Dimples0303:
She's submissive though... Right?

So there is nothing wrong if she is submissive but very stingy. Do you mean to say being submissive does not imply being stingy

I really don't know what to say to you but As a guy man you don't beg / ask woman for money , because if you do , correct guys will be chopping her steady and she will be giving you the money .


Just saying sha....

user283:
There's this lady I've been dating for two years now. We happen to be members of the same church and I ought to have taken the relationship to the next level by getting my parents to her place for our introduction last month but I had a rethink and postponed our introduction due to an issue that might cause problem in the future

I noticed my girlfriend is the stingy type. When I mean stingy, it's on the high side. Assuming she's just averagely stingy I wouldn't really be bothered but this is gross.

I work as a bank teller (contract staff) and my salary isn't really much while she works in Shoprite. Even from the little I earn, I'm always sensitive to her needs and I tip her whether she's stranded or not since I love her but how can I explain being with a lady for two solid years and I've never for once received any gift no matter how little it is? Not even something as little as toothbrush or hair cream

Initially, I didn't see this as a big deal probably because I grew up with the mentality that it's a taboo for a man to expect gifts or little support from his girlfriend when he's in dire need
but I've now grown to realize that "give and take" is one of the key elements of a good relationship

Even if I get stranded or go into debt, my girlfriend acts nonchalant and she'll be the
last person that will ever render a little financial assistance to help my situation. You might say I should sit her down and discuss about it. Yes I've already done that and I made her understand that I actually postponed our introduction for no other reason but because I'm still indecisive if I want to spend the rest of my life with a selfish woman but her response shows she takes pride in being stingy

I even used logic to whine her younger brother recently just to be sure if she's stingy to me alone but the boy confirmed it that her sister is very stingy. I decided to carry out my findings on her brother because I believe he should know her better.

You might want to talk about sex but my belief is that sex is just a mutual pleasure and does not define what a woman gives to you in a relationship especially a relationship that will lead to the altar

What's getting me worried is that we've come a long way but I don't want to end up with a selfish woman because it's written all over her that she cares so much only about her own well being

Please advice your fellow brother. Do I have a reason to be worried? I've been jumping a lagoon for a woman who can't jump a gutter for me especially when it comes to giving. Should I tolerate this level of stinginess from a woman simply because I'm a man?

P.S: I'm still with her because she has other good traits

Please pardon my typos. I wrote this in a hurry

I’m trying to know if her stingyness is because she isn’t earning much now and trying to be prudent or it’s in her bones like a typical ijebu woman. Lol. If it’s the latter pls be careful.

U need to study her spending and giving Habits, since she doesn’t give to u what does she do with all her money? This shud help u further know how prudent or how selfish she is.

Note not all ijebu are stingy bt the typical ones ahhh. Let’s not go there.

[s]

Starlight10:
Guy dont miss her ooh, my big Sis is stingy, she was like that till she got married to the Guy, guess what!, now her family comes first, she no send us. She spends all her money on her kids and home. The guy is practically not doing much at home. This kind of wife will put her marriage and her nuclear family first. Don't listen to the people here telling you that you are dating yourself. No body has come to say anything about a stingy wife. Women are sometimes like that. Some girls give as a way to tie a man and when she enters the marriage you won't see anything again. Be wise.

[/s]

OP, if you like, listen to dumb lies online by people who want to ruin your life. Na you sabi.

favoryte33:
May be she feels she owes no one any responsibility now because you aren't married yet. Do not be surprised if she turns a new leaf especially when you start bearing children.

But she doesn't feel the man doesn't owe her any responsibility, right? She asks money and gifts from him despite the fact that they aren't married. Life and love is give and take.

Also, marriage doesn't change anybody.

From experience, if that's the only bad character she has,go ahead with the marriage. As far as she knows your financial background. When things set ,you won't even ask her she will be forced to spend. Sometimes she will have to do that to save herself from ridicule. When she starts bearing children she will change. Is not a big deal

user283:
There's this lady I've been dating for two years now. We happen to be members of the same church and I ought to have taken the relationship to the next level by getting my parents to her place for our introduction last month but I had a rethink and postponed our introduction due to an issue that might cause problem in the future

I noticed my girlfriend is the stingy type. When I mean stingy, it's on the high side. Assuming she's just averagely stingy I wouldn't really be bothered but this is gross.

I work as a bank teller (contract staff) and my salary isn't really much while she works in Shoprite. Even from the little I earn, I'm always sensitive to her needs and I tip her whether she's stranded or not since I love her but how can I explain being with a lady for two solid years and I've never for once received any gift no matter how little it is? Not even something as little as toothbrush or hair cream

Initially, I didn't see this as a big deal probably because I grew up with the mentality that it's a taboo for a man to expect gifts or little support from his girlfriend when he's in dire need
but I've now grown to realize that "give and take" is one of the key elements of a good relationship

Even if I get stranded or go into debt, my girlfriend acts nonchalant and she'll be the
last person that will ever render a little financial assistance to help my situation. You might say I should sit her down and discuss about it. Yes I've already done that and I made her understand that I actually postponed our introduction for no other reason but because I'm still indecisive if I want to spend the rest of my life with a selfish woman but her response shows she takes pride in being stingy

I even used logic to whine her younger brother recently just to be sure if she's stingy to me alone but the boy confirmed it that her sister is very stingy. I decided to carry out my findings on her brother because I believe he should know her better.

You might want to talk about sex but my belief is that sex is just a mutual pleasure and does not define what a woman gives to you in a relationship especially a relationship that will lead to the altar

What's getting me worried is that we've come a long way but I don't want to end up with a selfish woman because it's written all over her that she cares so much only about her own well being

Please advice your fellow brother. Do I have a reason to be worried? I've been jumping a lagoon for a woman who can't jump a gutter for me especially when it comes to giving. Should I tolerate this level of stinginess from a woman simply because I'm a man?

P.S: I'm still with her because she has other good traits

Please pardon my typos. I wrote this in a hurry

Stingy women make the best type of wife. You know that she will never use your money to buy party clothes and jewelry. She will be the one saving money in your family.

favoryte33:
May be she feels she owes no one any responsibility now because you aren't married yet. Do not be surprised if she turns a new leaf especially when you start bearing children.

Bla bla bla....bros no allow person deceive u! Na sleep we dey carry know how death be o!!! Leopard can never change it's spots!!!

Idrisenagi:


She just doesn't care, how can a woman be this selfish for God sake

That's how most of them are. We need to start reorientating our women ASAP

user283:
There's this lady I've been dating for two years now. We happen to be members of the same church and I ought to have taken the relationship to the next level by getting my parents to her place for our introduction last month but I had a rethink and postponed our introduction due to an issue that might cause problem in the future

I noticed my girlfriend is the stingy type. When I mean stingy, it's on the high side. Assuming she's just averagely stingy I wouldn't really be bothered but this is gross.

I work as a bank teller (contract staff) and my salary isn't really much while she works in Shoprite. Even from the little I earn, I'm always sensitive to her needs and I tip her whether she's stranded or not since I love her but how can I explain being with a lady for two solid years and I've never for once received any gift no matter how little it is? Not even something as little as toothbrush or hair cream

Initially, I didn't see this as a big deal probably because I grew up with the mentality that it's a taboo for a man to expect gifts or little support from his girlfriend when he's in dire need
but I've now grown to realize that "give and take" is one of the key elements of a good relationship

Even if I get stranded or go into debt, my girlfriend acts nonchalant and she'll be the
last person that will ever render a little financial assistance to help my situation. You might say I should sit her down and discuss about it. Yes I've already done that and I made her understand that I actually postponed our introduction for no other reason but because I'm still indecisive if I want to spend the rest of my life with a selfish woman but her response shows she takes pride in being stingy

I even used logic to whine her younger brother recently just to be sure if she's stingy to me alone but the boy confirmed it that her sister is very stingy. I decided to carry out my findings on her brother because I believe he should know her better.

You might want to talk about sex but my belief is that sex is just a mutual pleasure and does not define what a woman gives to you in a relationship especially a relationship that will lead to the altar

What's getting me worried is that we've come a long way but I don't want to end up with a selfish woman because it's written all over her that she cares so much only about her own well being

Please advice your fellow brother. Do I have a reason to be worried? I've been jumping a lagoon for a woman who can't jump a gutter for me especially when it comes to giving. Should I tolerate this level of stinginess from a woman simply because I'm a man?

P.S: I'm still with her because she has other good traits

Please pardon my typos. I wrote this in a hurry

Marriage is for good and bad times.
She will be a wife to you to compliment you. Because God has said she will be your helpmate
If she can't meet that need, then forgo the relationship and move on.

Look into the future and decide for yourself. Can you keep an unsupportive woman as a wife?
If you make a mistake in your decision you will pay bitterly for it and it may affect your generations unborn.
But acting wisely will save you a lot of pain.

All the best

Its funny when people see sex as a one way thing, is it not both parties that are involved in the act, as for men paying bride price, its a culture thing sebi in india ladies pay dowry

Rajman45:

Ur very funny....lol.

All d digging ur giving her, back and front... U think say na for free. Please wipe that useless idea that sex is a mutual enjoyment for both parties. Sex is not for free.... Even married couples has paid for it through paying her dowry.

Never u forget that ur d one going into her nd not d other way around.

[b][/b] You have seen fire and you wanna put ur head

Starlight10:
Guy dont miss her ooh, my big Sis is stingy, she was like that till she got married to the Guy, guess what!, now her family comes first, she no send us. She spends all her money on her kids and home. The guy is practically not doing much at home. This kind of wife will put her marriage and her nuclear family first. Don't listen to the people here telling you that you are dating yourself. No body has come to say anything about a stingy wife. Women are sometimes like that. Some girls give as a way to tie a man and when she enters the marriage you won't see anything again. Be wise.

Different strokes

user283:
I've done that before but it doesn't change anything bro

then you need to run
Marriage is an everlasting union
You don't wanna regret going into a wrong marriage

SillyeRabbit:
You are dating yourself.

just like the that happened to me too, extremely stingy and not just that she is an extortionist, life will frustrate that guy in one stage that would make him feel like no one cares about him, snipper will be calling him for refreshment , a stage where your girl worship him when he is okay but turn back when he is broke. Even ordinary garri support from her, MBA..

If you were my brother, I'll never allow you go ahead with her.
But then you're not.

Eyeness:
the reason you wrote this is because you don't have much. if she is a good person despite this, then marry her. Actually, you are the provider in the family. How come i never see rich men complain of stingy women?

rich men don't complain of stingy women because situation has not allowed them to,op states everything clearly.its a plus when u know ur wife when u are not rich and get rich later to appreciate her

All women are the same. Take it or leave it but I guess this your gf is yet to face serious life issues. I've seen far worst cases than this. Infact it's the woman that would willingly surrender her belongings when the time comes. Many women worse pass her but they are still in marriage today. How come? You won't get reasonable advise from teenagers on here. Most of them aren't into marriage yet to know the tricks. Follow your heart, though.

alphaNomega:
Women are naturally stingy unless it comes to giving their children. There are some generous ones though and if you happen to have one of such please cherish her.

You're right. Women are naturally stingy. That's why I don't feel comfortable receiving things from women..cos I know it's not from their heart.

Flee from selfish ladies I can think of marrying one gosh it irritates me. So when you broke tomorrow she will just disrespect you. My brother borrow leg join leg run o.

You are the one who is in this shoe, and you know how well it fit. Just do what ever you're pleased with.

Hahahahaha
Heya. Pussy strong ooohh.
I dont know why God no give man pussyyy too.
Its normal for naija girls na. Lol. Ozwo
So u dey expect gift from okpo.
Even if she dey work for any fucking mall
She be okpo my guy.
She dey spend for another guy head..
I get one bich like dat,naso she dey do. Afta i don Bleep craze comor for her body na 1k,2k i fey give am as feeding miney go house. Drop am for abt a mile away frm her side.
But when i check her gram,fb,whatsapp she be female davido snappin and uploading every min.
The tin iz i don position am,2k,3k. No level.
If your bich respect u,she go show u love
My own dey cook for me,buy me supermarkets once once.omo na me run visit come wan turn every 3 days. Na na na.
Id been sleeping on the bich
Woke up couple months back..bich
My guy naika girls are ungrateful and arrogant.
Even if u like buy am house.
They got no love or appteciation.
Imagine say your gal na whitey.
By now u 4 don dey drive range sport

OP, don't break up with her since you said she has other traits you admire. You said she doesn't give but those she ask? Do you ask her when you're in need? In the Christmas season, introduce exchange of gift to her (baby, I want us to exchange gifts this Xmas).

Technically speaking, there is no advice you can give this dude that he will listen to you. Nairaland is not a place to shop for advice. You have only told us one feature out of several that your girlfriend has. You are the one that will live with her, and since marriage is a partnership you have to sit yourself down and ask yourself if you are safe being stranded by a woman that only cares for and about her own self.

If your answer is No, then break it off with her immediately.
Do not deceive yourself that she will change, she most likely will not change.
You deserve to be happy in marriage, she deserves to be too, but that happiness will not likely come from the two of you marrying each other since the two of you have problems.

She has the problem of being stingy, and you have the problem of complaining about her stinginess. Some men won't mind, let such men come and carry their goods in your care. Go find yours.

But, you still will not listen. I hope you're not going to come back to Nairaland for advice on how to handle your overly stingy wife. Nairalanders will still tell you to divorce her.

Nothing to worry about Mate. She dey give am Tunde

I don't think it's proper the way she is acting. Even the Bible says that a woman is a helper. A helper in all things. I want you to seek advice from responsible elders because marriage is not something you can jump in and jump out. If I stay in a relationship for two years, I will know who am dating and then make decisions. Be wise

important question: IS SHE STINGY IN ZA ODA ROOM?

Why do you think Kogi State Governor Yahaya Bello choose the 2nd wife over the 1st as his first lady, even though the 1st is more qualified and better educated as a legal practitioner? As new man into poliyics then, during the campaign prior to the primary election that made him a runner up, local man experienced cash crunch, pleaded the 1st wife to loan him some mills, but she declined thinking it's wasn't worth it as per no faith or hope in the project but the 2nd backed him to a hilt with everything she has. I guess local man didn't forget the kind gesture. Stingy woman is like a cancer, rich or poor family. Avoid them at all cost.



quote author=generalissimo post=84342908]You have lived too long among the poor folks that is probably why you haven't seen a rich man complain of his stingy wife. You don't have to be needy before realizing someone has been stingy towards you. Money isn't everything bikonu! Everyone wants to feel loved and a little gift and assistance once in a while is one of the ways to show it. [/quote]

Oga OP I personally will never marry a woman like that, if she like make she get other 1000 qualities e no concern me!!

To me I like, sorry love surprises and am not sure I can get that from a stingy woman.

I fit date am o but not marry lai lai...why not, after all some girls are only good as girlfriends, just as some are only good as besties marry them and u regret it forever!!!

In addition, bro when it comes to marriage LOVE is not enough! And the warning sign here is that u are already having doubts!!!!!

Do not confuse your self with "she has other good qualities".....We dey use sleep know how death dey!!! A word is enough for the wise!!!

P.S.: Las Las na your decision to make.
All the best in your quest for a wife!

VERDA:


Just have one advice a married friend gave me....people hardly change their attitude after marriage, and there is no such thing as she/he did not have these bad character before marriage, look well and if you can't live with whatever bad traits present now, well.....

Your married friend is right.

That's because she is single put that ring in her finger, she will change. Go ahead and marry her

I will advise you think twice before you take it further with her,this is a red flag,which you should pay attention to.better still,you can call her attention to it,just maybe she will change.