Dupalmer:

She refused to rest when he was begging her to but suddenly rested when she got a slap. OK oo.

He should keep begging her until she comes around. I hear. goddess wife.
A virtuous woman could have called her husband to a peaceful dialoge rather than rant with angry words. Believe me a peaceful 5mins counsel could have been mightier than 2hours nagging.
It's not everyman that stands nagging.

When you remember how nice your woman is even when you offend her you'd make it a point of caution not to imagine offending her. Making her happy will be your top priority but when she wants prove rebellious my dear forget it.
If she Wan go let her go.

Like I said, people react to anger differently.

The man, a married man, came back home by 2am. That's enough to upset anyone. Maybe if the guy had apologised the moment he stepped into the house, and maybe gave the wife one or two kisses her rage would have been subdued.

Dupalmer:
.
A virtuous woman could have called her husband to a peaceful dialoge rather than rant with angry words. Believe me a peaceful 5mins counsel could have been mightier than 2hours nagging.
It's not everyman that stands nagging.

When you remember how nice your woman is even when you offend her you'd make it a point of caution not to imagine offending her. Making her happy will be your top priority but when she wants prove rebellious my dear forget it.
If she Wan go let her go.

This is fallacious

People have a tendency to take advantage of those they perceive to be weaker than them. I have seen sadistic people who started behaving worse when their victims approached them with humility, these sadists started respecting themselves only after they got served a good dose of their own medicine.
Some people don't respect people pleasers, they will try to take advantage of them more.

CHoccolaTE:
Op is not telling the full story
I want to hear the wife's side of the story too
Maybe op did more than slap, maybe he added a few blows or few derogatory words but unfortunately the wife is not here to tell her side of everything.
Maybe their marriage has been rocky for years now or maybe he has hit her before, who knows?

In any case, contact her with written and signed agreement the you will never assault her and if you do you will be arrested, that should be in the contract.

I am sure that one will be enough to convince her of your remorse

Bye

Why i go.sign dat kind agreement?
I see no need for any agreement

yomi007k:


The truth is for her to have been angry about the lateness showed that she cared.

If she doesn't care, u can come home next week and she won't feel it.

Exactly.. A father only reproves a child he loves.

The man might even do worse if the case were reversed. People should learn to dish out meals they can consume when served too.

LilMissFavvy:
.......I don't give a flying Bleep about what you say. I assume you are very happy he came back by 2am and slapped his wife till she bled. I am not worried about my marital futuristic journey, stop taking painkillers for my headache....smh!

Did I say I wasn't disappointed?

They always come back, just give her time

Don't take the advice of people telling you to ignore her.


Talk to your parent and let them follow you to her place to beg for forgiveness.

As for me, you will write an undertaken that you won't ever lift your hands on me again.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

If you were a guy or have male friends you would delete this rubbish.

CHoccolaTE:


This is fallacious

People have a tendency to take advantage of those they perceive to be weaker than them. I have seen sadistic people who started behaving worse when their victims approached them with humility, these sadists started respecting themselves only after they got served a good dose of their own medicine.
Some people don't respect people pleasers, they will try to take advantage of them more.

You see why everyone is different. Some people are humbled by peace talks why some take advantage of peace approach.
soem people get mad at violent outbursts and nagging while some get disciplined by it. Couples should know whichever works for their spouse.

You have apologised more than enough. I would advise that you forget her mother and go and explain yourself to her father with your dignity intact (don't grovel like you did with your wife). Ask him for his verdict and let him give you a timeline to come back for his response. Let him do all the work. If they decide that she is to come back, tell her in the presence of her family that you do not expect her to ever again call them into any disagreement in your home. Also inform her that as a man, you have a right to bro time once in a while and she should never again disrespect you by yelling and shouting at you as if you are a small child. If she has a problem with anything you do, she should learn how to express it in a mature manner.
Meanwhile, if she decides that she wants a divorce; as she seems to be somewhat childish; give it to her amicably and take care of your responsibilities towards the child.

By the way, having said that, I also think that 2 am is a bit excessive for a responsible married man to be coming home. And you should not ever hit your wife again no matter the provocation. If she follows you around next time, just leave the house for her and go stay in a hotel overnight, that will be the last time she would ever do it (from experience).

Oga you said you "took" the back of your hand and gave her a slap.

This hand must be made of iron to cause instant bleeding. Tomorrow you may "take" the front of your hand and now beat her proper.
No wonder the woman ran for her life.

Coming back at 2am is not ideal for someone that is married with a family.

I do not know what throwing hands means.
If she is shouting and you cannot take it shout hard too ,let your voice be louder so you both enjoy the madness together.

Or tell her you will not engage in conversation if she's screaming then lock yourself in the room till she's calm.

This apology you're giving now,if you had put this much effort into saying sorry for coming back this late,your hand would not have located her mouth.

Now the whole family knows you have twitchy hands.How will you now meet their eyes without shame. Budding wife beater is your new nickname.

Your marriage is still new,you both need to learn to resolve conflict in a less hostile manner.

A whole 33 year old man,5 years you used to senior your wife and you cannot manage your home.

Better go and watch war room.

*Your wife did well to invite outside forces since you slapped her hard enough to cause bleeding, it is also likely you would have slapped her again or even hit her if she had kept quiet about it(in your mind,you would start seeing it as the quickest way to keep her quiet),so my brother from now on, if something happens to her the whole world already have small insight into who dunnit.*

Some situations are simply avoidable. Keeping begging but don't come across weak.

Dupalmer:
In as much as I don't support domestic violence, your effort at apologizing and sincerely promising not to repeat it is more than enough to make you guys come back to normal if she's a reasonable woman.
don't call or beg her anymore else she will see a good stance to manipulate your sorry ass forever.
She will come back in a matter of days if you ignore her but if she doesn't, find a way to make yourself happy. You can't kill yourself over a trouble she ignited. She will loose if she tries to make it a hard or competitive game.

There are many ladies young and old with very good character that will be willing to marry as second, third and even fourth wife.

SMH!!!

daddytime:
No matter wetin you do brother, this marriage na manage e no go last. Sorry, but this is the honest truth.

A precedent has been set, so, at the slightest provocation, your in law's will March down to move their pikin.

Get smart...

If na me, na dem go beg me to come carry my wife back....

How old is this wife by the way?

You forget an important aspect, which is, at any slightest provocation, he wouldn't hesitate to hit her again since he has already started, what say ye to that?

speed99:

You are still single abi? Okay. Imagine your in-laws throwing you out because your ex-boyfriend called you on phone. let's not even get into poorly executed cooking session or a gaffe about his tribe

No correlation at all, Op hit her and she bled, totally different.

yomi007k:
Op. You no try o.
That timing was not responsible. What if your wife went for a wedding or church program and came back at that time. Be consoderate.

Hitting her was adding insult to injury. It means you don't respect her or how she feels.


The best thing you can do is keep apologizing. She is hurt. Try and understand that.

Thanks for this.

freecocoahubby:
She was yelling me ,throwing hands and screaming at me . I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going


Haba, you're a human being nau - the bolded shows provocation on her part and she clearly threw hands first!

OP, your wife deserved that slap tbh and I think you've begged her enough. Let her go if she wants..

What stopped him from replacing the slap with a kiss? Seems the op is not well to do or he has received financial help from his in-laws for them to be so bold to act that way. Sometimes we need wisdom to deal with situations instead of emotions. @Op you've begged. Allow the apology to sink in. I'm sure she'll come back, though u hitting a woman with a new born baby


I blame buhari sha

Dupalmer:

You see why everyone is different. Some people are humbled by peace talks why some take advantage of peace approach.
soem people get mad at violent outbursts and nagging while some get disciplined by it. Couples should know whichever works for their spouse.

Do you know if peace talks was not working for the man before so she decided to change her approach?
What if op is the type that is very stubborn and both peace talks and violent approach dont work until you do something drastic like leaving the house for him?

Biglittlelois:



You forget an important aspect, which is, at any slightest provocation, he wouldn't hesitate to hit her again since he has already started, what say ye to that?

How about she hearkens first to his appeals, and promise of repentance from a contrite heart? If after all, he hits her yet again, her entire community would be justified to invade his abode, mob him to death, and go with their daughter.

Thus, sayest I.

yomi007k:


The truth is for her to have been angry about the lateness showed that she cared.

If she doesn't care, u can come home next week and she won't feel it.

Lol true, and when a wife doesn't care, two things are involved:

Either she's doing same thing or

She's emotionally dead towards him

CHoccolaTE:


Do you know if peace talks was not working for the man before so she decided to change her approach?
What if op is the type that is very stubborn and both peace talks and violent approach dont work until you do something drastic like leaving the house for him?

If the OP wasn't a peace loving person he wouldn't have have apologized in the first place neither would he have tried avoiding her. Have you tired asking yourself what she wanted to achieve by shouting and following him up and down. She's obviously a spoilt brat and not ready for marriage. Who told her that marriage is all rosy. If my wife leaves home out of anger honestly she's not coming back. She had better stay and sort out things with me amicably.

fatymore:
Don't take the advice of people telling you to ignore her.


Talk to your parent and let them follow you to her place to beg for forgiveness.

As for me, you will write an undertaken that you won't ever lift your hands on me again.

Will this be after you have written your own undertaking to never raise your voice to shout, scream, or yell at your husband?

OP you did wrong. Keep apologizing. She might have been overwhelmed with taking care of the baby all day plus worrying about you. You went too far with the bloody slap. Don’t repeat such again. Most brothers/mum would do same as hers did. Domestic violence starts gradually...

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret . Me and my wife have an amazing marriage 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7 months old baby girl. She is 28 and I almost 33. Last saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling me ,throwing hands and screaming at me . I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry, I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didnt intentionally hurt her , I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry , and I was literally on my knees begging her . I tried to hold her but she refused. The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didnt mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door , she was in there for a long time and the next morning , her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house. I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I dont want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back . Should I attempt to contact her? What do I do?

Stop apologizing to her! You're just feeding her ego if you continue because as it is, she is already taking directives from her mother and brother.
And since she involved them overnight like the girl she is, then they are the ones you should be resolving this issue with.

Please see to it that you try to initiate some dialogue between yourself and her mother and/or elder brother. Whatever they say you should do (within the limits of common sense), is what you should do.
If they ask you to go apologize again to your wife, then do that once more for the last time out of respect for them.

xendra:
I'm not surprised to see men saying she should have kept this within the family. na from clap dem dey enter dance. a man that can come home 2am and slap the wife that same night deserves no sympathy. na so she go keep quiet till it gets worse and he kills her.

naija men, Una try o

All this illustration doesn't change the fact that bringing third party at that slight provocation was uncalled for, even after al l the begging, not even a usual occurrence. She now had to call the whole family on him..haba..


Left for me he shouldn't call her again,

crackhaus:

Will this be after you have written your own undertaken to never raise your voice to shout, scream, and yell at your husband?

That's different, why will he come home late, will he take that if I am the one coming in at that time and believe me, he has been coming late at night that was why she was angry.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

Slap my in law just like that??
what if the slap escalate and the husband retaliated by beating up ur brother u think everything is by gra gra.

thank God I'm not a stupid brother.

fatymore:



That's different, why will he come home late, will he take that if I am the one coming in at that time and believe me, he has been coming late at night that was why she was angry.

What I asked was a very simple question given the specific circumstances in this story, so I don't know what you're explaining.


Since signing an undertaking is of necessity to you, should this not be contingent on you signing one of your own stating you will never provoke him by yelling and shouting at him?

oyoolima:
[s]Oga you said you "took" the back of your hand and gave her a slap.

This hand must be made of iron to cause instant bleeding. Tomorrow you may "take" the front of your hand and now beat her proper.
No wonder the woman ran for her life.

Coming back at 2am is not ideal for someone that is married with a family.

I do not know what throwing hands means.
If she is shouting and you cannot take it shout hard too ,let your voice be louder so you both enjoy the madness together.

Or tell her you will not engage in conversation if she's screaming then lock yourself in the room till she's calm.

This apology you're giving now,if you had put this much effort into saying sorry for coming back this late,your hand would not have located her mouth.

Now the whole family knows you have twitchy hands.How will you now meet their eyes without shame. Budding wife beater is your new nickname.

Your marriage is still new,you both need to learn to resolve conflict in a less hostile manner.

A whole 33 year old man,5 years you used to senior your wife and you cannot manage your home.

Better go and watch war room.

*Your wife did well to invite outside forces since you slapped her hard enough to cause bleeding, it is also likely you would have slapped her again or even hit her if she had kept quiet about it(in your mind,you would start seeing it as the quickest way to keep her quiet),so my brother from now on, if something happens to her the whole world already have small insight into who dunnit.*

[/s]

Such a childish comment.. How old are you?

Fabinu:

Why i go.sign dat kind agreement? Tufiakwa

See nonsense talk, potential wife beater on the loose.

crackhaus:

It's a simple question given the specific circumstances in this story, so I don't know what you're explaining.


Since signing an undertaking is of necessity to you, should this not be contingent on you signing one of your own stating you will never provoke him by yelling and shouting at him?

@emboldened, who provoked who first? Was he not the one that stayed out late? Is she suppose to be meek and happy when he got back at 2am in the morning? Wouldnt you react same way if your wife did same?

I just couldn't ignore your comment cos it's annoying, and I'll continue to quote you whenever I feel like, so you can as well say your piece, it's a faceless forum, I can't have a grudge on someone I don't know from Adam.

Dupalmer:

If the OP wasn't a peace loving person he wouldn't have have apologized in the first place neither would he have tried avoiding her. Have you tired asking yourself what she wanted to achieve by shouting and following him up and down. She's obviously a spoilt brat and not ready for marriage. Who told her that marriage is all rosy. If my wife leaves home out of anger honestly she's not coming back. She had better stay and sort out things with me amicably.

Ah fada lawd, she's a spoilt brat and not ready for marriage after one slap made her bleed, how nah? And they say our mothers of old did a good job, see the kind of men we have o, so because marriage is not a bed of roses means she should expect slaps and bleeding at anytime abi? Issokay.