulation showered upon them by those who do not know better. Every RAPIST os hiding under a CLOAK of INFLUENCE. You cannot talk, because nobody will believe that such an UPSTANDING member of society could do such a HEINOUS act.
It is good that a MOG is on the hot seat. This is a MESSAGE of Empowerment to victims, that NOBODY is ABOVE public PERSECUTION. If Fatoyinbo can be questioned, so can that uncle that is nice to everyone, so can the neughborhood philantropist, if Fatoyinbo can be harassed, then that sweet aunty can also be harassed, the landlord/caretaker can be harassed, your tormentor can be harasssed. There are no sacred cows.
3. MEN HAVE BEEN FALSELY ACCUSED OF RECENT, HOW ARE WE SURE THIS ISN'T THE SAME?
Is it today Fatoyinbo has been accused? Is Busola the first one to accuse him? Since she spoke up, have more women not come to point fingers at him? Is he the only Pastor in Nigeria? Why always him? Why not Adefarasin, Oyakhilome or Suleiman? Is he the most successful? When Suleiman was faced with his own trials, was he, at any point accused of rape? Was Oyakhilome ever acccused of rape, even when he was accused of adultery?
How many men have been falsely accused by MULTIPLE women?
Fatoyinbo can best be likened to people like Bill Cosby and R-Kelly, not Neymar and C. Ronaldo.
One woman is vendetta, two women is a conspiracy, three women is a pattern, more than three women, is a perpetrator.
4. WHY CAN'T THEY PROTEST CORRUPTION?
Banky W, Rugged Man, Seun Kuti, Falz, Simi, ElDee
These are a few celebrities that have at one point or the other, protested against the Government and the System. What about you? Have you ever protested?
Let me tell you, Rape is Corruption, it is a corruption of a mind and body. It is a virus that lives within the rapist and is spread to the victim. When you tell a victim to shut up, you enable corruption. You are telling the world that a rapist should not be held accountable for his crimes, just like supporters of the corruption in government, are telling us those thieves should not be held accountable for theirs
The ACTIVE DEFENSE of ANY Crime, be it against the state or against HUMANITY is CORRUPTION. When you speak for an ALLEGED Rapist, you SUPPORT corruption. "She enjoyed it" is the same thing as "If na you, you sef go steal pass am". "Why didn't she talk since?" Is the same thing as "Enemy of progress, why will you report a theft in the office?"
Rape is a scourge to society just as looting is. The victim will grow up to become a part of the society, thw victim will not heal, the victim will carry a grudge and INNOCENT people will suffer for it. Some victims grow up to be molesters, and create more victims. You are creating a spciety of victims. Rape is as much a threat to a FUNCTIONAL society as corruption is. The society is made by PEOPLE, a society CANNOT function properly if the PEOPLE in it, are PSYCHOLOGICALLY messed up.
The same way that a person steals money and it is covered up, that is how people steal innocence and cover it up. These two acts BREED corruption and both acts mess up the society.
Theft and Rape are TWO sides of a DAMAGED COIN. They are not EXCLUSIVE. When you condemn one and make excuses for the other, you DEFEND corruption.
5. TAKE IT TO COURT, NOT SOCIAL MEDIA
This is cute, considering most of you accusing politicians of corruption have never even approached the Code Of Conduct Bureau to lay a complaint, even less approached an actually court of law.
Has Ganduje been convicted by a court of corruption? There is a video of him collecting money, and so? Is it not just an allegation? What do you know the money is for?
Before most cases go to formal court, they must pass through the court of public opinion first. This court of public opinion is particularly useful where the rich and influential are concerned, because without it, the right authorities may not be moved to act. In every country in the world, court of public opinion is incredibly important, that is why PR firms EXIST, because public opinion is easily the most influential thing in today's society.
Public opinion matters because whatever decisions the courts reach, will affect the public directly or indirectly. So, while plans are in motion to institute this case in court, believe that the court of public opinion will have their say.
6. WHY IS THE CHURCH UNDER ATTACK?
This one is ridiculous.
Really? Is Fatoyinbo the church? Os he not just an individual? I did not know an individual can now be substitutued with a body as VAST as the church?
This argument is particularly interesting because a while ago, the Catholic church was inundated with protests concerning molestation of boys by priests. I did not see anyone talkinf about an attack on the church. Rather, a lot of 'Christians' were attacking and gloating at the Catholic church. What is with the double standards though?
How come I didn't see this energy then? Oh yeah! Only these New Generation churches make up the body of Christ these days, and one pastor can now be substituted for the entire church of Christ.
It is only the incredibly dense that use this line. One person cannot be "the church". Fatoyinbo is just a man, like you and me, whose 'anointing' is in question. Fatoyinbo cannot and can never be 'the church', Fatoyinbo is not even COZA church.
The church has been in existence long before anyone alive was, the church has outlived millions of people. The church has outlived years of persecution, the church has lived through divisions and break ups, the church survived scandals involving mass murder and genocide. It is not something as fickle aas Fatoyinbo's restless privates that will destroy the church.
The church is under threat, because the followers of Christ are PROTECTING the evil that lives AMONG them. The church is not being threatened from outside, it is being threatened from WITHIN. When the body of Christ is seen to support evil, they cause believers to live in doubt. God is not a God of evil, Christ would never support rapists and murderers.
The church may be under attack, but the evil elements inside are the people attacking the church from the inside.
Having answered these questions, I will not be answering any other question. Those who will be rapists, will continue to defend their ilk. I am glad that this saga has led many to talk about their experiences and given them the opportunity to heal. Whether Fatoyinbo is eventually charged and convicted of rape is not as important, because the most important goal has been achieved; many rapists have been exposed across the country, many victims have been given the much needed outlet and many will get the chance to finally heal. If that is all that is achieved, it will be for the greater good of the society. |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by NiCurious: 4:15am On Oct 13, 2019 |
PoliticalWitch: Hmmm
Looking at this from another angle, the problem with this rape case is simple.
A lot of Nigerian young guys worship success, and Fatoyinbo is the epitome of that success.
He is a guy who has apparently come from nothing to acheive something. The fact that the women are accusing him sounds , to many of thise success worshippers , like pull him down syndrome. Hence, their attempts to defend Fatoyinbo.
Another issue is this harsh but painful fact (sorry ladies, I'm going to he a bit harsh on you). A lot of Nigerian young men have been at one time or the other dumped by a girl they were in a relationship with, or at one time dissapinted by a girl they had a crush on, for another man who is 'richer' than they are. This colors their preception of women to a large extent as betrayers.
Again, a lot of women in Nigeria are 'materialistic'. I guess poverty too plays a role. Women in Nigeria have to often times make choices of men base on whether the man can take care of 'her family' Love ain't got nothing to do with it. Add the image put in many girls heads that the 'man is suppsoed to take care of the woman'....
Finally, a lot of guys in Nigeria don't know how to talk to women. They grow up in houses where their fathers rule the roost, being abusive to their wives, or being poorly communicative to their wives. They also have a lot of bad examples from other guys. Throw in our culture's commodificaiton of women, and that adds up to a very flawed view of the average Nigerian woman by the average Nigerian man. Made worse by the fact that most women aren't the doormats of yesterday.
Hence, that's why Busola isn't beleived. By many Nigerian men. Because of mistakes made, hearts broken, materialism, and flawed perceptions...at the end of the day, a rape victim is just another bad woman who 'probably enjoyed it' and 'is looking for more money'
Life. PoliticalWitch, you have said succinctly, what I have been trying to put into words, from my observations. You have said what I would have said, only better...until the last paragraph...where I hope that what you mean is "Because of mistakes made, hearts broken, materialism, and flawed perceptions...at the end of the day, a rape victim is perceived as just another bad woman who "probably enjoyed it" and "is looking for more money". 2 Likes |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by AquariusRising: 4:31am On Oct 13, 2019 |
BigJoe19: This doesn't still help the busola-fatoyinbo's case, we need facts and evidences not silly stories. You just had to go and call someone else's story silly. Your bias is showing and it doesn't look good. And for your information, the plural of evidence is also evidence! 2 Likes |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by stonecoldcafe: 4:36am On Oct 13, 2019 |
yincah38:
At times you dnt find closure , you just have to move on When i was 7yrs i was sexually molested by a lady (our neighborhood daughter) she was around 16yrs back then kept on for lyk a 2yrs. We later move to lagos cos of my dad's job everything was normal till we had this house girl she was close to 23yrs then and i was just 13yrs . She started flirting with me and we started having sex for like months before she left... Am in my 30s presently , i have a wife and a child . i just have to move on with life what type of closure will i be looking for ? I dnt even know where this people are cant even remember the name of our neighbors daughter . Fatoyibo surly had sex with Busola no doubt but was it Rape ?? NOOOO .. There is difference between Rape and having sex with a minor A minor cannot give consent Also sorry about what happened to you. The fact you were a boy (then) does not make what happened to you normal or acceptable It is just as bad as what happened to Bisola and the millions of women and young boys the world over And just because you got out of yours stronger and better today does not mean others can and would move on so easily As someone who went through abuse, I am somewhat shocked you feel what happened to Busola at that age is not rape but consensual sex. When I hear stories of rape or even Busola's, one name always comes to my mind and would never leave I remember the late Tokunbo Ajayi of NTA. I would never forget that lady @yincah38, you are in your thirties you say so perhaps you can remember her Do you know why she committed suicide? Do you know? Educate yourself https://twitter.com/umariayim/status/419807877369712640https://www.nairaland.com/3347155/remembering-late-tokunbo-ajai-16Not everyone is strong and can move on smoothly from rape. Never forget that 6 Likes |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by AquariusRising: 4:43am On Oct 13, 2019 |
yincah38:
At times you dnt find closure , you just have to move on When i was 7yrs i was sexually molested by a lady (our neighborhood daughter) she was around 16yrs back then kept on for lyk a 2yrs. We later move to lagos cos of my dad's job everything was normal till we had this house girl she was close to 23yrs then and i was just 13yrs . She started flirting with me and we started having sex for like months before she left... Am in my 30s presently , i have a wife and a child . i just have to move on with life what type of closure will i be looking for ? I dnt even know where this people are cant even remember the name of our neighbors daughter . Fatoyibo surly had sex with Busola no doubt but was it Rape ?? NOOOO .. There is difference between Rape and having sex with a minor Wow! I don't even know what to say to you. An adult having sex with a minor who doesn't even know what consent is, talk less of giving consent is the very definition of rape. Please educate yourself. 2 Likes |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by Cutehector(m): 5:10am On Oct 13, 2019 |
lokobyforch: Hypocrite everywhere, na social media be POLICE station the social media is powerful than the Nigeria police force. Take it anywhere! 1 Like |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by Cutehector(m): 5:13am On Oct 13, 2019 |
Emotions everywhere.. But there is one thing that stands, he hasnt been found guilty ! 1 Like |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by mildflame: 5:19am On Oct 13, 2019 |
zeuss: Kai! Something just didn't make sense to me there. I have no intention of making anyone feel bad here but I think there was no rape in the whole saga. There was rather a silent attraction that gave birth to mutual conjugality. Why be around a man for that long if you never liked him? Why keep mute on him raping you while your sister was in the house if you never liked it? Why didn't you shout and raise alarm when he was leaving, after the purported rape if you never liked it? Why didn't you share the first and second rape issue immediately to your beloved family if you never liked it? Why still go to his church if you never liked it? Why go stay at his house to help his wife and even sought to sleep in their master bedroom if you never liked it? Why follow him in his car to drop you if you never liked it? Why didn't you struggle when he took the u-turn to give you the supposed second rape if you never liked it? Why didn't you tell anyone again or even the police if you never liked it? After the third day, when he came to find out why you didn't go to church, why didn't you refuse going to the same church when he asked you to if you never liked it? Why didn't you show any sign of what he did to anyone? Why conceal the whole issue if you never liked it? Are you totally innocent Why didn't you tell us if you ever seduced him? Why didn't you tell us if you fell for his looks? Why did you do what you did and are still doing what you're doing to him now? Is it fair? So because someone accused you of sleeping with pastors in the past and is accusing you of being unfaithful in your marriage now you want to pick on the pastor who was in your past just to cover up on the accusation meted on you? Who knows if you probably seduced him to push him to that extent? What looks did you give him when he entered your house with your nighty on? Why didn't you rush to change? Why allow him to come in when you were probably Unclad in a transparent gown? Please, Pastors are humans. Let's be fair on them and their weaknesses as human as they are. Don't go seducing a man with your talent and beauty and expect him to act as brother Paul in the Bible when you refused to leave him and his territory. A man will chase you and get what he wants when he knows you're interested in him. We're not fools please ���� The woman should just admit that she was wrong as much as she claims that he was wrong Bro, you only just succeded in taking up space, wasting people's time and saying absolute RUBBISH? You think the society, teenagers, information awareness of 15years ago is the same as now? An underage is underage whosoever takes advantage of their ignorance is a DEVIL 3 Likes |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by SOFTENGR: 5:27am On Oct 13, 2019 |
OP, how would you feel if a girl falsely accuse your brother or your father of rape? I don't know Biodun, neither do I have any relationship with COZA, but as a liberal, why bring COZA into the matter? Na COZA "rape" am? ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by Lawbliss(f): 5:34am On Oct 13, 2019 |
Nice |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by favour32(m): 5:36am On Oct 13, 2019 |
Nigeria yeye mentality. If something negative neva happen to them or relatives na lie or fake. Rape na evil spirit. E can control weak and corrupted minds |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by SOFTENGR: 5:41am On Oct 13, 2019 |
zeuss: Kai! Something just didn't make sense to me there. I have no intention of making anyone feel bad here but I think there was no rape in the whole saga. There was rather a silent attraction that gave birth to mutual conjugality. Why be around a man for that long if you never liked him? Why keep mute on him raping you while your sister was in the house if you never liked it? Why didn't you shout and raise alarm when he was leaving, after the purported rape if you never liked it? Why didn't you share the first and second rape issue immediately to your beloved family if you never liked it? Why still go to his church if you never liked it? Why go stay at his house to help his wife and even sought to sleep in their master bedroom if you never liked it? Why follow him in his car to drop you if you never liked it? Why didn't you struggle when he took the u-turn to give you the supposed second rape if you never liked it? Why didn't you tell anyone again or even the police if you never liked it? After the third day, when he came to find out why you didn't go to church, why didn't you refuse going to the same church when he asked you to if you never liked it? Why didn't you show any sign of what he did to anyone? Why conceal the whole issue if you never liked it? Are you totally innocent Why didn't you tell us if you ever seduced him? Why didn't you tell us if you fell for his looks? Why did you do what you did and are still doing what you're doing to him now? Is it fair? So because someone accused you of sleeping with pastors in the past and is accusing you of being unfaithful in your marriage now you want to pick on the pastor who was in your past just to cover up on the accusation meted on you? Who knows if you probably seduced him to push him to that extent? What looks did you give him when he entered your house with your nighty on? Why didn't you rush to change? Why allow him to come in when you were probably Unclad in a transparent gown? Please, Pastors are humans. Let's be fair on them and their weaknesses as human as they are. Don't go seducing a man with your talent and beauty and expect him to act as brother Paul in the Bible when you refused to leave him and his territory. A man will chase you and get what he wants when he knows you're interested in him. We're not fools please ���� The woman should just admit that she was wrong as much as she claims that he was wrong Fatoyinbo might eventually be guilty or still remain innocent, but for now, he is presumed innocent. This is the true situation in the eyes of the law, or rather, in a sane society. But you and I know quite well that we are living in a jungle. Jungle justice is what obtains in a jungle, where someone is convicted without listening to his own side of the story. Fatoyinbo has been presumed guilty until proven innocent. People will attack you for being objective. That's what you get when you live in the jungle. One animal trying to bring the other down. "Educated" people behaving like primitive people. 1 Like |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by Nobody: 5:49am On Oct 13, 2019 |
NiCurious:
PoliticalWitch, you have said succinctly, what I have been trying to put into words, from my observations. You have said what I would have said, only better...until the last paragraph...where I hope that what you mean is "Because of mistakes made, hearts broken, materialism, and flawed perceptions...at the end of the day, a rape victim is perceived as just another bad woman who "probably enjoyed it" and "is looking for more money". Thanks, especially for the 'percieved' bit. That my last paragraph there...the grammar there was a bit unintentional 1 Like |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by samsard(m): 5:50am On Oct 13, 2019 |
abbey621: The post is not objective at all and is clearly one sided. Even police and any lawyer worth their stuff would tell you to name your accuser early and preserve as much ecvidence as possible. The questions raised were mostly useful and very damaging once it gets to court. Remember it's not what actually happened but what you can prove happened! If the pastor was a nobody, would she be so high pressed to come out after all these years? I mean she said he did it twice and she even ended up going to work for him at his home with his wife and their newborn child, does this not sound fishy to anyone? In this age of social media it is easy to take sides and be very sentimental, this is why she knew her best bet was to put it out there and let the ever ready public tear him to pieces. Guilty or not, we'll never know. Justice has already been served! I know more than one girl who got raped and for whatever reason kept cooperating afterwards, it's heartbreaking that you people are unreasonable 7 Likes |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by Nobody: 5:52am On Oct 13, 2019 |
safarigirl: Due to the overwhelming ignorance that has sadly inundated Nairaland since Busola Dakolo's interview broke out, I would like to address the most popular Mind-numbing questions that have been generated from this event once and for all.
I will address them one by one, and hope that my answers can free some of you from this disturbing stand you have taken on rape. I know many of you think this is the internet and there are no consequences, but one day, you will apply for an international visa, and they will check your internet history and discover you are a rape apologist and that will be the end of your dreams of being Mungo Park.
So, here goes.
1. WHY NOW?
Why now? Why not now? If not now, when?
How would you feel, if someone raped you and went about his daily life with pomp and pageantry? Have you ever been offended by someone? Has someone evee cheated you of something and gotten glory afterwards? How does that make you feel? Are you happy? Are you indifferent? Doesn't the sight of the person burn your soul?
Let me explain how rape works. Rape is not just a violent act against the body, it is an act against the mind as well. About 90% of rape victims are usually threatened with harm if they speak, some are cajoled into thinking their rape was normal. They cannot speak for fear of not being believed. How do you tell your parents that your uncle raped you? Who will believe you if you accuse the most jovial person in the neighborhood of rape? What will become of you if you tell someone that you were raped by the most dangerous person in the neighborhood? What if your parents' livelihood is at stake?
There is no stipulated time for anyone to confess their truth. So many may have confessed earlier on, but were told to shut up. I know rape victims that confided in their parents and were scolded for even talking such 'nonsense'. If your own family cannot believe you, who will you talk to?
All a victim needs is someone to believe them. Someone to stand by them, that feeling is all you need to speak your truth. Bishop's hand was held by her husband and she has spoken her truth, what the rest of the world has to say is irrelevant (YES, YOU are irrelevant), the most important person in her life right now is supportive and that is all that matters.
Why Now? Now, because someone has said I BELIEVE YOU, I SUPPORT YOU. So, whenever a victim's NOW occurs, is the right time.
2. WOULD SHE HAVE SPOKEN UP IF HE WASN'T RICH AND INFLUENTIAL?
Would the matter have been this serious if SHE wasn't rich and influential? Is Mrs. Dakolo the first person to accuse Fatoyinbo? How far did the last accusations go? How many protests did it lead to? How many people confessed to have been rape victims? Would it have risen to the level of a national discourse if she wasn't this rich and influential? Would you have taken it seriously if it wasn't Busola Dakolo?
When it was Ese, how many believed her? What was the support like? People accused her of being an olosho, homebreaker and all sorts. Today, it is a married woman with an influential husband, she has no risen to break pastor's home. What are you going to say? It is because of his position.
YES, his position is relevant. It is people in HIS position that are the most culpable in rape. Pastors, Imams, Uncles, Aunties, Cousins, Fathers, Mothers, Sisters. His Position influenced his act. People TRUST him, who would believe someone like HIM will rape anyone? Who will believe a Man Of God will rape anyone? WHO WILL BELIEVE?
Every rapist is INFLUENTIAL in their own right. Just because you don't know them, does not mean someone doesn't. They are known to families and neighbors. Someone looks at them with respect, every rapist is a celebrity in their own right. Their victims are witnesses to their adoration, their victims listen to the words of adulation showered upon them by those who do not know better. Every RAPIST os hiding under a CLOAK of INFLUENCE. You cannot talk, because nobody will believe that such an UPSTANDING member of society could do such a HEINOUS act.
It is good that a MOG is on the hot seat. This is a MESSAGE of Empowerment to victims, that NOBODY is ABOVE public PERSECUTION. If Fatoyinbo can be questioned, so can that uncle that is nice to everyone, so can the neughborhood philantropist, if Fatoyinbo can be harassed, then that sweet aunty can also be harassed, the landlord/caretaker can be harassed, your tormentor can be harasssed. There are no sacred cows.
3. MEN HAVE BEEN FALSELY ACCUSED OF RECENT, HOW ARE WE SURE THIS ISN'T THE SAME?
Is it today Fatoyinbo has been accused? Is Busola the first one to accuse him? Since she spoke up, have more women not come to point fingers at him? Is he the only Pastor in Nigeria? Why always him? Why not Adefarasin, Oyakhilome or Suleiman? Is he the most successful? When Suleiman was faced with his own trials, was he, at any point accused of rape? Was Oyakhilome ever acccused of rape, even when he was accused of adultery?
How many men have been falsely accused by MULTIPLE women?
Fatoyinbo can best be likened to people like Bill Cosby and R-Kelly, not Neymar and C. Ronaldo.
One woman is vendetta, two women is a conspiracy, three women is a pattern, more than three women, is a perpetrator.
4. WHY CAN'T THEY PROTEST CORRUPTION?
Banky W, Rugged Man, Seun Kuti, Falz, Simi, ElDee
These are a few celebrities that have at one point or the other, protested against the Government and the System. What about you? Have you ever protested?
Let me tell you, Rape is Corruption, it is a corruption of a mind and body. It is a virus that lives within the rapist and is spread to the victim. When you tell a victim to shut up, you enable corruption. You are telling the world that a rapist should not be held accountable for his crimes, just like supporters of the corruption in government, are telling us those thieves should not be held accountable for theirs
The ACTIVE DEFENSE of ANY Crime, be it against the state or against HUMANITY is CORRUPTION. When you speak for an ALLEGED Rapist, you SUPPORT corruption. "She enjoyed it" is the same thing as "If na you, you sef go steal pass am". "Why didn't she talk since?" Is the same thing as "Enemy of progress, why will you report a theft in the office?"
Rape is a scourge to society just as looting is. The victim will grow up to become a part of the society, thw victim will not heal, the victim will carry a grudge and INNOCENT people will suffer for it. Some victims grow up to be molesters, and create more victims. You are creating a spciety of victims. Rape is as much a threat to a FUNCTIONAL society as corruption is. The society is made by PEOPLE, a society CANNOT function properly if the PEOPLE in it, are PSYCHOLOGICALLY messed up.
The same way that a person steals money and it is covered up, that is how people steal innocence and cover it up. These two acts BREED corruption and both acts mess up the society.
Theft and Rape are TWO sides of a DAMAGED COIN. They are not EXCLUSIVE. When you condemn one and make excuses for the other, you DEFEND corruption.
5. TAKE IT TO COURT, NOT SOCIAL MEDIA
This is cute, considering most of you accusing politicians of corruption have never even approached the Code Of Conduct Bureau to lay a complaint, even less approached an actually court of law.
Has Ganduje been convicted by a court of corruption? There is a video of him collecting money, and so? Is it not just an allegation? What do you know the money is for?
Before most cases go to formal court, they must pass through the court of public opinion first. This court of public opinion is particularly useful where the rich and influential are concerned, because without it, the right authorities may not be moved to act. In every country in the world, court of public opinion is incredibly important, that is why PR firms EXIST, because public opinion is easily the most influential thing in today's society.
Public opinion matters because whatever decisions the courts reach, will affect the public directly or indirectly. So, while plans are in motion to institute this case in court, believe that the court of public opinion will have their say.
6. WHY IS THE CHURCH UNDER ATTACK?
This one is ridiculous.
Really? Is Fatoyinbo the church? Os he not just an individual? I did not know an individual can now be substitutued with a body as VAST as the church?
This argument is particularly interesting because a while ago, the Catholic church was inundated with protests concerning molestation of boys by priests. I did not see anyone talkinf about an attack on the church. Rather, a lot of 'Christians' were attacking and gloating at the Catholic church. What is with the double standards though?
How come I didn't see this energy then? Oh yeah! Only these New Generation churches make up the body of Christ these days, and one pastor can now be substituted for the entire church of Christ.
It is only the incredibly dense that use this line. One person cannot be "the church". Fatoyinbo is just a man, like you and me, whose 'anointing' is in question. Fatoyinbo cannot and can never be 'the church', Fatoyinbo is not even COZA church.
The church has been in existence long before anyone alive was, the church has outlived millions of people. The church has outlived years of persecution, the church has lived through divisions and break ups, the church survived scandals involving mass murder and genocide. It is not something as fickle aas Fatoyinbo's restless privates that will destroy the church.
The church is under threat, because the followers of Christ are PROTECTING the evil that lives AMONG them. The church is not being threatened from outside, it is being threatened from WITHIN. When the body of Christ is seen to support evil, they cause believers to live in doubt. God is not a God of evil, Christ would never support rapists and murderers.
The church may be under attack, but the evil elements inside are the people attacking the church from the inside.
Having answered these questions, I will not be answering any other question. Those who will be rapists, will continue to defend their ilk. I am glad that this saga has led many to talk about their experiences and given them the opportunity to heal. Whether Fatoyinbo is eventually charged and convicted of rape is not as important, because the most important goal has been achieved; many rapists have been exposed across the country, many victims have been given the much needed outlet and many will get the chance to finally heal. If that is all that is achieved, it will be for the greater good of the society. Nonsense. |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by samsard(m): 5:57am On Oct 13, 2019 |
yincah38:
At times you dnt find closure , you just have to move on When i was 7yrs i was sexually molested by a lady (our neighborhood daughter) she was around 16yrs back then kept on for lyk a 2yrs. We later move to lagos cos of my dad's job everything was normal till we had this house girl she was close to 23yrs then and i was just 13yrs . She started flirting with me and we started having sex for like months before she left... Am in my 30s presently , i have a wife and a child . i just have to move on with life what type of closure will i be looking for ? I dnt even know where this people are cant even remember the name of our neighbors daughter . Fatoyibo surly had sex with Busola no doubt but was it Rape ?? NOOOO .. There is difference between Rape and having sex with a minor You're confused. That is called statutory rape and is a serious offence. You're a boy anyway so your experience of rape shouldn't be compared to a girls. We all know that for a fact |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by samsard(m): 6:04am On Oct 13, 2019 |
SOFTENGR: OP, how would you feel if a girl falsely accuse your brother or your father of rape? I don't know Biodun, neither do I have any relationship with COZA, but as a liberal, why bring COZA into the matter? Na COZA "rape" am? ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png)
Shut the Bleep up. I know SEVERAL girls that were raped, almost raped etc. One of them was my sister. In short, boys/guys sometimes share stories of how they forced a girl or almost did! My neighbor and friend told me he almost had his way with another neighbor of ours I was crushing on, she DIDN'T tell me this and the only reason I know is because the guy told me. He would have raped her if she hadn't started crying and getting the landlord's attention! One girl was raped by her sister's husband's brother, they lived next door! You guys are pathetic, for every wrong rape accusation, there's 9 that wasn't even reported. 6 Likes |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by Nobody: 6:16am On Oct 13, 2019 |
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Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by femi4: 6:22am On Oct 13, 2019 |
zeuss: Kai! Something just didn't make sense to me there. I have no intention of making anyone feel bad here but I think there was no rape in the whole saga. There was rather a silent attraction that gave birth to mutual conjugality. Why be around a man for that long if you never liked him? Why keep mute on him raping you while your sister was in the house if you never liked it? Why didn't you shout and raise alarm when he was leaving, after the purported rape if you never liked it? Why didn't you share the first and second rape issue immediately to your beloved family if you never liked it? Why still go to his church if you never liked it? Why go stay at his house to help his wife and even sought to sleep in their master bedroom if you never liked it? Why follow him in his car to drop you if you never liked it? Why didn't you struggle when he took the u-turn to give you the supposed second rape if you never liked it? Why didn't you tell anyone again or even the police if you never liked it? After the third day, when he came to find out why you didn't go to church, why didn't you refuse going to the same church when he asked you to if you never liked it? Why didn't you show any sign of what he did to anyone? Why conceal the whole issue if you never liked it? Are you totally innocent Why didn't you tell us if you ever seduced him? Why didn't you tell us if you fell for his looks? Why did you do what you did and are still doing what you're doing to him now? Is it fair? So because someone accused you of sleeping with pastors in the past and is accusing you of being unfaithful in your marriage now you want to pick on the pastor who was in your past just to cover up on the accusation meted on you? Who knows if you probably seduced him to push him to that extent? What looks did you give him when he entered your house with your nighty on? Why didn't you rush to change? Why allow him to come in when you were probably Unclad in a transparent gown? Please, Pastors are humans. Let's be fair on them and their weaknesses as human as they are. Don't go seducing a man with your talent and beauty and expect him to act as brother Paul in the Bible when you refused to leave him and his territory. A man will chase you and get what he wants when he knows you're interested in him. We're not fools please ���� The woman should just admit that she was wrong as much as she claims that he was wrong Illiterate ..you ve not heard of the word HYPNOTISE before 2 Likes |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by NoToPile: 6:24am On Oct 13, 2019 |
PoliticalWitch: Hmmm
Looking at this from another angle, the problem with this rape case is simple.
A lot of Nigerian young guys worship success, and Fatoyinbo is the epitome of that success.
He is a guy who has apparently come from nothing to acheive something. The fact that the women are accusing him sounds , to many of thise success worshippers , like pull him down syndrome. Hence, their attempts to defend Fatoyinbo.
Another issue is this harsh but painful fact (sorry ladies, I'm going to he a bit harsh on you). A lot of Nigerian young men have been at one time or the other dumped by a girl they were in a relationship with, or at one time dissapinted by a girl they had a crush on, for another man who is 'richer' than they are. This colors their preception of women to a large extent as betrayers.
Again, a lot of women in Nigeria are 'materialistic'. I guess poverty too plays a role. Women in Nigeria have to often times make choices of men base on whether the man can take care of 'her family' Love ain't got nothing to do with it. Add the image put in many girls heads that the 'man is suppsoed to take care of the woman'....
Finally, a lot of guys in Nigeria don't know how to talk to women. They grow up in houses where their fathers rule the roost, being abusive to their wives, or being poorly communicative to their wives. They also have a lot of bad examples from other guys. Throw in our culture's commodificaiton of women, and that adds up to a very flawed view of the average Nigerian woman by the average Nigerian man. Made worse by the fact that most women aren't the doormats of yesterday
Hence, that's why Busola isn't beleived. By many Nigerian men. Because of mistakes made, hearts broken, materialism, and flawed perceptions...at the end of the day, a rape victim is just another bad woman who 'probably enjoyed it' and 'is looking for more money
Life. You are right. It was this coza case that made me realize there are lots of rape apologists on nairaland. I remember the sugarbelly and ese walters case. It was during the sugarbelly saga a friend confessed to me she was raped back in school, but who would believe her, it was her boyfriend and it was his house she said people would blame her. This thing happens very often and its people we trust. And Nigerian guys dont really get over a breakup and cant handle disappointment thats why they label ladies as gold diggers. She broke up with you or refused to date you? Then move on but no they start whining about how nigerian girls are this and that etc etc, how they will take their revenge on another girl. I read some comments on this nairaland and shake my head. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by utenwuson: 6:30am On Oct 13, 2019 |
Long meaningless epistle....
I don't even know the essence of the accusations, social media for that matter, what exactly were they expecting biodun to do, accept to raping her and go jail himself?
We have heard different stories on ladies wrongly accusing celebrities of rape, neymar, Cristiano Ronaldo, all these was basically to get money from them or tarnish their image, so are u telling me it's not a possibility to link that to this busola own?
Look.... Rape is bad and every sane human being knows this, but we must remove emotions from fact, we were not there when it happens over 17 years ago, only the two of them know what happened, it can't be proven, we can't just accept the accusations in all fairness.
What most of us deduce is that they may actually be dating, now the age for consenting in kwara at that time was 16, she was 17,
Look at 100 level 17 years old students now, 90 percent of 17 year old in Nigeria right now has at least one boy friend, having a boyfriend is not to read Bible, even if it is to the lady it isn't to the guy. EVERY guy goes into a relationship to have sex, '' bitter truth''
Biodun would have come out to say she's lying, we were dating and all but he's a pastor for crying out loud so the best bet is to totally denied.
So all the questions u wrote up there are totally right... Why now, why didn't she scream, why social media, why why why. 4 Likes |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by tosynbaba(m): 6:30am On Oct 13, 2019 |
What a senseless, mindless and thoughtless post.
So because someone has been regularly accused of something does not mean he is guilty. The media and evil people decides who to target. Same way they call Donald Trump racist. Every human being of sound mind and common sense knows Trump is not racist. But what does he get accused of?
I still insist fatoyinbo( a man I totally dislike) did not r@pe her. Every man over 30 knows how bitter some women can be. He was just a pastor enjoying her poocee with her consent. She was nothing but a side chick. Only his success is killing her.
Some women are sadists. Once you drop them for them for the next hot girl they become bitter and would do anything to slander you all around the world.
This comment was proudly brought to you by a man separated from his wife and currently enjoying the freshest of poocees and whose soon to be ex wife has slandered him with her bitterness.
P.S both the r@pe accuser and denier should be believed in equal measures or both should be totally ignored. I rise 2 Likes |
Re: RAPE: FAQ On Nairaland Since The COZA Saga by luminouz(m): 6:45am On Oct 13, 2019 |
abbey621:
Trust me the damage is not to be underestimated. Lol, accusations without proof hold no lasting damage. If it were to be video or audio evidence now,I would believe you. |