correctguy0900:


Na only u get sense.
So did u ask if she's a virgin?

And why suddenly now forming a virgin if she no more a virgin? Or is something terribly wrong with her puzzy?

It's risky. U have to check out what's wrong or if it's actually a principle.

Who like risky? The move is risky

I keep saying this "No Sex Before Marriage" is a Huge Scam on its Own...but...some Illiterates lack adequate exposure will never accept/see the Logic behind the saying.

In a serious relationship that may eventually lead to Marriage...3 things are absolutely Fundamental,...one is Mental Compatibility (the two parties must be on the same mental wave length,..where one partner is thinking forward,the other partner is also on the same page and not thinking backwards),....another is Fundamental one is COMMUNICATION,very Vital...the last is SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY,...yes you heard me Clearly...Sexual Compatibility is extremely important in a serious relationship that may lead to Marriage...what if one of the partner has a High Sexual Libido and the other has a low Libido....and the come to an agreement on the "No sex till Marriage rubbish"...only for them to realize later on that the are not sexually compatible...where one party is ready to have sex and the other party is almost never in the mood...isn't that a Signed and approved License to go and Cheat?,

I can never deceive myself with that "no sex till Marriage bullshit"....I must make sure and determine we are sexually compatible before taking any major decision.

Sirvingeo:
op you got a good wife. She has the fear of God that is why she wants you to do the church wedding which depicts God's involvement. You better don't loose a good woman because of sex o. I promise you a lady that could go this far for God will never cheat on you after wedding .

I wish you happy marriage life and I pray I get a godly wife like her. Amen!!!

So traditional marriage is not God involvement?

Dearlord:
I love your assertion and analysis.

Thank you dear

Nawa oooo,the way some Christians carry this Christianity issue for head eh! Una go soon collect work from angel hand,smh white wedding isn't a must sef,a aunt of mine did traditional wedding, wen she came back for the white wedding she already has a child,Nawa o!

Before God you're already married, all the rest are imported from the whites. Your wife is stubborn and this will be a serious problem for you, some people call it standards but someday you'll wish you saw things clearly before you chuck head. Marriage is for life, and your wife is playing the take what ever you see after marriage game. But the question is, is it worth it? That she's a Virgin doesn't mean the pvssy will be tight oh! If she can't pleasure you, or gives you conditional sex can you take it? I know women who when they are fasting they don't let their husband touch them. I don't wish to be you OP, my bae gives me any style I want any time so I can quickly go to work after easing the tension. No time for nonsense.

Freehuman:





Some men are really cool with anything. When I'm planning to have two kids and at least a male child before marriage, a man lives under the same roof with the woman he legally married and consumation of the marriage is yet to happen.

Everyone here is talking about virginity and not fertility. She may even be a virgin and deep down knows she is not fertile. Over 1000 Nigerian girls(teenagers) suffer from ovarian cyst yearly and most times treatment causes damage to their reproductive system. That's just one disease and there are others.

Marrying in a church can prevent divorce when the male partner wants it immediately on grounds of fertility of the Female. I think a judge will not grant such divorce until the marriage has broken down irretrievably.

From a legal point of view, marrying in a church which is registered under the law as a valid place of celebration of marriage means that the couples contracted statutory marriage ( under the marriage ACT). This means if the marriage has not broken down irretrievably and you intend to divorce her on grounds of infertility the court may not grant a decree nicee. If the man proceeds to dissolve the marriage without a grant by the court , she can sue him for bigamy. It may take up to 5 years before you begin to abuse her and make the marriage break down irretrievably.

An average religious bigot is likely to believe that if she adheres to such extreme religious doctrines (abstinence from sex until a church wedding) her infertility may be cured.

I know my reason is abstract but it must not be ruled out.

infertility is a ground for annulment, especially if the partner was unaware before marriage.

A marriage is a contract, if I am entering into a contract for the purpose of creating kids, and it turns out this purpose cannot be fulfilled, then it makes the contract void.

This is actually crazy sha. OP why is the date between your traditional marriage and church marriage too far in between..
I can't see any problems here cos she told you beforehand her conditions and you've successfully kept your part till now, why not fast track the church wedding so you can have her all to yourself.
You knew she's born again so of course the church wedding would be more important to her.
I'm even surprised she agreed to move in with you cos that's definitely gonna cause some friction since you had your own agenda/timetable to the no sex thing.
For those saying if she isn't a virgin.........its all B.S cos everyone is entitled to second chances and she's exercising her discretion as per her beliefs.
My advice fast track your white wedding, get it over with and wife her cos you're better off with a woman with some spiritual background than any other species as they come. Good luck

DaddyRochie1642:
I keep saying this "No Sex Before Marriage" is a Huge Scam on its Own...but...some Illiterates lack adequate exposure will never accept/see the Logic behind the saying.

In a serious relationship that may eventually lead to Marriage...3 things are absolutely Fundamental,...one is Mental Compatibility (the two parties must be on the same mental wave length,..where one partner is thinking forward,the other partner is also on the same page and not thinking backwards),....another is Fundamental one is COMMUNICATION,very Vital...the last is SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY,...yes you heard me Clearly...Sexual Compatibility is extremely important in a serious relationship that may lead to Marriage...what if one of the partner has a High Sexual Libido and the other has a low Libido....and the come to an agreement on the "No sex till Marriage rubbish"...only for them to realize later on that the are not sexually compatible...where one party is ready to have sex and the other party is almost never in the mood...isn't that a Signed and approved License to go and Cheat?,

I can never deceive myself with that "no sex till Marriage bullshit"....I must make sure and determine we are sexually compatible before taking any major decision.

Better person... Nice talk. When you love each other sex is nothing...

OKOATA:
Bro if you really want a solution just tell her you want to take her for a virginity test, if she's a virgin then you can just chill till the white wedding thing. If she's saying no I am not going for a virginity test then she's a bloody liar.

u really made point here. Kudos

kevotek1000:

So traditional marriage is not God involvement?

leave black people and their slave mentality.

Which synagogue did Jacob go, to marry his wives? No be when their papa give the guy wife, den consumate? Once your father gives you away and gives his blessing, that is the koko. Most churches will not even wed you if you haven't done the traditional marriage

Eroms4life17:

My brother nothing drink panadol for another man headache. Yes it's true what u said with the trad as the most recognized but also the key to a lasting relationship is compromise. This marriage is too young for all this agidi agidi up and down. There's no general formula to this thing. Some ladies have sex on first date but this one said till marriage and she specified what she wanted and he okayed it. So if it was you, u will cancel the whole marriage because of this? Are u getting married because of sex? Let's be reasonable and matured here. This is a testament to know if the marriage will last or not

she too shld compromise for what we all knw is right. Why shld he compromise for what we all knw is wrong. Are we getting married because of white gown and her friends? She shld grow up and quit this rubbish. If not anything the man doesn't give her in the marriage she will withhold sex from him.

Guest007:
If you're Christian then the church is the REAL marriage, the traditional isn't Christian. She's a born again so how does tradition become more important than her church?

Op is the problem.

your joking right...
cause if you're not then this is one most stupid statements have seen..
in you're analogy people that just stick with traditional marriage are not married in the sight of God..

Bros i will b a bit blunt but if i were in ur shoe, all am going to do is fastforward the white wedding but if after everything she turn out not being a virgin i will end the marriage and am not in anyway saying virginity is crateria for marriage but hidding under that deceit for this long is supposedly unforgivable 4 me o

correctguy0900:


Na only u get sense.
So did u ask if she's a virgin?

And why suddenly now forming a virgin if she no more a virgin? Or is something terribly wrong with her puzzy?

It's risky. U have to check out what's wrong or if it's actually a principle.

You talking, you get sense?

He wrote that she was a virgin in the OP, if you care to read something before quoting

This is not even about virginity anyhow. This is about him deceiving her that he was okay with her religious convictions

Sirvingeo:
op you got a good wife. She has the fear of God that is why she wants you to do the church wedding which depicts God's involvement. You better don't loose a good woman because of sex o. I promise you a lady that could go this far for God will never cheat on you after wedding .

I wish you happy marriage life and I pray I get a godly wife like her. Amen!!!

stop lying God never said marry in church, marrying in church is cultural that was started, by people it has nothing to with God, Marrying before God means true to yourself and committed to God that i shall be faithful to the partner you have chosen and neither does a pastor bless your marriage its just ceremonial thing to do from a pastor, you bless your own marriage by being faithful to each other and doing good on to others

After white wedding and OP discovers he just married a borrow pit.

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

What? You can't find genuine men of God or pastor on nairaland. They don't have such time... I guess your wife is scared of your cassava...

Dollarseeker:
Do u know whether she told God that if he has sex before white wedding, she should die?

now this is a classical case of blackmailing.if she actually took such oath wot made u think she wouldn't av told d husband?

It's not a white wedding, it's a church wedding
if she believes in the God that she worships in a church then I don't see why she should be coerced into doing otherwise besides she gave the OP due notice, he cannot say he didn't know or expect these developments.

Lamanii22:



Firstly... White wedding is a traditional wedding for the whites... I don't know why we like copying 'em... As far as I know... You guys are already married... Or you can fix the white wedding ASAP... Although there's nothing wrong if you both have sex now.. God cannot be angry... All these religious people gaan sef...

igwegeorgiano:
not at all. I did not considered her virginity but cos she has proved beyond doubts to be the woman I wanted but with this over righteous attitude and not taking into cognisance that I have paid her bride price and other traditional obligations is what I don't understand

You have no honour. You have no respect for her nor for God. You gave her your word! And those words mean absolutely nothing to you.

Brother, I am angry. Two, I am ashamed on your behalf.

You agreed to wait till wedding night and now you are shifting goal posts, playing the victim and manipulating and blackmailing and guilt tripping her just so you can have your way.

This case is not about whether you are legally married or not already or if she is a virgin or not, so don't try to bamboozle us with extraneous materials here as someone like me will call you out on your BS. This issue is about an agreement to wait and a promise not kept.

And the guilty party is YOU.

You see the way you do one thing is the way you do so many things. If I were her, I will begin to have serious doubts about your character and wonder if I've made a huge mistake.

Naansense and manipulation!

Fuckgovt:
she too shld compromise for what we all knw is right. Why shld he compromise for what we all knw is wrong. Are we getting married because of white gown and her friends? She shld grow up and quit this rubbish. If not anything the man doesn't give her in the marriage she will withhold sex from him.

My brother, there's no time to argue on this matter. Let everyone do what they believe is right. I have offered a piece of my advice to the guy in question. Even the kind of harsh words u use and way u dey vex up and down for matter when nor concern u tells me that u will call off everything if it was you. Life is not that complicated. We just complicate things with our own hands.

safarigirl:
infertility is a ground for annulment, especially if the partner was unaware before marriage.

A marriage is a contract, if I am entering into a contract for the purpose of creating kids, and it turns out this purpose cannot be fulfilled, then it makes the contract void.

The marriage ACT applicable in Nigeria provides for only one ground and that is where the marriage has broken down irretrievably. Marriage under the Act is presumed to be monogamous and thus inability to consumate is a criteria that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. This means a court will dissolve the marriage where the man is impotent (cannot penetrate or doesn't have an erection) and would not dissolve if he can consumate yet has a low sperm count. Infertility of a woman is not a ground for divorce.

Please read up sections 15(1)&(2) and 16 of the Matrimonial causes Act. The grounds are stated expressly and the supreme Court has held that Its provisions are literal.

Please provide evidence if you argue otherwise.

Guest007:


She is a Christian. Whether you wear white or you wear blue makes no difference. The church is different to your African tradition. She made herself very very clear and the only one with stories that touch, is op...

Let her keep her virginity and you can go and collect your money and let us rest...

OP is a man of sex masquerading as a man of God to land a virgin. We heard

She probably doing worst than those that have lost their virginity. Virginity is nothing anymore, she been stingy to her husband here.

Lol.. You know this is the worst kind of hypocrisy, when you want to get married if you aren't already, this B.S that you spewed below, is it what you're gonna do ? lemme answer for you. No. don't advise someone what you won't do yourself and by the way if you got a lawyer friend ask them to explain to you the kind of marriage that the law recognizes in Nigeria. it will broaden your mind. Goodluck

ZIMDRILL:



stop lying God never said marry in church, marrying in church is cultural that was started, by people it has nothing to with God, Marrying before God means true to yourself and committed to God that i shall be faithful to the partner you have chosen and neither does a pastor bless your marriage its just ceremonial thing to do from a pastor, you bless your own marriage by being faithful to each other and doing good on to others

scaramucci:
So instead of you to fast track the wedding to the next available Saturday in order to get to shift her pant you decided to put it on hold, right?

No mind the OP, common sense says hasten the wedding day , pussy way go tire u, am into a no sex before marriage relationship and am fine with it, am in it cos of my religious beliefs nothing else

marvin905:





your joking right...
cause if you're not then this is one most stupid statements have seen..
in you're analogy people that just stick with traditional marriage are not married in the sight of God..

I'm neither xtain nor Nigerian but common sense dictates that xtains marry in a church or by a pastor of some sort... I don't understand this mixture of culture, traditions, and religion. They are 2 different things.




The end story is this girl said no sex before marriage and that means a church marriage FOR HER

https://www.0.freebasics.com/https/www.nairaland.com/5502110/problem-first-school-leaving-certificate?

Please did anybody have an idea on how to change my name on my first school leaving certificate FSLC and junior weac? As for national ID I will figure it out cuz in that nim office the only thing they care about is money. Plz this is very important and urgent. Wanted to apply for international passport but I have to pulse because I fear my different name will deeply affect me in many ways.


Reason for changing my name.
I was born Christian but want to convert to Islam and I want my certs to have my Islamic names on it else it will affect me badly.

Plz advise.

udemzyudex:
Which spiritual implication are you talking about?

For some people its important to take the sacred vows in accordance with their church, with an ordained priest or anointed pastor. To offer themselves and their marriage at the altar and to promise to serve God with that marriage, in a religious context. If you go to church to pray normally, to ask for things, to celebrate religious festivals then it would also make sense to celebrate finding your life partner in that church

Some people need their own church members to serve as witnesses... the church is their family and the church family need to observe the union and enjoin to help the couple to keep it strong and healthy

A Christian marriage is also an act of worship in itself so they would like to consecrate their union in a religious context. Just like you go to church to pray but it doesnt mean you dont also worship at home, at school, on the road, etc. This is a sign that you have invited God into your marriage from the beginning. Location matters

Thats not to say that a traditional marriage is just for heathens, but the emphasis is more on other things even though prayers are still offered at the trad wedding ceremony. But a church wedding helps to contextualise the relationship and see it in a different way

The spiritual implication is that you have celebrated yourself, your partner and your union in God's presence which carries a blessing. On the day particular verses from the Bible will be read and explained to you, the wisdom of which you will carry for the rest of your life. You have established yourselves as a wedded couple and a new unit in the church body. The celebration itself, though its imported, has ancient symbolism rooted in Christian practice. This is why its important to a lot of people

kevotek1000:

She probably doing worst than those that have lost their virginity. Virginity is nothing anymore, she been stingy to her husband here.

It's nothing but here we are X pages in and still discussing her virginity and his money