Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,201,593 members, 7,978,978 topics. Date: Friday, 18 October 2024 at 05:52 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) (52484 Views)
When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. / Boy's Converstaion With His 'Deadbeat' Dad About Christmas Gift Sparks Debate / How I Ended My Relationship With A Married Man (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (17) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by PataAlhaja(m): 9:12am On Dec 13, 2019 |
OP, you are nothing but a coward. As a matter of fact, you are worse than a prostituting bitch! You obviously ran to you "Dad" 'cos of his wealth and financial status while disrespecting your Mom's undiluted love and selfless sacrifice. That man is not your "Dad" in the real sense of the word. He's just a father; a sperm donor. Person wey neglect una when una need am the most. OP, you are a bitch! E be like say make I grab you, whozz you one hot slap. Mumu. 21 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by showafrica(m): 9:12am On Dec 13, 2019 |
IceColdVeins: You get sense sha, thats why. I married from a family like that. The wife of the man kept wailing what the man did to her, complaining, nagging, but the man will never tell you she had issues with the wife. The mother brain washed the children how there father chased women and bla bla bla. Inside me, i knew it could be true but was hyped. Now the man is gone, the woman will sometimes say, well there dad had his good side bla bla bla. I ve learned not to trust or believe women hook line and sinker. 4 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Sunsets: 9:13am On Dec 13, 2019 |
You need this healing this boy is searching for. Given, he shouldn't blame the mum because he wants to fix himself. He needs to fix the family. Its doable. No one is perfect. Mind you, also, I have a woman who painted her children father wrongly. But when the truth showed with time, the table was turned. We shouldn't allow our inability to fix a healthy adult relationship with our partners affect our children's perception of each other. With time everything will gas. Chi59: 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Sunsets: 9:14am On Dec 13, 2019 |
You need healing. PataAlhaja: 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Ryan03(f): 9:15am On Dec 13, 2019 |
chriskosherbal:lol, you even had a dad that provided for the family, your own good. My dad never contributed anything, I grew up to know he always tell us to go and meet our mum when ever we ask for anything even to our school fees. He was a womanizer (six wives), had fourteen children (he didn't cater for any of them). When I was 8, mum got fed up ( due to continuous beatings that sometimes lands her in the hospital) and moved out with us. He never looked for us till I was in js2. He tried forming a bond with us but wasn't successful because he was staying in another town. He died just before I could resume js3. How exactly do I forgive? Where do I start from? I try to act like it doesn't matter, peharps my mum did a good job, hustled for me and my sisters to the point where we are today but I know how difficult it was, I know how we go somedays without food, how we a were sent away from school because of books or exam fees, how we do trek long distance because we dont have t.fair and we couldn't afford a house in town hence we stayed in villages without schools, how we sometimes dont eat rice on Christmas day, how we dont usually wear Christmas clothes, how we depend on others to outgrown their clothes so we could have them. I try to forget those stuffs cause now we live more comfortably thank God mummy did her best to educate us so we could have jobs, I just can't lie to myself that I have forgiven him. It hurts, still hurts badly cc Luminouz 22 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by SmartyPants(m): 9:16am On Dec 13, 2019 |
BRATISLAVA: This is a simple thread on a man forgiving his father. Seems like you are on a mission of your own... Why not start your own thread? 3 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Sterope(f): 9:16am On Dec 13, 2019 |
It is already a generational problem. There are many fathers and mothers that abandon their children. Some seek for forgiveness and others merely act entitled. Sooner or later, no one would care about being a parent. Sunsets: |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by crackhaus: 9:16am On Dec 13, 2019 |
luminouz:It's astounding 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by emerged01(m): 9:17am On Dec 13, 2019 |
You just have to forgive and move on. I have found myself in such situation for 19yrs. I have become who I am today by limited resources of my Mum and by my effort. After 19yrs of not seeing my dad,when the idea of getting married set in,I looked for him everywhere till I found him in state i have never imagined. The first day I met him after 19yrs,he was shocked to see a man I have become. He couldn’t hide his excitement but the reflection of the past was seen on his face so his excitement didn’t last long. I couldn’t say much but listened to his stuttering voice explaining what led to the separation between him and my mum. Within me,I have already forgiven him so I never gave attention to his explanation because no excuse could justify his action toward me and my brother. It is over 7yrs own, things are moving well between us. Though my mum still finding it very hard to let go but I never let that affect my relationship with him. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by tchidi066(f): 9:17am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Late reply but i've got to say op did the right thing by reaching out to his dad, for how long will father n son be in enmity...when op finally gets married will he also elongate the family feud by keeping away his kids from having a relationship with their grandpa, I've seen separated couple coming bk together n living in peace, time healeth all wounds, his actions can also be a yardstick for his parents reconciliation. 2 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by edydeyemi(m): 9:18am On Dec 13, 2019 |
OP Nice of you to reconcile with your dad. My father absconded when I was just nine years old and was absent for well over 19 years. My mum had to work her fingers to the bone raising four young boys; we literally lived from hand-to-mouth. Sadly she passed before she could reap the fruits of her labour. True, I know my mother could be headstrong and impossible to get along with, but that in no way justifies my father for abandoning us for 19years. Well he came back begging a couple of years ago and I forgave him but that is where it ended. He lost all rights to a father-son relationship years ago. Would I have forgiven him were mother still alive? Certainly not without her forgiving first; I owe her that that much. There was a time he tried flexing and claiming rights, I blocked him out completely. Now he has realised that I do not owe him a thing (well maybe a little for sending us to one of best primary schools in Ejigbo then) and stays in his lane while I say in mine. I call him once every couple of months and that's where it ends; He doesn't know where I live, he has seen my son only once and knows not to call me unnecessarily. One thing I have learnt though is to Never be the man my father was. Once again, OP I salute your courage for trying to reconcile with him but never-ever let your mother feel betrayed considering all she sacrificed for you guys. Cheers. 24 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Nawtygrrlsecret(f): 9:20am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Hmmmmmm... Its pretty difficult for some of us 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Cyberleets: 9:20am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Mad people everywhere....most especially the ladies here. Fish brains It's a good thing op reconciled with his father... You'll never realise how difficult it is to be a father unless you become one!! My own father neglected me(not at my child hood)... He said some bad stuff to me... I decided to abandon him for life and probably change my surname sef. I wanted him to apologize but mum will always tell me there's no way on earth my father will apologize to me cos it's not right. She wanted me to call him and probably apologize myself, I was adamant. Long story short, dad finally called... Funny enough he called to tell me he has forgiven me...(not apology) We met and we settled things...it feels good really!! We all know it's hard for a man to hate his fellow man... We men are not wired that way unlike women that nag about everything. Look how they are nagging cos a guy wants to make peace with his dad. Just like me I think the issue with the op and his father is personal... 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by KanuSE: 9:21am On Dec 13, 2019 |
kallmemrB: I'm sorry, sense is far from you. Have a good day 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by NoToPile: 9:21am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Sterope: Its a valid concern that's just the truth and its because of situations like this, its not right but lots of women would endure all what not just for him to do his rights as a father, some even die in the process. Some are smart enough to take a decision and flee. In this case some are already stating it was just for few years he was absent what a lot dont understand is that the mum was both mother and father during those years , during those times he failed as a dad and thats it. My grouse is the OP saying he didnt get to hear his fathers side of the story for leaving them for those years, thats not fair. Theres no excuse for that abeg. Let him reconcile if he wants to he should leave his mum's suffering out of it. 11 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by technicallyrich(m): 9:21am On Dec 13, 2019 |
U think say i know no your sense.Life don had u,now you want to reconcile with your old man,so that you go enjoy some of him money. 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by SmartyPants(m): 9:22am On Dec 13, 2019 |
CHoccolaTE: Can you quote the exact place where he actually bad mouthed his mother?? 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by OBAGADAFFI: 9:22am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Why are some people here bitter that the young man is reconciling with his Father? 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Ladycewhy(f): 9:23am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Graxie:You see the Nigerian man knows no matter how much of a dead beat he is "the child always looks for his father ,male or female ,its even worse for a female cos they she will get married.,las las as a single mother ,you are wasting your time cos one dead beat father will be somewhere waiting to reap where he did not sow after years of you as a single mother toiling for the kids. Which is why the society has be more liberal on who collects bride price . Its just absurd that all the years of suffering for a child is erased because one dead beat decides to show up for a day. Why would any man even want to be a father to their kids when they can live their best life and still be rewarded with love from the children they abandoned all in the name of reconcilaiton lol. I wouldn't if i was man,and i am sure many men know this and have taken the liberty to as they like hence so many dead beats liter the streets of Nigeria. He is even the one apologizing for being abandoned lol .Dont be surprised that op might even accuse his mother of being the reason he had no relationship with his father ,he has already described his mother as a wailer and a nagger ,lol . 15 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by kevoh(m): 9:24am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Cyberleets:I swear I'm also baffled. I thought I saw a happy ending story, these lots just had to turn it into men vs women thread. 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Sterope(f): 9:25am On Dec 13, 2019 |
He is already questioning his mum's story. He hasn't told us whether he has affirmed her story before undermining it. NoToPile: 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Daeylar(f): 9:27am On Dec 13, 2019 |
All your posts on this thread. Especially this. Perfect. BRATISLAVA: 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Neddstark: 9:29am On Dec 13, 2019 |
IceColdVeins: Dad once hurt me. Im happy I forgave him. We are in wonderful terms now 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Kay512: 9:30am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Graxie: These words are deep! I have seen this happen both in real life and in movies. In movies, it always happen! 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by enawt: 9:30am On Dec 13, 2019 |
forgive but don't forget Reconcile all you want, Karma is waiting for him if he doesn't apologise to your mother or seek for forgiveness from God. Me and my Dad have a good relationship cos mum taught us to be tolerant, but sometimes I will just look at the mahn and shake my head cos I know it's either he apologise or karma will catch up with him. This life is a bitch Op seeing things from another point of view Believe me yours is nothing compared to the negligence, pain, suffering inflicted on others. Men are getting irresponsible by the day, our legal system makes it go unchecked.. So many just doing what they like with the stupid thing dangling btw their thighs. Like someone said, if you get too close to him, you might not see anything bad with what he did to your mum and consider it's easily forgivable. But mahn, nothing is easily forgivable, that's why you just have to forgive and not forget . 8 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Martinez39(m): 9:31am On Dec 13, 2019 |
BRATISLAVA: blank: Graxie: These are the malicious and wicked souls who insist, subtly, that op maintain the discord between him and his father. Even though IceColdVeins never mentioned specifically what his mum suffered in the hands of his father, they readily assumed his father was a cold-hearted beast who meted cruel and grievous treatments to his wife. Of course, these three women, in typical fashion, act like women can do no wrong and men are beasts. IceColdVeins, I congratulate you on bonding with your father. Do not let these three demons and their kind sway you from what you have done. It's a shame that they cherish the discord in family because of their "women are angels, men are beast that should be hated and punished" mentality. Notice how Graxie disdains the fact that children try to establish connections with their fathers (to hear their own side of the story and, possibly, reconcile) even though the mother brought them up. To her, the children distancing themselves from their fathers is an apt reward to a mother who brought them up. Notice how she typed "some will even claim you manipulated them" as though this is a misapprehension in all cases of parental alienation. To her, bringing up children is not worth it if they would try to make up with fathers in future. This mindset of Graxie is shared by all women, especially feminists. Also notice her utter disregard for men, hubris, and toxicity as she uses "sperm donor" to refer to fathers. No human is perfect. If a human being own up to their offences and past misdeeds and are sincerely willing to make things right, who is to say they do not deserve a second chance? IceColdVeins, carry go. CAPSLOCKED, Ubunja, emmaodet, JONNYSPUTE, AstroG, Omar09 16 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Ryan03(f): 9:31am On Dec 13, 2019 |
luminouz:the fact they most of you had/have dads who will move mountains for them doesn't mean it was same for everyone. I will quote you in a post so you tell me how to forgive such simply because he is a DAD. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Slurity(m): 9:33am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Romanoff:wicked girl |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by BLEMOSEDU: 9:34am On Dec 13, 2019 |
BRATISLAVA:What are you bitching about? Are you angry that he made peace with his father? So you want him to keep hating his father despite now seeing things clearer? Nawaaa o @op never listen to any negative opinion, one thing I always tell all boys/men is no matter the relationship you had with your father while growing up, never ever fail to find out why your father acted the way he did, hear him out before passing judgment, no matter what your mother may have told you about him, when you have come of age. Because what goes around definitely comes around. 6 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Amanda4life: 9:35am On Dec 13, 2019 |
BRATISLAVA: Thanks jari Money is not love. Its good that you have forgiven him. I hope you people talked about the issue, I hope its not because of his money you forgave him. That money may vanish any day, I pray you will not remember when he was intimidating you and your mum with his money. Most times women carry a lot. They stay in some very bad marriages because of their children. Let me ask you. Was your mum appologised to? Who knows the kind of emotional trauma she has been through. While the man was busy changing cars 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Belafonte(m): 9:35am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Omo, see wailing and gnashing of teeth by some people on this thread. They are suddenly realising that emotional blackmail hardly works and if it does lasts only for a while. Una never cry reach. Women that will always lie to you about something that you know and can see that you will be shocked are now sad that a man is giving his father the benefit of the doubt? F*ck y'all, really. If genders were reversed. They would still justify themselves and demonise fathers. One even said a child of hers would be dead to her if they went seeking their father . It is always about you, that is why children go to seek out their fathers years after. Something tells them the story you tell them is not complete, so they go to find the missing piece of the puzzle. Una go still cry blood. 5 Likes 1 Share |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (17) (Reply)
24 Year Old Jessica Edionwele Missing / Cheating Wife / Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady?
Viewing this topic: 2 guest(s)
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 119 |