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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls (51694 Views)
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Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Raylight2(m): 5:49am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Loladearewa01:we're in the same canvas shoe. I hope to find a solution here too |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by HowDareU: 5:55am On Dec 08, 2019 |
You are a melancholic and a phlegmatic personality type: creative, analytical, peaceful and introverted. OP, know your personality type. Read the book by Tim Lahaye |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by oxiide22(m): 6:26am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Loladearewa01:I can relate to this |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by EgusiShankly: 6:33am On Dec 08, 2019 |
wittyt98:clone |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Hypnotise: 6:39am On Dec 08, 2019 |
campusblack10:is that book really a good read? |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Inehmesit: 6:51am On Dec 08, 2019 |
SenecaTheYonger: |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by MissWrite(f): 7:03am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Introversion alone doesn't make it hard for a person to hold a conversation with another. In fact, introverted people usually have a lot to say, and are able to empathize better than extroverted people. However, introverts are more prone to social anxiety, and that may be the problem you're dealing with. I heard it put this way: introversion is your way. Social anxiety is in your way. Understand what it means to be introverted and realize that it is not a deficiency. It just means that you are energised by spending time alone while being in the midst of many people may drain your energy. Extroverted people are the opposite. There's nothing wrong with either process. Social anxiety, on the other hand, is a demon that you need to slay. With your girl, I suggest you don't get hung up on the fact that you need to call her. There are many ways to communicate with a person, and you need to identify what your best way is. Most introverts like to text. Because you can control the conversation better. Reaction doesn't have to be immediate, so you don't feel put on the spot. Therefore, you feel less anxious. But your SO still gets a feel that you're not indifferent to them. As you get comfortable sharing your thoughts through texting, then voice notes.......conversation becomes easier too. If, however, you realize that you have nothing to communicate at all, introversion or even social anxiety may not be your problem. Maybe you're just schizoid. As per, socially indifferent. Whatever it is, get to the bottom of it. All the best. 3 Likes |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by sharone21(f): 7:06am On Dec 08, 2019 |
I'm an introvert ( from childhood).... But, when I talk, no one can beat me on healthy, intellectual, versatile conversations/discussions....infact when I talk, people wonder if I have MPS( Multiple Personality Syndrome) a trait someone like Michael Jackson exhibits on stage vs @home. |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by 77up(m): 7:16am On Dec 08, 2019 |
In any relationship, communication is a very important key! |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Beeface(m): 7:16am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Omo we plenty wella Once talked for almost 3 hours with one babe like that during lectures,had to take paracetamol Try engaging in small talks often,ones where u don't need to talk much and with time you will get use to it....trust me |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Fxwarrior: 7:25am On Dec 08, 2019 |
lilwetdick: Lol. Talk on phone for 2 hours when its not a business negotiation? You will be surprised its small talks and the girl will be laughing like crayfish just to keep the bonzona going on and MTN smiling to the banks. Kile big deal? Op being an introvert is not a disease. Just be happy. There's a woman for you. Find a woman who shares your common interest and communication will flow. 1 Like |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Staru1(m): 7:34am On Dec 08, 2019 |
fun but true. most time you run out of speech ,maybe bcz ur environment is not conducive or u are finding it difficulty to let go d past. Bro, u need to be jovial to urself first b4 u can be described as a Jovian.....lack of concentration is d cause of no contents... absent of concentration shows that you're not a caring person......take more responsibilities, you will see urself being responsible.. even action they say,speak louder than voice(call)...managing 2mins for a start can be more like it......at least; u can ask some silly questions to get ur airtime exhausted. you can contact me to get the type of silly questions you can ask. |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by mechanics(m): 7:38am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Just learn to communicate with people freely, if you don't trash this issue now, it will affect you when you eventually get married, and you know communication is very important in marriage. |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Sike(m): 7:47am On Dec 08, 2019 |
I WAS ONCE LIKE THE OP |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by kollysnut(m): 7:52am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Loladearewa01: Oga go get beer palour frnds, those guys dey over get gist. Had the same isssue when i was in first year at school, but not i can go 4hours or more gisting from one topic to another,..... Advantage of beer palour frnds to me. Man up joor. |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by soleexx(m): 8:02am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Loladearewa01: To be an Extrovert is not a priority is just a way to make you make friends and enjoy urself with guys.. But now that you busy with IT its a very good thing |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by soleexx(m): 8:08am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Davidzy23: Turn down is normal... Ask 10 gals out and 6 we give u a chance... Tho the remaining 4 are just playing hard to get... They secretly want more pressure for you... And make sure you don't ask any gal above your level out unless u worthy of it... 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by soleexx(m): 8:14am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Back in the days I was Introvert but the funniest thing is that people doesn't seee as one because if I'm within a gathering of frnd or mate If I spent just an 1hour with them all they will be doing is LAFFING like a comedian is among sittings Everything I said or comment to is just funny the way I say it... So they laff and they always belive I'm open Not knowing I'm an introvert It helps me gain lot of relationship from ladies... |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Lugianostar(m): 8:17am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Some block headed nairalanders are out on rampage to showcase their level of frustration in their ill fated comments...! You have to learn to show yourself approved. They are books that will help you be a good talker and to be outspoken in every field of your endeavor starts with practice. |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Egoveen: 8:18am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Loladearewa01:This is exactly what I'm passing through |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by tonysunkan: 8:22am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Communication is always key to building and sustaining any relationship. One must learn the rudiments of communication. Meanwhile, for good romantic reading: Heart of Seduction https://publish.okadabooks.com/book/about/heart_of_seduction/30375 |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Emotionss: 8:28am On Dec 08, 2019 |
[color=#006600][/color] Loladearewa01: Op what you need is a girlfriend that is Introverted. I am more Introverted than you. I can stay indoors for weeks. I don't have friends and I don't talk much especially to people I am not familiar with. But whenever I talk, people listen. Thanks to my introverted girl we spent most of our free times indoors doing most of the following things. Reading Books Playing ( introverts can play a lot especially when we meet people that think like us) Planing for our future #Having small but intelligent discussions# Playing Games (ps4 and Xbox one) Watching movies Browsing the Internet Intimacy and so on.......... Being an introvert is more of a blessing than most people realize. GO AND GET YOURSELF AN INTROVERTED GIRLFRIEND. 4 Likes |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by DTC2(m): 8:55am On Dec 08, 2019 |
I have exactly same problem as Op, and it really killing me. I've read many books, gone for counseling and even prayed many times over it but still nothing has changed. Trust me Op, I know how painful it can be I wish you find solution to this |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Kingsley121(m): 8:58am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Loladearewa01: first off op, Are u trying to learn how to communicate effectively in every aspect or just to hold up a good conversation with a lady? Learning how to communicate comes easy and natural like me urine, i could call myself an introvert if i’m to go by traits called up by other commenters.. Everyone loves their space for sure, I could stay all day locked up in my room so far there’s light and food, but that does not mean i can’t hold up a conversation.. one of the above commenters said u should read books, see movies and listen more, yes that helps alot and it improves ur knowledge about so many things.. I’m someone that knows a lil about almost everything, having an encyclopaedic mind. Forget about the hogwash some people are telling u about making money that the ladies would all drool at u, make that money and u’d still not be able to approach that one person u so crave to have.. u might get beautiful ladies at ur beck and call, but not that lady ur heart desires. If u can’t talk with ur partner for more than 30 minutes on phone, i can imagine how awkward it’d be when y’all ar together under one roof. If u love someone, there’s this excitement and happiness u feel whenever he/she calls.. Yes everyone feels that and it only gets boring when both of u are bad conversationists. Learn to know her interests and all, be versatile too.. Lemme give u a conversations starter. U’re on a date with a lady and she’s looking all beautiful, then after the pleasantries and ordering of meals, u get piqued by her atunning hair You: ur hair’s lovely, is this what y’all call a weavon or a wig? She: *smiles* it’s a wig You: could u tell me the difference? She starts to explain, people get interested and feel knowledgeable when u ask them a certain question they know so much about, they feel they’re about schooling u and they assume a position of being intelligent. U could digress a little, probably u see a car drive by, u wow at it, ask her about her preference for cars, then lecture her why ur preferred benz is better that her preferred Toyota.. it all boils down to u being knowledgeable. If u’re good conversationist and u’re on a date with me, I promise u, u’d never be bored. Mind u, know when the conversation is one sided, that means she’s just not that into u 1 Like |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by womenareapes: 9:25am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Loladearewa01:hey! Never you change yourself for those bitches called Naija women! You will regret it later on! Instead see women as worthless piece of creature and you will see then coming your way. By the way! Only change yourself for God and not for woman! Apart from pusssssy women got nothing to offer 2 Likes |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by brainbox80: 9:32am On Dec 08, 2019 |
GOOD YOU HAVE IDENTIFIED YOUR WEAKNESS. ALL YOU NEED NOW IS TO GO OUT AND WORK ON YOURSELF, PERIOD. EVERYTHING IS ACHIEVEABLE BRO, JUST WORK IT OUT |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Deepthoughts: 9:32am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Loladearewa01:I have personally observe that most people that chat at length with ladies hardly keep secrets n can easily be manipulated by girls,so don't worry about not talking at length just develop the ability for frank friendly n humourous discussion not just with ladies but everyone. |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Slimzybeey: 9:53am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Fairview1:Many thanks for this piece 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by naijacentric(m): 10:03am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Loladearewa01:lol so make we dey run ni |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by gregyboy(m): 10:26am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Loladearewa01: Ladies would come who like you just the way you're .... And they will try to gain your attention and even raise conversation with you without you starting it .... But i still will tell anybody try to improve on your imperfections it will give you a wider range of ladies |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Vibesvbs(m): 10:37am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Soooooooooo me |
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by excessmon(m): 10:45am On Dec 08, 2019 |
Let me type the meaning of your statement It means hustle so you won’t have fun in life First order poor man advice SenecaTheYonger: |
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