coolguy4christ:


Yeah she loves me and she wants our marriage to be built on truth. I think I have already forgiven her, but the issue I have is forgetting what she has done and be able to trust her completely again.

cenaman:
If I no marry virgin wetin i gain? ashawo everywhere.

coolguy4christ:


She loves and trust me, that was why she was comfortable enough to open up to me.

My stand on relationship is sincerity and openness, and I have continually demonstrated this myself in the relationship.

She opened up to me, after our joint Bible study on Sunday. Apparently,she was touched by the teaching.

coolguy4christ:


I did not sleep with another girl whilst we were apart, in fact since we got back, I have not slept with her. It's a no-sex relationship.

DaddyNimo:

bros please don't marry that bish, she broke up with you to test anoda dick, she got pregnant that one denied the baby, she aborted and now she wanna be honest with you and be back to you. don't be a weakling....you don't deserve to be second best in anybody's life. man up and dump her, she's mad, I'm very angry right now sef.

coolguy4christ:


Thank you for your advice. But she is not promiscuous, I'm almost certain of that.

And the first instance she lied, did not involve sex.

wilsonchilboy:
My brother once a hoe is always a hoe.. lemme nt lie 2 u o, me i dnt believe in love covering multitude of sin, i can 4gv but i no the 4get shii cus as time goes on it wil flash back anytime she misbehave. Trust me if i am in ur shoes i wont marry a lady who lie asf... I am nt saying i'm perfect but i alway thnk of 2maro b4 taking any action.. I put it to you that after ur wedding she wil tel u tnz that u wil jst kuku die so i wil advice u 2 discharg her nw b4 lawyers start eating ur hard earned money as filing fee and appearance fee for ur divorce matter ... God save us frm all dis hoeloshos distracting my fellow men

makydebbie:


How old are you? You can't make certain decisions for yourself?

You've brought strangers from nowhere and little children to come decide your life for you over here.
When you make a decision based on what they say here and it comes back to haunt you, I hope these same people will be here to console you.

You want sincerity and you got it now you're complaining.

donchrisville:
Dude its quite a difficult scenario though. But i tell you this....in marriage trust comes first before love. you see this love shacking you guys now, give it 2 or 3 yrs in the marriage it fizzles and you guys are back to reality.
What keeps a marriage is that friendship loyalty and trust. Trust is the basis of marriage though.
If you would always weigh everything a partner tells you out of distrust, then you both are not fit to be in a relationship, talk more of marriage.\
Dude you wont be happy if you end up living that life. Theres no joy in always investigating anything your loved one tells you.

I feel maybe you can put her to a test of your own again, and check if she passes it without lying. Maybe she's changed or maybe she's not.
So put it to test

Bro as for the abortion, just forget that one, Its a mistake
without a doubt more than 60% ladies have gone through it. Either operation or drug.
If you've taken postinor before, you've committed abortion. So just move on with that...don't judge her with regards to that

OladimejiRufai:
She lied to you before and she did it again despite that you asked her to come out clean.

Now this is what I observe.

Your fiancee may not be a bad girl or a "liar" in total sense. The fact that she even told you before marriage somehow proves that because she could have kept it from you forever.

But she is the type that will LIE to cover up mistakes from you or anyone and save herself from shame. This is the kind of person she is perceived to be.

So the question is are you ready to live with such a person?

It could happen that one of your uncles or brothers will visit your home, temptations will set in and they will have sex, she's the type that will hide it from you.

As she goes about her daily activities, she might meet a guy and have a fling with her, get pregnant and even give birth and present it as your own to save herself from shame.

It could happen that she hooks up with her ex especially after there's an unsettled misunderstanding with you, something plays after another and they have sex and may even be continually doing that but hide it from you.

I only gave those as examples based on possibility. Your fiancee might not be the prosmicuous type. But it still cannot be ruled out totally.

Modified: Or such attitude could manifest in any matter whether it is related to sex or infidelity or not where she'll lie to you to cover up and save herself from shame

So you are the one who should ask yourself if you want to live with such a person as couples.

Good luck

donbachi:
deputy Jesus...clap 4 ur sef.

coolguy4christ:


She loves and trust me, that was why she was comfortable enough to open up to me.

My stand on relationship is sincerity and openness, and I have continually demonstrated this myself in the relationship.

She opened up to me, after our joint Bible study on Sunday. Apparently,she was touched by the teaching.

adanny01:


I know you're a coolguy4christ but your bar has been set too high especially for this girl.

The fact that she broke off with you, hooked up with another and came back to you means she doesn't fully agree with your no sex relationship status. She was just putting up to you because she liked you and know you are a good guy.

2ndly, the reason there is a white or black lie is that some lies are important while others are not, you should be able to differentiate. This girl lies to you because of who you are. She has done things shes not proud of and she knows you will not like it. Yet, to prevent doing more bad things to you (keeping a secret), she came clean. As far as I'm concerned, she is a better person than you who "claim" to be self righteous but judge other people's actions.

You set your own rules and its easy for you but you dont want to know how it is not easy for you partner. You will make a bad husband since you care only about yourself, your desires, your satisfaction and your religion.

Maybe she broke off with you because she needed sex which you didnt give. You didn't give her sex which she tried to suppress, you didn't know her problem or cared to find out or encourage her to remain celibate. You forced your lifestyle on her and expect her to suck it up.

Op, enough of the rules and being judgemental. She sounds like a stronger person than you give her credit. Work on yourself and help her become the person you want her to be or find someone without a flaw and exactly as you want. She knows you, she has put up with you, appreciate her and do the needful (end her misery ASAP).

Lightway:
And ubunja said

That breakup she initiated for no reason

coolguy4christ:


The reason why I brought it to a Faceless forum like nairaland is because I can't share this delicate issue with my close friends and family because I don't want them to judge her.

From the multitude of comments here, I surely can pick one or two things from the sensible comments which would help me in my decision.

cenaman:
If I no marry virgin wetin i gain? ashawo everywhere.

ali1saidu:
u will surely if only u are too a virgin. God sees every thing and wl bless you with one.

Route99:

Nobody forces rules on anyone. She could have turned down his offer knowing full well she wouldn't be able to cope. And there is nothing like 'setting his bar too high'. That is not an objective statement. Different stroke for different folks.