GeneralShepherd:
Why is it a requirement for your girlfriend to seek permission from you before going out? She is an adult, with her own life and her own circle of friends.

Why does she have to justify going anyway with you first? If she isn't your type , that is one who spends her time at home, then leave her

theButterfly:
That she has to seek your permission before going out is ridiculous. You sound like a control freak and you did her a favour by breaking up with her. What rubbish.


You're the only one who has asked OP this important question. Thank you for having sense.

theButterfly:
That she has to seek your permission before going out is ridiculous. That you broke up w| her b|c she wanted to spend the night at her girlfriend's place is even more ridiculous. You sound like a control freak and you did her a favour by breaking up with her. What rubbish.


You're the only one who has asked OP this important question. Thank you for having sense.

TheGoodJoe:


I am going to my friend's place and I have decided to pass a night. Is that too hard to tell a boyfriend?

DonEd:
This is simply "inferiority complex".

Already, u consider urself no longer good enough financially hence ur insecurity has set in.

If u knew u were right, u why seeking opinions?

See! Marriage and relationships is pitching ur tent with a stranger. You just have to choose one with lesser evil.

TheGoodJoe:

If I knew I was right, I would not be seeking various opinions. I am always willing to learn and grow, if I see where I defaulted.

The idea of a lesser evil is nice. Reminds me of Jerry Springer's show Baggage. Either way, thank you.

Realonekingsley:
All these guys in formal relationships what special thing do you gain?

davidadenrele:
Hello,

You want my advice get a job, work on yourself, have plans, and goals, dream big fine babe with all the features will not think twice for your attention ladies dont worth the stress to die over sometimes, yes true love exists no doubt what keeps the true love going is "MONEY" its obvious she has began to see you as a burden, due to present state of challenges even when she should have shown genuine understanding its really hard keeping a serious relationship especially when its the girl that's pushing to managed things emotions will often go a hey wire sometime, dont be afraid and be too hard on yourself for quitting the relationship afterall you are the man you have your pride intact where you got it wrong is taken a quick decision when you are angry for now let her be, pray hard go get a job all will be well in no time if she's yours she will come back if she's not yours a better person with good intention to stay will come around.!!

All the best Bro.

TheGoodJoe:


Thank you for the point.

I do tell her every where I go to. Before I go out and when I arrive the place. I call when I am there and let her know when I am leaving.

I do this to ease her mind at all time and build trust in our relationship. She also used to do this always. Lately, she stopped. To the point of going to an occasion and lying about it when I asked her.

So the change can not start with me. This is about the change in her attitude.

Then not telling me that she is planning to spend a night with her friend? Haba, that is far from the foundation we built in our relationship.

TheGoodJoe:


Thank you. Very nice.

I have a job but where we had problem was I had another source of income from another company to complement my salary. So this extra source gave us a lot of leverage to leave a bit flamboyantly.

Unfortunately, I lost that extra source and our lifestyle reduced. However, I still bear most of the burden while I source to get my contacts to plug back the extra source.

Pointed noted.

pryme:


How long have you guys been without communication, and has she contacted you since then to find out why the sudden change?

TheGoodJoe:


Nice advice but I will like a tip from you of something you feel I did wrong.

An excerpt from the write up will be preferable.

Gaspardd:

You re just a broke pùssy asß bìtch full of himself, who re u to tell her what to do? Is she your wife...u guys arent in a covenant, you re just in a relate-tionship. Bomboclàt

TheGoodJoe:


Meaning of Relationship

the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected.

TheGoodJoe:


She called this morning and afternoon letting me know her movements. Like hinting that she has taking correction but I am not buying it.

TheGoodJoe:


She called this morning and afternoon letting me know her movements. Like hinting that she has taking correction but I am not buying it.

pryme:


I believe you love this girl very much, am not going to promise you that she will change, but I can assure you one thing, you wont be happy with yourself when you start thinking later on you should have given it your all.

People make mistakes - its inevitable, maybe she took your warnings as a bluff.
If you are going to break up, it should be something you wont have second thoughts about, but for this one its obvious you are having second thoughts - thats why you are here.

My advise? take the stress off your heart/mind and make up with her,
I first asked if she was communicating, but since you said she is keeping in touch, then its a good sign. She is trying to put up fight to make it work (ofcos she wont throw herself on the ground for you like she is going to die because of you even when they are dying inside - wont give you that), I dont forgive easily but sometimes I do it to have a clear conscience that i did not make a mistake (its called second chance). If she is not ready to make this relationship work, it will fall apart again in no time, by that time you wont need our opinion, you would have seen it clearly and take a decision.

REMEMBER
People are raised from different backgrounds, what may be irritating to you maybe the norm for some people.

If you meet another lady the chances are is that she may have been fvcking another guy(s) for years before she comes your way, so its all about who understands you and make you happy that counts, not her body count.

Its ok to have these kinds of fights in a relationship, but you must make sure to the issue is given a good trashing so that it doesnt repeat itself (talk about it).

No one is perfect.

We all make mistakes.

You are not without flaws, so is she.





She may be hurting because of what you have done, so when you guys make up, you owe her an apology (and I believe she will do same - if not thats a red flag).
Best of luck.

iRepNaija1:
OP, the fact that you were willing to end a relationship of over a year over this, in my opinion, minor issue, demonstrates to me that you may not be ready for the bigger problems that relationships and marriages bring. All these other people who are telling you that you need to be in control or you handed your balls or to her or that you need to manipulate her by making her jealous are leading down a dangerous path. Relationships, everyone of them, are about compromise and finding a mutually agreeable solution. If someone feels the need to have another person submit to them in any capacity, there is something very wrong.

The fact that you're on NL means you're having second thoughts. If you want to, seek out your ex, tell her you overreacted (because in all honesty, you did) and apologize for that overreaction. Then just talk it out in a mature, calm fashion. Maybe she needs to know why (do you have legit reason why?) you want her to inform you of where she goes. If it's a two way street, promise her you'll always do the same. If neither of you can come to an agreement, then part ways amicably.

TheGoodJoe:


Thank you.

As I said earlier. It was not like this before. We were very transparent with each other. Never found lapses for years until recently. It is also reoccurring.

I know more comes in marriages but I want to reduce the possibility of tying the knot with someone I will not agree with her attitude in the near future.

I am still very transparent with her but she is not. That is where our problem lie.

TheGoodJoe:


Thank you.

As I said earlier. It was not like this before. We were very transparent with each other. Never found lapses for years until recently. It is also reoccurring.

Gaspardd:

You re just a broke pùssy asß bìtch full of himself, who re u to tell her what to do? Is she your wife...u guys arent in a covenant, you re just in a relate-tionship. Bomboclàt

TheGoodJoe:


She called this morning and afternoon letting me know her movements. Like hinting that she has taking correction but I am not buying it.

TheGoodJoe:


And it just started. Although she went with her friends I knew and it has not happened much, why not tell me. Then after talking to her about it, she decided to even do more.

I might be paranoid about the whole thing but I never go anywhere without letting her know. It is impossible for me to plan to stay out without giving her the full details,
call her regularly about my movements.

2sexycom:
If a woman is giving you problem, it is because you make seems like it is all you have got. You should never be with any Nigerian girl without backup EXCEPT you know she is highly dedicated and focus (which many of them aren't anyway).

A friend called me few weeks back and complained. I looked at the situation and laughed. I told him to dude, box up and be the man.

I didn't see your OP but from what people are saying, it seems you are taking your relationship with the said girl too emotional. I do not know any man that survived any relationship with a Nigerian girl by being emotional. Yyou have to change that bro.