Vibesking:

Lol. I'm neither.

Then what are you? You've got some really dope lines.

Geofavor:

Then what are you? You've got some really dope lines.

Thanks.
Basically I just write what I feel.

Kurtis02:
Don't understand why people always think introverts are proud.


There is this coursemate of mine, he is an introvert and due to his behavior a lot of people think he is a proud guy which I know he is not.

He told me about his situation and need advice on how to relate with people, don't know what to tell him. His nature is really disturbing.

So house how do I advice the guy.

ok what about when someone is trying to be a friend to an introvert and this introvert keeps shooing the person away.

Cutehector:
ok what about when someone is trying to be a friend to an introvert and this introvert keeps shooing the person away.

He is not yet free with the person, am like that sometimes, things that make me talk to someone easily is one a connection and secondly if I will never see you in the nearest future.

scave:


He is not yet free with the person, am like that sometimes, things that make me talk to someone easily is one a connection and secondly *if I will never see you in the nearest future*.

ok thanks.. This explains everything

Treasure17:
Everyone's contributions on this thread are so apt. What about someone who is shy and introverted as well. @Ftheofilous

How do I even start the conversion?
What should I say?
How should I react? Do I smile or seem indifferent?
Oh! we are meeting again, what do we talk about now? maybe I should just evade him.
What will he/she think of me?
Do I say something or allow him talk first?
Do I greet or allow him greet first.
Should I follow her to the party? What will I even be doing there, I will just feel lost and out of place.
Do I get in a relationship? What if I get bored halfway.
What if she finds me odd?
Won't I look stupid or seem proud by answering the question?
What if I stutter?
What if I tell him this and he looks at me weirdly?
What if I get laughed at?
........dang it! Let me just dust my shoes and lie on the bed while I type away on my phone.....at least my device can see all my weirdness without being freaked out.


Introversion as well as shyness is a characteristic of a person. While the former results from personal choice and of course one's personality, the latter stems from low self-esteem leading to social anxiety.

You can be a person who simply like his privacy. Enjoys his personal time but likes to mingle once in a while, out of choice not out of need -unlike extroverts- then you are introverted, not shy.

You can be a person that gets uncomfortable and uneasy when in a large gathering, especially when you are the focus of the discussion; you get nervous, sweaty, uneasy, tong-tied, short of breath etc. You are shy and possibly introverted.

In a situation where a person exhibits both features of shyness and introversion, of course not limited to the above listed ones, then that person is both shy and introverted.

Although extroverts too occasionally get overwhelmed by shyness as regarding certain situations. I.e. a love interest, superior persona, new situations or making a faux pas; they oftentimes quickly recover because they are more socially adept than their introverted counterpart.

For an introverted person that is shy. It is hard.
Truth is introverts are more sensitive. They quickly adapt and react to people's expression or opinion of them and this can be attributed to the fact that introverts tend to over think and like to carry out planned actions. Almost like being a perfectionist when it comes to carrying out social actions. Spontaneity is not a forte of introverts in social situations due to their meticulous nature and the desire to carry out planned actions. Introverts that can flow well during social interactions are those that go out of their way in associating and that's the simple truth.

If you are an introvert who is shy, it means you have a low self esteem which may be caused by but not limited to; one's financial disposition, health status, physical appearance, lack of self worth due to hurtful statements that might have been made sometime throughout one's life, feeble-mindedness etc.

The first step in tackling shyness is to identify the source and then you are on.

Sincerely, different causes of shyness have different manner in which they are handled but generally, there is need for preparedness in the mind and this goes a long way in affecting one's mentality because, actually, the source of shyness resides in the brain.

If it's fear of large crowd, start with small groups, preferably friendly ones as they are less prone to insensitive talks.

If it's fear of what to say. Model your persona after someone you admire and imitate the habits that suits your person because, truth is, everyone learns. Life is a lifelong process of learning and since introverts tend to study people very well, it is usually easier to create a self, or lets say a hybrid self, which is a combination of different traits that have been studied overtime. This is similar to the behaviour of a growing child, isn't it. That's the goal - remodelling.

Everybody is unique. You can't be everything the society wants you to be but you can be the most important thing the society needs.

No person is a repository of all the knowledge in the world, even social understanding or skillfulness is learned. We all learn as we live. Some are willing and some are not.

Ftheophilous:

How do I even start the conversion?
What should I say?
How should I react? Do I smile or seem indifferent?
Oh! we are meeting again, what do we talk about now? maybe I should just evade him.
What will he/she think of me?
Do I say something or allow him talk first?
Do I greet or allow him greet first.
Should I follow her to the party? What will I even be doing there, I will just feel lost and out of place.
Do I get in a relationship? What if I get bored halfway.
What if she finds me odd?
Won't I look stupid or seem proud by answering the question?
What if I stutter?
What if I tell him this and he looks at me weirdly?
What if I get laughed at?
........dang it! Let me just dust my shoes and lie on the bed while I type away on my phone.....at least my device can see all my weirdness without being freaked out.


Introversion as well as shyness is a characteristic of a person. While the former results from personal choice and of course one's personality, the latter stems from low self-esteem leading to social anxiety.

You can be a person who simply like his privacy. Enjoys his personal time but likes to mingle once in a while, out of choice not out of need -unlike extroverts- then you are introverted, not shy.

You can be a person that gets uncomfortable and uneasy when in a large gathering, especially when you are the focus of the discussion; you get nervous, sweaty, uneasy, tong-tied, short of breath etc. You are shy and possibly introverted.

In a situation where a person exhibits both features of shyness and introversion, of course not limited to the above listed ones, then that person is both shy and introverted.

Although extroverts too occasionally get overwhelmed by shyness as regarding certain situations. I.e. a love interest, superior persona, new situations or making a faux pas; they oftentimes quickly recover because they are more socially adept than their introverted counterpart.

For an introverted person that is shy. It is hard.
Truth is introverts are more sensitive. They quickly adapt and react to people's expression or opinion of them and this can be attributed to the fact that introverts tend to over think and like to carry out planned actions. Almost like being a perfectionist when it comes to carrying out social actions. Spontaneity is not a forte of introverts in social situations due to their meticulous nature and the desire to carry out planned actions. Introverts that can flow well during social interactions are those that go out of their way in associating and that's the simple truth.

If you are an introvert who is shy, it means you have a low self esteem which may be caused by but not limited to; one's financial disposition, health status, physical appearance, lack of self worth due to hurtful statements that might have been made sometime throughout one's life, feeble-mindedness etc.

The first step in tackling shyness is to identify the source and then you are on.

Sincerely, different causes of shyness have different manner in which they are handled but generally, there is need for preparedness in the mind and this goes a long way in affecting one's mentality because, actually, the source of shyness resides in the brain.

If it's fear of large crowd, start with small groups, preferably friendly ones as they are less prone to insensitive talks.

If it's fear of what to say. Model your persona after someone you admire and imitate the habits that suits your person because, truth is, everyone learns. Life is a lifelong process of learning and since introverts tend to study people very well, it is usually easier to create a self, or lets say a hybrid self, which is a combination of different traits that have been studied overtime. This is similar to the behaviour of a growing child, isn't it. That's the goal - remodelling.

Everybody is unique. You can't be everything the society wants you to be but you can be the most important thing the society needs.

No person is a repository of all the knowledge in the world, even social understanding or skillfulness is learned. We all learn as we live. Some are willing and some are not.

Thanks

Treasure17:
Thanks

You're welcome brother.

Ftheophilous:

How do I even start the conversion?
What should I say?
How should I react? Do I smile or seem indifferent?
Oh! we are meeting again, what do we talk about now? maybe I should just evade him.
What will he/she think of me?
Do I say something or allow him talk first?
Do I greet or allow him greet first.
Should I follow her to the party? What will I even be doing there, I will just feel lost and out of place.
Do I get in a relationship? What if I get bored halfway.
What if she finds me odd?
Won't I look stupid or seem proud by answering the question?
What if I stutter?
What if I tell him this and he looks at me weirdly?
What if I get laughed at?
........dang it! Let me just dust my shoes and lie on the bed while I type away on my phone.....at least my device can see all my weirdness without being freaked out.

Thanks for this article, it's very helpful since I fall into this category. In my whole life I've never started a conversation with someone I'm not familiar with, neither have I ever had a long discussion with someone where I'm the one who talks more I prefer to just listen. I might even have it all planned in my head but when it comes to saying it, it just goes down the drain. The crazy thing is that it even happens online.
Like I'm afraid to post sometimes because I'm afraid of how people would see me.
Then I'm like 'sh!t they don't even know me'
Then another voice be like 'yeah but they know your nairaland moniker'
And then I'm like 'so what?'
And then I don't post the sh!t

But I'm going to post this sh!t :-D

Wane2:

Thanks for this article, it's very helpful since I fall into this category. In my whole life I've never started a conversation with someone I'm not familiar with, neither have I ever had a long discussion with someone where I'm the one who talks more I prefer to just listen. I might even have it all planned in my head but when it comes to saying it, it just goes down the drain. The crazy thing is that it even happens online.
Like I'm afraid to post sometimes because I'm afraid of how people would see me.
Then I'm like 'sh!t they don't even know me'
Then another voice be like 'yeah but they know your nairaland moniker'
And then I'm like 'so what?'
And then I don't post the sh!t

But I'm going to post this sh!t :-D

Congrats..You broke the jinx this time.

Wane2:

Thanks for this article, it's very helpful since I fall into this category. In my whole life I've never started a conversation with someone I'm not familiar with, neither have I ever had a long discussion with someone where I'm the one who talks more I prefer to just listen. I might even have it all planned in my head but when it comes to saying it, it just goes down the drain. The crazy thing is that it even happens online.
Like I'm afraid to post sometimes because I'm afraid of how people would see me.
Then I'm like 'sh!t they don't even know me'
Then another voice be like 'yeah but they know your nairaland moniker'
And then I'm like 'so what?'
And then I don't post the sh!t

But I'm going to post this sh!t :-D

...You're welcome.


...Lol...That's the spirit.

Progress

Greatdre:
Congrats..You broke the jinx this time.

Yeah, I think I did. Infact I had second thoughts about posting it

Ftheophilous:

...You're welcome.

...Lol...That's the spirit.
Progress

I just hope I can be free with people around me too

Wane2:

I just hope I can be free with people around me too

But how old are u?
Age can also be a contributing factor

Ftheophilous:

How do I even start the conversion?
What should I say?
How should I react? Do I smile or seem indifferent?
Oh! we are meeting again, what do we talk about now? maybe I should just evade him.
What will he/she think of me?
Do I say something or allow him talk first?
Do I greet or allow him greet first.
Should I follow her to the party? What will I even be doing there, I will just feel lost and out of place.
Do I get in a relationship? What if I get bored halfway.
What if she finds me odd?
Won't I look stupid or seem proud by answering the question?
What if I stutter?
What if I tell him this and he looks at me weirdly?
What if I get laughed at?
........dang it! Let me just dust my shoes and lie on the bed while I type away on my phone.....at least my device can see all my weirdness without being freaked out.


Introversion as well as shyness is a characteristic of a person. While the former results from personal choice and of course one's personality, the latter stems from low self-esteem leading to social anxiety.

You can be a person who simply like his privacy. Enjoys his personal time but likes to mingle once in a while, out of choice not out of need -unlike extroverts- then you are introverted, not shy.

You can be a person that gets uncomfortable and uneasy when in a large gathering, especially when you are the focus of the discussion; you get nervous, sweaty, uneasy, tong-tied, short of breath etc. You are shy and possibly introverted.

In a situation where a person exhibits both features of shyness and introversion, of course not limited to the above listed ones, then that person is both shy and introverted.

Although extroverts too occasionally get overwhelmed by shyness as regarding certain situations. I.e. a love interest, superior persona, new situations or making a faux pas; they oftentimes quickly recover because they are more socially adept than their introverted counterpart.

For an introverted person that is shy. It is hard.
Truth is introverts are more sensitive. They quickly adapt and react to people's expression or opinion of them and this can be attributed to the fact that introverts tend to over think and like to carry out planned actions. Almost like being a perfectionist when it comes to carrying out social actions. Spontaneity is not a forte of introverts in social situations due to their meticulous nature and the desire to carry out planned actions. Introverts that can flow well during social interactions are those that go out of their way in associating and that's the simple truth.

If you are an introvert who is shy, it means you have a low self esteem which may be caused by but not limited to; one's financial disposition, health status, physical appearance, lack of self worth due to hurtful statements that might have been made sometime throughout one's life, feeble-mindedness etc.

The first step in tackling shyness is to identify the source and then you are on.

Sincerely, different causes of shyness have different manner in which they are handled but generally, there is need for preparedness in the mind and this goes a long way in affecting one's mentality because, actually, the source of shyness resides in the brain.

If it's fear of large crowd, start with small groups, preferably friendly ones as they are less prone to insensitive talks.

If it's fear of what to say. Model your persona after someone you admire and imitate the habits that suits your person because, truth is, everyone learns. Life is a lifelong process of learning and since introverts tend to study people very well, it is usually easier to create a self, or lets say a hybrid self, which is a combination of different traits that have been studied overtime. This is similar to the behaviour of a growing child, isn't it. That's the goal - remodelling.

Everybody is unique. You can't be everything the society wants you to be but you can be the most important thing the society needs.

No person is a repository of all the knowledge in the world, even social understanding or skillfulness is learned. We all learn as we live. Some are willing and some are not.

Great stuff

Thank God I found this thread. Its sth that resonates with me. I hope I am going to find it interesting as it applies to my personality.

Don’t know if this has anything to do with introversion but whenever I’m at a gathering/party/club etc where there’s dancing, I can NEVER be relaxed enough to dance without alcohol. Not because I can’t dance, I’m actually pretty good objectively speaking, but I ‘people watch’ people when they’re dancing lol so I know it’s highly likely that someone would be doing the same to me

If there’s someone adamant on dancing with me for example, if there isn’t alcohol involved I can’t even pretend, I will just stand there stiffly like one goofball

Funny thing is I’ve danced on stage to big crowds and I don’t mind it at all, but when the environment gets a bit more personal and initiate I turn into stone lol

The most annoying part for me is that most times, I am always short of words or let's say I don't usually know what to say when I am with the opposite sex. It has cost me alot in my little journey in life.


Most especially in my relationship with the ladies. I don't find it easy to communicate my feelings and that has made me remain single as I had always been. Meanwhile I have been of age to to get into one.


Advise me please!!

ibkayee:
Don’t know if this has anything to do with introversion but whenever I’m at a gathering/party/club etc where there’s dancing, I can NEVER be relaxed enough to dance without alcohol. Not because I can’t dance, I’m actually pretty good objectively speaking, but I ‘people watch’ people when they’re dancing lol so I know it’s highly likely that someone would be doing the same to me

If there’s someone adamant on dancing with me for example, if there isn’t alcohol involved I can’t even pretend, I will just stand there stiffly like one goofball

Funny thing is I’ve danced on stage to big crowds and I don’t mind it at all, but when the environment gets a bit more personal and initiate I turn into stone lol

Madam, your own personality has nothing to do with introversion. I think its more of a Stage Fright than what you mention.

Fairview1:



Madam, your own personality has nothing to do with introversion. I think its more of a Stage Fright than what you mention.

Yeah you’re right, still linked to anxiety but not necessarily directly related/correlated. I think most people have a degree of it

Fairview1:



Madam, your own personality has nothing to do with introversion. I think its more of a Stage Fright than what you mention.

...lol...you literally just communicated your feelings to a lady just now so why were you saying it's hard.

friction comes about during communication when you are overly concerned with what the person might think rather than listening attentively to the topic of discussion and taking cues from body language.

ibkayee:
Don’t know if this has anything to do with introversion but whenever I’m at a gathering/party/club etc where there’s dancing, I can NEVER be relaxed enough to dance without alcohol. Not because I can’t dance, I’m actually pretty good objectively speaking, but I ‘people watch’ people when they’re dancing lol so I know it’s highly likely that someone would be doing the same to me

If there’s someone adamant on dancing with me for example, if there isn’t alcohol involved I can’t even pretend, I will just stand there stiffly like one goofball

Funny thing is I’ve danced on stage to big crowds and I don’t mind it at all, but when the environment gets a bit more personal and initiate I turn into stone lol

A lot of people are like that. Some people even take a bit of alcohol on their wedding day before they dance into the reception.

Like someone said. Stage fright.

pocohantas:


A lot of people are like that. Some people even take a bit of alcohol on their wedding day nefore they dance into the reception.

Like someone said. Stage fright.

Lol this is 150% me

Thanks, you’re right

Ftheophilous:


...lol...you literally just communicated your feelings to a lady just now so why were you saying it's hard.

friction comes about during communication when you are overly concerned with what the person might think rather than listening attentively to the topic of discussion and taking cues from body language.

I think it’s easier to communicate with people when you aren’t face to face to be fair though

ibkayee:

Yeah you’re right, still linked to anxiety but not necessarily directly related/correlated. I think most people have a degree of it

Absolutely!

ibkayee:

I think it’s easier to communicate with people when you aren’t face to face to be fair though

....Not really per se, more like when there is a vague chance of an actual meeting sometime.

ibkayee:

I think it’s easier to communicate with people when you aren’t face to face to be fair though

I think that's relative to individual differences and personal preferences as well, cos I prefer communicating with people, including strangers on a one-on-one level than over the texts, emails or messages, abeit being an introvert.

An alarming introvert at that!!!


Though it's sth I have been fighting for the past few years, when I started being conscious of myself, and It has affected me in several ways but thank God for the considerable progress I have made via the help of some amazing bookclubs, Toastmasters and several other social and meetup events, which have helped positioned me better in terms of my communication skills and the likes.

Ftheophilous:


...lol...you literally just communicated your feelings to a lady just now so why were you saying it's hard.


Friction comes about during communication when you are overly concerned with what the person might think rather than listening attentively to the topic of discussion and taking cues from body language.

Alright. Thanks.


Noted @Bolded.

Fairview1:



Alright. Thanks.

Noted @Bolded.

No biggie.
You're alright.

And I am out here “punching” myself for not being in one despite the numerous green lights I have received

Vibesking:


Honestly, it's work!

To all the singles out there... Enjoy your peace. You're not missing out on anything.

ibkayee:
Don’t know if this has anything to do with introversion but whenever I’m at a gathering/party/club etc where there’s dancing, I can NEVER be relaxed enough to dance without alcohol. Not because I can’t dance, I’m actually pretty good objectively speaking, but I ‘people watch’ people when they’re dancing lol so I know it’s highly likely that someone would be doing the same to me

If there’s someone adamant on dancing with me for example, if there isn’t alcohol involved I can’t even pretend, I will just stand there stiffly like one goofball

Funny thing is I’ve danced on stage to big crowds and I don’t mind it at all, but when the environment gets a bit more personal and initiate I turn into stone lol

Lucky you... I can't dance even if my life depended on it