Op,try to make peace with your wife.Let your people know about this so some elders can follow you to your wife's place for reconciliation.

You didn't do well by coming back so late as a married man and most likely you didn't even call her on phone.
She provoked you by the continual shouting but next time,enter another room and lock yourself in(if during the day,walk out).There will still be more of this so you better learn to manage it.

Fountainofyouth:



@emboldened, who provoked who first? Was he not the one that stayed out late? Is she suppose to be meek and happy when he got back at 2am in the morning? Wouldnt you react same way if your wife did same?

I just couldn't ignore your comment cos it's annoying, and I'll continue to quote you whenever I feel like, so you can as well say your piece, it's a faceless forum, I can't have a grudge on someone I don't know from Adam.

That's your problem ladybug, not mine. I certainly make no effort whatsoever in trying to avoid being annoying to you.

And as usual, no one is saying we should hear her side of the story, especially the males here, we don't even know if it was multiple slaps cos ordinary slap can't make one bleed, except it's a thunder reseting one sha, still, we don't know her story, so let's not judge yet, unlike men dem already judging the wife, if Op was the wife, we all know how most male comments here will be.

OP YOUR WIFE IS STILL A MUMMY'S GIRL

crackhaus:

That's your problem ladybug, not mine. I certainly make no effort whatsoever in trying to avoid being annoying to you.

You can stop with the name tags, it doesn't suit the situation here.....

We need to hear the woman's side

Fountainofyouth:
And as usual, no one is saying we should hear her side of the story, especially the males here, we don't even know if it was multiple slaps cos ordinary slap can't make one bleed, except it's a thunder reseting one sha, still, we don't know her story, so let's not judge yet, unlike men dem already judging the wife, if Op was the wife, we all know how most male comments here will be.

a gentle tap to ur lip hitting ur teeth can burst blood .
Moreover her brother self no get shame, at least the mother should go first.

she for kuku tell her father to join..
hian.

danilmo:


a gentle tap to ur lip hitting ur teeth can burst blood

Evil people everywhere.

Hitting her was wrong. On no account should you raise your hands on the woman it could grow to become your worst nightmare. What if she falls and have head injuries and worse. If i were you seeing she wont calm down i will ignore her or leave the house.


Continue begging sha

Fountainofyouth:



Ah fada lawd, she's a spoilt brat and not ready for marriage after one slap made her bleed, how nah? And they say our mothers of old did a good job, see the kind of men we have o, so because marriage is not a bed of roses means she should expect slaps and bleeding at anytime abi? Issokay.

You didn't answer my question? What was she hoping to achieve when she was shouting and following him up and down and refusing to accept his apology?

Dupalmer:

You didn't answer my question? What was she hoping to achieve when she was shouting and following him up and down and refusing to accept his apology?

I would only answer your question when you answer mine cos that will determine how I answer yours,

How will you feel and react when your wife comes home from a birthday party at 2am in the morning?

Fountainofyouth:



You can stop with the name tags, it doesn't suit the situation here.....

Okay pum-pum

Fountainofyouth:


I would only answer your question when you answer mine cos that will determine how I answer yours,

How will you feel and react when your wife comes home from a birthday party at 2am in the morning?

She can't. I payed her bride price she didn't pay mine. Southerners are lucky to have Christianity dominating thus the ladies have Christian husband's. Would she react the same way if she was married to a Muslim especially northern moslem.

crackhaus:

Okay pum-pum

Lol smh....

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret . Me and my wife have an amazing marriage 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7 months old baby girl. She is 28 and I almost 33. Last saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling me ,throwing hands and screaming at me . I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry, I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didnt intentionally hurt her , I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry , and I was literally on my knees begging her . I tried to hold her but she refused. The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didnt mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door , she was in there for a long time and the next morning , her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house. I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I dont want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back . Should I attempt to contact her? What do I do?

don't call her back or do anything.....and watch her come back

you think she'll be happy to stay at her mum's place for long? of coz she will think what will people say?

if you go begging you'll just make matters worse and trust me you'll never be respected by her nor her family members. write this down

Dupalmer:

She can't. I payed her bride price she didn't pay mine. Southerners are lucky to have Christianity dominating thus the ladies have Christian husband's. Would she react the same way if she was married to a Muslim especially northern moslem.

Okay so it's a diick and bride price comparison now, how convenient, you just had to bring in Christianity and Muslims to prove what? That you're going in circles and haven't even attempted to answer my questions, what if your wife comes home late? Answer me logically like a man and tell me you won't beat the living soul out of her with a bleeding body, if I won't tell you how much of a high-ended liar you are.

If dis is d first time u are hitting ur wife.then, your wife went 2 far by leavin so soon despite ur apologies.

Fountainofyouth:

Okay so it's a diick and bride price comparison now, how convenient, you just had to bring in Christianity and Muslims to prove what? That you're going in circles and haven't even attempted to answer my questions, what if your wife comes home late? Answer me logically like a man and tell me you won't beat the living soul out of her with a bleeding body, if I won't tell you how much of a high-ended liar you are.

If she comes back at 2am believe me I won't hit her. I've never done that but I can't guarantee my continuation with her. It's men that choose whom to marry not the other way round. Women have a right to choice but it's limited.

GraGra247:


Op, Please don't listen to this stupid advice.

Op you committed two crimes.

1. You came back home by 2am - a thing I'm certain you won't tolerate from your wife.

2. When she complained you had the guts to slap her to the extent she bled from her mouth and nose.

You deserve to be in jail.

Go and buy goat and 5 cartons of drinks to appease your inlaws and your wife else she shouldn't come back to you.

ur comment is devoid of any iota of senses....really

Dupalmer:

If she comes back at 2am believe me I won't hit her. I've never done that but I can't guarantee my continuation with her. It's men that choose whom to marry not the other way round. Women have a right to choice but it's limited.

At least you are truthful enough to tell me this, but what will be your immediate reaction the moment she steps into the house at that time? I dey like wen people say reality abeg, no human will say he/she won't react aggressively, with shouts and all, Ahn Ahn, let's be truthful to ourselves nah, and if your partner doesn't react that way, means she's cheating steady, or you're emotionally dead to her, and if you're emotionally dead to her, dude, you need to run for your life.

Fountainofyouth:


At least you are truthful enough to tell me this, but what will be your immediate reaction the moment she steps into the house at that time? I dey like wen people say reality abeg, no human will say he/she won't react aggressively, with shouts and all, Ahn Ahn, let's be truthful to ourselves nah, and if your partner doesn't react that way, means she's cheating steady, or you're emotionally dead to her, and if you're emotionally dead to her, dude, you need to run for your life.

You don't know me. I don't subscribe to violence. I don't believe in using violence to solve issues even if she doesn't come home for days. I have a way of making weird decisions that could make her beg me to hit her and let the problem go.
I could dump her coldly and quietly then marry her relative or very close friend and rub the marriage in her face. Violence? Nope.

Dupalmer:

You don't know me. I don't subscribe to violence. I don't believe in using violence to solve issues even if she doesn't come home for days. I have a way of making weird decisions that could make her beg me to hit her and let the problem go.
I could dump her coldly and quietly then marry her relative or very close friend and rub the marriage in her face. Violence? Nope.

Violence- immediate revenge
Marry her relative or close friend-long term revenge
Same thing, different scenarios, but okay.

Fountainofyouth:



Violence- immediate revenge
Marry her relative or close friend-long term revenge
Same thing, different scenarios, but okay.

What would you have me do? Hit her?

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret . Me and my wife have an amazing marriage 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7 months old baby girl. She is 28 and I almost 33. Last saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling me ,throwing hands and screaming at me . I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry, I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didnt intentionally hurt her , I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry , and I was literally on my knees begging her . I tried to hold her but she refused. The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didnt mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door , she was in there for a long time and the next morning , her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house. I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I dont want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back . Should I attempt to contact her? What do I do?

Lets start with the fact that she made an issue out of it(You returning home 2AM). That means you have a wife that cares about you. Consider yourself a lucky man.

Also, we cant ignore the pesturing part of your wife but this is quite justifiable. Nevertheless, as a man you should never hit a woman unless it is a friendly one.

Your wife calling on her relatives to her rescue even though you claim this is the first time there would be a case of you hitting her is also justifiable. Although, a more deeply minded person would have chose to keep a third party out of her family affairs but still, we can not blame her as she felt hurt and needed someone to confide in.

Should you contact her? Yes, you should. She is still your wife and you need her in your life. If she does not want to talk to you, try get in touch with her father and explain things to him. He will calm her and in no time everything will be fine. After which, give your woman one hell of a treat.

Dupalmer:

What would you have me do? Hit her?

Hell no, the normal reaction should be shouts and insults, which the Op's wife did, that has been my point from the onset, he over reacted by hitting her instead of walking away.

Fountainofyouth:

Hell no, the normal reaction should be shouts and insults, which the Op's wife did, that has been my point from the onset, he over reacted by hitting her instead of walking away.

Shouts wont solve the problem as evidenced in the OP's story.
He walked away she didn't respect that but chose to be stupid. It earned her a slap putting the jeopardy.
Dialog would have been better

kulobyno:
Well as for me:
1. Hitting you wife is a sign of weakness.
2. Apologizing is a sign of strength and love.
But rubbishing my effort to make amends by involving her parents is a NO NO.
I WILL NEVER apologise further because she has made things even.
Whether she decides to stay or leave is her business but trust me I won't care anymore.

This is meant for the OP
See woman beater in training.
So, since you have apologized, and she is adamant, you will kuku build for yourself a broken home.
You better go and restore your home and prevent further stories that touch.
Or you think Nairalanders will live in your marriage with you.
However you make your bed, you, your wife and your baby will lie in it.

I think the problem is not really your wife but her mother who could support her leaving her husband's house with a 7 months old baby... So pathetic... Going for your wife is perfect and normal thing to do cus you messed up hitting her which makes you human anyways... But be careful of such mother-in-law.

Naija women too much film dey kill us....
D way she acted it's like she's been looking for an excuse leave ur house oòoo
Pls go n meet her and ask her what she wants...
U went to have have fun and came back pumped enough my dear no matter neva NEVA hit a woman pls no matter what.

Thank you for you advise. I never done anything like it before and I taught I could never do such a thing thing to her and I regret everything. Normally we argue like any other couples, she will be screaming and get really heated , I will leave the house for some hours and comes back later , and I keep myself under control. I know that if I don’t , she won’t stop either and things will get nasty. But on that night it didn’t go down that way , I was trying to keep controlled and explain to her the reason why I came late was 2 of my friends were drunk to the point where they couldn’t walk . I have to drive them home. She just wouldn’t stop yelling and throwing hands at me , I was so tired to leave the house again that was why I left our room to go to the living room. She kept on going and I yelled at her to ship up and leave me alone as she was laying into me, she screamed back that she wouldn’t that made me angry and I hit her.the pain of knowing I did that especially when it wasn’t my intentions is killing me and I want to show her that it was a mistake and I had no reason or thought behind hitting her

Saintmary:


This is meant for the OP
See woman beater in training.
So, since you have apologized, and she is adamant, you will kuku build for yourself a broken home.
You better go and restore your home and prevent further stories that touch.
Or you think Nairalanders will live in your marriage with you.
However you make your bed, you, your wife and your baby will lie in it.

She started building the broken home by being unreasonably adamant to apologies and even involving her people what nonsense.
She invited trouble and she got it coming. Some women knowing that their man is not a violent person often take advantage of that and push him to the wall. Everyone has a limit to patience and tolerance. Forget the many seeming chivalrous women wrapper all over Nairaland sugarcoating their stand whereas it's not coming from a sincere heart.

Most guys would break at such heights of provocation.

My dear don't allow unnecessary ego through people opinion of be a man to spoil your marriage,there no even better person out there,and she will also live her life to the fullest even though you're not with her anymore and is believed that once attempted it will continue,all you have to do is to keep begging and set a proof that it will not happen again.