O don't have anything to tell you
I'm igbo and I will marry an igbo girl
go ahead and marry your Yoruba gf

They're not tribalistic but realistic.

PhenomenalMorgan:

Nope, the bible says "obey your parents in the Lord" his parents are tribalistic, God is not!!

madridguy:
They're not tribalistic but realistic.

Tell me more. Is it that he will never succeed in life after marrying the Yoruba girl or he will not live more than 7 days.

Mogambo123:
My brother, I'm igbo too and my elder brother Married a Yoruba, and they have been living happily together for 20 years . I was surprised in 2017 when I saw a Yoruba woman in Abia State the slay mama was speaking igbo fluently meaning she mostly have lived in the east for a long time, even though she's from Ondo State. Nna that aunty love her igbo husband with a passion.

My dear if you and your love understands that cultural issues will arise and be ready to battle it together please go ahead . I will tell you one thing for sure REAL LOVE IS DIFFICULT TO COME BY If you love this girl please be her knight in shining armour.

I know a guy whose girlfriend took in , she's Yoruba the guy is igbo, my dear the guy's family disowned him, they even wrestled away from him the house he built and he became an outcast , I'm one of those that encouraged him to go ahead with the wedding , even as I speak I still help them out any little way I can. I'm so happy their love is waxing strong, with 2 kids to crown it.

You already have a good idea , please stay away from them for as long as you can, if they don't come to their senses so be it , it's hard to say but am sorry , igbos are the most tribalistic people in Nigeria if you minus religion. If they reject you your Yoruba in-laws will accept you , I have seen that happen a lot. The most liberal in the whole country.

Just make sure this girl loves you that's all.

Still wondering why this thing is common with Igbos, so many promising relationship has been spoilt just because of the difference in tribes. Is it inadequate education or what.

madridguy:
As a child of God, it is good to always listen to your parent.

listen to ur parents nd later blame them top for ur mistakes right.

Nobody will tell me what to do, especially when it comes to my woman....

Lalasticlala, seun, you might have a thing or two to tell me.

Ryan03:
are you willing to become the Peter (of p'square) in your family? If you can handle the pressure then carry go but if you can't, hmmmm

Like I said before, I don't care whatsoever my family would say, in other to dissuade me from marrying her, but I know the hatred that will come with my decision and I don't want the innocent girl to suffer rejection and isolation from my people.

madridguy:
As a child of God, it is good to always listen to your parent.

Maddo!

How far friend?

Lamanii22:



Maddo!

Palace32:
My brother you can say that again!!! I even forgot to add that we are in the South West part of the Country. All my parent own was achieved in a Yoruba state. Yet they don't want any of their children to marry from the South West. I'm sure if I get married to her, I will be isolated in my family but I don't give a damn about it. My love is worth the stress.

You really love this lady gaan oo...

My parents discussed this with me last week about marrying someone who is not related to your tribe, they told me they can't allow me marry a non Yoruba lady. In my mind i was like these people don't know anything sha.if I should bring a girl home and they reject her for me nah to abscond with her .. No one can dictate who i am to marry you truly love her I don't see any reason why you shouldn't go ahead with the marriage..

Lamanii22:



You really love this lady gaan oo...

True love is rare to find

tunjilee003:
My parents discussed this with me last week about marrying someone who is not related to your tribe, they told me they can't allow me marry a non Yoruba lady. In my mind i was like these people don't know anything sha.if I should bring a girl home and they reject her for me nah to abscond with her .. No one can dictate who i am to marry you truly love her I don't see any reason why you shouldn't go ahead with the marriage..

Why are our parent this tribalistic?

Mogambo123:
My brother, I'm igbo too and my elder brother Married a Yoruba, and they have been living happily together for 20 years . I was surprised in 2017 when I saw a Yoruba woman in Abia State the slay mama was speaking igbo fluently meaning she mostly have lived in the east for a long time, even though she's from Ondo State. Nna that aunty love her igbo husband with a passion.

My dear if you and your love understands that cultural issues will arise and be ready to battle it together please go ahead . I will tell you one thing for sure REAL LOVE IS DIFFICULT TO COME BY If you love this girl please be her knight in shining armour.

I know a guy whose girlfriend took in , she's Yoruba the guy is igbo, my dear the guy's family disowned him, they even wrestled away from him the house he built and he became an outcast , I'm one of those that encouraged him to go ahead with the wedding , even as I speak I still help them out any little way I can. I'm so happy their love is waxing strong, with 2 kids to crown it.

You already have a good idea , please stay away from them for as long as you can, if they don't come to their senses so be it , it's hard to say but am sorry , igbos are the most tribalistic people in Nigeria if you minus religion. If they reject you your Yoruba in-laws will accept you , I have seen that happen a lot. The most liberal in the whole country.

Just make sure this girl loves you that's all.

this is d first tym ever i wil b hearing good tin about yoruba from igbo man.. guy am surprised.

OlawaleBammie:



this is d first tym ever i wil b hearing good tin about yoruba from igbo man.. guy am surprised.

Lol, the whole tribal thing is mostly online sha, igbos and Yorubas, are coexisting, doing business , intermarrying everywhere.

The tribal ones in both tribes are never do wells that thinks Nigeria is the cause of their problems .

dottozil:


Still wondering why this thing is common with Igbos, so many promising relationship has been spoilt just because of the difference in tribes. Is it inadequate education or what.

Like someone rightly mentioned , they are just distrusting since after the war . But my argument is, at what point exactly do they expect to move on for their own sanity . They are expending energy grudging. Same thing I tell black Americans , leave racism crusade and move on the world has left you behind.

madridguy:
As a child of God, it is good to always listen to your parent.

Depends on the intellect of the parents, you can't tell an intelligent person to take a decision that is pointless to him.

madridguy:
As a child of God, it is good to always listen to your parent.

At what age ?

Palace32:
They are hell bent on no Yoruba gf in their family. I'm even tempted to run far away from them.. Maybe in 5-10 years time, they would not have any choice than to accept her into the family. It's just so sick that I can't even marry my fellow Nigerian

Go ahead and marry who you want to marry.

Many destinies are attached to marrying the right spouse.

Don't derail your destiny by listening to fables.

Bro...if you are pretty social... and have friends from abroad.... show up with a foreigner as your 'friend'.... they will ask if it's your gf... let them know she badly wants to be.... she's even suggesting marriage ... and talking about us living in the US..... putting aside her family is well off and she has her own Benz and all that....and more importantly she is a very very nice person.... she wouldn't understand that you can't marry her because she is not Igbo... that you still don't know how to tell her....but.... you will have to...sooner or later.
Your parents... what you figure they'll say in response??

I really wonder where you hail from. Why would you call someone's parents useless? What are you trying to prove? You need to caution the way you express your views. This is not acceptable in a sane forum. Please tender an apology.

EmptyCoconutHead:
igbo parents are very useless.
the most selfish and arrogant tribe.
the best thing is to us to give them their biafra with 4 states and exclude Anambra and let them leave.
very insensitive set of people

Palace32:
Hello fellow Nairalanders.

I have a very strong issue bothering my mind, there is this lady I'm in love with, the love is very mutual as she is also madly in love with me too. She's everything I want in a woman and I am planning on getting married and settling down with her next year.

The issue is that, I am Igbo but my girlfriend Yoruba. Personally, I have no issue with that, she doesn't too but my parent does. This past week, mum overheard me speaking to her on the phone in Yoruba language and with the way I sounded over the phone, she knew we were dating. Immediately I ended the call with my girlfriend, my mum asked if that was my gf I just finished speaking yoruba to on the phone, I nodded in affirmation, mum said it's over her dead body will I marry a Yoruba girl, she was warning me when my Dad entered, my Dad being a Pastor, I thought he would reason with me and see reason from my perspective, but instead, he supported my mother.

They both gave me reasons why the idea of me marrying my Yoruba gf is dead on arrival. One of it is how my gf will cope anytime we travel to our home town and she's invited to the Igbo women meetings, will she be hired an interpreter to interprete bits by bits whatsoever they are saying? Or will she forced them to speak English instead of the official igbo language being spoken at meeting?

Another reason they both gave me is that, no one in our lineage has married to anyone who is not igbo, both from my Paternal or Maternal side and I won't be the first. My Dad once said that if eventually I marry my Yoruba gf, I will forget my roots, I won't be coming home regularly and with time, she will force me not to come home at all.. and so on and so forth.

It's so glaring that my parent are TRIBALISTIC. There is no two ways about it.

I really love this girl, she's very decent. Her mum is aware we are dating and it seems there won't be any problem or issue from my gf's family side. I really want to marry her as she's my ideal type of woman, however, leaving her can be mentally and emotionally damaging to us.

How do I cope with my tribalistic parent? How do I convince them that my love for her knows no boundaries, tribe or race? Is there anything my parent are seeing that is still blind to me?

I'm in dire need for mature minded advice.

Thanks in anticipation

They are not tribalistic.


Tell your girlfriend that you want to move down to the east to reside permanently. That you have gotten a job there. After telling her that, also tell her that you would love her to move down with you. Whatever her reactions are and her decisions are, mention me, then I will be able to advice you.

As Africans and most importantly Nigerians and then much more importantly, IGBO’S, one of the reasons why we marry, I mean one of the most important reason is to procreate , that is to have children that will bear our names, takes over from where we stopped and then take care of us when we get older. That said.


We travel also to explore and look for better options for a better life. However, we tend to return home to our roots afterwards and of course with our children and wives too.


You had the opportunity to live in the western part of naija which exposed you to different tribes and most importantly the yorubas.

They are good people , they have lovely women too. But your parents fears are.


Will she be comfortable to always come down to the east with you and the kids? I mean, she doesn’t know anyone there, her family and friends and associates are mostly in the Yoruba land.

I will give you an example , I live in South Africa. There are many Nigerian men living here, most of them are so rich and well to do, old enough to get married. But they are not marrying South African women, trust me, these women are sexy, beautiful and well endowed. But one thing with them is, they can’t leave SA. Now we also know that the Nigerian men living in SA are only there to make money and then return home some day. Someone will be asking why these men only date those SA women and don’t marry them. Why would you marry a woman who is never willing to come live with you in Nigeria when you decides to retire ? What is the need of having kids that would never know where their father comes from?

You see, these women have their lives revolving around SA, families, friends, culture, associates . That they are not ready to leave for a new country.

Same thing is applicable to Inter tribal marriages in Nigeria.

How many Igbo men married to Yoruba or Hausa women lives in the east?

How many Yoruba or Hausa women married to IGBO men live in the south east ?

If you can answer these questions, then you will know why IGBO parents are always apprehensive about their wards getting married to other tribes especially when they do not live in the east.




Op tell your girlfriend that both of you are moving to the east to reside permanently and watch her reactions.

Palace32:


True love is rare to find

True..

Lakkyjay:
I really wonder where you hail from. Why would you call someone's parents useless? What are you trying to prove? You need to caution the way you express your views. This is not acceptable in a sane forum. Please tender an apology.

shut up.
oh another igbo tribalistic dumb head spotted.
gbafuooo

PhenomenalMorgan:

Nope, the bible says "obey your parents in the Lord" his parents are tribalistic, God is not!!

oga some parents have made their children to marry the wrong person marry who you love because your parents will not live with you both when they are alive and they are not.

The Problem you are facing now isn't much of a big deal,ask me why¿ Because you haven't show em your through colour on deciding what you want and what's best for you about your future plan with your gf. to cut it short, what i am trying to say is;you need to be stubborn. you aren't a kid anymore,they can't decide for you.
i know they might have threaten you if you go ahead with your own plan. why didn't you ask your dad as he's a pastor to quote a passage in the bible where a man must marry his beloved wife from the same tribe as he is.
This is a chance for you to prove to your gf that love can make you do anything by not following your parent's tribalistic advice ,make her feel she was not with the wrong guy all along, prove it to them that you are going to marry her no matter what they say and even if it's for them not to attend your wedding ceremony,let it be. But you will be shock they will be the first person at your wedding ceremony.
(Davido Said to Chioma that if it's for him to be in jail,he would do it)
So Have gotta be a man, stop slacking out and act fast.
dont be scared of talking to your gf on the phone when your parent is around, let them know that you have liberty and nothing will stop ya.
if you loose this opportunity you loose it forever

Palace32:
Like I said before, I don't care whatsoever my family would say, in other to dissuade me from marrying her, but I know the hatred that will come with my decision and I don't want the innocent girl to suffer rejection and isolation from my people.

Be running your mouth anyhow here insulting your parents, when the trouble comes, don’t come here to disturb us. Before you take a final decision, there are some things to consider. Is the girl in question influenced by her parents? I mean is she the type that is not ready to disobey her parents when it comes to things about you both? ... Has your parent ever stood against your decision in anyway except this marriage issue? ... The way you’re tapping about love hmmm, make I no talk. But as a man, marry a woman that loves and respect you more than you do.

Mogambo123:
Like someone rightly mentioned , they are just distrusting since after the war . But my argument is, at what point exactly do they expect to move on for their own sanity . They are expending energy grudging. Same thing I tell black Americans , leave racism crusade and move on the world has left you behind.

This comment shows that you’re not Igbo as you claimed, we know your type but continue.

Thanks for your imputs. I appreciate you all