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Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Christafarian(m): 12:41pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
philip0906:Spot on! Of a truth, Nairaland is not what it used to be again. Most times, i just read Headlines and exit. The comments by most members for a while now are everything but interesting; they are either disturbing or misleading. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by oloriLFC(f): 12:42pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
mudiana:ghost ke! Lol |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Bbbwings: 12:42pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
Solsix:I tell you 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Thegamingorca(m): 12:43pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
AntiBrutus: You are an angel 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by ZiriMane(m): 12:43pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
ginaolo: If Mohammed cannot get to the mountain the mountain would come to Mohammed. You should simply explain ur fiancée fright in meeting people to your family members. It's more of a psychological disorder than just her being overtly shy, so you could employ the service of a psychologist to help her be free. if she doesn't like going out you could help to ease her tension by inviting the people you'd like to meet to ur house when she's around but not without letting them know how she fidgets around people she isn't familiar with. With time she would grow to be more accommodating |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by AloneTK: 12:44pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
ginaolo: Wait! How about guys who act same way. Being shy or reserved isn't a bad thing (as long as you are sure she isn't pretending). I think what matters most is how she acts when you guys are alone (together). I'm saying this bc I have similar trait also (gets pretty uncomfortable mingling with people) and I tend to appreciate and enjoy my time alone. Partying (including official presentation/social functions at workplace) isn't my thing and a few do wonder how comfortable I feel not being sociable. Understanding your spouse is KEY. Respect and appreciate her nature (provided it won't endanger people around you). You can encourage her but don't force bc it won't work. Matter-of-factly, don't attempt it because of how your siblings/family would feel about her. It's your duty at that point to make them understand, even as you hope for improvements in her nature. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Nobody: 12:45pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
ctleurocollege:I tell you. She just kept blabbering all over the thread like she's perfect. For Christ's sake, the lady in question hasn't committed any crime, she just found herself 'socially incapacitated' and can't help it. She just needs help to emancipate herself. 11 Likes |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Nobody: 12:45pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
ginaolo:No need to be worried bro, just leave her and let those who love such nature marry her so there won't be any problem in the future. Most times we think we can change people within few months of knowing them when we ourselves have been fighting a particular habit for ages. I am a guy OP and I have same issue as your girlfriend but that's doesn't mean we are bad, we are just people who depend on ourselves more in the past and you can't force us to change overnight or in few months. I don't like crowd, and my own crowd means than one extra person. Even the one person might not even hear my voice all through the conversation. This is same reason I don't like relationship. Ladies come closer and they get hurt by my silence because I don't understand how to express or reciprocate emotions. Sometimes I'm not proud of it but I don't allow things to get in my mind so I stay alone. Do you know my best friend was angry with me at first because I don't been go out? He sometimes would suggest we go swimming and I will tell him know, let's go out to eat, no, lets go out and watch film, never, etc. He got angry and asked me what gives me fun and I said being alone and reading or attempting a task. What I'm saying op is that you can't change someone this fast and you may pressure her to stay away from you. 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by lavenjcrown(m): 12:46pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
its all depend on where you reside. because same thing happened to me bro. my girl is from a middle wealth family, she was not use to going out and all sorts even worsen than yours. i am from a poor background, though we reside in same area with my family later decided to lost myself. i mean i left my father's house to stay alone, Oshodi to be precised, ghetto area where bad guys and girls lives. so one day, i decided to invite her over to my place, when she came, she saw the ghetto live. i kept inviting her over and over and before i knew it, she started blending up with the ghetto live. now as i'm typing here, she has over exposed than people she met in the ghetto. one thing i respect her for is that she doesn't cheat on do all sorts of rubbish you may think. so i believe location can expose that kind of person. just try and take her on a visit to all these area like Mushin, Ajegunle, Oshodi, Agege, and sooo. then you will think me later. ginaolo: |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Emotionss: 12:48pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
[color=#006600][/color] ginaolo: My kind of woman such women are scarce. Introverts are the best. @op if you no want her like that abeg forward her numbers to me. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Drsavage(m): 12:49pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
Feel your pain, man... I know social functions are a big part of our culture here in Nigeria, it's kind of hard for people like us (introverts), But i don't hesitate if it's family or quite important, I'll just put my on my "social face" and engage and socialize in the event to my ability and might end up having a good time. Judging from what you said your wife is "Phlegmatic", relax it's not a disease... It's another word for "introverted" and you can't change that, it's a sum of everything she experienced while growing up, From past experiences, life-lessons, background, environment and many more... There's not much you can do but i recommend you get her to read this book "5 SECOND RULE" it'll change her whole perspective about life and help her balance her quiet nature and her social life. You can download it online too at "www.pdfdrive.com" don't worry it's free ... I know it sounds crazy but this book helped me alot from coming out of my shell, i know it'll help her too. Good luck. |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by ehix89(m): 12:50pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
philip0906:still not good enough reason in my opinion, the OP might have exaggerated some points, constructive criticism is good enough but going full blown judgemental is going overboard. 7 Likes |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Emotionss: 12:51pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
[color=#006600][/color] Dande55: Are you truly the quiet type ? |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Coolgent(m): 12:51pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
ginaolo:Abeg if u dont love her they way she is then give me her number. Thats the type of Woman I need. If she is too social you will come here and accuse her for being wayward 1 Like |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Nobody: 12:51pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
destinyy23:She doesn't need any help, she's not bound or in any prison. She's one of the few people who can survive without others. My few friends try to fix me like I'm one damaged device just because I don't go out. I always feel going out doesn't add any value to my life which may be wrong but I don't force people to be like me. Another reason is that I've weaponized silence to the fact that I listen more. People get offended by my silence a lot and that even scares me to be in the midst of more than 3 people. 6 Likes |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by adedayourt(m): 12:51pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
ginaolo: She has explained to u that she has social anxiety, its ur place to help her out and cope with her person. If u cant drop her and somebody worthy will marry her with joy 6 Likes |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Nobody: 12:52pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
midnighter:You can do all these, great! but don't castigate someone else's inability to cope with them. There are other things she might be capable of that you wouldn't dare. Don't come acting like she has to be you, she can't be you and God helping her, she'd overcome this challenge. 8 Likes |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Jaymaestro(m): 12:53pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
phlegmatic007: I have always wondered if it's a downside to being a phlegmatic person .. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Emotionss: 12:55pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
[color=#006600][/color] ginaolo: Op are you looking for a wife or A TROPHY WIFE ? Because it's seems you are more concern about what people think than the wellbeing/happiness of your woman. Abeg free the lady joor make she meet better man that will love her the way she is. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by philip0906(m): 12:56pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
ehix89:There was no full blown judgement passed. Her posts were simply based on what the @op posted wether exaggerated or not. She did make very valid submissions and made the @op see things with the lens of reality. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Xisnin(m): 12:56pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
ginaolo:Stop wasting people's time here. Let her go in peace and stop wasting her time. You knew you were not compatible earlier on but you still went ahead with the relationship. To what end? 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Forumobserver12(m): 12:57pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
baby124: I have read your comments on this particular topicand I have come to conclusion that you are insensitive and MEAN..Jazzz. 12 Likes |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Emotionss: 12:58pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
[color=#006600][/color] lilmax: The op don't know the rear kind of woman he has. Something I have been looking for all my life. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by quietpoolsinn: 12:59pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
you accept her the way she is or let her go bro. That's who she is and you can't change her to fit your lifestyle. check my signature for a posh environment for your events, photoshoot and videoshoot.
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Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by SURElee(f): 12:59pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
Mr man, are you courting that woman? Are you just noticing that she is the reserved type? Now the scales have fallen off your eyes, you are here disturbing us with your lamentations more than the writer of the book of lamentations. She is who she is. Let her be. If she is an introvert who likes her space, let her be and allow her warm up to people at her own time and frequency. If she was overly over the place na you go still complain. As if you didn't know she was quiet from dating days. . If you like feed her and her weaknesses to your family for feasting. Instead of you to cover up for your fiancée's weaknesses you dey lament. If you want an extroverted woman go look for her and marry but don't come and complain she attends all outings, since is a party/outing /social gathering wife you want. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by philip0906(m): 12:59pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
destinyy23:Seems like you're also a sociopath like the @op's girl... |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Emotionss: 12:59pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
[color=#006600][/color] ginaolo: You just confirm it. You WANT A TROPHY WIFE. 5 Likes |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Alexrayz(m): 1:00pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
ginaolo: Lol she fit be spirit o |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Xisnin(m): 1:00pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
baby124:Those who think as the bold end up in miserable marriages because they were pretending to be who they are not. Personality is not something you can turn on and off. She is not broken, she is just different from you. You can't understand because you can only see from your own perspective. The OP is 100% to blame as he shouldn't have prolonged the relationship in the first place. 11 Likes |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Nobody: 1:00pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
kingkakaone:Lol. I understand. Presently, I live among people that play and shout too much and I'm always like, why would someone be this playful? Nevertheless, we're in a 'society', meaning socialization is crucial to our survival. Some are inherently sociable but for us that weren't made as such, we can still make conscious efforts to break out of our comfort zones. That said, don't let anyone intimidate you for having the personality you have, we can't all be the same. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by philip0906(m): 1:02pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
Forumobserver12:Absolutely nothing insensitive about her posts...Her posts were directed at the @op & not the girl. The @op needed hard truths which she dished out. It's left for the @op to choose to be a therapist or face reality that what he is dealing with is an extreme & they are not compatible. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife To Be Is Too Reserved by Whitetalker: 1:02pm On Oct 14, 2019 |
ginaolo:I know you don't like the situation but i bet you don't know what it feels like to live with social anxiety disorder. You will never be able to understand. Please try all you can to help her through it. There is therapy and medication that can reduce it. But do not leave her because of this. People with social anxiety disorder( if true) put a front of independence and capability of being alone but deep down their greatest fear is the loneliness they know this illness can bring. Good luck. 2 Likes |
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