Hi all
I've been on nairaland since 2012 and I just felt like sharing this today.

I'm sorry to say this but I think I don't like my mom and I feel she don't like me too.
I'm 21 years old and I reside in one of the southern states in Nigeria.
I lost my dad 15 years ago and I was barely 6 years old then... To just go straight to the point I don't think my mom like me. Since I was young she've never liked me or supported me in anyway. She barely attend my end of year parties or any school activities back then. she never bought me cloths or care about my life at all. She never gave me money or support my dreams and whenever I ask her for financial help, she shouts at me and say all manner of evil words towards me. At age 10, I started hustling for my self selling pure water, doing conductor registering sims and pushing wheel barrow just to help my self. Then at 13 I started working as a laborer molding blocks, filling uncomplicated houses, distributing drinks with wheelbarrow just to make ends meet and what ever amount I'm paid monthly or weekly I always make sure I give her a large purportion from it just to support her. I've traveled most states in Nigeria while I was 15 to hustle and whatever profit i make I always give her atleast 70% of it. Fast forward to when I was 18, I was introduced to a new kind of hustle (bitcoin). I started making a good amount of money and I even made my first million then. I gained admission into a federal university over here. I basically paid for my tuition, acceptance fee, books, hostel and all sort of fee and even had to feed my self Single-handedly for the past 3 years with no support or whatever from my family. She never called to ask me how I did it or even prayed for me. The only time she will call me is when she needs money for her self and even whenever I decline giving her the money she will instantly become rude and abruptly hang the phone on my hear.. This is so terrible and so disheartening that sometimes I just feel like drinking sniper and just end it all. I kept on giving her atleast 20k weekly.. This woman never called me one day to check up on me or pray for me. Then it got to a point whereby I told her I don't want her to do her current business again because she always complain about low profit and rheumatism. So I called her and ask her which business she feels like doing and she told me she wants to buy food stuff from the village and sell them over here in the city. I said FINE and I withdrew 300k from my account and I gave her. Note I was still 18 at that time and one of the main reason I gave her that money was so that should could start up a business and get profit to atleast take good care of my younger siblings while I focus on my hustle, school and take care of my self. Then she collected the money, constructed a wooden shade and started the business, bought her self some things( I really don't know what she spent a huge chunk of the money on). It wasn't up to a month when she stopped the new business and then went back to her former business and then she began the habit of asking me money again while I'm in school. I had a hard time concentrating in my studies and my course was brain tasking (medical laboratory science) I still kept on giving her money on a weekly basis . Then again I gave her 250k to start up another business. She squandered the money and she didn't do anything. Asked her what she used the money for and she started laughing a very devilish laugh and said "things for market dey cost anyhow ". She resumed the habit again of asking me money weekly again and I give her all the time and I Got so tired to the point that I was so broke and this woman will never believe me when I say I don't have it. I'm just 18 and my mom is already depending on me like I'm 40 years old. She continued this habit of not checking up on me and asking me for money always till I'm 19,20 and 21 and whenever I don't give her she literally insult me and she don't to me for months . Sometimes I go broke and if she ask me and I don't give her she insults me on the phone and make false accusation that I'm spending all my money on girls. She never ask about my education. She never ask how I manage to survive in school, she never prayed for me or ask me if I'm sick or healthy. All she knows how to do is ask for money and when I don't she insults me and hang up. Damn. From my first year till this very moment, I'm so depressed. I also have other things going on in my life that I always have to take some anti depressants to make me forget my worries and sleep.. I'm just 21 and I'm stressing like I'm above 40. Just yesterday my siblings called me and asked for 2k for church harvest. I gave them and Immidiately, she called me back and requested for some money. I turned her down instantly and she shouted at me and hanged up the phone. This is someone who calls her self my mom and I barely hear from her in months. She never supports me in whatever I do. There was a time in secondary school when someone threw a stone straight to my eyes and it blinded me partially. All I could see was black and white. She never showed no concern or even ginger (atleast the way other mom do na) she never followed me to school. The family of the guy who did it came to my houses and they gave her 1500 naira and that was the end of the case. She bought eye drop of 250 for me and she never bothered asking again. Right till this moment I'm partially blind because I see more clearly and brighter on one eye than my other eye. She has really did me a whole lot and neglected me all my life and did me some things that I can't even remember. I see other people being proud of their mom but deeply in my heart, I know I dislike her and I wish she wasn't my mom. So nairalanders please advise me what to do. I'm so depressed and suicidal all the time. I'm the first son from my mom and I sincerely want the best for my family but my mom is really making life so difficult for me

Gabbyosun:
Hmmmm!!!
Is this 4 real

abeg summarize for me,u wey read am to d end...Wetin him talk?

Develop thick skin and be selfish about what you want for your life. Don't allow anybody push you to suicide because once you die, you're gone. They'll only mourn you for a short period and your mother will use your death to garner sympathy from others and even money. But you'll be gone forever and be nothing but a short memory, a candle briefly snuffed by the wind, a book that ended at the beginning and a sad statistics of gone too soon.

focus on your life, keep your mother in your heart but focus on building YOUR own life from now on... you will never be able to buy her love because its obvious the love you are seeking from this woman is not there, and has never been there.... accept that fact and move on.

The fact that you keep pleasing this very woman is very disturbing and annoying to read.

Even babe wey man dey fvck never hold em mumu button like this.

Is it not obvious that she's not your biological mother? Do you need a soothsayer to tell you that?

If you don't vibe with someone, you don't. Stop forcing it. Be yourself and focus on the important things that really matters to you.

Even if your mom was poor,her attitude is simply appalling.If she couldn't give you money,at least prayers and encouragement will do.
I have a feeling your mother is bitter about her life......being a widow and all.

You've got your life to live.Don't let your mom's ways make you depressed and suicidal.
Put your mom on a salary and support your siblings.I want to believe you stay alone.Just visit her from time to time.

I'm so sorry you're going through all these, my case is sort of similar, difference is, I'm a lady, I've been a lot suicidal and depressed until I watched Beyond the lights movie, I feel a lot better and free from the cage I was put in, maybe you should watch too, I wish you the best.

Oh my lord
Please you've got to try getting your happiness from deep within yourself, it won't be easy but please try. Your mental health is your responsibility and no one else's.

thorpido:
Even if your mom was poor,her attitude is simply appalling.If she couldn't give you money,at least prayers and encouragement will do.
I have a feeling your mother is bitter about her life......being a widow and all.

You've got your life to live.Don't let your mom's ways make you depressed and suicidal.
put your mom on a salary and support your siblings.I want to believe you stay alone.Just visit her from time to time.

You contradicted yourself a lot in your post Sir
Do you even care about the poster?

Best to cut off any negative energy dragging you down. And don't mind any sentimental person who tells you otherwise. Block d number ASAP.

thorpido:
Even if your mom was poor,her attitude is simply appalling.If she couldn't give you money,at least prayers and encouragement will do.
I have a feeling your mother is bitter about her life......being a widow and all.

You've got your life to live.Don't let your mom's ways make you depressed and suicidal.
Put your mom on a salary and support your siblings.I want to believe you stay alone.Just visit her from time to time.

Did you read what he wrote there? The earlier we stop tolerating nonsense, the better.

missjo:
Oh my lord
Please you've got to try getting your happiness from deep within yourself, it won't be easy but please try. Your mental health is your responsibility and no one else's.

Thanks but these days I think I'm loosing my insanity. My heart tremble each time i think about my family. It's like I'm in a race. Like something is chasing me and I need to keep on making money for my family. I feel i will never be accepted or loved if I eventually go broke... Never thought life would be like this.

I appreciate the comments above. It really took me a lot of courage to be able to post this. I'm a very secretive person and I keep things to my self even when it affects my well being

From your story I don't think she is your biological mother but if truly she is then she is under a spiritual curse or bondage

Sonsly041:
From your story I don't think she is your biological mother but if truly she is then she is under a spiritual curse or bondage

Some times I do ask my self these questions. My dad is late and he had 11 children but I'm the first from my mom..... My mom was never like this when my dad was alive. She changed years after my dad died. She never cared about our welfare. It's always market from morning till night, Monday to friday and when she comes back at night. She get dressed and go meet her "boyfriend". I know I shouldn't be saying this but I'm fed up of what is going on

missjo:
Oh my lord
Please you've got to try getting your happiness from deep within yourself, it won't be easy but please try. Your mental health is your responsibility and no one else's.

Honestly I've been addicted to tramadol for the past one year. It help me just forget about the predicament I'm going through... Now I'm addicted, I can't stop and if I try to stop, she comes with the drama again. My head is so messed up.. I wish I could explain every bit of our I feel in my heart but I just can't express my self

Your mother is a regressive egoist with underlying psychosis. You've to accept this fact and also accept the fact that she'll always need your help materially and otherwise as long as she lives - don't discard her no matter the circumstances. By accepting these facts, you'll begin to see her for whom she's rather than what she ought to be to you and do for you - in order words, squash sane expectations from her and begin to deny her right to influence your thought and thoughts. But never deny her the privilege of enjoying altruistic and conscientious deeds from you. This approach will prevent you from losing your personal development in particular and sanity in general, while still doing your best for her.

Meanwhile, since she's not business savvy and in best ethical state, instead of giving her seed money again - whenever you may afford to - consider to invest for her through a third-party without her knowledge . . . With this approach, you win (saneness), and she and the third-party win too (financially) albeit at a reduced profit on her side.

etiosa97:



Some times I do ask my self these questions. My dad is late and he had 11 children but I'm the first from my mom..... My mom was never like this when my dad was alive. She changed years after my dad died. She never cared about our welfare. It's always market from morning till night, Monday to friday and when she comes back at night. She get dressed and go meet her "boyfriend". I know I shouldn't be saying this but I'm fed up of what is going on

This is serious but with God everything is possible..

You are the head of the house now anything you do either positive or negative will affect your younger ones.

Call your younger ones together and pray for her with faith I believe she will change

LordKO:
Your mother is a regressive egoist with underlying psychosis. You've to accept this fact and also accept the fact that she'll always need your help materially and otherwise as long as she lives - don't discard her no matter the circumstances. By accepting these facts, you'll begin to see her for whom she's rather than what she ought to be to you and do for you - in order words, squash sane expectations from her and begin to deny her right to influence your thought. But never deny her the privilege of enjoying altruistic and conscientious deeds from you. This approach will prevent you from losing your personal development in particular and sanity in general, while still doing your best for her.

Meanwhile, since she's not business savvy and in best ethical state, instead of giving her seed money again - whenever you may afford to - consider to invest for her through a third party without her knowledge . . . With this approach, you win (saneness), and she and the third-party win too (financially) albeit at a reduced profit on her side.

Wow I appreciate this a lot. God bless you

etiosa97:
Honestly I've been addicted to tramadol for the past one year. It help me just forget about the predicament I'm going through... Now I'm addicted, I can't stop and if I try to stop, she comes with the drama again. My head is so messed up.. I wish I could explain every bit of our I feel in my heart but I just can't express my self

Tramadol or any other drugs will never help on this issue... you MUST get off these deadly drugs bro. i know it aint easy to do so, but believe me, it can only get worse with these drugs (unless you clean up).

what you seek is not with your mother nor with tramadol... its deep down within you. nobody/nothing can bring the happiness/care/love that you are searching for., and the faster you will understand that, the better you will live. value your life, love the person you see in the mirror every morning....and most importantly: BELIEVE IN HIM!

etiosa97:


Thanks but these days I think I'm loosing my insanity. My heart tremble each time i think about my family. It's like I'm in a race. Like something is chasing me and I need to keep on making money for my family. I feel i will never be accepted or loved if I eventually go broke... Never thought life would be like this.

Dear, you really need to quit beating yourself up.

Avoid her and stop picking her calls
We're going into 2020 already. Avoid negative energy and remove such from your life .
At most, buy foodstuff and send to them at home. All that money you're sending to her, stop it. Use the money to gain travel experience instead. Go to Ghana or Dubai or somewhere relatively cheap for 5 days to 1 week. Rest very well. You'll feel refreshed when you get back and better able to face challenges. Your mental health is important, and holidays do wonders to the brain.
If there are professional courses that might help your future lab science career or even your business, use your money to do them and stop dashing a woman that doesnt give a damn about whether you're dead or alive

yeyeosoronga:
Avoid her and stop picking her calls
We're going into 2020 already. Avoid negative energy and remove such from your life .
At most, buy foodstuff and send to them at home. All that money you're sending to her, stop it. Use the money to gain travel experience instead. Go to Ghana or Dubai or somewhere relatively cheap for 5 days to 1 week. Rest very well. You'll feel refreshed when you get back and better able to face challenges. Your mental health is important, and holidays do wonders to the brain.
If there are professional courses that might help your future lab science career or even your business, use your money to do them and stop dashing a woman that doesnt give a damn about whether you're dead or alive

I appreciate you alot.. I thought i was going to backlashed because we live in a society where parents are always right... Thanks I'll visit dubia next year just to calm my head

I've seen a very similar case before... it turns out the woman is battling with psychiatric issues... it was very late before we know. I suspect your mother is having psychological trauma...her behaviours are not so normal. She needs to visit the psychiatrist.

PS: Your mom remains your mom!

It is well bro

I so can relate but mine was with my Dad. Trust me if all em pain+heartbreak+tears didnt kill you, you CANT afford to kill yourself.. The life ahead will be amazing

merahki:



You contradicted yourself a lot in your post Sir
Do you even care about the poster?

Abandoning the mum is not the way to go.The mum needs help too.Did you consider that the mum could be suffering from depression or even have some form of psychosis?

AwkaetitiBabe:
Did you read what he wrote there? The earlier we stop tolerating nonsense, the better.

The mum could be having psychiatric issues which could be depression or psychosis.
You don't see it that way.She became a widow and that event could have transformed her psyche.
When people act in a way, don't be quick to judge them.Psychologic and psychiatric issues are real.

Pure witchcraft ...

This woman ain't ur mom...fuçk logic

thorpido:
The mum could be having psychiatric issues which could be depression or psychosis.
You don't see it that way.She became a widow and that event could have transformed her psyche.
When people act in a way, don't be quick to judge them.Psychologic and psychiatric issues are real.

Yea if the op swallows bad vibe and eventually off himself, will that be better? His wellbeing should b safe guarded first. What kinda enemy of progress and pulling down is that? Kai! Imagine from 8 yrs old fa.

etiosa97:



Honestly I've been addicted to tramadol for the past one year. It help me just forget about the predicament I'm going through... Now I'm addicted, I can't stop and if I try to stop, she comes with the drama again. My head is so messed up.. I wish I could explain every bit of our I feel in my heart but I just can't express my self

Obviously, it didn't do the job you intended it to.
You must stop.

thorpido:
The mum could be having psychiatric issues which could be depression or psychosis.
You don't see it that way.She became a widow and that event could have transformed her psyche.
When people act in a way, don't be quick to judge them.Psychologic and psychiatric issues are real.

Bro which kind of depression would make her keep acting like that. Deep down I do know she's depressed because sometimes she could stay in one position for a long time thinking.. And the cause of thinking is simply because she's broke sometimes or she don't make much profit from her business. But i have given her a lot. A whole lot. Since 2016 when i was just 17 till this year I could have given her 2-3 m.. This is not an exaggeration. I know the amount is quite much considering my age but I've been a hustler for a long time and I just want to change my mom situation but she seems adamant