mysticwarrior:
just listen to how completely unreasonable you sound.

Mr. Reasonable. Instead of giving advice, you come online to insult people out of ignorance. Is mental health talk such a taboo in your dictionary it sounds 'unreasonable' to you? Lord have mercy

mysticwarrior:
just listen to how completely unreasonable you sound.

You just made a statement about what I wrote without calmly digesting it from my perspective. I commented on this Aug 13th, which means my comment was based solely on the information at hand then.
The man involved only came out afterwards to add to the story, also saying there is infidelity involved.
Nevertheless, even if my opinion is different from yours, you have absolutely no right to insult me because of that. Let's learn to be civil wherever we find ourselves. It goes a long way

bigeric100:





Infidelity is in the picture and i av concrete proofs and evidence which i have kept in my email for over a year

Add me on telegram. My link is in my bio.

Just take it easy. Everything will always be fine. Believe me on this.

debola27:

You just made a statement about what I wrote without calmly digesting it from my perspective. I commented on this Aug 13th, which means my comment was based solely on the information at hand then.
The man involved only came out afterwards to add to the story, also saying there is infidelity involved.
Nevertheless, even if my opinion is different from yours, you have absolutely no right to insult me because of that. Let's learn to be civil wherever we find ourselves. It goes a long way

"He may be severely depressed. Or has bipolar personality. If you have a family doctor, discuss with him to assist you in convincing him in seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist"

Read this your previous comments over and over and try to demystify how wrong your conclusions are, there were nowhere this woman mentioned that her husband exhibited trace of mental disorder but yet you were quick to pass a final judgment for her to" convince her husband to go see a psychiatrist" this is so annoying, tell me what statistics did you used in drawing such disappointing conclusions?

In order for a fair judgment to be given justice requires fair hearing from both sides, if the other party is not available to give his own statement then it is expected to ask the woman questions before making suggestions, But you never bother to cross-exammined the OP to determine if her statements were premeditated in order to defame and discredit her husband, how els do you expect me to describe your statement other than being unreasonable.

Tell me something I don't know, are you a qualified and certified psychiatrist? Mrs bipolar personality.

mysticwarrior:

"He may be severely depressed. Or has bipolar personality. If you have a family doctor, discuss with him to assist you in convincing him in seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist"

Read this your previous comments over and over and try to demystify how wrong your conclusions are, there were nowhere this woman mentioned that her husband exhibited trace of mental disorder but yet you were quick to pass a final judgment for her to" convince her husband to go see a psychiatrist" this is so annoying, tell me what statistics did you used in drawing such disappointing conclusions?

In order for a fair judgment to be given justice requires fair hearing from both sides, if the other party is not available to give his own statement then it is expected to ask the woman questions before making suggestions, But you never bother to cross-exammined the OP to determine if her statements were premeditated in order to defame and discredit her husband, how els do you expect me to describe your statement other than being unreasonable.

Tell me something I don't know, are you a qualified and certified psychiatrist? Mrs bipolar personality.

For your information, I am a mental health coach. And I can see you know quite little about the world of mental health, especially since you only know of psychiatrists alone as people in charge of mental health Thank you for your time

debola27:

For your information, I am a mental health coach. And I can see you know quite little about the world of mental health, especially since you only know of psychiatrists alone as people in charge of mental health Thank you for your time

so as a mental health coach you don't have to place your client under clinical and psychology observations and examinations to ascertain if they are really suffering from bipolar personality? Is that how you were trained as a mental health coach?

If you are truly a mental health coach like you said, it is expected that you have an oral conversation with your patient during which questions would be asked, and the answer of the questions would be critically analyzed and it is through these analysis that diagnosis would be made.

Arriving at a conclusion without having an oral communications with your patient is against the ethic of clinical psychology.

mysticwarrior:
so as a mental health coach you don't have to place your client under clinical and psychology observations and examinations to ascertain if they are really suffering from bipolar personality? Is that how you were trained as a mental health coach?

If you are truly a mental health coach like you said, it is expected that you have an oral conversation with your patient during which questions would be asked, and the answer of the questions would be critically analyzed and it is through these analysis that diagnosis would be made.

Arriving at a conclusion without having an oral communications with your patient is against the ethic of clinical psychology.

There's no need to attack the lady. She's right in her assumption. The symptoms the op gave there look exactly like someone battling with depression or bipolar disorder.

There's nothing to be ashamed of there.

The only thing is just that we heard only from party.

Obviously the op or her friend who's story she brought here isn't so innocent after all.

Otherwise, there's nothing wrong with what the lady you're attacking said at all.

Now that we have a Fuller picture, the man has a decision to make. And only him can make that decision.

FrLukas:


There's no need to attack the lady. She's right in her assumption. The symptoms the op gave there look exactly like someone battling with depression or bipolar disorder.

There's nothing to be ashamed of there.

The only thing is just that we heard only from party.

Obviously the op or her friend who's story she brought here isn't so innocent after all.

Otherwise, there's nothing wrong with what the lady you're attacking said at all.

Now that we have a Fuller picture, the man has a decision to make. And only him can make that decision.

inasmuch as her assumptions may have sounded right to you, she was very incorrect to me. Am even glad that the man in question has come out to tell his own side of the story, my question to you and that lady is does he sound like someone suffering from any form of psychological illness?

Maybe you don't get the error am pointing at, and in a more understandable terms that would be generally acknowledge, it is not right to make ascertion by listening from one side of a story, secondly, there was no reasonable evidence to prove that the man is suffering from Bipolar personality hence she has not right to suggests that the op's husband should see a psychiatrist.

In Nigeria when someone ask you to see a psychiatrist there are two things involved, its either he is indirectly insulting you, or he is telling you to get help based on possible multiples signs of disorders you may have displayed during personal interactions, but that was not the case here

Am not here to make argumentative observations, I saw an error and I made correction.

goodgirl2409:
My husband has really changed. He is so unemotional and revengeful.
I will cook for him severally and he won’t eat. I will serve him food and he won’t eat. I will ask him what I have done and he won’t respond. Every time he gives me the silent treatment.

I feel so pained because I expected more from this marriage but barely 1 year after, he doesn’t seem to love me anymore. Sometimes 1 month will pass, no sex. He would go out and won’t bother to tell me where he is going.



He would come back very late and would just ignore me like I don’t exist.
Although he drops money for me to run the house and communicates strictly with me, it make no sense to me.
I am tired. Is this how marriage is? Is this how men are or am I just suffering?

I don’t have anyone to beg to talk to him,and I was told reporting him to any of his family members is not good. things are getting worse everyday. People who have married for many years and are succeeding please help me. What am I not doing right?

UPDATE.
I want to add that it is not sexual incompatibility.
When he is in his happy mood, I would even be tired of his endless gist. S-x will be very great. He is kind and caring. Such a wonderful man. In fact an angel. He would even wash my underwear’s and clothes.

But when his mood start which is his mood most of the time, he won’t talk to you, he won’t eat. I will finish cooking, he will go outside and buy another food and come and cook. He won’t come back on time. I will ask him what is it, he would not respond. He always feels everything I do to annoy him, i do it on purpose. I am a peace loving person. Everyone around that knows the story
always say that he has a problem.

This is a clear cut sign of emotional abuse, he could be depressed or bipolar. but i would like to hear from his side first

Take him to a mental health facilitiy

funmisticqueen:
This is a clear cut sign of emotional abuse, he could be depressed or bipolar. but i would like to hear from his side first

Take him to a mental health facilitiy

the man has already spoken his own side of the story, judging from his statements there are indications of infidelity, it is a bitter experience for any man.

Breaching the sacred bond of marriage established with God as witness is sacrilege,
marriage vows are taken with the promise of everlasting faithfulness, but she defiled the sanctity of their union and its unacceptable.

goodgirl2409:
My husband has really changed. He is so unemotional and revengeful.
I will cook for him severally and he won’t eat. I will serve him food and he won’t eat. I will ask him what I have done and he won’t respond. Every time he gives me the silent treatment.

I feel so pained because I expected more from this marriage but barely 1 year after, he doesn’t seem to love me anymore. Sometimes 1 month will pass, no sex. He would go out and won’t bother to tell me where he is going.



He would come back very late and would just ignore me like I don’t exist.
Although he drops money for me to run the house and communicates strictly with me, it make no sense to me.
I am tired. Is this how marriage is? Is this how men are or am I just suffering?

I don’t have anyone to beg to talk to him,and I was told reporting him to any of his family members is not good. things are getting worse everyday. People who have married for many years and are succeeding please help me. What am I not doing right?

UPDATE.
I want to add that it is not sexual incompatibility.
When he is in his happy mood, I would even be tired of his endless gist. S-x will be very great. He is kind and caring. Such a wonderful man. In fact an angel. He would even wash my underwear’s and clothes.

But when his mood start which is his mood most of the time, he won’t talk to you, he won’t eat. I will finish cooking, he will go outside and buy another food and come and cook. He won’t come back on time. I will ask him what is it, he would not respond. He always feels everything I do to annoy him, i do it on purpose. I am a peace loving person. Everyone around that knows the story
always say that he has a problem.

Bipolar

mysticwarrior:
the man has already spoken his own side of the story, judging from his statements there are indications of infidelity, it is a bitter experience for any man.

Breaching the sacred bond of marriage established with God as witness is sacrilege,
marriage vows are taken with the promise of everlasting faithfulness, but she defiled the sanctity of their union and its unacceptable.

i didn't read that part, what page is it?

goodgirl2409:
My husband has really changed. He is so unemotional and revengeful.
I will cook for him severally and he won’t eat. I will serve him food and he won’t eat. I will ask him what I have done and he won’t respond. Every time he gives me the silent treatment.

I feel so pained because I expected more from this marriage but barely 1 year after, he doesn’t seem to love me anymore. Sometimes 1 month will pass, no sex. He would go out and won’t bother to tell me where he is going.



He would come back very late and would just ignore me like I don’t exist.
Although he drops money for me to run the house and communicates strictly with me, it make no sense to me.
I am tired. Is this how marriage is? Is this how men are or am I just suffering?

I don’t have anyone to beg to talk to him,and I was told reporting him to any of his family members is not good. things are getting worse everyday. People who have married for many years and are succeeding please help me. What am I not doing right?

UPDATE.
I want to add that it is not sexual incompatibility.
When he is in his happy mood, I would even be tired of his endless gist. S-x will be very great. He is kind and caring. Such a wonderful man. In fact an angel. He would even wash my underwear’s and clothes.

But when his mood start which is his mood most of the time, he won’t talk to you, he won’t eat. I will finish cooking, he will go outside and buy another food and come and cook. He won’t come back on time. I will ask him what is it, he would not respond. He always feels everything I do to annoy him, i do it on purpose. I am a peace loving person. Everyone around that knows the story
always say that he has a problem.

He might suffer from mood swings. Read up anything you can about mood swings. Also, read up about manic/chronic depression and Bipolar disorder.

You can also discreetly monitor his movements. He may have a lady on the side

funmisticqueen:
i didn't read that part, what page is it?

page 16, his moniker is bigeric 100 pls read all his post carefully.

mysticwarrior:
page 16, his moniker is bigeric 100 pls read all his post carefully.

well he didn't explain too much, but unless I see evidence, will keep fingers crossed

funmisticqueen:
well he didn't explain too much, but unless I see evidence, will keep fingers crossed

wow just listen to yourself, did you see any evidence before your said the situation was "a clear cut sign of emotional abuse"?
Did you have any evidence before you jumped into conclusion that he is suffering from Bipolar and should be taken to "a mental health facility"? Hear your self talk.

funmisticqueen:
well he didn't explain too much, but unless I see evidence, will keep fingers crossed

he doesn't need to say much for us to understand what is on ground here, the man said " infidelity was involved" meaning she spread her legs wide open outside her matrimony, and the op has not come out to deny this allegations, most men would never sleep with their wife again if they found out she has disrespected their marriage.

The op said the husband doesn't eat her food or even make love to her like before,
In Delta and Edo state once a man finds out his wife has violated the sacred union of their marriage, he would stop making love to her or eat any food prepared by her.
The story of the woman and the reaction of the man points out to one particular direction, there is never a smoke without fire.

mysticwarrior:
wow just listen to yourself, did you see any evidence before your said the situation was "a clear cut sign of emotional abuse"?
Did you have any evidence before you jumped into conclusion that he is suffering from Bipolar and should be taken to "a mental health facility"? Hear your self talk.

he left a lot of allowance for lexical ambiguity. That is why he needs to explain further

Na wa oooo! How did I miss this?

funmisticqueen:
he left a lot of allowance for lexical ambiguity. That is why he needs to explain further

for further explanation contact the man and verify from him then come back and give us feed back as an eye witness reporter.

I am in a financial distress and want any help no matter how little. I am in a mess now . I need a token of support from Nairalanders with good intentions. nothing would be too small Please.
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Polaris Bank

bigeric100:





Infidelity is in the picture and i av concrete proofs and evidence which i have kept in my email for over a year

According to my tradition, when a man finds out that his woman cheated, he must not sleep with the woman again nor eat any food that was prepared by her otherwise he will fall sick and may lead to death. (It doesn't matter your religion). If the woman eventually steps her feet on the husband's hamlet, she will definitely run crazy unless she confesses and some traditional rites initiated to avert what would have happened.

Definitely some ppl will argue it but I think is better to desist than to try the god's. We have witnessed it and may have better stories to tell. If your case is applicable to the aforementioned, then you need to make her to confess and follow up with your elders for advise even when you must have forgiven her. Above all, table it to your God for guidance.

mysticwarrior:
inasmuch as her assumptions may have sounded right to you, she was very incorrect to me. Am even glad that the man in question has come out to tell his own side of the story, my question to you and that lady is does he sound like someone suffering from any form of psychological illness?

Maybe you don't get the error am pointing at, and in a more understandable terms that would be generally acknowledge, it is not right to make ascertion by listening from one side of a story, secondly, there was no reasonable evidence to prove that the man is suffering from Bipolar personality hence she has not right to suggests that the op's husband should see a psychiatrist.

In Nigeria when someone ask you to see a psychiatrist there are two things involved, its either he is indirectly insulting you, or he is telling you to get help based on possible multiples signs of disorders you may have displayed during personal interactions, but that was not the case here

Am not here to make argumentative observations, I saw an error and I made correction.

You are the one who is arguing bro. No one is making any ascertions or handing down any commands or declarations here really. It was a suggestion which the op was free to take or leave. No one knew the husband was coming with his own side of the story.

Now that you have the benefit of hindsight you can call out her error which you couldn't do before the man told his own side.

When you tell your own story here, we take it at face value that you've presented all the facts. If you haven't, then don't blame the people giving advice because you deceived them.

Create your own happiness, get busy and do what is right..... cook good food and keep for and let him whatsoever with it...stop looking at his face , don't let his mood pull you down......be happy!!!!!

goodgirl2409:
My husband has really changed. He is so unemotional and revengeful.
I will cook for him severally and he won’t eat. I will serve him food and he won’t eat. I will ask him what I have done and he won’t respond. Every time he gives me the silent treatment.

I feel so pained because I expected more from this marriage but barely 1 year after, he doesn’t seem to love me anymore. Sometimes 1 month will pass, no sex. He would go out and won’t bother to tell me where he is going.



He would come back very late and would just ignore me like I don’t exist.
Although he drops money for me to run the house and communicates strictly with me, it make no sense to me.
I am tired. Is this how marriage is? Is this how men are or am I just suffering?

I don’t have anyone to beg to talk to him,and I was told reporting him to any of his family members is not good. things are getting worse everyday. People who have married for many years and are succeeding please help me. What am I not doing right?

UPDATE.
I want to add that it is not sexual incompatibility.
When he is in his happy mood, I would even be tired of his endless gist. S-x will be very great. He is kind and caring. Such a wonderful man. In fact an angel. He would even wash my underwear’s and clothes.

But when his mood start which is his mood most of the time, he won’t talk to you, he won’t eat. I will finish cooking, he will go outside and buy another food and come and cook. He won’t come back on time. I will ask him what is it, he would not respond. He always feels everything I do to annoy him, i do it on purpose. I am a peace loving person. Everyone around that knows the story
always say that he has a problem.

I am surprise to see people relate this matter to sex issues

I don’t think so

What I know is that the man still loves the op
He is a gentleman
He Just want to see her change

Change what ?

Character I guess

Some women while arguing with thier spouse they become so rude, throwing shades , vulgar speeches

Arguing does not necessarily mean you have to curse and insult your spouse

If you trying to proof your point , do it with love

Another thing is Maybe you not taking his advise

A gentleman like this will not force his wife so hard against her will

He can only advise and when not adhere to several times ,then it could lead to issues like this


Solution :
Try as much as possible to calm him down and find out what went wrong and act on it


Wish you good luck

PAO429:



I am surprise to see people relate this matter to sex issues

I don’t think so

What I know is that the man still loves the op
He is a gentleman
He Just want to see her change

Change what ?

Character I guess

Some women while arguing with thier spouse they become so rude, throwing shades , vulgar speeches

Arguing does not necessarily mean you have to curse and insult your spouse

If you trying to proof your point , do it with love

Another thing is Maybe you not taking his advise

A gentleman like this will not force his wife so hard against her will

He can only advise and when not adhere to several times ,then it could lead to issues like this


Solution :
Try as much as possible to calm him down and find out what went wrong and act on it


Wish you good luck

You guys are not getting it right. The major reason for his attitudinal change is a suspected INFIDELITY from the OP's. It has to be tackled and resolved before any other thing follows. From all indications, the woman is yet to admit that she cheated. So don't pray/expect the man to change.

amordi:
You guys are not getting it right. The major reason for his attitudinal change is a suspected INFIDELITY from the OP's. It has to be tackled and resolved before any other thing follows. From all indications, the woman is yet to admit that she cheated. So don't pray/expect the man to change.

thank you very much, i was about to say the same thing, the man even said he has evidence of the woman's infidelity on his email for about a year, that man must really be disturbed.