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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? (51564 Views)
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Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by YusufTheGreat: 2:10am On Dec 12, 2019 |
EngrMarve:what u r saying right now does not make sense |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by enicid: 2:11am On Dec 12, 2019 |
Well, I think since he said he has forgiven you but he doesn't want the relationship anymore you should be grateful for the gesture. I once got my girl in 2014 with her girlfriend's brother and I pardoned her and we continued with the relationship. She did it because she was seeking advice from the guy. In 2017 she repeated it with same guy, when I told her that she has been forgiven she decided to end the relationship because she was afraid that I might do something stupid in the future. So sister, try to be okay with the kind gesture which he has displayed. He is a real man. 2 Likes |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by Caseless: 2:11am On Dec 12, 2019 |
His ego bruised and trust broken. It's hard to forgive. Maybe u fvcked a man lower than him in looks and now he's saying to himself: this girl is a 'loose canon'. All she needs to go fvcking around is having a little issue with her man. She sees you and sees the man u slept with and sees many other imaginary men u sleep with. Once u cheat, u cheat forever because humans avoid what they have not done before , but repeat what they've done before. 1 Like |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by Caseless: 2:13am On Dec 12, 2019 |
enicid:some of you are the problems. 1 Like |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by DrDax: 2:19am On Dec 12, 2019 |
Butterscotch92: Please forget him and stop being so emotionally needy. Start a new journey on a clean slate. But my best advise to you would be to LEARN TO ENJOY YOUR OWN COMPANY. That is the foundation of self-respect. 4 Likes |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by Ghostnick: 2:21am On Dec 12, 2019 |
Butterscotch92:If he 4gives u then he's frm anoda planet. Mè way be say if my woman chat much wit my blood brother i go warn her talk more wit my friends na im u go cheat stil get mouth tel me to 4give u... I dey jealous wel wel because wen i tel u i luv u na u only i can give u access to my evrytin not my moneyooo, bt wia i'm bad at is if i caught u be sure we're officially done. Dats why i cnt build wat i cnt easily 4get wit any girl. |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by WackyJ1(m): 2:29am On Dec 12, 2019 |
Butterscotch92: It's difficult because We have been there before. I have forgiven a cheating girlfriend several times and I have heard several confessions, admissions of Guilt and Admissions of a desire to change but guess what. It didn't end well. The person had not changed. I will never do it again because for it to happen the first time and according to you 4 different times, then it means that the girl doesn't Love me or respect me enough regardless of whatever words come from her mouth. Secondly, Let's take a breakdown look at your actions from what you have told us here For a smart man, if you told the full confession to your man just as you had told us here then there are certain things that will not help your case at all with him. And I am going to explain to you in a way that no one on this thread has. 1. The fact that it didn't happen just once, not twice not thrice but FOUR TIMES. You didn't repent the first time, you didn't repent the second time, you still went to enjoy it the third time until something happened the fourth time that made you stop. It is easier to understand that it was a mistake if it happened just once, but the fact that it happened 4 times, removes any defense that it was just a mistake. I had a female friend who cheated on her boyfriend with another guy in a car then. She actually enjoyed car sex and she cried and confessed the next day but you? You enjoyed it 4 more times before your senses came. I'm sorry but I don't believe your moment of weakness storyline. It is not plausible and if your boyfriend reasons like me then you don't stand a chance. But I am not done, let's move on. 2. The fact that it was a married man did not even stop you. If you had cheated with a single guy that would have been a different thing. Your case is more than just betraying a man, your ex-boyfriend, you also betrayed another woman's marriage. It shows an underlying lack of conscience. Once again the fact that your conscience/guilt did not kick in until you had enjoyed the forbidden fruit 4 times shows that underneath, deep down, regardless of whatever you might think of yourself as a good person and all that, there is something there that is dangerous. Once again, if it was just once then perhaps we can understand your Moment of weakness angle but the fact that you did it 4 times with another woman's husband and that, that fact didn't stop you from going back the third and fourth time means that there is more to it than the moment of weakness angle that you are playing. 3. You had sex in a car. This part is a painful part for the man because it shows a general lack of respect for yourself. Car sex to the imagination of someone who is not involved in it looks degrading to the parties involved. Now, this is where you have lied to us, to your boyfriend and probably to yourself. Butterscotch92: Are you explaining the first incident or all the other incidences? If sleeping with him in the car was because it wasn't premeditated then what about the second, the third and the fourth time too? You continued entering the car knowing you had had sex with the man and then the sex continued. The fact that you did it the second, third and fourth time cancels any excuse about the first time not being premeditated. That fact is no longer relevant. Now it is just a matter of you loving car sex. But I can only imagine the excuse you gave for the second, third and fourth time. 4. Did you confess to your boyfriend that you have not cut off the married friend? I highly doubt it, I will explain why in a moment. But let us assume that you did. Considering the first two points, what does it look like? You had a moment of weakness with another woman's husband and this moment of weakness led to 4 different incidences of sex. AND YET YOU DIDN'T CUT HIM OFF What does that say about you? it negates your entire moment of weakness storyline. It makes your remorse look hollow and insincere. In fact, if I were in your ex's shoes, that singular fact will obliterate every possibility of us ever getting back together. You really need to ask yourself why you still kept in contact with the married man. Somewhere deep down, you're lying to yourself about something. Your remorse and your guilt were not strong enough to make you block the married man to help your case with your ex just like it wasn't enough to stop you from sleeping with him four times. 5. A woman never tells you everything. A woman's confession is only 20% of the real truth. This is this reason why I doubted that you told your boyfriend everything. If you had a moment of weakness that made you sleep with a married man four different times then you sure as hell don't have the emotional strength to tell your boyfriend the full truth. If your boyfriend knows this principle then in addition to the other four points that I have mentioned above then you really stand no chance. If your boyfriend has a friend like me, then you have zero chances of every getting back to him. I'm sorry but the best thing you can do for yourself and for your ex is to leave him alone and work on yourself. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by redcap: 2:33am On Dec 12, 2019 |
A shoulder to cry is a dick to ride on. woman, move on. 1 Like |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by Scottnedu1(m): 2:39am On Dec 12, 2019 |
It's not really unusual for what happened to you to happen to any girl; always almost at the wrong place seeking solace from another man when they are facing challenges in a relationship; it's just too unfortunate, they meet a SHARP SHOOTER that will claim a good man until he delivers his parcel. About forgiveness, he can forgive you, but forgetting is the problem; why? Except Na babe wey person no like, if not; every passing moment the guy misses u or maybe feels like; Let me just let go, he might just start imagining some things like; How him take Knak am? How she take scream? So another guy don chop my food for free?; possibly, the guy no send the babe wey I cherish, him just Knak , Re-Knack and he is seeing my Babe, my Babe o as who him fit do anything with.. A lot of thoughts that will make the guys heart turn to stone towards you. My advice; Give him space and time to think, he has to check if he really wants u back; of course, some people will forgive and u guys become stronger because we know no one is perfect; everyone bleeps up, while some will just let everything go. If it's the later, Nne, pick up yourself, u must have learnt a lot from it, if u by chance meet someone else that u feel mean a lot to u like the guy; I.e if he doesn't want you back o, TRY NOT TO Bleep UP AGAIN. Nothing pain guy like; My Babe met someone else and I find out. 1 Like |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by jayautos: 2:47am On Dec 12, 2019 |
Its deep |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by lordbest(m): 3:02am On Dec 12, 2019 |
Caseless:,y would u say such,without been told,d guy will dump d girl or will hurt her so badly in d future,she made d perfect and right choice |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by johnpaschal(m): 3:02am On Dec 12, 2019 |
you don't need to win him back my dear you just need a fresh start ... cheating with a married man is not something to take lightly just cut off contact with your ex and that perverted dude of a married man .....you were down and he took advantage of you .....I don't blame you cus I know how a woman feels when she's down and weak ...just a fresh start us all you need |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by AreaFada2: 3:03am On Dec 12, 2019 |
Ma'am sorry for your predicament. But honestly hardly any man can forgive. He might claim to forgive but he won't have peace of mind. He might even see you as a danger to his life. Who's to say your lover cannot knock him off to get you back? He paid your bride price ad your family gave you to him to be part of his family forever! It's not just about the "mechanical" sex but the fact that another man just chop his "jewel" clean mouth. Not once BUT MANY times. Essentially a second husband sef for a while. Also every man wants to sow his seed. If you watch NatGeo you will even see it with males of animals. That his wife could bring the child of another man to him adds to the disgust. At least a cheating hubby won't be able to deceive his wife into thinking another woman's child from outside is hers. Now we know that about 35% of firstborn kids belong to another man and about 30% of all kids belong to another man outside. A relative's three kids turned out not to be his. He died soon after accidentally finding out. So the consequences can be severe. I'm almost sure of one thing, if you had conceived by a rogue sperm from you married colleague, you would have covered your tracks VERY nicely and hubby would never have found out. Apportioning blame and torturing oneself won't help anyone. Better to come to terms with reality at hand. It's better he moves on if he cannot forgive to the point to trust, cherish and love you same way he did before. Better for you to suffer this pain now at once than suffer it slowly for years to come in the name of remaining together and he reminds you of it at every slight provocation. What matters is to forgive yourself and move on too. Good luck. 2 Likes |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by lordbest(m): 3:08am On Dec 12, 2019 |
Remain bless my broda...u hv said it all WackyJ1: |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by AreaFada2: 3:09am On Dec 12, 2019 |
Ma'am sorry for your predicament. But honestly hardly any man can forgive. He might claim to forgive but he won't have peace of mind. He might even see you as a danger to his life. Who's to say your lover cannot knock him off to get you back? He paid your bride price ad your family gave you to him to be part of his family forever! It's not just about the "mechanical" sex but the fact that another man just chop his "jewel" clean mouth. Not once BUT MANY times. Essentially a second husband sef for a while. Also every man wants to sow his seed. If you watch NatGeo you will even see it with males of animals. That his wife could bring the child of another man to him adds to the disgust. At least a cheating hubby won't be able to deceive his wife into thinking another woman's child from outside is hers. Now we know that about 35% of firstborn kids belong to another man and about 30% of all kids belong to another man outside. A relative's three kids turned out not to be his. He died soon after accidentally finding out. So the consequences can be severe. I'm almost sure of one thing, if you had conceived by a rogue sperm from you married colleague, you would have covered your tracks VERY nicely and hubby would never have found out. Apportioning blame and torturing oneself won't help anyone. Better to come to terms with reality at hand. It's better he moves on if he cannot forgive to the point to trust, cherish and love you same way he did before. Better for you to suffer this pain now at once than suffer it slowly for years to come in the name of remaining together and he reminds you of it at every slight provocation. What matters is to forgive yourself and move on too. Good luck. Oh SORRY you guys are only gf/bf sef. Hahahaha. That your guy na clown. Girls do KNACKATON until wedding night these days na. I thought you were married o. The girlfriend part escaped me. If he likes you enough he will forgive but may not easily consider you a wife material anymore. He already doesn't consider you to be someone he can have a future with. Maybe subconsciously you do not need him really but superficial/material things keep you hooked to him. Move on babe. |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by frozen70(f): 3:12am On Dec 12, 2019 |
Butterscotch92: You have confessed to him and apologise to him, if he is fir you, he will come back to you He too may have not been faithful too But gather your self and build your emotions |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by purpleprincess: 3:28am On Dec 12, 2019 |
Great6Pack:I think you are an idiot. 2 Likes |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by DonX001: 3:30am On Dec 12, 2019 |
Are you guys sure this thread is not Pocohantas at work with another troll account? Are you guys sure this isn't just one big fabulous tale spun by Pocohantas just to get guys commenting?? Cos she's said she will be creating fantabulous story threads now just for trolling's sake. And this kind of storyline sounds like it's right up her alley. |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by vic224real(f): 3:32am On Dec 12, 2019 |
I took my time to go through some of the comments here... Like seriously? Some says it will be very difficult for him to forgive? Like he's the owner of his life��? Why is it so difficult for men to forgive their cheating partners? If women can forgive their men when they cheats on them and still be in the relationship then why reversed is the case here? Men can cheat on their wife's or partners, when caught, apologized they will be forgiven but women cannot cheat on their husbands or guys and be forgiven. What a world! Well, if he like he shouldn't forgive her even after her genuine apology. You that you don't want to forgive, do you know that it's only by God's mercy that you're not consumed yet? Can you count how many times you've sinned against God and in His infinite mercy, He still gives you second chance? Who are you not to forgive? There's no perfection any where in this world my dear. Forgive her and get back together again if truly you still cherish this relationship. And to you the lady in concerned, for future purpose, be careful about who you confined in. Not everyone has that genuine advice you are looking for, even that so called colleague of yours is human, he also is not perfect. Forgive yourself first and then forgive him so that God can forgive you too! I hope this will help. Be nice to everyone! |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by Freshprime(m): 3:38am On Dec 12, 2019 |
If you forgive her STDs don't forgive |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by Sarang(f): 3:43am On Dec 12, 2019 |
I won’t even forgive once talk of four times.. Haba! Put yourself in his shoes nah |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by Sarang(f): 3:44am On Dec 12, 2019 |
vic224real: People are different. A faithful person “rarely” forgives cheating! |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by Sarang(f): 3:45am On Dec 12, 2019 |
frozen70: Or he may actually have been faithful. There is that possibility |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by Zedoo(m): 3:45am On Dec 12, 2019 |
its very easy to forgive you....but the problem is women cheat with their hearts... That other guy will ALWAYS have your mumu button... who is to say providence will never bring you guys to the same town again You are only 'safe' around your man. but you don't love him, he just gives you the stability of having 'a boyfriend'. if na me, if I forgive you. I CAN NEVER TRUST you EVER again and that's that. I can stay if we're compatible but best believe when I find a better lady I'm bouncing you out whether we're 10years deep or not...and that's on my mother. Every day I go dey think of how another man dey spread your leg like boarding school dinning bread....una dey kiss, dey smooche, you dey suck him deek. lmao. e dey drill you. lmfao. please.... You are forgiven but I'll never forget it neither will I EVER trust you ever again...and that's that 3 Likes |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by Ladycewhy(f): 3:47am On Dec 12, 2019 |
Butterscotch92:You sef, it wasnt a mistake ,you slept with him more than once na, it means you liked the thrill and fun that goes with sex in the car. Anyway,as a woman if you ever get caught cheating, if you are not married to him, leave that relationship for your own good, I call it self preservation. You see these men they are a classic case of "you cant take what you dish". A man can cheat on a woman several times and she will miraculously find a way to let it go and forgive, but you see men, they are not biologically built to be forgiving to cheating. A man cheating on you will likely even be more angry to find you cheating too ,you know why? They hate competition. Now you are remorseful ,yes but are you willing to be used as a "go to girlfriend"? I must say that guy is an honest guy for even telling you he cant have a relationship with you,if it is some of this demented psychopaths they will continue wasting your time while they search for another ,some will even marry secretly and keep wasting your time. You loose some you win some move on for your own good. You keep talking about helping him heal,do you know you need healing too? Your guilt can consume you if you dont forgive yourself ,it can even lower your self esteem and make you "over compensate" to the next guy you get in a relationship with which could be a very bad thing if there are red flags to be noticed ,this over compensation can make you blind to it. You should be more concerned about healing from your guilt else it will damage your self worth and turn you into a "man pleaser" in your subsequent relationships. He said the has forgiven you, but the question now is my sister "have you forgiven yourself?".How long will you let this guilt consume you? How long will you beat yourself up for it? Na prick you fuk, you nor kill person,dont go and ruin your mental health for it. Even the chronic womanizers are the most jealous of them all. You better get yourself together,see it as water user the bridge and forge ahead and stop this pity party. 2 Likes |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by lekonso: 3:57am On Dec 12, 2019 |
JERRY1925: |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by ScotMisile: 4:01am On Dec 12, 2019 |
The worst is that if he continues with you, he will be for ever depressed,even if he forgives you. Our pride is our woman. Women, pls do not cheat because your husband cheats.... we are not the same...you have breasts, hips,backside,mothwr of our kids, our family married you, our parents child, our ego....we run after you,We pay bride price, we spend on you, we protect you,so our reward is the exclusiveness of that secret garden..if not,then it all doesn't make sense to us.... Etc. No man forgives sexual sin from a woman. . Never ever possible.. .That love dies a natural death, buried and forgotten. It becomes irritating to us.. .we see the guy all over you. ..We hate the guy.... And I can go on and on and on. .... WE DO NOT FORGIVE SEX, FORNICATION, CHEATING, SIDE GUY.... . NEVER, EVER, NADAAAAA 4 Likes |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by lekonso: 4:02am On Dec 12, 2019 |
JERRY1925:Your advice is full of wisdom and God will continue to give and give you of His wisdom |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by AntiWailer: 4:27am On Dec 12, 2019 |
He is a good person for not wasting your years. MOVE ON. |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by Izigha(m): 4:28am On Dec 12, 2019 |
; Shibaraba: i feel you. hotel could hav been easier for the guy to swallow. car? you know say na only style |
Re: Is It So Impossible To Forgive A Girlfriend That Cheated? by Greyman11(m): 4:30am On Dec 12, 2019 |
Butterscotch92:First of all, I would advice you to really ask God for serious mercy, what you did has repercussion, we are talking Adultery here, let's not trivialise these things, you need serious prayers and you also need to threaten the man involved, because your actions is highly affecting another woman's home. You don't need a man now, you need God, I am telling you this because I know how this works, if you try forcing or having your way back, you will repeat this act over and over again. Adultery comes with a spirit, from your context, you are well aware that this your colleague is married and that might also be the reason your guy allowed you to be joining him in the first place. This should show you that in principle, he will not take advantage of a girl he is driving to work, you messed up the trust and sincerely, he is at right to demand space. I always advice people to talk about mistakes once it happens the first time, if not you will fall prey over and over again. Take it from me, you don't need another man right now, all you need do now is ; 1. Genuinely repent of your sin of Adultery and every other sins you have committed. 2. Receive Jesus as your Lord and savior so that your spirit may be renewed and the spirit of lust will not have hold over your life. 3. Ask God to help you work on your self control and be intentional about this process. 4. Seek deliverance so that Karma will not mess up your life, one thing adultery does to a person is that you will never have that person you love and cherish all for yourself as a husband even if he is a pipe, he will cheat on you in a disgraceful and terrible way, so I advice you leave this young man for now, work on yourself and God will help you find a man of your dreams so that you can marry and avoid fornication that will open your spirit to attack from spirit of lust that will lead to other forms of immorality like pornography, masturbation, Adultery and the likes. God bless you and if you need spiritual guidance on this, I can always assist you. Your redemption and soul is more important to God than leaving adultery and continuing in fornication. 3 Likes |
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