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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) (52484 Views)
When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. / Boy's Converstaion With His 'Deadbeat' Dad About Christmas Gift Sparks Debate / How I Ended My Relationship With A Married Man (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Belafonte(m): 9:36am On Dec 13, 2019 |
So, IceColdVeins, did you have the talk with your dad about why things ended the way they did and why he took the decision he did? 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Nobody: 9:36am On Dec 13, 2019 |
KanuSE:u are a big foool...it would have favored u to ignore my post but due to the fact that u are destined for a curse u will look for it 3 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by midnighter(f): 9:37am On Dec 13, 2019 |
chriskosherbal: I am not trying to trivialise or dismiss the pain of mothers but the truth is that at times, they complain too much to the child and put them in the middle of things when that child doesnt even understand how the quarrel started. Its not the child's fault that you are unhappy in your marriage; its not fair to keep lamenting and saddling them with unnecessary emotional baggage. If you need somebody to confide in, to talk an adult who can properly console and advise you and dont keep dumping your emotions on your child Your mother had a right to feel upset BUT shouldnt have put her tears on your shoulders; it just ended up pushing you away at the end Its not a good behaviour at all; people should find the proper channels to field their emotions and not use their children... children are fragile to emotional stressors already without you adding your own 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Amanda4life: 9:39am On Dec 13, 2019 |
I'm sure no one is angry that you made peace with your father If you have made peace with your father while your father has not.made peace with your mum. Your peace is not complete 2 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Yankee101: 9:40am On Dec 13, 2019 |
This is cool |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by folks4luv(f): 9:41am On Dec 13, 2019 |
From the text message, your father didn't see any wrong he did, in fact, you are the one that needed forgiveness. This life ehn. If you don't want to come out ungrateful, you should let your mum knows you plan on re-establishing relationship with your dad. That wil show you respect her sacrifices 16 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Ayotemide(f): 9:42am On Dec 13, 2019 |
I don't know how to feel; perhaps I feel that this 'reconciliation' story is something that the deadbeat father should have initiated, one that after very much consideration and apologies to the very offended party (the mother) and with agreements on both sides, everyone is happy again. I cannot believe how your mother would feel when she finds out you are contemplating an expensive wristwatch gift and your pathetic apology for being born to a man that cared nothing for your existence. This is beyond me. 9 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Belafonte(m): 9:43am On Dec 13, 2019 |
bdchange: That's not her problem, her problem is that the child must hate the father forever. 4 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by PHIPEX(m): 9:43am On Dec 13, 2019 |
@ All these women badmouthing the OP's decision. None of you have bothered to ask the OP how his mother felt by his decision to forgive, you all are herding in gender solidarity. What has the OP gained all these years they were enemies? @OP, you alone knew the burden you carried all these years, nothing beats forgiveness and peace. Forgiving your father does not imply taking sides with him against your mother. Your mother has played a role in your life and deserves all her due, your father has been assent and equally deserves to be heard and forgiven. Make him a prodigal father and God will bless your hustle. |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Nobody: 9:43am On Dec 13, 2019 |
IceColdVeins: lol, did you just say wailings, dude remember she raised up to this stage ALONE!! .Why do I feel like you are trying to blame her for what your dad did to you?. Anyways I respect you for forgiving him & trying to reconnect that's very cool. And it's the right thing to do. Parents will always have their differences, as their kids, never pick a side( unless absolutely necessary ). As for me, am extremely close to both, know what each of them want, so every time we converse na blessings them they just shower me. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by KanuSE: 9:44am On Dec 13, 2019 |
kallmemrB: Sense is far from you and the earlier you knew this the better. 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Amanda4life: 9:44am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Thats why women in the western world, they care so much about their own happiness. If they are not happy in a marriage , they move to the next one, seeking their own personal happiness and not their children s. 12 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Randy100: 9:45am On Dec 13, 2019 |
CHoccolaTE:Why are you this pained? A mans root is within his father and the OP is right to look for his father. |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Nobody: 9:46am On Dec 13, 2019 |
KanuSE:no point...bark |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Ayotemide(f): 9:46am On Dec 13, 2019 |
midnighter: 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by BRATISLAVA: 9:46am On Dec 13, 2019 |
BLEMOSEDU:you are one of the bitchy nags I earlier mentioned. If you like abuse your wife and kids. The children will only return to you out of fear. And maybe they will learn to be like you. 5 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by KanuSE: 9:47am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Neddstark: It can only get better.
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Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Nobody: 9:47am On Dec 13, 2019 |
bdchange: That's why children should have a trust fund contributed by both parents. In case of a separation, the child doesn't suffer biko 2 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by BRATISLAVA: 9:48am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Ryan03:bro, this is exactly what I'm saying. They are just forgiving not because there is anything to forgive, but because they are now men(probably doing same thing) and he was a dad. Not for anything sensible. 5 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by BRATISLAVA: 9:49am On Dec 13, 2019 |
SmartyPants: It's a free place, you air yours I air mine. 3 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Nobody: 9:49am On Dec 13, 2019 |
BRATISLAVA:only a very uselesss person would ignore his kids due to any uselesss reasons.. Dont bother trying to correct him.. There lots of neglecting dads here... Lots of them that would eventually become deadbeat are here Parenting 101 never ever leave ur kids life 10 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by enawt: 9:49am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Most of these people saying, look for ur father, Reconcile with him, nothing wrong with it, it's either 1. They are terrible fathers themselves or will be 2. They have not seen what it's like to suffer from neglect, abuse, pain from a paternal side, that you can't do anything about it 3. They are religious and have clean hearts.... Those that fall in category three can't be much 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by KanuSE: 9:49am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Ryan03(f): 9:50am On Dec 13, 2019 |
OBAGADAFFI:nobody is bitter that he is reconciling with his dad (I can only speak for my self tho) but him forgiving his dad doesn't mean everyone should, I can forgive tho but can't do such reconciliation. Everybody papa different, some people are just sounding like you must forgive him because even him didn't have it easy. Like what da heck? What if my mum abandoned us the way he did? Where would I have been today? 16 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Ladycewhy(f): 9:50am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Martinez39:i knew i would find you here. I but i just want to say what i have been wanting to say to you , FVCK YOU old man . Call your gangs usual ,la la la la. Oh even the dead beat baby daddy is mentioned , i am sure he will be happy with this thread too. Rounding up the committee of deadbeat baby daddies nairaland branch ,lol 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Belafonte(m): 9:52am On Dec 13, 2019 |
crackhaus: The antagonism is actually ruing the fact that emotional blackmail isn't as effective as they thought it was when a child and estranged father are concerned 3 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by BRATISLAVA: 9:52am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Angelfrost:bro, this is a true problem. We have to do better, but look at how everyone is supporting the negligent father. It's like it is a right to do anything you wish to because you are a father and everyone will suffer, but they must respect you and come lick your ass or they will suffer same fate not realizing they are simply continuing the cycle of infallibility of fathers by apologizing even when the men are clearly wrong. 13 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Nobody: 9:53am On Dec 13, 2019 |
I had taken my time to go through the view of each and everyone one of you about this thread, each persons view is totally plausible but, if only all these opinions could be merged as one then we all would live a better life. The truth is I took interest in this thread and it's the first ever am to reply to since I became a nairalander why? Because am 30+ now and reading yet I just made peace with my dad about two months ago because my mum always made sure I avoided him, even while she prayed for me most times all she ever wanted was a promise that I never entertain anything from my dads side.my dad was given the option the chose between getting married or going to school, he chose school, then he and my mum were both secondarians when he got mum pregnant. My mum has suffered a lot and dropped out of school as a result. As a result, just last month my mum threatened to disown me when she found out I had been communicating with dad n family, I also got to realise that she had sworn that it won't never be well with him until he comes to plead with her and from the look of it all's not well with him. To cut it short, after her threat to me I summoned the courage to tell her that even if he is a mad man he remains my dad, one thing I promised her is he definitely would come to beg her forgiveness and then she remained mute since then and we are cool now. It's up to me to fix my dad and mum up now. My dad had is options and a young lad and made a choice that am sure almost every young man would make same and my mum felt betrayed and has suffered as a result of my pregnancy but, with God and a determined son this two could be settled someday. Point to take my dad has nothing to offer me financially but, where am from, your originality could affect you a long way, so I need that name. 6 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Belafonte(m): 9:54am On Dec 13, 2019 |
NoToPile: Women are number one on the victimhood appropriation list. This man hasn't even blamed his mum for anything. He simply mended his relationship with his dad and women are angry that he did that. 5 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by BRATISLAVA: 9:55am On Dec 13, 2019 |
luminouz:everything becomes emotional once you see the logic in apologizing to your oppressor. Your emotional standpoint that all women become unruly when their husbands are poor is your experience. I get that as men you must stand with men, but put that sentiment aside. So because he is going through hell he should put you through hell and later you will respect the hell he gave you because you are now a man/father and he was right? Let's hear something new that isn't male sentiment and retrogressive. You give too many excuses for terrible fatherhood 10 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by BRATISLAVA: 9:58am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Martinez39:when did the truth become malicious? Op specified his mother suffered, if only you didn't hate women(due to the messages preached to you in the RP movement) you might have seen that 7 Likes |
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