Single mother challenge.
Take yourself back to the reason you became a single mother, will you travel the road again?
If so why and if not why?

Entry closes December 14. The answer Familanders deem the best wins $300 and you can participate from any country.

You all are strong.
You're all strong women.
Who didn't mind what society would say, and carried your shame with pride.
Y'all are winners.
You see fear of "what my family would say" " my dreams that'll be put to a halt" have made many young girls and women go through abortion... Painful D&C's, some would even loose their life in the process.
I won't criticize those that have terminated one or two pregnancies because at that time many had no choice but to let it go.
"Abortion is a sin" talambout bringing a child you're not ready to cater for into the world that's already had not being a sin either.
If I had let that foetus grow, I don't know if I'd be here or much better, but from a place of reasoning I had to take it out. And I don't regret my actions.
Y'all who fought and had it, are the true warriors.
May we never feel the pain, we felt again.
Women like WarriRebel. I Stan.

My dad refused me getting married to the love of my life then saying he is too old( 34yrs) and much exposed for my age .He was a personal assistant to Abia state Governor then. I was only 16 and felt I have arrived been fiancé to such person.He cherished me. Truthfully,he never touched me.

Few weeks after,,he traveled for business promising to convince my dad on his return. My father's refusal made me stubborn, I didn't want be around my home cos their over Christian life was making them see everything in another view,i cannot confide in my late mum without getting this look of you must be like a rev in this home. so i ran to my girlfriend's house. She was about 4yrs older than I was then but my body structure made us look like age mates. She convinced me to follow her to PH for her birthday party. Didn't know I was been arranged for her boyfriend's brother.
I was drunk ,first time anyways and he took advantage of me. By morning he was apologizing and professing love and wanting to date me... begged me to take him to my home I refused. I was confused,the love of my life is coming home the next week.how will I face him. I went home,my parents were angry with me but still didn't care to know how I feel, what I wanted but happy I came home alive.

Two weeks later I noticed I was pregnant,i opened up to my man and he said"mummy,do not ever ever tell anyone what happened,this child is mine and it's going to be reason your dad will let me marry you." We hide the pregnancy till it was 6 months,then he came again but my dad stubbornly turned him down again claiming my people don't give out a pregnant woman in marriage till I deliver.

After the delivery of my son whose birthday is today too ,my dad said he is free to marry me but without the boy. He made some underground plan to send us to his mum abroad if after talking to my dad with some relations and it didn't work out. He traveled to his village(Item) to get an uncle to help talk to my dad only for him to come back poisoned,he died two days after 6 months after,i got admission for a preliminary course in fedpoly campus. My parents took my child and I went back to school.avoided men like plague,finished my study then proceeded for my OND. After my OND finals, I went home for my aunty's burial,there I met my daughter's father. He tried everything for us to date and I refused then went ahead to tell him my story. He felt pity on me (so I thought Sha). He started visiting me in school more often, giving me listening ears and all that I lack from home.
I decided to give him a chance.

One month into the relationship, I took in, told him and he asked me to get an abortion because he is from my late aunty's compound,I ran to my cousin who is also his cousin and he called for a meeting. This guy who has been pestering me, traveling all the way from Abuja to Oko to see had the guts to tell everyone present that i am a good girl but he has a fiancé he wants to marry.
When asked the way forward, he said he will do what my people call "agbachaa afo ime"(no English na for it but a kinda way of he has nothing to do with the child and the amount for that was 20k then). I didn't know if I should start crying. I cursed him in tears.
My mum said her pain was she nursed this boy in question while babysitting her elder sister's children in that compound, his own mother pleaded with him to take me as his wife but he was adamant. My dad rejected the money,we left. He warned him never to smell our compound.

I had my daughter 29th January 2004 ,her dad had accident that day, shop burnt, container lost in the sea, the girl left him one month later for his friend then he ran back to me. Begged for marriage but no, not for me, all I did was lift the curse, out of joy he said he will never get married till I do and he kept the promise. My mum started pestering me to accept a suitor, to please her I did in 2013 and by 2016 the marriage ended.
So now,i am happily single.I don't ever want to get married.

This is how I became a single mum of 2 champions,though I will never let anyone I know go through it..

Taking myself back to the reason I became a single mother.. Hmmmmm let's travel down there shall we .
Once Upon a time, I became a single mom at 25, my baby will be 7 yrs by February. I never choose this path but I had a failed marriage because of the inability to bear children and the marriage was just 2 years. He left and remarried someone else. When pastors, parents and friends intervened, he told everyone bluntly that he cannot stay with a barren woman. His Dad called me a man. His exact words. My son can't be married to a man. I had just diploma then and I remembered how he robed that on my face saying I am cursed in so many ways. I can't be pregnant and I can never ever be a graduate.

I picked those words and was determined to build myself up. I used my handwork which is catering. I cooked for occasions, bake and hawk snacks to earn a living. Afterwards, I was able to save and get admission. I continued with the hustling as I do take snacks to school to sell and then hawk weekends and go from church to church to get snacks and food contract.

Second year into school, I almost lost my admission as I couldn't save up to my school fees and few days to exams, I had no hope. That was when I met the father of my baby. He assisted and became a good friend. We weren't dating but on his birthday, he paid for cake, snacks and peppered meat. He also invited me for his birthday which I attended. After the party around 2am, I couldn't go home so he gave me his sitting room to sleep.
He was a free man and so was I. Honestly, I made the move for sex and he turned me down but with so much pressure from me, he gave in.
I became pregnant and he was there all through.
After 2yrs, I couldn't marry him when he popped the question and reason being that; I wasn't in love, I still haven't gotten over my ex and I was still in depression and above all, I never wanted to marry him out of pity so he left.
It's been years, he doesn't call or assist in any way but I thank God because today,
I am happy
I am out of depression
I'm no more living in the past
The people that called me barren today, I proved then wrong
And 5yrs today, I became a graduate.
Life hasn't been easy but I keep thanking God everyday.
If asked if I will want to go through that path again, my answer will be NO.
Reason is; I want to take good care of the one God gave me. I wish to give her everything I never had, at least, the basic things. The struggles I went through because I had no one to support me to go to school nor cater for my baby, I don't want her to go through that and I don't want to go through that myself.
All I wish for is; life should be better so that we both can be completely happy.

I'm crying already but can't hold it back, out of 100 single mothers 30 were used some were raped and the few others were young and naive and didn't plan for it, although there are women who intentionally have child/children out of their own reasons, I'm not a single mother but I feel your pains. I have been around single mothers, my sister inclusive, I remembered the way she cried that the guy shattered her dreams and made her reject reasonable suitors that were coming around that year. Thank God for today and for everything. Although the scar is deep and cant be erased but for allowing it happen, there is a divine purpose and this I believe. God will continue to strengthen all Single Parent

I had a relationship that looked serious but he got a new job and he suddenly changed he later asked for a breakup.... I found out i was pregnant few weeks later,i was really sad and thought of d and c, after concluding on going for the d and c..a colleague at work started bleeding seriously at first we thought it was fibroid but we discovered that d babe did d and c but it wasn't done properly ,she lost her womb in d process.. I became scared and thought of having the child.. everyone felt disappointed in me but it really was worth it tho...there were 9t i slept hungry and in pain but it was worth it... birthing a male child as a single mother isn't that easy thought but it is worth it tho... Gotten a good job and someone i can tell bedtime stories too... Being a single mother is tasking but your child makes it worth it.

Interesting stories.

Please, keep them coming.

What's funny?

GrabHisBalls:
Interesting stories.

Please, keep them coming.

Pojomojo:
What's funny?

What's not funny? Was I supposed to use a sad emoji?

BRAVO to all Single Mothers in the House, you shall never know SORROW. Playing two roles in a Family takes a very Tough time. Respect to all Real Mothers

Well... having a child out of wedlock isn't what I wished and prayed for...neither is it what I'm proud about.
Nothing can really describe the pain and shame it comes with and it's not something I'd like to visit again or pray that someone else goes through...
I don't want to go into details because the it will take a whole day to read.
I was naive and stupid at the same time saying this because I knew fully well where I was coming from but still allowed myself to fall into such ordeal as young as I was. And truly I've paid the price in full! I met him while I was still in 2010. Foolishly fell in love , he was amazing and the best at that time, always there for me etc...

2 year after, I got pregnant, ran a urine test severally it was still positive. I still wasn't convinced, had to go to the hospital and it was indeed confirmed I was pregnant my heart raced and almost jumped out from my chest...
I had to inform him about it, and the response was "look for it if you can't find it... actually we were having misunderstandings as usual because of his cheating lifestyle which I'd always forgiven him for. Despite the fact that I wasn't at fault I still had to plead with him because of what was on ground already. He still didn't care about it.
I cried my eyes out, wet my pillows with tears until I couldn't take it anymore... opened up to my friends they advised me to go for an abortion and no one would know about it. I was scared and confused at the same time tried taking my own life severally and never succeeded because I knew how my mom was going to feel because she always and always reminded me of who I was and where I was coming from. I remembered all the promises I made to her. I remembered all she's been through for my sake. Within days,time flew so fast and I was already 3 months pregnant. Obviously, abortion was never an option because my doctrine is totally against it and my family too. I just had to turn deaf to the advise I got from close friends and one night, I summoned up the courage to tell mom. Just as I had expected she screamed and ordered me to come back home immediately.

On my arrival, the next day she kept on asking questions just to be sure that I hadn't done anything yet to the pregnancy.
That was how It all started.She tried all her best to make sure I was fine even out of nothing. She warned me never to contact uncle again because the day she did,the convo didn't end well.

Fast forward to when I gave birth. I still sneaked out to call him so he can come for the DNA test and probably pick up from there. and as usual, he turned down. 3 months after, I had to step out to look for a job in a super market where I was paid 10k every month, as God would have it, it was close to the house and he blessed me so much with enough nunu. I'd load my girl up in the morning with breast feeding, go to work , my break period will come and breast feed her and till evening after work. And ofcourse my mom would feed her with akamu and water each time she'd cry for food. Ever since, its been from one job to the other, even skills and mini business to keep pushing through because no one can hire and pay well even graduates sef But in all.
I'm happy that we are both fine and beautiful...
I'm happy that I've learnt my lessons tho in a very big way...
I'm happy to be the woman I am today...its not perfect and I am not where I wanted to be...but I know all my goals are not yet late to be achieved...
When I look at how beautiful, sweet, smart and how lovely
She is I keep thanking God for such blessing even though I don't deserve it neither was I prepared.
The pain... the shame, the mockery...the scars, the disappointment, the sufferings...
Were all worth it. It was never an easy experience...it has never been. It still isn't
She turned to be a blessing!!! Source of joy! been a single mum was actually a mistake but I wished there was no mistake!

SteveOfu:
My dad refused me getting married to the love of my life then saying he is too old( 34yrs) and much exposed for my age .He was a personal assistant to Abia state Governor then. I was only 16 and felt I have arrived been fiancé to such person.He cherished me. Truthfully,he never touched me.

Few weeks after,,he traveled for business promising to convince my dad on his return. My father's refusal made me stubborn, I didn't want be around my home cos their over Christian life was making them see everything in another view,i cannot confide in my late mum without getting this look of you must be like a rev in this home. so i ran to my girlfriend's house. She was about 4yrs older than I was then but my body structure made us look like age mates. She convinced me to follow her to PH for her birthday party. Didn't know I was been arranged for her boyfriend's brother.
I was drunk ,first time anyways and he took advantage of me. By morning he was apologizing and professing love and wanting to date me... begged me to take him to my home I refused. I was confused,the love of my life is coming home the next week.how will I face him. I went home,my parents were angry with me but still didn't care to know how I feel, what I wanted but happy I came home alive.

Two weeks later I noticed I was pregnant,i opened up to my man and he said"mummy,do not ever ever tell anyone what happened,this child is mine and it's going to be reason your dad will let me marry you." We hide the pregnancy till it was 6 months,then he came again but my dad stubbornly turned him down again claiming my people don't give out a pregnant woman in marriage till I deliver.

After the delivery of my son whose birthday is today too ,my dad said he is free to marry me but without the boy. He made some underground plan to send us to his mum abroad if after talking to my dad with some relations and it didn't work out. He traveled to his village(Item) to get an uncle to help talk to my dad only for him to come back poisoned,he died two days after 6 months after,i got admission for a preliminary course in fedpoly campus. My parents took my child and I went back to school.avoided men like plague,finished my study then proceeded for my OND. After my OND finals, I went home for my aunty's burial,there I met my daughter's father. He tried everything for us to date and I refused then went ahead to tell him my story. He felt pity on me (so I thought Sha). He started visiting me in school more often, giving me listening ears and all that I lack from home.
I decided to give him a chance.

One month into the relationship, I took in, told him and he asked me to get an abortion because he is from my late aunty's compound,I ran to my cousin who is also his cousin and he called for a meeting. This guy who has been pestering me, traveling all the way from Abuja to Oko to see had the guts to tell everyone present that i am a good girl but he has a fiancé he wants to marry.
When asked the way forward, he said he will do what my people call "agbachaa afo ime"(no English na for it but a kinda way of he has nothing to do with the child and the amount for that was 20k then). I didn't know if I should start crying. I cursed him in tears.
My mum said her pain was she nursed this boy in question while babysitting her elder sister's children in that compound, his own mother pleaded with him to take me as his wife but he was adamant. My dad rejected the money,we left. He warned him never to smell our compound.

I had my daughter 29th January 2004 ,her dad had accident that day, shop burnt, container lost in the sea, the girl left him one month later for his friend then he ran back to me. Begged for marriage but no, not for me, all I did was lift the curse, out of joy he said he will never get married till I do and he kept the promise. My mum started pestering me to accept a suitor, to please her I did in 2013 and by 2016 the marriage ended.
So now,i am happily single.I don't ever want to get married.

This is how I became a single mum of 2 champions,though I will never let anyone I know go through it..

You are strong sis, hang in there. You'll be okay soon, you'll see.

Thank you.

MizzPhoney:




You are strong sis, hang in there. You'll be okay soon, you'll see.

Kudos to all single mum. All I've read are stories of champions

Not here to compete for the 'single mother challenge'.
Just a few questions and clarifications.

If the husband or partner dies and you become a single mother, how do you change that?
Many couples are divorced, not married or separated, but they enjoy active co-parenting.

So, how do you define a 'single mother'?

Some women are married, but the husbands are not visible physically, emotionally or financially in the lives of the children.
THEY ARE SINGLE PARENTS!

A single mother in the strict sense of the word is any woman who decides not to KILL her child because of societal stigmatization.
If she decides to keep her child out of wedlock, and the father of the child is active in the child's life, she is NOT A SINGLE MOTHER!

The real single mothers are mostly widows and women with TOTAL absentee father figures for their children born out of wedlock.

Single mothers raise their children ALONE with no help from the biological sperm-donors/husbands.
They made a choice to choose LIFE not death.
Some would regret having children out of wedlock, just as some regret having abortions to stay out of being stigmatized by single parenthood.

A woman MUST choose and deal with the consequences. You cannot go back in time and change the present!

PerfectMatchNG:
Single mother challenge.
Take yourself back to the reason you became a single mother, will you travel the road again?
If so why and if not why?

Entry closes December 14. The answer Familanders deem the best wins $300 and you can participate from any country.

How do you expect anyone to pick the best from 'stories' that are not verified?

Unless the criteria for choosing the best is in its sadness and shock value. In which case, what we have here is a writing competition.

Touching stories.

Gives one a paradigm shift.

At OP, can you also create a thread on Single Father Challenge. Single Fathers too deserve to be listened to

PerfectMatchNG:
Single mother challenge.
Take yourself back to the reason you became a single mother, will you travel the road again?
If so why and if not why?

Entry closes December 14. The answer Familanders deem the best wins $300 and you can participate from any country.

This challenge won't produce the most desirable winner because you can not tell which is a true event or a good story writer. How then do people choose who truly deserved to be a winner? I have read some already and can tell you that I felt sympathy for them and will be biased to pick any as a worthy winner. Well if nothing, single girls can learn a lot from their stories because many will definately be in line right now about to be dupped by one devilish guy. That alone is why the challenge is okay.

If I choosed based on the one I deem best, I may not pick the best. Valid point @ the bolded

crackhaus:

How do you expect anyone to pick the best from 'stories' that are not verified?

Unless the criteria for choosing the best is in its sadness and shock value. In which case, what we have here is a writing competition.

Suggestions are welcomed.

bdchange:

This challenge won't produce the most desirable winner because you can not tell which is a true event or a good story writer. How then do people choose who truly deserved to be a winner? I have read some already and can tell you that I felt sympathy for them and will be biased to pick any as a worthy winner. Well if nothing, single girls can learn a lot from their stories because many will definately be in line right now about to be dupped by one devilish guy. That alone is why the challenge is okay.

Rason, I did not want to be the judge based on whom I deem best. suggestions are welcomed. Than you for your input.

OMG..... Imagine what some women go through all in the name of Love and with most stories I read here the only True love you have is your FAMILY anything outside that I consider as fake. I felt the pain and cried at some stories. Indeed women are the strongest creatures.
May God strengthen all single Mums and give you long life to enjoy the fruits of your labour....Amen

PerfectMatchNG:
Suggestions are welcomed.

Just a suggestion

They should send you photos privately:
1. A photo of the mother and her child in one frame with her username written on a piece of paper clearly visible within the same frame
2. A photo of the child alone as a baby (younger age if baby pic is not available).

You do the verification privately, then quote their stories here with the word VERIFIED.

Dearest Lord in heaven! May God bless you maamis...you guys rock

Mtcheew.
Single what?

If you're not a widow or a divorcee, I'm not interested in your story.

Divorced and widowed single moms are the real MVPs.

The rest? I don't give a flying fvck about them.

crackhaus:

Just a suggestion

They should send you photos privately:
1. A photo of the mother and her child in one frame with her username written on a piece of paper clearly visible within the same frame
2. A photo of the child alone as a baby (younger age if baby pic is not available).

You do the verification privately, then quote their stories here with the word VERIFIED.

You will be shocked that both married women will cook up good stories just to win. I think their should be representative from the person area to codedly verify the story.

Tales and lamentations of the dregs of the female species.



#Spits

hmmmm,most reasons wasn't because the single mums out there are promiscuous but because they trusted too much,loved too much and got disappointed at the end.

So mine was that, i met this guy while in school,we started dating,dated for a year and five months,he was a cheat and I was always forgiving, eventually broke up with him only to find out I was few weeks pregnant,i got misoprostol and mifepristine,but couldn't take the pills,dunno why,was in the hostel then,my roommates kept pestering me if I had taken the drugs but I lied to them,and no,it wasn't fear,my biological mum had me and gave me up for adoption, probably I felt I wouldn't be where I was if she had aborted me,or maybe I still held unto my affections for him and thought that would change him,until today I don't know the reason I decided to keep my baby,but in all,that was one of the best decisions i've taken in this life,though I dropped out of school,and had to get a job ,the journey wasn't easy,but above all I CONQUERED.


To all single mums out there,forget the societal stigmatization,you've carried a child in your womb for nine months,and gave life to that baby,you're awesome, even though it wasn't what you planned for your life,keep strong,it can only get better.

Purpletee:
hmmmm,most reasons wasn't because the single mums out there are promiscuous but because they trusted too much,loved too much and got disappointed at the end.

So mine was that, i met this guy while in school,we started dating,dated for a year and five months,he was a cheat and I was always forgiving, eventually broke up with him only to find out I was few weeks pregnant,i got misoprostol and mifepristine,but couldn't take the pills,dunno why,was in the hostel then,my roommates kept pestering me if I had taken the drugs but I lied to them,and no,it wasn't fear,my biological mum had me and gave me up for adoption, probably I felt I wouldn't be where I was if she had aborted me,or maybe I still held unto my affections for him and thought that would change him,until today I don't know the reason I decided to keep my baby,but in all,that was one of the best decisions i've taken in this life,though I dropped out of school,and had to get a job ,the journey wasn't easy,but above all I CONQUERED.


To all single mums out there,forget the societal stigmatization,you've carried a child in your womb for nine months,and gave life to that baby,you're awesome, even though it wasn't what you planned for your life,keep strong,it can only get better.

Your write up did not include if he rejected the child or not? Or you never bothered to inform him. Well the earlier people start realising that a cheat will remain a cheat the better for them. You don't forgive a cheat not even once. It takes two to tangle, if you can desist from cheating then your partner should wear the same shoe. But most times greediness and selfishness keeps us in the relationship until its too late. Some even call it love . At the end you carry your cross alone.

bdchange:

Your write up did not include if he rejected the child or not? Or you never bothered to inform him. Well the earlier people start realising that a cheat will remain a cheat the better for them. You don't forgive a cheat not even once. It takes two to tangle, if you can desist from cheating then your partner should wear the same shoe. But most times greediness and selfishness keeps us in the relationship until its too late. Some even call it love . At the end you carry your cross alone.

hmmm,that one is story for another day,he knows about the existence of his child sha

Graxie:
You will be shocked that both married women will cook up good stories just to win. I think their should be representative from the person area to codedly verify the story.

Ahh yes, this is true. I didn't think of that.

Purpletee:
hmmmm,most reasons wasn't because the single mums out there are promiscuous but because they trusted too much,loved too much and got disappointed at the end.

So mine was that, i met this guy while in school,we started dating,dated for a year and five months,he was a cheat and I was always forgiving, eventually broke up with him only to find out I was few weeks pregnant,i got misoprostol and mifepristine,but couldn't take the pills,dunno why,was in the hostel then,my roommates kept pestering me if I had taken the drugs but I lied to them,and no,it wasn't fear,my biological mum had me and gave me up for adoption, probably I felt I wouldn't be where I was if she had aborted me,or maybe I still held unto my affections for him and thought that would change him,until today I don't know the reason I decided to keep my baby,but in all,that was one of the best decisions i've taken in this life,though I dropped out of school,and had to get a job ,the journey wasn't easy,but above all I CONQUERED.


To all single mums out there,forget the societal stigmatization,you've carried a child in your womb for nine months,and gave life to that baby,you're awesome, even though it wasn't what you planned for your life,keep strong,it can only get better.

This brought tears