dairykidd:

So ur putting their happiness before urs... Anyway like u said it's not much of a big deal preserving the hymen. I still prefer a loyal chick over any type of girl... virgin or not

Its not like am not happy about it, I've never been a fan of premarital sex

ImaIma1:


More like stubborn.

No disciplined. Her life, her beliefs, her freedom, her vagina

witworth:
at least you can write, you try, now try more to read well so that you can be understanding and understandable. thank you for your co-operation to learn.

wat....??

Adabekee04:
Dear future Hubby!
Please don't come and complain here in future. NO SEX UNTIL WEDDING NIGHT I won't see you and alter my principles.
Thank you

White wedding night or traditional wedding night? Please clarify.

Ursulaa:

Its not like am not happy about it, I've never been a fan of premarital sex

oo my,you cute....

Bros ,you are aware of her conditions before Sex,and yet you continued with marital plans with her,
My humble advice,since you have started with that conditions,it ought not be a partial acceptance.,Just complete it,if you truly loves her
Fix the wedding or alternatively,you mustn't make the wedding elaborate,
you can call a man of God to bless the Union and you are good to go.
Trust me ,you will be tired of having sex with her.

[quote author=marvin905 post=83617526]


read my statement again..
what do you mean by him being a Christian[ a Christian is someone that abide in the virtues of lord Jesus Christ, and a godly church is against sex before wedding, if u are in Rome behave like romans, if the op is not a serious Christian, the girl might be disappointed with time, this one he has started bringing their matter even before the marriage begins to the world, if he is traditionist, he should go and marry a traditionist, who will have sex after trad. It this such as this that bring house of God into disrepute.... A good Christian will not demand sex still it is blessed before God in the presence of the church as witnesses to their union... If is an ocult sect, will he treat their rules as he is doing now to sound Christian doctrine... That the point....

Gudlite:
Bros ,you are aware of her conditions before Sex,and yet you continued with marital plans with her,
My humble advice,since you have started with that conditions,it ought not be a partial acceptance.,Just complete it,if you truly loves her
Fix the wedding or alternatively,you mustn't make the wedding elaborate,
you can call a man of God to bless the Union and you are good to go.
Trust me ,you will be tired of having sex with her.

dont mind am....he is a stvpid man....

LadyHeaven:


So standing on a principle she told the OP of before hand makes her headstrong? What do African men really want? You stay true to your words you are stubborn, you give in easily you are a cheap farm tool, she should stand her ground, I personally don't believe in sex before marriage and if its a convenant she has with God then op is free to take a walk someone else who better understands her resolutional belief would come along.

"My principle my principle" is the result of failed marriages today, no one wants to bend for the other. Marriage is all about compromise, if you want everything to go your way hmmm... you are on your own and besides once a bride price is paid she automatically becomes his wife other forms of marriage are just ceremony.

Adabekee04:
Dear future Hubby!
Please don't come and complain here in future. NO SEX UNTIL WEDDING NIGHT I won't see you and alter my principles.
Thank you

Don't let the insecurities of unstable people get to you my dear

BiggyB242:


"My principle" is the result of failed marriage today, no one wants to bend for the other. Marriage is all about compromise. If want everything to go your way hmmm... you are on your own and besides once a bride price is paid she automatically becomes his wife other forms of marriage are just ceremony.

thx....her parents already approved....
whats his problem....??

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

what were you thinking when you accepted the no sex till wedding night condition from her,at least you should have also add a caveat that if she turns out not a virgin eventually,then divorce and refund of your expenditure shall follow,then you can be even.As it is now I suspect there is a short coming she is trying to hide from you until you are trapped,my mind is even telling me it has to do with her kpekus,so be prepared.

BiggyB242:


Trust me, his spouse is a kind of lady that will stand her ground and wouldn't listen to anyone if thinks she doing the right thing but the problem is what if she is doing something wrong? Na this kind wife they put man for trouble. Good character and submissiveness is what I need.

Good character and submissiveness. What part of submission dissolves a woman of her right to her choice, especially when not even married.

Church/white wedding of course

Acidosis:


White wedding night or traditional wedding night? Please clarify.

Deepthoughts:
what were you thinking when you accepted the no sex till wedding night condition from her,at least you should have also add a caveat that if she turns out not a virgin eventually,then divorce and refund of your expenditure shall follow,then you can be even.As it is now I suspect there is a short coming she is trying to hide from you until you are trapped,my mind is even telling me it has to do with her kpekus,so be prepared.

lets be honest and let the hogwash talks....!!
she doesnt love him....!!....simple....

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

...............

obidark:


thx....her parents already approved....
whats his problem....??

Na so virgin girls be their know know to much, just because you met them a virgin they think they are better than every other person. Gone are the days when men they find virgin like I said, good character and submissiveness is the most important.

Oyindaberry:
Babe, I don’t subscribe to your last statement. How is standing one’s ground a good quality to look out for in a spouse? Not in all cases. If it is based on the truth, then it’s fine but if otherwise, it’s terrible. A wife who doesn’t bend or rescind on her declarations even at her husband’s incessant decision? To me, it is a bad thing. It means such person is recalcitrant. I’m not saying this in relation to the subject discussed but saying it generally. Any ‘this is how I will do mine and nothing can change it’ person is someone to avoid.

I understand you, there should room for compromise in relationships. But standing her ground isnt really the main thing here... the point is that he didnt bother to acknowledge her stance on the subject...he just thought he would be able to have his way later. So its him who is recalcitrant.

If you expect somebody to just drop their beliefs just because you say so without any deliberation then it means that you dont have respect for that person. It means you just see them as your toy that you will be chopping and changing on them and they cannot do anything about it. Is the wife stupid? Doesnt she have a reason for her behaviour or her own view? Why doesnt he try to understand her instead of shrugging her off as if she is a child? Thats why I made the last statement "shouldnt you be happy that...?" I meant that he should be happy that he married somebody who can take a firm decision and not be blown by the winds or forced into doing what she is uncomfortable with.

If he had said that they had been arguing about it for the whole 1 year and she refused to be moved, then you would have a point. But he heard what she said, didnt bother to explain that he didnt like it for such a long time and now is coming back to complain.

If you are saying it generally then yes, there should have been some room for manoeuvre seeing as they both have different beliefs and its not good to just go strongly ahead without considering how your partner would feel. Compromise is the word.

But there was no discussion in this case, how did he expect her to suddenly give up on what she believes in without persuading her first, rather he used her parents and pastor to try to bully her?

This is the same behaviour that guys use to force a woman to stop working after marriage and stay at home when she has been working all the while and he behaved as if he was okay with it. Why not make your opinion clear from the beginning so that both of you have the opportunity to decide if you want to go ahead

kunleweb:



K. Says the one that says she's classy and decent using gutter words finding it hateful when her fellow woman says she doesn't want sex till after marriage. Like you're good enough competition for the decent Op's lady, slut

you mother is the slut,the real one hence she raised a redundant asshole

fela4live:

Crap! So does it mean that our traditional wedding doesn't have spiritual backings?

Of course, traditional marriage has spiritual backings. Who said that it doesnt?

Even my own parents only did trad so kindly see yourself out of my mentions! Confused people who dont read somebodys post very well Shior!

I would sincerely advice you wait till after the wedding. Payment of bride price is an indication that the woman you intend to marry is now readily yours. Please be patient, I don't believe she's hiding anything from you, whether she's a virgin or not; that's not the point. Bear with her and don't nurse any ill feelings. The sex you are craving for, you'll always have it over and over after the wedding. Good luck as you patiently wait.

Duggedised12:
you mother is the slut

Yawns, fellow woman hater who calls herself posh, classy, elegant and decent but takes offense when another lady SAys the same about herself, woman hater. The Op's chick isn't responsible for your loneliness. Fix your yourself, turn yourself to a mechanical shop to get fixed today, oode

Drkeo:
She's hiding something from you....

What if she has a 9 inch clitoris or what if she's a Hermaphroditus's?

Or a retired akuna wet don finish?

Traditional wedding done guy should pray and proceed

kunleweb:



Good character and submissiveness. What part of submission dissolves a woman of her right to her choice, especially when not even married.

They are married Uncle Kunle, once the girl's parents gives you the permission to take their daughter and her bride price has been made she automatically becomes your wife.

Newguyhere:
Women break rules for alphas and make rules for betas......

Hmmmm, i have to admit 1st time reading a line like this .........read in seconds and ponder on it for ages.


Sir, You have wisdom.


I salute

Alaniyiokorausa:
are you saying that after bride prize and traditional rights had been paid marriage have to taken place ? Women are scum walahi.@ op pls go conduct virginity test on her i swear if she is still a virgin i will cut my left balls, somebody has been screwing that girl she want to use church wedding to hold you down. Open your eyes bro we have seen cases like that.

No I am not saying that.

BiggyB242:


I'm telling you. I have seen a lady who dated a guy for a year no sex, but met another in a month the guy don fill cup, he wasn't that into her.
From my own perspective if a girl gives me condition of any sort and she still stick to it after a month then I know I non get her key, I quietly move on.

Real G. I hail you bro. Oil dey your head

With us, no woman's condition can see the sunset No be by strenght.



We know ourselves.

StacyO:

Listen carefully @op
I'll only advice you go for a virginity test first( most important) since you want to confirm that claim.
If she is truly a virgin then you have no choice than to respect her decision and fix a white wedding ASAP.

If she is not a virgin as she claimed hmmm I'll advice you take back your bride price not because its necessary but because if that woman can lie and stand strong on something she knows isn't true,WILL DO WORSE.

virginity test first to be on the safer side.
NB:why did you marry her? Because of her virginity? Because you love her? Or because of sex?

If she does a virginity test, it will hurt the marriage even more. Trust will ne shattered completely in the union.He agreed from the onset and was unable to put her in the mood to make her love and crave for sex.

He has to wait. If she fails his test, it equates fraud, he then has the right to call of the marriage. My two cents

It painful to read some comment
So because she wants to remain a virgin till her wedding night means something is fishy
We are in a terrible world nowadays
Op she told you from start and you agreed so pls wait till your wedding night
Do not listen to all this people that will later end up with a prostitue as wife to destroy what you have been patient for
Shalom
Secondly if you stand on the terms of having sex with her before her white wedding I will advice the lady to even leave you because you are not worth it
Nonsense

obidark:


oo my,you cute....

Awww... Thanks a lot

Annie001:
It painful to read some comment
So because she wants to remain a virgin till her wedding night means something is fishy
We are in a terrible world nowadays
Op she told you from start and you agreed so pls wait till your wedding night
Do not listen to all this people that will later end up with a prostitue as wife to destroy what you have been patient for
Shalom

Thanks. Another sane comment. What's more weird is seeing females stand against the Op's fiancee like she's responsible for their disvirginity.

[quote author=Kingpele post=83618162][/quote]


all what you said doesn't make someone a good Christian..
I can do it and still won't be a good Christian..
let me clear this to you even without getting a blessing from the church they have the right to sleep with each.
as far they have done what God have said concerning marriage please read your Bible..
as far as the two families agree and the bride price have been paid they are married in the sight of God whether church blessings or not