TooNoisy:


Oh no!!! Did you just type the bolded part. Like a wise woman, will tolerate a man that clearly doesn't love or value her, just to get married and hope to revenge after marriage? Like that is what a wise woman would do??

Let me educate you a bit - that is not what a wise woman will do. A wise woman will walk out of the relationship knowing that it will only get worse after marriage.

Please young ladies, you need to know your self worth, you need to value yourself so that men can value you. If you have no self worth, then men will only take advantage of you. There are some ladies that those stupid boys will never approach or try nonsense with - because they know they are women of substance and these women have self esteem. You are also responsible for how you are treated. If the same guy that is treating you like rubbish is probably worshiping another lady - you need to ask yourself why you are being treated that way. It is because he knows you will accept anything!!!

What are you rambling about?

It's so easy for people to make grand statements and assumptions, when they've never been in a bad situation.

Anyway, go back and read my posts, then maybe you'll understand my point.

TooNoisy:


Oh how I miss the Nairaland Family section. I read some of these posts and I just wonder how some of the people behind these monikers reason. This is not about supporting whatever a woman does because you are a woman but it's simply about being reasonable.

Please read the bolded again. So, if a man is treating a woman badly in a relationship, to the extent that resentment starts building in and the woman now hates the man, you are proposing that she goes ahead to marry that same man that she hates? Did you marry some you hate? So let me summarise your post:

1. A young lady with a bright future should continue dating a man who obviously doesn't love or value her.
2. It gets so bad that she gets fed-up and begins to resents the man and even hates him
3. So with 1 & 2 above, you propose she goes ahead and tries her best to marry the man because of societal pressure or virginity
4. When she gets married, she now begins to act crazy in revenge

What you typed is a joke. Young ladies, if a man is treating you like trash in a relationship, it wouldn't get better in marriage. Marriage is for a lifetime and you don't want to be unhappy in your marriage. Just walk out of the relationship and you will find a better man. There are good men out there who will surely locate you.

Thanks very much for this sound very reasoning post. That was what I was saying yesterday.
How can a woman get time for a man that treat her like thrash?
Its a very low self esteemed mind that has no value in herself and unique worth.

TooNoisy:


Oh no!!! Did you just type the bolded part. Like a wise woman, will tolerate a man that clearly doesn't love or value her, just to get married and hope to revenge after marriage? Like that is what a wise woman would do??

Let me educate you a bit - that is not what a wise woman will do. A wise woman will walk out of the relationship knowing that it will only get worse after marriage.

Please young ladies, you need to know your self worth, you need to value yourself so that men can value you. If you have no self worth, then men will only take advantage of you. There are some ladies that those stupid boys will never approach or try nonsense with - because they know they are women of substance and these women have self esteem. You are also responsible for how you are treated. If the same guy that is treating you like rubbish is probably worshiping another lady - you need to ask yourself why you are being treated that way. It is because he knows you will accept anything!!!

Wisdom full your head.

UjuJoan2:


What are you rambling about?

It's so easy for people to make grand statements and assumptions, when they've never been in a bad situation.

Anyway, go back and read my posts, then maybe you'll understand my point.

Sorry ma'am, you made an extremely unintelligent and unwise point. The post was clear. The more worrying thing however is that you are supposed to be some "sort" of a marriage counselor. Genuinely feel sorry for those that come to you for advice. (Just confirms my fears for so called marriage counselors in Nigeria anyways. Always felt they don't know what they are doing )

TooNoisy:


Family section!!! Where do you people even come from?

So now it is okay for a woman to marry a man she doesn't love, then she starts misbehaving after marriage and if the man leaves, the woman can go around town boasting of being married before. What kind of people are you guys?

Do you even know there are kids involved here? What do you take marriage for? A train ride you can boast of when you feel like leaving? Like seriously? What caliber of women are typing this rubbish??

Thank God a very reasonable mind is seeing these.

KevinDein:

Sorry ma'am, you made an extremely unintelligent and unwise point. The post was clear. The more worrying thing however is that you are supposed to be some "sort" of a marriage counselor. Genuinely feel sorry for those that come to you for advice. (Just confirms my fears for so called marriage counselors in Nigeria anyways. Always felt they don't know what they are doing )

We need to start calling this people out.

Thanks my dear. I will list them and mention u on it.

TooNoisy:


Oga, don't let these women judge you - I wouldn't. You only opened a thread seeking advise. You can let us know what some of these "new attitudes" are and we can discuss it. They have all just agreed it was your fault. You never said you treated her badly or you cheated on her.

KevinDein:

Sorry ma'am, you made an extremely unintelligent and unwise point. The post was clear. The more worrying thing however is that you are supposed to be some "sort" of a marriage counselor. Genuinely feel sorry for those that come to you for advice. (Just confirms my fears for so called marriage counselors in Nigeria anyways. Always felt they don't know what they are doing )

So ignore my post and move on. It's not going to matter or change the truth anyway. Denying the odds against women will not make them any less true.

Do women make wrong decisions because of cultural pressures? Yes. Do men exploit their unearned gender superiority? Yes!!!

Does it lead to dysfunctional marriages? Yes. Is it going to change anytime soon? NO.

UjuJoan2:


So ignore my post and move on. It's not going to matter or change the truth anyway. Denying the odds against women will not make them any less true.

Do women make wrong decisions because of cultural pressures? Yes. Do men exploit their unearned gender superiority? Yes!!!

Does it lead to dysfunctional marriages? Yes. Is it going to change anytime soon? NO.

What you should done was to ignore the topic if you had nothing useful to say. You actually sound like you are not exposed at all - not insulting you.

Stop advising women to stay in abusive relationships - that is the simple message.

UjuJoan2:


So ignore my post and move on. It's not going to matter or change the truth anyway. Denying the odds against women will not make them any less true.

Do women make wrong decisions because of cultural pressures? Yes. Do men exploit their unearned gender superiority? Yes!!!

Does it lead to dysfunctional marriages? Yes. Is it going to change anytime soon? NO.

Main point is there's nothing "wise" about a woman who goes into marriage with vengeance in her mind. Thats what you opined earlier on. You should tell your clients to heal or quit.

TooNoisy:


What you should done was to ignore the topic if you had nothing useful to say. You actually sound like you are not exposed at all - not insulting you.

Stop advising women to stay in abusive relationships - that is the simple message.

You can twist my words all you want, and I will hardly get 'insulted' or offended by someone I barely know. You are clearly stating your opinion within the limits of your exposure and experience. And I understand that.

It's easy for people to bury their head in the sand and deny the truth, or even wish them away.

Still doesn't make it any less true.

KevinDein:

Main point is there's nothing "wise" about a woman who goes into marriage with vengeance in her mind. Thats what you opined earlier on. You should tell your clients to heal or quit.

How do you expect people to heal without even realising the root cause of their problems? Most women don't consciously make these decisions. It's a reaction to their situations (how many times will I say this?)

People don't even realise the gravity of the commitment they are making in a marriage untill they get there. Men and women alike.

For some it's just the crown of 'marriage' they are after, untill they get there and find out it's not all its hyped up to be.

Bottom-line is, it you don't want to marry a woman let her go. Don't keep her and treat her badly knowing she's already enslaved to you.

UjuJoan2:


Bottom-line is, it you don't want to marry a woman let her go. Don't keep her and treat her badly knowing she's already enslaved to you.

Stop typing the same rubbish over and over again. You keep sounding like women dont even have a choice in all of this.

1. Can a woman refuse to date a guy? The last time I checked the answer was yes.
2. Can a woman stop dating a guy she is already dating? Yes.
3. Can a woman reject a marriage proposal? Yes.

Women have a choice and can choose to do away with "yeye boyfriends" and guys that dont love them. A woman is not a slave and women have never been slaves. A woman chooses whom she wants to marry - she is not sold into slavery!!!

Please dont type another stupid reply - I beg you. you are sounding ridiculous.

TooNoisy:


Stop typing the same rubbish over and over again. You keep sounding like women dont even have a choice in all of this.

1. Can a woman refuse to date a guy? The last time I checked the answer was yes.
2. Can a woman stop dating a guy she is already dating? Yes.
3. Can a woman reject a marriage proposal? Yes.

Women have a choice and can choose to do away with "yeye boyfriends" and guys that dont love them. A woman is not a slave and women have never been slaves. A woman chooses whom she wants to marry - she is not sold into slavery!!!

Please dont type another stupid reply - I beg you. you are sounding ridiculous.

Consider yourself ignored.

UjuJoan2:


So you think it's okay for men to treat women anyhow because they are 'offering her marriage' (you know what I mean by that)?

If a man carried the demeanor that he's doing his wife a favor for marrying her, how will the marriage turn out. We heard a man tell something similar to his wife on this forum, and started lamenting when she began to react.

That's why it's best for men not to treat marriage like some sort of prize. I also read on this forum how a man locked his girlfriend outside overnight, just to 'test' if she's a wife material. And when she acted docile and tearful, he praised her for it. Now tell me, what could be more evil than that?

Some women don't care how the marriage turns out. As far as they walk down the aisle even once, they are good.

You are very blunt! I love that. Are you married?

GreatResearcher:
Even if it wasnt a contract marriage, wil wud hv stil displayd her bad attitude. Accordin to research, women are naturaly bad. Bad attitude is a woman's real character.

Hahahaha! Which research?

You know why I like you ehn?

I like you because you remind me so much of my sibling. He never takes advice or sound counsel, and when the repercussions of his stubbornness come back to bite him in the ass, he is very quick to give every one in the family fat portions of the blame but leaves none for himself. Very selfless somborri

Hmm

Octopusssy:

Hahahaha! Which research?

You know why I like you ehn?

I like you because you remind me so much of my sibling. He never takes advice or sound counsel, and when the repercussions of his stubbornness come back to bite him in the ass, he is very quick to give every one in the family fat portions of the blame but leaves none for himself. Very selfless somborri

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

Are you married?

UjuJoan2:


Maybe you treated her badly while you were courting, because you thought she was desperate to hook you. And you were some kind of 'prize'. A wise woman will tolerate your shit just to ensure she doesn't lose all the years she wasted with you, and then once the deal is sealed, it's payback time.

Don't assume every man is passing through the same thing.

If you don't lay a good foundation, your marriage will suffer.

That is zero sum mentality. you would keep up with an arsehole with the plan to have a miserable marriage where you would have your revenge rather than leave him ?

LadySarah:
Same As men too.

The title of the thread is: husbands have you noticed this?
LadySarah shudnt be the first to comment. Leave matter for men. Lol

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

It is normal nothing new there

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

no two marriage are the same, my wife has been the best woman I would always want to have again and again, her patience, understanding and vision has really improved after we married

olabrinks:
Hardship children lack of freedom and too much responsibilities

responsible answer. So what happened to for better for worse?

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

Very true, courtship can be likened to a player on trial at a club they obey every instruction given. Once you signed them up permanently they will start forming. Women pretend a lot

Yes, your are a married man.
I used to complain it to my wife. Sex is not all that often as when we were i n courtship.
And many more not to mention it here.

IamR:
What about the attitudes of husbands to the wives after marriage?

I have researched and discovered that men tend to reduce their romantic n caring attitude towards their wives when they are married, so if the wife change her attitude, the man should reexamine his attitude also.

LadySarah:
Same As men too.

they probably get tired of fucking same pussy over n over n over

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

Funny my wonan keep getting better as the union grows. We are over 8 years now and sincerely I wish I knew she was like this when I first met her. I would have dare all odds and marry her then instead of the unnecessary delay.
I thank God who loves me so much to give chance over chance until I marry her. Choice I will make one million times over now

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

No be this same dude wey wan buy wife?

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

In fact, mine got even better than when we started. We're both mature in the marriage and we are understanding each other much better now than before. Any issue that crops up, we'll sit down and analyse to find the way out for the betterment of the family. Even the children are involved when it comes to family matters.

Mine never changed..still the same today,yesterday and forever..

UjuJoan2:


Maybe you treated her badly while you were courting, because you thought she was desperate to hook you. And you were some kind of 'prize'. A wise woman will tolerate your shit just to ensure she doesn't lose all the years she wasted with you, and then once the deal is sealed, it's payback time.

Don't assume every man is passing through the same thing.

If you don't lay a good foundation, your marriage will suffer.

you mean a foolish woman.