I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

No..contact my wife.

In as much as I don't support domestic violence, your effort at apologizing and sincerely promising not to repeat it is more than enough to make you guys come back to normal if she's a reasonable woman.
don't call or beg her anymore else she will see a good stance to manipulate your sorry ass forever.
She will come back in a matter of days if you ignore her but if she doesn't, find a way to make yourself happy. You can't kill yourself over a trouble she ignited. She will loose if she tries to make it a hard or competitive game.

There are many ladies young and old with very good character that will be willing to marry as second, third and even fourth wife.

SMH

2am? when it's not business?
she sabi shout, person like me wey no fit shout I no go open door atall. you wee sleep there.

anyway give it time and go back to begging her she would have calmed down and thought about her life, she will come back. unless she is convinced living without you is what's best for her.

Hmmm. this is tough
Thing is more of an altercation, a wrangle, a one-off loss of decorum. It can happen, perhaps under the influence of alcohol and pent-up anger. Your wife should know better. Again, more disturbing is the speed at making decision, a decision to exit the house with your child.
Have you made a mistake, Yes. Did you show remorse? is this error habitual? How can your in-laws invade your home and just take decisions?
Be a man, show love and support, but their daughter should be with them for a while, till everyone learn their place

Is your wife from a single home? What's your father in-law reaction about the whole thing?

She went into our room and locked the door , she was in there for a long time and the next morning , her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

Bros, this may sound somehow but you never get wife.

How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

Your wife needs a lot of counseling. Such an occurrence should remain between you. Some would say they can't hit a woman, it could be correct as long as they are not frustrated. Your show of regret shows you are a good man. All you need do is to keep begging her with the promise that it will never happen again. After accepting your apology, make sure you spoil her with gifts and affection so as to erase the unpleasant memory. Call us to celebrate the naming ceremony of your next child.

As much as you did wrong for hitting your wife, if it's truly the first time something of such ever happened and you've never maltreated her before, then she went overboard reporting to her family members and packing her things out.

Just contact her and apologize with a promise such won't happen again. It may take her time to heal. Let her heal.

No matter wetin you do brother, this marriage na manage e no go last. Sorry, but this is the honest truth.

A precedent has been set, so, at the slightest provocation, your in law's will March down to move their pikin.

Get smart...

If na me, na dem go beg me to come carry my wife back....

How old is this wife by the way?

NB

Please, if you are the guy who advertised a size 44 shoes sometime last week, or you know the guy in person, kindly mention me.

Dupalmer:
In as much as I don't support domestic violence, your effort at apologizing and sincerely promising not to repeat it is more than enough to make you guys come back to normal if she's a reasonable woman.
don't call or beg her anymore else she will see a good stance to manipulate your sorry ass forever.
She will come back in a matter of days if you ignore her and if she doesn't, find a way to make yourself happy. You can't kill yourself over a trouble she ignited. She will loose if she tries to make it a hard or competitive game.

There are many ladies with very good character that will be willing to marry as second, third and even fourth wife.

Ehn ehn.

I'm not surprised to see men saying she should have kept this within the family. na from clap dem dey enter dance. a man that can come home 2am and slap the wife that same night deserves no sympathy. na so she go keep quiet till it gets worse and he kills her.

naija men, Una try o

@OP, give her time, you can send messages containing your apology to her.

Op. You no try o.
That timing was not responsible. What if your wife went for a wedding or church program and came back at that time. Be consoderate.

Hitting her was adding insult to injury. It means you don't respect her or how she feels.


The best thing you can do is keep apologizing. She is hurt. Try and understand that.

Well as for me:
1. Hitting you wife is a sign of weakness.
2. Apologizing is a sign of strength and love.
But rubbishing my effort to make amends by involving her parents is a NO NO.
I WILL NEVER apologise further because she has made things even.
Whether she decides to stay or leave is her business but trust me I won't care anymore.

donbachi:
No..contact my wife.

Oga go and beg your wife. It's good to always control your temper.
When your wife throws a tantrum, just ignore than allow things like this happen. It's avoidable, for the sake of peace.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

You are still single abi? Okay. Imagine your in-laws throwing you out because your ex-boyfriend called you on phone. let's not even get into poorly executed cooking session or a gaffe about his tribe

You left her in the bedroom went to the Parlor and she still followed you to there. After you had slapped her, she now went back to the bedroom, locked the door and refused to come out. The same room she refused staying before she was slapped. Most times, na we dey cause trouble for ourselves

Dupalmer:
In as much as I don't support domestic violence, your effort at apologizing and sincerely promising not to repeat it is more than enough to make you guys come back to normal if she's a reasonable woman.
don't call or beg her anymore else she will see a good stance to manipulate your sorry ass forever.
She will come back in a matter of days if you ignore her but if she doesn't, find a way to make yourself happy. You can't kill yourself over a trouble she ignited. She will loose if she tries to make it a hard or competitive game.

There are many ladies young and old with very good character that will be willing to marry as second, third and even fourth wife.

The fact that she hasn't accepted his apology doesn't make her less reasonable.
Sometimes, when someone you hold in high esteem does an imaginable act you begin to wonder if that has been their real character. I neither blame the wife nor the husband, because we all respond differently to anger.

The man should keep apologizing till the woman comes around.

yomi007k:
Op. You no try o.
That timing was not responsible. What if your wife went for a wedding or church program and came back at that time. Be consoderate.

Hitting her was adding insult to injury. It means you don't respect her or how she feels.


The best thing you can do is keep apologizing. She is hurt. Try and understand that.

I like the fact that you hit the nail straight on the head. Not many a times do most men call a spade a spade in issues that affect their gender.

Dupalmer:
In as much as I don't support domestic violence, your effort at apologizing and sincerely promising not to repeat it is more than enough to make you guys come back to normal if she's a reasonable woman.
don't call or beg her anymore else she will see a good stance to manipulate your sorry ass forever.
She will come back in a matter of days if you ignore her but if she doesn't, find a way to make yourself happy. You can't kill yourself over a trouble she ignited. She will loose if she tries to make it a hard or competitive game.

There are many ladies young and old with very good character that will be willing to marry as second, third and even fourth wife.

Op, Please don't listen to this stupid advice.

Op you committed two crimes.

1. You came back home by 2am - a thing I'm certain you won't tolerate from your wife.

2. When she complained you had the guts to slap her to the extent she bled from her mouth and nose.

You deserve to be in jail.

Go and buy goat and 5 cartons of drinks to appease your inlaws and your wife else she shouldn't come back to you.

GraGra247:


Op, Please don't listen to this stupid advice.

Op you committed two crimes.

1. You came back home by 2am - a thing I'm certain you won't tolerate from your wife.

2. When she complained you had the guts to slap her to the extent she bled from her mouth and nose.

You deserve to be in jail.

Go and buy goat and 5 cartons of drinks to appease your inlaws and your wife else she shouldn't come back to you.

Cant you air your views without insulting people?

She was yelling me ,throwing hands and screaming at me . I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going


Haba, you're a human being nau - the bolded shows provocation on her part and she clearly threw hands first!

OP, your wife deserved that slap tbh and I think you've begged her enough. Let her go if she wants..

loveliveshere:

The fact that she hasn't accepted his apology doesn't make her less reasonable.
Sometimes, when someone you hold in high esteem does an imaginable act you begin to wonder if that has been their real character. I neither blame the wife nor the husband, because we all respond differently to anger.

The man should keep apologizing till the woman comes around.



I like the fact that you hit the nail straight on the head. Not many a times do most men call a spade a spade in issues that affect their gender.

The truth is for her to have been angry about the lateness showed that she cared.

If she doesn't care, u can come home next week and she won't feel it.

loveliveshere:

The fact that she hasn't accepted his apology doesn't make her less reasonable.
Sometimes, when someone you hold in high esteem does an imaginable act you begin to wonder if that has been their real character. I neither blame the wife nor the husband, because we all respond differently to anger.

The man should keep apologizing till the woman comes around.

She refused to rest when he was begging her to but suddenly rested when she got a slap. OK oo.

He should keep begging her until she comes around. I hear. goddess wife.
A virtuous woman could have called her husband to a peaceful dialoge rather than rant with angry words. Believe me a peaceful 5mins counsel could have been mightier than 2hours nagging.
It's not everyman that stands nagging.

When you remember how nice your woman is even when you offend her you'd make it a point of caution not to imagine offending her. Making her happy will be your top priority but when she wants prove rebellious my dear forget it.
If she Wan go let her go.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

Really? Is this the best you can think? well I wasn't disappointed.

let's assume you're the wife in the above narrative, you will feel defended and happy seeing your brother slap your HUSBAND?

with this hand, we shall read about your home someday on this forum.

I understand you, sometimes a woman can do something that you will really beat her. But after beating her when you are told of what you did you will know that you suppose not to beat her, especially she's with a baby... You can't win the case

Dupalmer:

She refused to rest when he was begging her to but suddenly rested when she got a slap. OK oo.

He should keep begging her until she comes around. I hear. Goddess wife.
A virtuous woman could have called her husband to a peaceful dialogie rather than rant with angry words. Believe me a peaceful 5mins counsel could have been mightier than 2hours nagging.

Thank you! I'm so sick of women's double standards and victim playing.

The woman kept following her husband up and down like a mad dog, shouting and insulting him - and he's expected to just sit there and keep silent like a veggie?

He is a human being and he reacted just like most people would... so annoyed that he was begging her sef, like she's some diety. Nonsense!

When you get married you need to understand that you no longer have the same freedom as a single man. It’s one of the many sacrifices you have to make, and if you can’t deal with it then stay single. As a married man coming home after 11pm/12am unless it was completely unavoidable Is unacceptable. This is when you’re not with your wife, it’s an unwritten rule. Now you need to keep on begging your wife, she will eventually come back to you. Please understand pride will get you no where in marriage when you’re the one at fault. Although I fault the wife for shouting in your face and disrespecting you, this is something you should also bring to her attention. Good luck

Op is not telling the full story
I want to hear the wife's side of the story too
Maybe op did more than slap, maybe he added a few blows or few derogatory words but unfortunately the wife is not here to tell her side of everything.
Maybe their marriage has been rocky for years now or maybe he has hit her before, who knows?

In any case, contact her with written and signed agreement the you will never assault her and if you do you will be arrested, that should be in the contract.

I am sure that one will be enough to convince her of your remorse

Bye

.......I don't give a flying Bleep about what you say. I assume you are very happy he came back by 2am and slapped his wife till she bled. I am not worried about my marital futuristic journey, stop taking painkillers for my headache....smh!

ugofulfilled:


Really? Is this the best you can think? well I wasn't disappointed.

let's assume you're the wife in the above narrative, you will feel defended and happy seeing your brother slap your HUSBAND?

with this hand, we shall read about your home someday on this forum.