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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding (81111 Views)
Wife Insists On Having Separate Bedrooms After Wedding / MARTIAL BED: My Wife Says No Sex Until Her Mother Leaves Our House. / My Wife Says No Sex Until Her Mother Leaves Our House. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Mommadd(f): 4:50am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Nairaland is not just the place to seek some kind of advice from as it will leave you more confused at the end end of the day. The first issue I see here is you both that have same belief, note I do not mean you both are not Christians, while your wife is a born again christian who believes in the chastity of marriage, you on the other hand are probably just someone who goes to church and do not take Christian doctrines seriously, the Bible said "marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled". For someone who truly knows God and understand the scriptures, until your marriage is sealed in God's presence, you are not yet married. My advice is, if u know you cannot continue to respect her faith in God, is better to find someone who does not see anything wrong with sex before marriage so she can also go to someone who believes exactly what she believes in. Mind you, if this is not sorted out properly and you go ahead with the wedding, issues like this will continue to arise, so is better you both handle it to your satisfaction before going ahead. The singular fact that she told you from the very beginning should have made calm down Truth is, not every girl who said am a virgin is scam at the end of the day. 6 Likes |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Nobody: 4:53am On Oct 31, 2019 |
peepydelano: Very correct! I hope he goes for the true advice here. This place is full of deadly counsels! At times, I would want to cry for what our youths believe this days. 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by SirVintageCock: 4:53am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Op why are you acting like a swindler? You both struck a deal and you want to back out the last minute. People like you don't last in relationships and businesses. If you continue to force or blackmail her into submission, she may call off the wedding and if you are already wedded, I will give it 12 months for dissolution because she will resent you no matter what the Bible says about forgiveness It is quite bafling that you saw other women that you are on the same pedestal, people who wouldn't bait an eyelid before compromising their standard. You left them to get yorked with a principled personality and you are complaining. Please, kindly respect people that stand by their words without compromise. They are rare. For the kids asking about virginity and sh!ts, how shallow minded you lots are. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Judybash93(m): 4:55am On Oct 31, 2019 |
farady: They are already married. 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by dochenaj: 4:57am On Oct 31, 2019 |
igwegeorgiano:I can't believe you cannot wait for few months till the church wedding is done. Your wife is a virgin and that is a goldmine in the society today, appreciate that. If you want to have a great sexual experience with your wife for the rest of your life, wait for the wedding night. If you coax her into doing it earlier it is tantamount to rape and she will never enjoy sex with you ever again. Do you want that? Though I blame your wife for agreeing to marry someone that did not rigidly share her biblical views on premarital sex. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by femi4: 4:58am On Oct 31, 2019 |
midnighter:seconded |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Euhedral(f): 5:05am On Oct 31, 2019 |
My wedding is in the next two weeks. I have always believe in no sex before marriage in all my relationships and I tell the guys very early and even tell them to leave if they feel they can't. My fiance respects that and to cut the long story short, we both can't wait for next 2 weeks to devour ourselves. Except there's something fishy in her character, you are joking with a good woman there guy. I am much more afraid for you than I am for her. She was plain with you from the beginning but you weren't with her. She should be the one coming here. Don't make the lady feel she has made a mistake by marrying you please. 6 Likes |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by APOPTOSIS: 5:07am On Oct 31, 2019 |
The way AFRICANS denigrate their Traditional Institutions is second to none... ONE DAY these stupid set of AFRICANS will wake up only to realise that WHITE WEDDING is someone's Traditional Wedding 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by 1030(m): 5:08am On Oct 31, 2019 |
“She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with”—-You are aware of this so why complaining? “When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious”—You agreed to her terms and conditions so you must play by the rules. I will advise that you go ahead with the wedding if you truly loves her, trust me you will get tired of sex after sometime because wedding is more than just a sex. Don’t allow sex to create a gap between you and her at this early stage because it will deprive you of knowing her better.Goodluck 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by deephy(m): 5:08am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Africa and our mentality na only God go help us. U would hv corrected that notion right from day one by telling ur woman that once traditional marriage is done, both of you becomes husband and wife, I don't think it's a religious thing, I think it's a mind set. The whites don't do traditional marriage, it's either court marriage or church wedding. But we do traditional marriage and we still copy them by doubling with church marriage. In all these, the most important thing is the exchange of marital vows btw the couple before both parents and available friends. That's my view on it. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Polyurethane: 5:13am On Oct 31, 2019 |
APOPTOSIS: deephy: Tradition my foot. The girl is a good Christian, it's hard to see someone like her this days, God only recognize White Wedding, Traditional Wedding is not necessary in Christendom. The Husband should have done the White Wedding first, he's foolish. The WHITE GOWN is the symbol of virgin, purity. The woman is not married as far as God is concern |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by afolagbe: 5:14am On Oct 31, 2019 |
I will tell you from my experience. This is what my wife told me when we first met and agreed to go into marriage but I agreed with her simply because of LOVE (No sex until our wedding night) but guess what I'M ENJOYING MY MARRIAGE till today. 1. She told you she want this kind of marriage before sex then if you are not ok with her you should have walk away before now. 2. If you truly love your wife you won't be fighting or put the wedding on hold because of sex (true love is missing here). 3. You need to see her decision/principle as a sacrifice you need to make to be her husband. 4. Think beyond sex aspect in marriage, think what you can gain from her that is more than sex, think about the qualities you like about her. 5. Seek counselling from Marriage Counselors and not on social media because some comments here will mislead you. Best of luck husband-wife... 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Kapapa: 5:15am On Oct 31, 2019 |
I wonder if she really love this guy, if she does she should not be rigid with such decision. I see a situation where she will take a decision in the house and no body will bend her. You don't want pre marital sex but has she not commitingany other sin since then. The truth remains that the lady in question is her wife fully married. As far as the pride price has been paid. She has no right to refuse him sex. By the way is white wedding in the Bible simply white man invention but traditional marriage is the Bible. The lady is stubborn,, rigid. |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Cjhans: 5:18am On Oct 31, 2019 |
It's no big deal my brother, my wife also did same. I quickly fixed my church wedding and today, I'm enjoying the fruit of my labour. Go ahead and fix hour date as quickly as possible. 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by afolagbe: 5:19am On Oct 31, 2019 |
.... |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Kapapa: 5:26am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Cjhans: It's no big deal my brother, my wife also did same. I quickly fixed my church wedding and today, I'm enjoying the fruit of my labour. Go ahead and fix hour date as quickly as possible. So what makes a good wife is not having sex. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Richiepeecox(m): 5:26am On Oct 31, 2019 |
The only marriage recognized by God is the traditional marriage,boldly written in the Bible.Well, the only mistake you made was by accepting her decision.This should be a lesson to all.Don't say yes when you don't mean it.Let your yes be yes and no be no.Don't force her for sex.My candid advise is to go to the registry, Let her rent a wedding gown, invite some church members, family and friends to reduce cost.After the registry,a small get together, that's all ! After that, go for thanks giving in your church for the pastors and congregaion to bless you.Some women just like the church wedding to show off,waste money etc.Most importantly, discuss that with her dad to convince her. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Kapapa: 5:27am On Oct 31, 2019 |
As far as I know white wedding is not in the Bible rather traditional marriage. A woman should not be rigid this way in fact she may give the guy time table for sex 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by lincs25(m): 5:29am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Guy, you no try. A man you suppose to make a decision, I was in a similar mess. One day I told the girl that I have starved my self for long my device needs to be service so if she cannot do it I will go and look for somebody that is ready to do it but still keep her as my girl friend. It was not a small argument but she submit at the end, now she is enjoying it more than me. If I didn't do it to her satisfaction it turns to fight and we are not married yet. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by SirBrightoc(m): 5:30am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Sorry dear, but I think the lady made a mistake by believing you to be a man of honour, which you have now proved not to be. 1. You had an agreement early enough in the relationship. Now you think that since you have boxed her to a tight conner by paying her bride price, you can change the terms at will. From your post, this was actually your initial plan. It shows that you lack honour and cannot be trusted. 2. A marriage relationship that is just beginning, you have reported this minor issue to her parents and pastor? Wow! You have no respect for her. You are not matured enough for marriage. You obviously can't handle a family, unless you change now. 3. That she agreed to go with you to your house after the traditional marriage shows she trusted you for all the things you said to her. Unfortunately, she is wrong. You are the opposite of what you say. Imagine you lying to her in your initial agreement that you will wait until after CHURCH marriage. Didn't you know that you weren't willing to do so? Didn't you deliberately plan to deceive her? You have no respect for yourself. 4. You are coming to a faceless forum like Nairaland with such a sensitive issue to seek counsel from people, most of who know nothing about marriage. You are insulting yourself and wife. 5. Imagine you talking of subjecting her to a virginity test. That's inhumane and a sign that you are not trustworthy. You think everyone is like you? You think all girls out there are the same and like the ones you have been defiling? What exactly do you want to achieve by FORCING and BLACKMAILING her against your earlier stance now? If you find out that she's not a virgin, will be quit the relationship? If she's a virgin and not experienced in lovemaking so that she fails to satisfy you in bed, will you quit? What exactly do you want to achieve? Or you lack self control? She's the one that needs someone to advise her to quickly run from you. Both of you are not on the same page of principles. You don't deserve such a godly lady. My marriage is seven years now and I can tell you, I have been enjoying the best of marriages. None of us has complained about the other to ANYBODY. We waited until after CHURCH marriage before sex. That trust we built has been keeping us. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Jakumo(m): 5:32am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Drkeo: "She" might be a "he" who is cleverly hiding his bedroom tackle until it is too late, and you are married. As a safety precaution to keep madness at bay, it is advisable that you do NOT kiss the bride, until you are 100% certain that "she" is anatomically female in all regards, and showing no evidence of surgical alteration that is so common these days. |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by martowskin1(m): 5:33am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Mommadd: Neva wanted to comment till I saw ur post. The only issue I have with the OP is that he agreed from the onset. (Deal is a deal) According to ur post, so its when they do white wedding then u can call it presence of God. (Is this what the bible thought us or what our pastors said) The only issue I see here is, this young man will hold this for long, he will eventually go for the wedding (but if any form of deception is found after her so called white wedding, trust me this guy won't forgive) Lastly, he claimed the pastor have been brought to the issue(which he didn't mention what the pastor said) I never saw where this so called white wedding was mentioned in the bible, marriage was never hosted in the church(temple) so who said this trash tradition we borrowed |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Polyurethane: 5:33am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Kapapa: Do they preach the world of God in traditional wedding? Is is pastors that unite the Husband and Wife? Don't say what you don't know |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Enculer: 5:34am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Trust me, she does not love you or she is hiding something sinister. |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Enculer: 5:35am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Polyurethane: Good Christian my ass. |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Polyurethane: 5:35am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Enculer: Musiwa That's all you could think, Is sex Love? Anyway, I know you know nothing about Agape Love 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Polyurethane: 5:38am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Enculer: You're unbeliever, a worldly man, a candidate of Hell fire and enemy of Christ. Sex is not everything, try to follow the commandment and keep the law. May God have mercy on you 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by martowskin1(m): 5:41am On Oct 31, 2019 |
SirBrightoc: Calm down bro, the only issue I see here is just the agreement from the onset which he is backing out from(to me deal is a deal) Apart from that, what the hell is church wedding, and who enforced that trash, is it what the bible told us, is there any where in the temple marriage was carried out in the temple? White wedding is a borrowed tradition. The young man should calm down and follow the agreed plan. I just hope she is not trying to hide something, because this dude will hardly let go |
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