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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating (61356 Views)
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Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Nobody: 12:10pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Don’t like bringing out my leg so have to clear all this 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by topsquino(m): 12:10pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen: Wow. I understand how you feel dear We all want the best for ourselves Honestly, when you even see those guys you desire you are likely to underrate them. This is became they hardly come online or have time for small talks. You seem intelligent to me. Kindly send me a PM so that we can communicate outside this platform |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Harlequeen: 12:10pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
LionTiger:Yes, yes and yes 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Nobody: 12:12pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Beosten:of i may ask what are the 3 sources of income |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by mechanics(m): 12:14pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Since you realized your mistake with your former ex by being sexually active with him, is good to avoid that now to get the right man because sex is not a guarantee that the man will marry you in future, the aspect you talked about religion that you don't go to church surprises me, how will you not go to church and expect God to give you your future husband, the best solution is to pray about it because God is the perfect match maker and start going to a Bible believing church. 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by PreyingMantis(m): 12:14pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:Have you ever wondered if those kind of men you want, actually see anything in you? 2 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Laurene: 12:14pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
AntiMCU:my dear what did I do? |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by degoodman22: 12:15pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
You are a lady with vision, and you need a man of vision for partner. Do you know you can make the man you love to become that man of your dream? Falling in love can change the way you look. Why not try to fall in love first? Then share your vision with your lover. God bless you. 2 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by shestrong(f): 12:16pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
GrabHisBalls:marry him pls |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Harlequeen: 12:17pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Vida04:uncle, why are you so bitter? You don't sound accomplished at all, and even if you are, your mental age is not high at all. You said my father can never reach the standard. Let me tell you that he has already reached and surpassed it. He is the main example i have of what men should be like. He is the muse for the criteria I set in the first place. You have issues if anything I posted is causing you such acrimony. 6 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Minjim: 12:18pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
GrabHisBalls: Time is what we all don't have enough of in this world. You ladies have to learn to compromise a bit. Waiting for Prince Charles may not cut it for everyone cos there is only one Prince Charles and he's taken. But you can make ur own Prince Charles. You want a man to have this and that is what make men desperate and dubious. I used to say I can't date chubby ladies but now, I've compromised on that. Are you honesty saying you can't even love someone not within ur spec? No condition is permanent now. Cut us some slacks. If you don't lower a bit that ur highbrow standard, you too may not be ur spec's standard. Remember, it's a man's world and the clock is ticking 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by zoeycherie: 12:19pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
electroTech: Hi. Let's connect. How do I reach you? |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Nobody: 12:20pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
I don’t need to prove to unworthy tramps like you normally I don’t like talking about fortunes cause I have seen someone with the whole world lose it at a flash of light Your father isn’t accomplished mentally and financially for training a woman like you that’s why I am scared of having a female child so she doesn’t mix up with fools like you Acrimony my black Nigerian ass Harlequeen: 2 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by kevotek1000(m): 12:20pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
I think you have problem... You want a perfect dream man, that only happens in dreams. You just have to accept the imperfect nature of men, appreciate and work out relationships, at the end you will be amazed how it work out beautifully. I want a man who has money like Dongote Have pink lip like Ramsey Nouah Have 6 packs like iyanyan Tall like Flavour Handsom like Neymar Humble like Messi Have Swag like Cr7. This is how aunty Iyabo end up marrying that vulcanizer man near the road @45yrs. Don't let village people put hand for your matter o. 1 Like
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Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Harlequeen: 12:21pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
PreyingMantis:THAT'S the conundrum actually. When i do find these men,Some of these kind of men have major character flaws, some just want slay queens and i am very conservative. I think the issue is making that lasting first impression on them. But let me meet these accomplished men first. 2 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Nobody: 12:21pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen: The type of.man you're looking for is usually married by 35. If he's still single by then usually he's jaded already, has lost faith in the marriage scam & become a hit-and -run artist (the womb-raider, one of the categories of men you're trying to steer clear of ) Marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be. Just live your best life by developing yourself, the right man will pop into your life while you're at it 4 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Edinville: 12:21pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
There is more to a foundation of meaninful companionship or relationship( depending on your preferred choice of word) than the qualities you emphasized or an attractive figure. There is more to consider than popularity or charisma. As you seek for this person, look for someone who is developing the essential attributes that bring happiness: a deep love of the Lord and of His commandments, a determination to live them, one that is kindly understanding, forgiving of others, and willing to give of self, with the desire to have a family crowned with beautiful children and a commitment to teach them the principles of truth in the home. I suggest that you not ignore many possible candidates who are still actively developing these attributes, seeking the one who is perfected in them. You will likely not find that perfect person, and if you did, there would certainly be no interest in you. These attributes are best polished together as husband and wife so its a life long commitment. And remember, you are not required to lower your standards in order to get a mate. Keep yourselves attractive, maintain high standards, maintain your self-respect. Do not engage in intimacies that bring heartache and sorrow. Place yourselves in a position to meet worthy men and be engaged in constructive activities. But also, do not expect perfection in your choice of a mate. Do not be so concerned about his physical appearance and his bank account that you overlook his more important qualities. Of course, he should be attractive to you, and he should be able to financially provide for you. Look out for a healthy balance between all those traits to have a more fulfilling and meaningful relationship and I promise you, you won't be wandering this much ever again.. Hope this is useful. My 50 cent. quote author=Harlequeen post=84566885]I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular. I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong. I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also. Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion. But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that. I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right? To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?[/quote] 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Galapagous(m): 12:22pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
ojun50: 1 Like
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Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Harlequeen: 12:24pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Vida04:how people who think like you exist on the surface of this earth, should be one of the wonders of the world. You are a low vibrating person with nothing to contribute. This is all the attention, i will give you. Have a nice day 5 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Bryan88(m): 12:25pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
GrabHisBalls:Yhu Girls shud keep believin and waitin 4 d Mr Have It All or do i say Mr Right till yhu clock 40yrs and above...by then anytin goes 4 yhu....@ Harlequeen, a word of advice, yhu will never see a 100% of yhur taste in men but 1z u get upto 40-50%? Mold him into d Mr Right or Mr hav it all yhu ve alwaz wanted...tnx |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Nobody: 12:25pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:You sound rather proud with an unbridled tongue going by your choice of words. People are fully entitled to "their" opinions. It's a right not privilege. 2 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by SlimCupid(m): 12:25pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:I would like to buy you a drink. I find your lack of religious beliefs attractive, and it's the number one thing I look out for in a potential mate. I bet you're quite intelligent. Everyone has standards. Don't drop yours. 2 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Navalsadiq(m): 12:26pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:your not a serious person.young girls of these generation they will never learn.if your mother had adopted would she have had u 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by DonroxyII: 12:26pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:Stop saying he will be proud to have you Abeg .... if you marry for those criteria and God forbid, he had an accident and couldn't live to those criteria again , will you still be there or manageably be there or abscond or be sad till eternity !! ..... I also set standards, and no matter who a girl is if you lack one single criteria from my list, I will not take it to d next stage and will make you to drop me (We sabi how we dey do am) ..... All my cousins already crossed Arm for me telling me dem go see who I will eventually get married to ..... Deep down me, I know when I get to the marriage bridge, I know the critical points I would consider and cross the bridge already ... no time !! The real problem is, we can be a taste to many in terms of communication, conversation, Romantic, Masculinity, Professionalism, Academia and Career ...... A man worthy of pride by any standard woman but are you the lady he mostly and innately desires .... Don't you think a Dude of such criteria, with quite an understanding of how Favourable the woman market is available to him, would also want to select from higher brow beyond your present level ...... ..... @Harlequeen, this is the problem with most career oriented woman, you want the guy above board or at par meanwhile, he is eyeing the woman above board not even at par ...... All he needed is just to be the Man she wanted , she will do the rest !! ..... Meanwhile, a guy might not aced all ya criteria but will see you as a woman above his board and might wanna try his luck then if you reject such dude , how do u get married in dis present dispensation.... Every1 is avoiding liability ooo !! But who says God can not fulfil our innate desires, it is not your fault, this is Capitalism...... Every1 is chasing the best that can suit the heart !! 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Talk2tuns: 12:26pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:please with this your defined type of man & the set age from your father, I will advise you to focus on your career and be committed to it through that your right man will show face... Also be careful with one of your requirement, I mean traveling abroad take it easy... 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Nobody: 12:27pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Let me give you d best advice since you feel your dad is your muse for the criteria as you said go and marry him have a child then marry the in bred fool Useless tramp Harlequeen: 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by AntiMCU: 12:29pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Laurene: Just noticed you are anti-feminism. |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Nobody: 12:31pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
God bless you sir you have said it don’t mind the ungrateful woman she’s probably looking for attention na her Type the cause this bill they wan pass She de form Dangote pikin even otedola angels never quote this kind criteria DonroxyII: |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Harlequeen: 12:31pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
mechanics:being sexually active was not the mistake. Being with a man who lacked drive, who always had one excuse or the other. Who will still be sleeping by 10 am while i had gone to school or work. whose words and actions never matched, who was in a hurry to marry me and get me pregnant, but was clearly not ready to start a family , wasn't ready to wait for me. Till the extent that he got another girl pregnant. that was my mistake. 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Kingsteve(m): 12:31pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:Words of advice? Trust me, you won't be needing any advice when you're almost clocking 30 or above. Your standards will automatically drop like a plane falling out of the sky. Till then... Keep looking, I hope you find what you desire. 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Navalsadiq(m): 12:32pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Young girls of these generation they will never learn.if your mother had adopted would she have had u 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Seun(m): 12:35pm On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:I commend you for knowing what you want. Now you need to know what what you want wants. Talk to happily married men who fall into the category you're looking for and ask them what attracted them to their wives. Cultivate those qualities and then you'll be able to attract such men. 19 Likes 9 Shares |
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