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Am I Weak Man ? See What My GF Does After We Quarrel (pic) / Is 9.5 Minutes Of Sex Too Short? My gf wants to kill me / I Couldn't Believe It When My Gf Told Me This (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Help by Starz825(m): 6:49pm On Oct 13, 2019
Selfkontrol:
The rest of it
Oga..one question for you bro....

Can u bear those weaknesses u mentioned above when u eventually marry her??...
If no..then leave her alone....
See oga...that girl is coming back to you...I tell u again like I keep saying it....don't be emotional when u want to pick a woman..be logical...think with ur head not ur heart....don't be a sissy...don't pity pple when u Know u can't live with thier attitude...it will hunt u down in future....don't fall for all this she is beautiful, she is pretty, she knows aw to cook and all..


We all know nobody is perfect...but the question is
can I live with a lady of such imperfections

1 Like

Re: Help by mrjojo: 6:54pm On Oct 13, 2019
Selfkontrol:
wow bro. There’s so much similarities btw what you just said and my gf. She also sees marriage as an excape route which I was very angry at her. Told her with such mentality she would be led to end up with anyone. Mine is introverted too. She got no female friends. No one to advice her even. Sometimes I have pity for her considering the stress she goes through with basically no life. Honestly this is just my case. This is it!!! We have had series of fights in school before because at a point we where living together. It’s not in my nature to lay hands on a girl but she brought out the worse in me and we had a serious fight which made her destroy many of my properties, my TV set, home theater, microwave and center table.She almost destroy my laptop if not for timely intervention. I really don’t know if it’s genuine love I have for her or just out of pity. I have this soft spot for her and the strsss she’s going through now is too much. Not gotten a job yet and back to her parents house working in there restaurants where she basically work from morning till night with no time for herself plus shouts and insults from mother. The girl was there for me back in school so Walking away is just so hard honestly

See, most insecure ladies always have the tendency to become violent and this she has shown. Breaking up was very hard for me, she is the only lady I ever introduced to my family, my social life revolves 100% around her, I'm practically bored to death this days (work and sleep). But the fact remains with all her good traits and characteristics, can you cope with all her imperfections for the long haul? I cherish my peace of mind more than any other thing.

You wouldn't find a perfect lady, you aren't either, but there is always a deal breaker for individuals, and our tolerant level defers. So it always better to find the imperfection and flaws you can manage, don't ever bet on people changing, they often times don't.

And it normal to feel pity and indebted to her, but the worse thing a relationship can be built on is pity, talk more of marriage.

2 Likes

Re: Help by Selfkontrol: 7:24pm On Oct 13, 2019
[quote author=mrjojo post=83107874]

See, most insecure ladies always have the tendency to become violent and this she has shown. Breaking up was very hard for me, she is the only lady I ever introduced to my family, my social life revolves 100% around her, I'm practically bored to death this days (work and sleep). But the fact remains with all her good traits and characteristics, can you cope with all her imperfections for the long haul? I cherish my peace of mind more than any other thing.

You wouldn't find a perfect lady, you aren't either, but there is always a deal breaker for individuals, and our tolerant level defers. So it always better to find the imperfection and flaws you can manage, don't ever bet on people changing, they often times don't.

And it normal to feel pity and indebted to her, but the worse thing a relationship can be built on is pity, talk more of marriage.
Re: Help by Selfkontrol: 7:27pm On Oct 13, 2019
mrjojo:


See, most insecure ladies always have the tendency to become violent and this she has shown. Breaking up was very hard for me, she is the only lady I ever introduced to my family, my social life revolves 100% around her, I'm practically bored to death this days (work and sleep). But the fact remains with all her good traits and characteristics, can you cope with all her imperfections for the long haul? I cherish my peace of mind more than any other thing.

You wouldn't find a perfect lady, you aren't either, but there is always a deal breaker for individuals, and our tolerant level defers. So it always better to find the imperfection and flaws you can manage, don't ever bet on people changing, they often times don't.

And it normal to feel pity and indebted to her, but the worse thing a relationship can be built on is pity, talk more of marriage.

So much sense and wisdom in this comment bro. Over the years I have realized that even though I love her, the reason I’m still tolerant of her excesses is simply out of pity. And she’s very good at emotional blackmail. Imagine her telling me “ do I deserve all this?” “ what is my crime”, “ is loving you a crime” and so many others. I really didn’t put in much details in my narration because it’s too much to say. Honestly you are the only person that said it exactly how it is. And we can always relate if we happen to be in same shoes. I know I have my bad sides too but I don’t think I stress her this much. Back in school my social life was close to zero because everything revolves around her. I know the kind of person she is. She has a good heart. I only feel sorry for her because I know she will go frustrated and might end up marrying someone she doesn’t even love or her type because of family pressure. She’s just a lonely girl that can’t withstand life and easily gets frustrated when things don’t go smoothly for her.
Re: Help by Nobody: 7:36pm On Oct 13, 2019
This op gan is a mumu. She’s very right ya not man enough you’re acting like a sissy
Re: Help by Selfkontrol: 7:38pm On Oct 13, 2019
dondemex:
This op gan is a mumu. She’s very right ya not man enough you’re acting like a sissy
easy to say bro. You have no idea
Re: Help by Allsingles: 7:54pm On Oct 13, 2019
Selfkontrol:
Good morning everyone. I had to create a new account just to post this to stay anonymous. Forgive any grammatical error pls.


I have this gf of over 6 years.(note: there has been breakups between this period and even one that lasted for two years but we always come back) We started dating since my 200 level in school and there has been ups and downs between us. Quarrels, fights over all little things. She’s 24while I’m 28. Well towards final year we broke up because of a lot of things that happened. I want to be brief as possible.

I must say she’s a loving, supportive gf through out my university days but threw in the towel towards final year and started dating someone else because she couldn’t cope with my brokenness anymore. Well a lot contributed to that too. I was hurt and bitter for weeks but I didn’t blame her because she tried staying up to that moment. Even my friends where surprised becos she’s a beautiful girl. Al those period she never cheated. But to be frank, I have never seen an insecured, controlling, immature, obsessive, nagging gf all my life. I know I also had my shortcomings but this girl is worse. All our fights we had was not because I cheated but because she always assume I do. She always suspect. She’s too fast to conclude even when I’m so pure to the heart.

Fast forward to months later when things became well for me, for the fact she never cheated on me, and she really helped me during school days tho never stayed still the end. Well she was still young and immature. Being so kind and grateful, I rekindled the love we had becos we actually do love our selves. I don’t know if I was stupid doing that or just being grateful for all what we went through but one thing I know is I never regretted my decision.

Time has come and gone and we are still dating and also dealing with her nagging attitude and sometimes very rude when she’s angry. ( after school she went back to Lagos where she is based while I’m based in Warri) so I fell distance contributes too. But honestly I do ask my self if this is the girl I really want to wife because I actually love her and wants to wife her because she’s a good girl. But she nags a lot, too rude, verbally abusive, wants to be controlling. Because of this girl I never had any female friends in school because we where living together after some point. Well mostly because I couldn’t afford my own rent in full so we had to team up and rent a house. I was also isolated from my male friends.

I’m really in a big dilemma to be frank. Sometimes I’m scared if I can’t get a good girl that can be faithful and loyal as her because girls of nowadays are something else. Or I’m just stucked with her. I have actually not tried having a real gf durin our breakups because I wasn’t just ready for something new so I really don’t know. I’m confused as hell. . This girl don’t give me peace of mind sometimes. This moment she’s cool then next minute she’s something else. One incident that happened. I was on a video cal with her and an urgent call came in. I told her baby give me a few Sec to pick the call. After picking that call this girl flamed up and started giving me attitude. That I was supposed to finish that video cal with her before picking any call without even asking me who was calling. Well I’m just stating that to give you guys the kind of silly attitudes she exhibits.

The one that happened just of recent. Just last night. We didn’t speak the whole of Friday because we where avoiding each other so Saturday I called her but she gave me attitude. I left her. Later in the evening I said let me hangout with my friend. A female friend tho Out of the blues her calls came in and I picked. She asked me where I was I told her I went out. She said with who. I said must I go with someone if I want to go out like I can’t I go out alone. She started nagging and requested for a video call. I picked the call and showed her around to tell her I was alone but she never believed anything. She kept on nagging. Kept calling me repeatedly oo. See me case. Someone that didn’t have my time earlier. Well it got to a point I never picked her calls nor video calls anymore partly because the place was very noisy and because it’s embarrassing shouting on the phone and explaining to a gf in present of people. Well I have said enough.

Guys I need advice. I feel like breaking up with this girl. I don’t know if I’m just being selfish or making the right decision. I might look stupid to some people right now but all critics is allowed. I will share screenshots of the messages she sent me when I wasn’t picking her calls

You mentioned one thing here which is very crucial in every relationship and that thing is MATURITY.
Maturity is definitely different from age, even if the person is 40 years old but mentally he or she is not Matured, it simply means the person is not Matured to be in any relationship.
So many things can make a lady to be nagging and this includes when she is mentally disturbed due to family issues, pressure from either family or friends, career, and also expectations and this includes what she expected from you that did not receive.
Now that the both of you are physically distanced from each other, I will like you to look at these 8 keys that makes Long distance relationship to work to help strengthen your relationship with her. .....https://allsinglesandmarried..com/2019/10/the-8-keys-that-make-long-distance.html
Re: Help by Sambaby7640: 8:17pm On Oct 13, 2019
Selfkontrol:
you are not wrong saying she’s rude and lack respect sometimes but saying I cheat lol. Yes I might have but never in anyway has she ever caught me or seen me or have I rubbed it on her face. I’m too smart for that. All she does is suspect and assumes even when I’m doing nothing. You may feel she has caught me in the past but noo she has never. I have remained faithful to an extent. She’s just naturally jealous and insecured
[b]Dude if you will listen to me.According to your words she is lonely and you are all she has got,as a friend and lover.....Now that is where the problem lies.....She does not want to lose you as she does not have another..... Losing you will make are feel miserable trust me and that is why she is all that clingy and nagging thinking by doing so you will be forced to spill the beans



The solution right now is to call her and tell her how much she means to you....also tell her you are not cheating as she feels and pls if possible help her get a job it is very important...infact,super important as the advantages are numerous....she will have less time one her hands to be disturbing you and following up on every of your steps....it will also help you guys financially.

In conclusion,she loves you a lot and you are probably all she has got as she is such a reserve person(very few friends and all)...Also you should try to help her get that Job really important,it will help a lot or you can at least for now get her new friends,take to places and you guys should enjoy life pls.(don't ask me how)
Re: Help by Nobody: 8:21pm On Oct 13, 2019
.
Re: Help by Jflex07(m): 8:42pm On Oct 13, 2019
Op I am not wishing you bad oh, Marry this girl and you will quarrel and fight most of the days, a friend of mine is a case study ,he felt she will change once they get married, but alas she became worst, yours might be different though. All the best.
Re: Help by dinodesmond(m): 8:42pm On Oct 13, 2019
Sambaby7640:

[b]Dude if you will listen to me.According to your words she is lonely and you are all she has got,as a friend and lover.....Now that is where the problem lies.....She does not want to lose you as she does not have another..... Losing you will make are feel miserable trust me and that is why she is all that clingy and nagging thinking by doing so you will be forced to spill the beans



The solution right now is to call her and tell her how much she means to you....also tell her you are not cheating as she feels and pls if possible help her get a job it is very important...infact,super important as the advantages are numerous....she will have less time one her hands to be disturbing you and following up on every of your steps....it will also help you guys financially.

In conclusion,she loves you a lot and you are probably all she has got as she is such a reserve person(very few friends and all)...Also you should try to help her get that Job really important,it will help a lot or you can at least for now get her new friends,take to places and you guys should enjoy life pls.(don't ask me how)

This person is right.
I think that girl has invested much so to her , you are her property waiting to be claimed by marriage. she feels okay to nag. she go tell herself 'sebi its my property, nobody should chide me'. I doubt if that girl can leave u.
Re: Help by dinodesmond(m): 8:48pm On Oct 13, 2019
you will learn to manage her bads and enjoy her goods. if however her bads outweigh her goods then you can think twice. I wish you the best bro
Re: Help by seanjy4konji: 8:50pm On Oct 13, 2019
You need to break up with theirs girl. Had same girl. I every thought i typed that shit...

You need to free her.. You need to..

Don't let love deceivV you.. You won't be happy in future.

That attitude of rudeness, arrogant, talk anyhow will never change and as a Megan I don't exactly eat you7live with that for rest of your life..

Be guided ooo

U needs to let her go oo
Re: Help by YhungD12: 8:54pm On Oct 13, 2019
Pubichairs:
cheesy Indeed u are not a man, just see as this cunt the control ur life, u should be tired of this relationship by now but here u are still being gullible with she hasn't cheated and all that

na so Kwame take enter one chance marriage


There are still good girls out there...leave the clingy cunt and move on with ur life...marry such person at ur own Peril


no de stress ur self cos of one woman, she no even get respect for u
I just tire honestly, this girl is a serious problem with this her attitude of a thing
Re: Help by YhungD12: 8:57pm On Oct 13, 2019
carzola:
Nobody is perfect...look beyond her flaws
And be with her...

Sometimes distance can drive somebody crazy
I can say fr sure she loves u..
But if u guys continue like this she will cheat
Cause she has trust issues...

All the best. .
Try and make her trust u more.
or she has already been cheating sef undecided
Re: Help by MARX77(m): 8:59pm On Oct 13, 2019
As a general rule, I don't argue with my girlfriend, i believe it's disrespectful to my own self. I just make my point and chill, no need exchanging words.
Re: Help by Nobody: 9:04pm On Oct 13, 2019
MissOffpoint:
You are a cheat....
I really hope she dumps you...
offpoint you don get Mrs?
Re: Help by maynation(f): 9:13pm On Oct 13, 2019
selfkontrol:
But honestly I do ask my self if this is the girl I really want to wife because I actually love her and wants to wife her because she’s a good girl. But she nags a lot, too rude, verbally abusive, wants to be controlling.


Remind me of the meaning of a good girl again??



And please can't you people type like sane humans? What sorta crappy typings are those?
Re: Help by Offpoint: 9:19pm On Oct 13, 2019
ambitiouschap:

offpoint you don get Mrs?
na so o, I don engage o
Re: Help by gykes(m): 9:34pm On Oct 13, 2019
perousd:
From experience, girls like this cheat. I tell you bro. She doesn't trust herself so she can't trust you.


Honestly. You are the ONLY experienced person here. Leave all these pesudo-intellegent/experienced "adults" with zero knowledge of games peeps play in relationships.

People who are quick to suspect and assume are the worse cheats. Strangely, they cloak themselves with the don of faithfulness when in reality it's the distrust in themselves they are projecting to their partners.

To the OP, wise up, if you are a Christian, read TITUS 1:15 "To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure; but even their mind and conscience are defiled."


MODIFIED:
As regards RESPECT for her man - the OP, lol I laugh because even the OP can swear she has never cheated on him. But what OP needs to understand is that once a lady cheats and don't get caught and she cheats again, over time she gets emboldened and as time goes on, that boldness makes her look down on her man, and there goes the respect and regard.

The GF sees the OP as someone who is weak, naive, unsuspecting that she can always come back to when things dont work out with her "ideal dudes" , afterall, she's an introvert with no friends to expose her "games".

OP your GF is very pretty right? ever wondered why her other relationships didn't work and those dudes never bothered to come back?

Go read about Narcissism and you will see narcissistic tendencies in your babe

1 Like

Re: Help by sweetonugbu: 9:51pm On Oct 13, 2019
[ quote author=maynation post=83111291]


Remind me of the meaning of a good girl again??

Where did I write that crap u just quoted,are you drunk?,please I am not attracted to a low life hooker,thank you.

Re: Help by maynation(f): 10:12pm On Oct 13, 2019
sweetonugbu:

Where did I write that crap u just quoted,are you drunk?,please I am not attracted to a low life hooker,thank you.

See this shameless immature sissy, it's easy to be a lion on social media and be a lifeless ant in reality.
I just read your chats with one of your brainless hookers if you had flexed your muscles to her like you just did to me you won't have to come here seeking validations.

Your girlfriend is dominance over you and here you are typing like a hungry gay.
You think having that 1-inch rod inbetween your scaly laps makes you a man?
A 28-year old toddler.
Quote me again and watch your hell delivered to you.
Re: Help by sweetonugbu: 10:21pm On Oct 13, 2019
U are not well,when did I become the OP,i don't patronize hookers please.quote author=maynation post=83112701]

See this shameless immature sissy, it's easy to be a lion on social media and be a lifeless ant in reality.
I just read your chats with one of your brainless hookers if you had flexed your muscles to her like you just did to me you won't have to come here seeking validations.

Your girlfriend is dominance over you and here you are typing like a hungry gay.
You think having that 1-inch rod inbetween your scaly laps makes you a man?
A 28-year old toddler.
Quote me again and watch your hell delivered to you.


[/quote]

Re: Help by freethinker01: 10:27pm On Oct 13, 2019
Oblongata:
The girl is a normal naija girl in love...

You are the child here and you are not ready...

Please let her go and meet a real man.

You went out with another lady and got caught, and you are quick to term her a nag? Like seriously?

I will rather sit this out and pretend I didn’t read sheet cool
So this is normal to u, are u kidding me?
All I'm seeing is a controlling, egomaniac, selfish and self-centred scumbag.
Al the best for u and your typical normal naija girl in love.
All these wuss and pansy of a man tolerating shits from all these dumbos. Nothing I cherish more than my peace.
Smdh
Re: Help by Marley147: 12:38am On Oct 14, 2019
drips8:
You should quit the relationship.

You have a side chick and you obviously can't expect your girlfriend to stay mute.
even at that she is too rude I can't address my guy in that way no matter what. She is not an option at all kiss kiss

1 Like

Re: Help by loshybab(m): 9:24am On Oct 14, 2019
Selfkontrol:
thanks for your observations. Using the f word for her it’s nothing. She has said worse things than that but i try not to take those things serious because I know people say a lot of things day don’t mean when angry. If my mom could tel me she regret paying my fees becos she had a bad dream about me and told me to go to church and fast and I refused lol. I know she never meant that but people say things when angry.

And for meeting new person better or not. I really don’t know. I just hate starting things afresh. This is like a girl that knows everything about me same with her. We have been together for 6 years. The love is there. Sometimes she’s just obsessed about me and when I don’t play to her beats she nags and say things. I’m really going to miss her to be honest if we break up because i know it’s hard getting a girl like that. But the same time how long can I cope with such behavior. I always feel she would change with time but how wrong or right can I be
The first bolded statement shows she's controlling you or on the verge of being successful in doing so.

The second bolded is the reason why you've stayed this long,but nothing has changed. If she hasn't changed for the past 6years of trying,what assurance do you have that she will in a life contract? What assurance do U have that you won't also lose your sanity in the long run of trying to change her or in the event that she gets worst?

I can't make the decision for you but U gotta make one between a potential marital life of frustration and a hopeful chance of getting a better lady,but then,you gotta allay your fears.


PS: The fact dt she doesn't have a confidant aside you, i feel is solely responsible for her toxicity and hence a slim chance of changing. Unless you can fix that aspect of her life,the unthinkable might happen.
Re: Help by nuelsam: 10:06am On Oct 14, 2019
Ok op....to be honest with you, judging from your own side of the story actually...... I think theres either of these things involved , its either shes trying to manipulate you i.e emotional blackmail or she loves you sincerely and feeling insecure.
Op,forget about the fact that shes got zero social life, an introvert bla bla bla....... Some people are actually fantastic pretenders, she might be mad seeing u getting attention from other girls whereas shes enjoying attentions from guys behind your back as well.....if u wanna live long, trust no body..... No body at all......
On the otherside.... She might be doing all these for the love shes got for you, ive been with someone like her even tho i never asked her out lol....so i know how it feels......shes insecure, shes scared of loosing u hence the reason for her throwing tantrums everytime she suspects something.....tbh She was right when she tagged u a "sissy"......ffs u are supposed to be dominant, think on your feet... Call her bluff when u need to and stop all these pity pity bullshits.....tell her straightup, if she cant adhere... Youll walk away without looking back......i tell u bro her brain will reset.......why? Ive been through these and out.....shes cool now, shes changed.....even tho it was tough but she gave in atlas
Op u gats step up your game!
Re: Help by Nobody: 2:50pm On Oct 14, 2019
I would also like to hear her side of the story too. Did you cheat. A woman hardly acts that way without reason. What you both need is communication. Lay it all it out on the table, that you cannot be with someone who's insecure and controlling, she obviously doesn't trust you. Tell her to make up her mind if she trusts you in the relationship or not. Tell her the truth and make up your mind

You can't put your mental health at risk because she has her demons.
Selfkontrol:
Good morning everyone. I had to create a new account just to post this to stay anonymous. Forgive any grammatical error pls.


I have this gf of over 6 years.(note: there has been breakups between this period and even one that lasted for two years but we always come back) We started dating since my 200 level in school and there has been ups and downs between us. Quarrels, fights over all little things. She’s 24while I’m 28. Well towards final year we broke up because of a lot of things that happened. I want to be brief as possible.

I must say she’s a loving, supportive gf through out my university days but threw in the towel towards final year and started dating someone else because she couldn’t cope with my brokenness anymore. Well a lot contributed to that too. I was hurt and bitter for weeks but I didn’t blame her because she tried staying up to that moment. Even my friends where surprised becos she’s a beautiful girl. Al those period she never cheated. But to be frank, I have never seen an insecured, controlling, immature, obsessive, nagging gf all my life. I know I also had my shortcomings but this girl is worse. All our fights we had was not because I cheated but because she always assume I do. She always suspect. She’s too fast to conclude even when I’m so pure to the heart.

Fast forward to months later when things became well for me, for the fact she never cheated on me, and she really helped me during school days tho never stayed still the end. Well she was still young and immature. Being so kind and grateful, I rekindled the love we had becos we actually do love our selves. I don’t know if I was stupid doing that or just being grateful for all what we went through but one thing I know is I never regretted my decision.

Time has come and gone and we are still dating and also dealing with her nagging attitude and sometimes very rude when she’s angry. ( after school she went back to Lagos where she is based while I’m based in Warri) so I fell distance contributes too. But honestly I do ask my self if this is the girl I really want to wife because I actually love her and wants to wife her because she’s a good girl. But she nags a lot, too rude, verbally abusive, wants to be controlling. Because of this girl I never had any female friends in school because we where living together after some point. Well mostly because I couldn’t afford my own rent in full so we had to team up and rent a house. I was also isolated from my male friends.

I’m really in a big dilemma to be frank. Sometimes I’m scared if I can’t get a good girl that can be faithful and loyal as her because girls of nowadays are something else. Or I’m just stucked with her. I have actually not tried having a real gf durin our breakups because I wasn’t just ready for something new so I really don’t know. I’m confused as hell. . This girl don’t give me peace of mind sometimes. This moment she’s cool then next minute she’s something else. One incident that happened. I was on a video cal with her and an urgent call came in. I told her baby give me a few Sec to pick the call. After picking that call this girl flamed up and started giving me attitude. That I was supposed to finish that video cal with her before picking any call without even asking me who was calling. Well I’m just stating that to give you guys the kind of silly attitudes she exhibits.

The one that happened just of recent. Just last night. We didn’t speak the whole of Friday because we where avoiding each other so Saturday I called her but she gave me attitude. I left her. Later in the evening I said let me hangout with my friend. A female friend tho Out of the blues her calls came in and I picked. She asked me where I was I told her I went out. She said with who. I said must I go with someone if I want to go out like I can’t I go out alone. She started nagging and requested for a video call. I picked the call and showed her around to tell her I was alone but she never believed anything. She kept on nagging. Kept calling me repeatedly oo. See me case. Someone that didn’t have my time earlier. Well it got to a point I never picked her calls nor video calls anymore partly because the place was very noisy and because it’s embarrassing shouting on the phone and explaining to a gf in present of people. Well I have said enough.

Guys I need advice. I feel like breaking up with this girl. I don’t know if I’m just being selfish or making the right decision. I might look stupid to some people right now but all critics is allowed. I will share screenshots of the messages she sent me when I wasn’t picking her calls
Re: Help by Omar09(m): 4:43pm On Oct 14, 2019
Selfkontrol:
thanks for your observations. Using the f word for her it’s nothing. She has said worse things than that but i try not to take those things serious because I know people say a lot of things day don’t mean when angry. If my mom could tel me she regret paying my fees becos she had a bad dream about me and told me to go to church and fast and I refused lol. I know she never meant that but people say things when angry.

And for meeting new person better or not. I really don’t know. I just hate starting things afresh. This is like a girl that knows everything about me same with her. We have been together for 6 years. The love is there. Sometimes she’s just obsessed about me and when I don’t play to her beats she nags and say things. I’m really going to miss her to be honest if we break up because i know it’s hard getting a girl like that. But the same time how long can I cope with such behavior. I always feel she would change with time but how wrong or right can I be


Look man, I used to be like you. Thinking of starting over used to scare me. I used to think 'how can I meet a new person and start getting to know that person, can I actually do it?'. But when I saw what I was into wasn't healthy for me I had to start all over. It's easier than you think. Just tell yourself this, 'I'm gonna meet someone better, but peradventure I meet someone worse, I'm just gonna walk out n keep trying till I meet someone my taste'.

It's not a must you will end up with her.
Re: Help by SeunDobo(m): 5:44pm On Oct 15, 2019
Selfkontrol:
Good morning everyone. I had to create a new account just to post this to stay anonymous. Forgive any grammatical error pls.


I have this gf of over 6 years.(note: there has been breakups between this period and even one that lasted for two years but we always come back) We started dating since my 200 level in school and there has been ups and downs between us. Quarrels, fights over all little things. She’s 24while I’m 28. Well towards final year we broke up because of a lot of things that happened. I want to be brief as possible.

I must say she’s a loving, supportive gf through out my university days but threw in the towel towards final year and started dating someone else because she couldn’t cope with my brokenness anymore. Well a lot contributed to that too. I was hurt and bitter for weeks but I didn’t blame her because she tried staying up to that moment. Even my friends where surprised becos she’s a beautiful girl. Al those period she never cheated. But to be frank, I have never seen an insecured, controlling, immature, obsessive, nagging gf all my life. I know I also had my shortcomings but this girl is worse. All our fights we had was not because I cheated but because she always assume I do. She always suspect. She’s too fast to conclude even when I’m so pure to the heart.

Fast forward to months later when things became well for me, for the fact she never cheated on me, and she really helped me during school days tho never stayed still the end. Well she was still young and immature. Being so kind and grateful, I rekindled the love we had becos we actually do love our selves. I don’t know if I was stupid doing that or just being grateful for all what we went through but one thing I know is I never regretted my decision.

Time has come and gone and we are still dating and also dealing with her nagging attitude and sometimes very rude when she’s angry. ( after school she went back to Lagos where she is based while I’m based in Warri) so I fell distance contributes too. But honestly I do ask my self if this is the girl I really want to wife because I actually love her and wants to wife her because she’s a good girl. But she nags a lot, too rude, verbally abusive, wants to be controlling. Because of this girl I never had any female friends in school because we where living together after some point. Well mostly because I couldn’t afford my own rent in full so we had to team up and rent a house. I was also isolated from my male friends.

I’m really in a big dilemma to be frank. Sometimes I’m scared if I can’t get a good girl that can be faithful and loyal as her because girls of nowadays are something else. Or I’m just stucked with her. I have actually not tried having a real gf durin our breakups because I wasn’t just ready for something new so I really don’t know. I’m confused as hell. . This girl don’t give me peace of mind sometimes. This moment she’s cool then next minute she’s something else. One incident that happened. I was on a video cal with her and an urgent call came in. I told her baby give me a few Sec to pick the call. After picking that call this girl flamed up and started giving me attitude. That I was supposed to finish that video cal with her before picking any call without even asking me who was calling. Well I’m just stating that to give you guys the kind of silly attitudes she exhibits.

The one that happened just of recent. Just last night. We didn’t speak the whole of Friday because we where avoiding each other so Saturday I called her but she gave me attitude. I left her. Later in the evening I said let me hangout with my friend. A female friend tho Out of the blues her calls came in and I picked. She asked me where I was I told her I went out. She said with who. I said must I go with someone if I want to go out like I can’t I go out alone. She started nagging and requested for a video call. I picked the call and showed her around to tell her I was alone but she never believed anything. She kept on nagging. Kept calling me repeatedly oo. See me case. Someone that didn’t have my time earlier. Well it got to a point I never picked her calls nor video calls anymore partly because the place was very noisy and because it’s embarrassing shouting on the phone and explaining to a gf in present of people. Well I have said enough.

Guys I need advice. I feel like breaking up with this girl. I don’t know if I’m just being selfish or making the right decision. I might look stupid to some people right now but all critics is allowed. I will share screenshots of the messages she sent me when I wasn’t picking her calls

Foolish girl very rude dump the bitch ...I hate lady saying cuz the Dem meet .. stupid girl ... So rude

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