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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? (7664 Views)
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Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by myang500: 5:14pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
Morin Nlanders, Is it true that marriage is actually a do or die affair that whatever comes ur way u have to take it and live with it? That question is solely for the married men, and for the married ladies on here, I just wanted to know if you would react the way my wife did regarding what am about to explain, because she said all women are the same that even if i am to re-marry, that the woman will be worse off than she is, but i disagree. The issue of tending to my food comes with a struggle at times, and being a father of two and living in lagos aint easy. She told me she was going to market to get some supplies for her clothing biz, i was like i hope u did come back soon so i can get breakfast cos i was working from home. She said she would be back before 9, lo and behold, it was already quarter past ten and she called saying shes on her way asking what i would like to eat, i was like is this the promise u made to come back early, she said well there was traffic and that i need to understand that we are sharing bills to pay equally now so I must give her the freedom is hustling per her own timing. I was like I didnt marry you to give me rules, part of the reason why u are my wife to give me food and not what ur saying, i said i have arranged breakfast she should bother. She got back, and the first thing she said is..i have bashed the car because i was rushing home to make u food, i was like i already told u before u drove off that i sorted myself, whats the rushing home to make food for me for. Then it came to my attention that she has consecutively been bashing both cars over the course of 4 days, i was pushed to ask her what she has been doing causing these sort of ill-luck bashing the cars here and there and having the other being fixed almost everyday, weird and un-unsual, she quickly termed it that i was trying to say shes cheating, that i need to get a life and stop being insecured. I was like i'm not insecured, and i cant be insecured over a woman of her looks. She got angry and said, me with my small pen**s, i was like an ugly woman like u can never make me insecured. I kept quiet but she continuously carried out her tantrums. This is coupled with the fact that somestimes last week, she made a statement out of an argument that she will have sexxx with another man in the house and i will never know of it. I was really angry and wanted to report to her dad, she cried and begged me not to, knowing fully well of the consequences that might follow. Ladies can u guys say these sort of things to your hubby out of anger? are u guys all the same? |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by sweetonugbu: 5:22pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
WWE 14 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by sweetonugbu: 5:24pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
You guys May be married but are not ready to settle down. 23 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by mejai(m): 5:32pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
![]() Elders will come and advise u sir. 1 Like |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by genq(m): 5:59pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
myang500: This is a lie from the pit of hell - a desperate attempt at manipulating you into accepting bad behaviour. myang500: Guilty conscience at play here ![]() 15 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by Amanee(f): 6:08pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
The small pe.nis part got me ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Both of you need deliverance 25 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by mrjojo: 6:58pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
You both need to see a counselor ASAP. your marriage is looking like a UFC battleground. ![]() 8 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by Nobody: 7:14pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
. 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by crackhaus: 7:26pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
That woman has 100% cheated on you. ![]() She may do it again, she may not do it again...but all the same, please accept my condolences. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by Nobody: 7:43pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
For a married couple, the exchange between the two of you is insultive and full of hatred towards one another. If she had gotten into a life-threatening car accident, you would still be here complaining that she hadn't prepared your breakfast. You work from home and could've made your own breakfast instead of expecting her to rush home and cook for you. 52 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by uzedo1(m): 7:53pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
sweetonugbu: In addition, I believe both of you need to sit down & talk, coz it seems there are some unsettled issues you guys need to talk about. How can both of you claim to be married & say things that hurt each other feelings or self worth? ![]() ![]() She got back, and the first thing she said is..i have bashed the car because i was rushing home to make u food, i was like i already told u before u drove off that i sorted myself, whats the rushing home to make food for me for. Then it came to my attention that she has consecutively been bashing both cars over the course of 4 days, i was pushed to ask her what she has been doing causing these sort of ill-luck bashing the cars here and there and having the other being fixed almost everyday, weird and un-unsual, she quickly termed it that i was trying to say shes cheating, that i need to get a life and stop being insecured. I was like i'm not insecured, and i cant be insecured over a woman of her looks. She got angry and said, me with my small pen**s, i was like an ugly woman like u can never make me insecured. I kept quiet but she continuously carried out her tantrums. ![]() ![]() Bro, as the head of the house, there are some things you overlook for peace to reign.. Do you guys have an atom of love each other? Since everyone is trying to meet up these days, the pressure is high.. People get frustrated easily, the home is supposed to be where two adults who love each other come to chill, share their daily struggles, laugh, play, do things together not fight or quarrel. 9 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by SirVintageCock: 8:51pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
Glad I have a vintage cock. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() But wait oooo, if you are working from home you still need someone to gather ordinary breakfast for you? In this modern age, the moment you Start splitting the bills then you expect anything...... In short, you guys are cohabitants...... Just draw a plan of cohabitation and get on with it.... 43 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by Nobody: 9:52pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
Sharing bill wit your wife?? How do we get here ![]() 25 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by elektra(f): 10:17pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
LMAO You are in the house but you are calling somebody in the market to come back and give you food. Does that make sense? What happened to your hands? She is splitting bills with you, but you find it beneath you to make food for your own self? I just tire. 55 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by Nobody: 10:19pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
Let's be considerate, sensitive when in relationships. 4 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by ImaIma1(f): 11:17pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
. Why did you guys get married? Was it because she was pregnant? Were you guys forced to marry each other? Just going at each other like little children without any sense of reasoning. There's no love, respect or anything between you guys. And the way you sound so insensitive and lacking consideration. She went out early to get goods and was running late and all you could think about was your food not being ready on time; instead of you to even make breakfast for both of you. Did you even care if she was fine or exhausted? Maybe you both should ask yourselves why you say these hurtful things to each other. Did you ever love each other? 20 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by myang500: 11:17pm On Nov 10, 2019 |
SirVintageCock: Its actually not what u thought of iyt to be, i have heard so many damning words in the last seven 7 years, words like, am wasting her yansh, that she will give the ass to someone else. My advise to anyone single guy here, marriage is good, but be very patient before u choose a life partner, if u happen to impregnate a lady whom u know u are not compatible with, dont be forced to marry as it falls to my own kinda predicament. I am not the kitchen type, i work and work to pay the bills. now to break it down, i didnt want to type much just to make things known how it is, in a year, if i had spent 5.2 million which covers everything concerning the family, she had only spent maybe like 250k, is that sharing bill? her own definition of sharing bill is just cox we went out just last week, we both shared the bill for food and ish, and takes care of groceries once in a while, left to her she always say shes not suppose to be spending a dime after which i empowered her financially with her businesses...am a correct husband that any correct woman would rush, just a pity i have fallen into a pit that am finding hard to climb due to the love i have for mu children... life is hard with the wrong woman i must say. 20 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by johnkey: 1:57am On Nov 11, 2019 |
Breaststroke:even in real life, most married neighbours na fight everyday. 3 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by johnkey: 2:01am On Nov 11, 2019 |
myang500:wasting her yansh as how, like you're not banging it hard enough? 4 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by meezynetwork(m): 4:27am On Nov 11, 2019 |
Hmmm wasting her yansh 4 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by SirVintageCock: 4:28am On Nov 11, 2019 |
myang500:Oga, see...I am not saying that I understand because I don't. All i know is that you lots enjoys deploying your caustic tongues. Your wife upped the game a bit and it hits so close to your solar plexus. Knowing how Africans thinks, I know you are warming up for another verbal battle to out thwart her winning game, and so the battle continues. Stop quarrelling over mundane things. FYI, I agree, you are a case study to other young people cos a condom of 50 naira or not slotting inside any hole you see would've saved you this heartache. 5 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by Leoniine(f): 6:09am On Nov 11, 2019 |
genq: awwh, so you don't believe this? It's not true? That all women are the same? That's 'great.'... 4 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by Richy4(m): 7:15am On Nov 11, 2019 |
Most Marriages has passed through this kind of phase my brother. Anyone telling you that it will be rosy from start to finish is not being realistic. Getting married is easy but staying married is where the whole thing gets complicated. Those argument to me is so original except the part of cheating.. I have heard that line of insult about ugly and small Penis before but from much older couple that got married about 40 something yrs.. The only problem I have seen with your marriage is how to strike a balance between modern day living and traditional style of marriage. U don't know where to draw the line. U wanted a Morden marriage at the same time traditional lifestyle/kinda marriage and u couldn't balance it.. U were splitting the bills bro. And she is trying to do her part to come up with her own share. So her business will do that part and running a business is time consuming and that to me is Morden.. But then, u still want her to come back home on time and do the cooking while u were at home.(traditional ) Assuming the arrangements was for her to stay @home while u provide everything, then if she was neglecting your breakfast by watching movies or painting her nails, I would have said oh! what a woman. But in this case, what she was doing was for the best interest of the family. So if I were you, I will arrange my own breakfast once in a while even lunch knowing that it's modernised style of marriage...where her contribution to the upkeep of the family is crucial/ important. My final opinion is that don't take what she said about bringing a man home seriously. U attacked her were it hurts.. saying a woman was ugly even when she was can make a her say so many unprintable things just to get back @u.. Just to make it look like if u don't appreciate, someone else would. So the bottom line here is to define the style of marriage that u wanted or that is suitable for you two from now on...Morden, traditional or combination of both. Then research on what you can do to make it work.. 28 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by myang500: 7:44am On Nov 11, 2019 |
Richy4: Please be informed, it was in her own words that she said we are sharing the bill, if we are sharing bills my brother. she wont be able to survive it, just small sharing here and there, she don turn am to we dey share bills, please check out my last post. I'm a software programmer, i dont have time for kitchen, not everyone can be the same, try to understand that. I have told this woman several times never to tell me that am insecure, it was not needed for her to have said that. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by ImaIma1(f): 7:48am On Nov 11, 2019 |
Richy4: You spoke well. I think he is the type that feels his wife his is beneath him and he is the lord, master and king. Marriage is really not about proclaiming your position and rights or demanding slave-like submission. It should more about having consideration for your partner and working together as a team. I agree that the first one or two years in marriage could be tough, but throwing insultive words around... that one is a personal trait and a result of character flaws. Because 4yrs and counting, "we" never utter even the basic abusive words to each other. To see these words they throw at each other is disturbing. That's why I don't think the marriage had a good foundation. And he as a man needs to know how to keep things sane. He is getting these reactions from her because of his abuse words. She also needs to learn not to react but be quiet. They need to see a counselor 8 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by myang500: 7:58am On Nov 11, 2019 |
ImaIma1: You are sexist or is it a feminist or whatever they call your type. You dont see anything wrong in the woman, its always the man. Am not a domineering man neither do I see my wife as though she should be beneath me. She is just a typical modern day disrespectful type, no respect, nothing whatsoever, i wont be surprised if you fall into the same category as her. Going to a counselor is not part of my plan, as every-time we go , instead of trying to reach a solution, shes trying to make herself feel like am the cause of the problem, and shes the saint. Infact the last session showed she had more work to do per the counselors assessment, she was told to come back for more..but she never did 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by cococandy(f): 8:01am On Nov 11, 2019 |
You’re both wrong. Stop calling her ugly and stop expecting her to wait on you. And she should stop insulting you or threatening to cheat on you. Unfortunately she’s not here to get advised. How will she know what to change? Maybe you’ll show her this thread so she can read ? 2 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by crackhaus: 8:53am On Nov 11, 2019 |
myang500:I said that woman has cheated on you, and you are still here typing English. ![]() I just hope you're trolling. |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by Richy4(m): 9:08am On Nov 11, 2019 |
myang500: My brother, U are a software programmer. And software programmers also finds time to eat. Even in space, I believe they eat over there too.. You can basically programme a time for yourself. Say one hour in the morning for breakfast since you married an aspiring career woman. Fix something for your self within that hour. When you said that you do not have time for kitchen, it shows that it has not occurred to you to make out time for it.. Think about it brother. I believe u started as a programmer before marriage.. after the wedding vow, u have to rearrange your life because u don't expect to live the way u were living before; this is because someone is already in to intrude on your well 'organised' space. When kids starts rolling out, another major rearrangement has to be made too. Because u can't tell me that when your little daughter comes to u and said daddy I'm hungry, u tell her honey I don't have time for kitchen. There are lots of things that people sacrifice just for peace to reign in the family. I believe fixing things for yourself here and there might not be too hard a sacrifice to make. As for her saying that you were insecure.. Hmmm!! I think you should learn to live with that word because she has found a weapon that she can use anytime she get cornered. She knows that u don't like it, so..U are human too buddy.. and human beings always finds things to do or say to make another to get off their back.. Try and develop a thick skin to those words..because it will definitely come back again... Bro, from me to you, you can make this marriage work if u put in an extra effort.. be a little bit layback..Don't look at who is right or wrong.. Whose role is to do this or that.. the earlier you realise that you guys were a team, the better bro.I know without her putting in her own effort too it might get u frustrated but do your best man. Wishing you the best.. 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by ImaIma1(f): 9:13am On Nov 11, 2019 |
myang500: You conveniently removed the last paragraph to drive home your point of my being a sexist. See the full post You spoke well. I think he is the type that feels his wife his is beneath him and he is the lord, master and king. Marriage is really not about proclaiming your position and rights or demanding slave-like submission. It should more about having consideration for your partner and working together as a team. I agree that the first one or two years in marriage could be tough, but throwing insultive words around... that one is a personal trait and a result of character flaws. Because 4yrs and counting, "we" never utter even the basic abusive words to each other. To see these words they throw at each other is disturbing. That's why I don't think the marriage had a good foundation. And he as a man needs to know how to keep things sane. He is getting these reactions from her because of his abuse words. She also needs to learn not to react but be quiet. They need to see a counselor You don't know me. So you can't even say what category I fall in. So don't commit a fallacy. You complain about your wife being disrespectful, yet you have not noticed the log in your eye. Or do you think it's only the man that should be shown respect? Both of you are not ready to live in peace. Whatever you are complaining about in your wife, if you are honest with yourself, you are also guilty of it. Or it's ok for you to insult her right? I am not into gender wars or feminist or "masculinist" theories. I only believe that each person should be treated with respect and consideration. 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by Dollarseeker: 9:16am On Nov 11, 2019 |
Akannigbabe:sharing bills with a wife is not bad. OP u and ur wife matter hmmm wetin de my mind mk I just keep am make trouble no de. Both of u should just try and ignite ur love for each other. Infact u and ur wife should have a meeting and talk about these issues causing problems btwn u guys, appologise to each other and vow to let love lead. 2 Likes |
Re: Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? by Dollarseeker: 9:30am On Nov 11, 2019 |
myang500:Eyyaaa sorry. No wonder...the problem is actually from the Root, thank u for advising young guys out there. There is lack of genuine love in that house. Just do what I said above. Good luck to u. 2 Likes |
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