Ekene161829:


Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy.

What do I do?

When you are married, stay married. A baby of 7 month-old and you left madam at home? Well done.

Some people will just be selfish about ones emotions, put yourself in her shoe. You came back late, which is wrong. She yelled at you because she was not happy at your actions. Instead of you to pet her and pleaded. you choose to ignore her thinking that's the solution. Later you slap her to calm her down. Bro you are weak.

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

A woman has hee mouth and a man has his fists. Let there be equal rights.

Na wa for some ladies with chicken brain oo, I hate involving Family or Friends when im having issues with my woman sha. As a matter if fact, no one should even interfere in Husband n wife ish. its annoying . People suppose dey interfere during straffing too na

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

You have appologosed to her, yet she chose to bring her family into the matter. What they want to achieve by taking her and your child away is to play on your psychology and box you in a corner with a possible undertaking never to touch her again inspite of her own wrong in the whole saga which they have not even addressed. I am certain that if you were still irate and uncompromising when they arrived your house (even forming it would still have been effectual), they would have opted to settle the matter between you guys.
My advise: Please ignore your in-laws while you privately reach out to your wife for resolution. Should she remain adamant, get ready for the long haul or settle with living under the control and meddlesomeness of your in-laws in the event you accept their expected emasculating terms. If you wait long enough, when your wife's mother/siblings will remind her how she couldn't even manage her own home during usual mother-daughter/siblings spat, she will come back to her senses. The fact that your father in-law was not in their company tells me that she calls the shot in her own home. Or is he late?Man up and whether this storm and win.

Some of you are not ready for this thing called marriage
common sense is not truly common ooo

You slapped her after coming home by 2am?
What is a responsible man doing outside by that time if not picking street h0es and sleeping with them

Her brother should have given you a broken nose for hitting her in the first place.
Marrying her doesn't give you the right to do whatever you like, she is someone's child given to you and not a punching bag.

Go and continue begging

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

Why are you talking like This?

Why will a house wife enter by 2 am when she is not mad.. The man doesn't keep late night, he just did... Man na hustler so anytin can happen.. No be to feed family be priority. If he stay for house truout, na una go dey nag nag nag...

Don't be too quick to chose side, u r matured na


He did wrong, he apologized.. The mumu wife quickly called her family, is this how mothers of then behaved


End time wives oshi

xendra:
SMH

2am? when it's not business?
she sabi shout, person like me wey no fit shout I no go open door atall. you wee sleep there.

anyway give it time and go back to begging her she would have calmed down and thought about her life, she will come back. unless she is convinced living without you is what's best for her.

that's what we are talking about. U wount open door for a man to enter his house. If na me and u, I will send u to ur papa house the next morning. Forever

RisenPhoenix:
You have apologised more than enough. I would advise that you forget her mother and go and explain yourself to her father with your dignity intact (don't grovel like you did with your wife). Ask him for his verdict and let him give you a timeline to come back for his response. Let him do all the work. If they decide that she is to come back, tell her in the presence of her family that you do not expect her to ever again call them into any disagreement in your home. Also inform her that as a man, you have a right to bro time once in a while and she should never again disrespect you by yelling and shouting at you as if you are a small child. If she has a problem with anything you do, she should learn how to express it in a mature manner.
Meanwhile, if she decides that she wants a divorce; as she seems to be somewhat childish; give it to her amicably and take care of your responsibilities towards the child.

By the way, having said that, I also think that 2 am is a bit excessive for a responsible married man to be coming home. And you should not ever hit your wife again no matter the provocation. If she follows you around next time, just leave the house for her and go stay in a hotel overnight, that will be the last time she would ever do it (from experience).

Best advice so far

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

no let d useless mother marry her

Finnese001:


Your comments sha, you never disappoints anyway

She must have come from a family of abuse and constant violence, that's judging from her comment.

anything could have taken you out till night so people complaining about coming late is out of it. You can have an unavoidable situation that can make you not come home till next day but my question is did you manage to pass the message to her (call her ahead) when you discovered you won't be at home early? if you don't that was the first error but if you did that should have calmed her down before getting home....

now if you have explained before getting home and she came nagging then she has a problem.. but because your marriage is young please keep apologizing because I know if you people have been married for a longer period you will understand yourselves...

in marriage you keep learning daily but the third party thing is a NO for me..

you people should be able to settle the issues without involving anybody except if you have be doing that often

Ladycewhy:
I am more concerned about the aftermath of this altercation ,you see the op has drawn blood, the pattern with abusers is it progresses. I am sure the op had a dopamine rush when he hit her and it has imprinted on his psychology ,the next time they have an argument he will likely see physical assault as the quickest solution. The op is now like a vampire who just had his first taste of blood and will keep looking for more.


If i were your wife i will take legal actions to protect myself from further assault before i return to live under the same roof with you.

Dopamine rush from slapping a woman?

Jesus Christ!
Where in hell do you girls get this bullcrap from?

Dodo5:
Op isn't plain with his assertion and y'all ain't noticing!!!

How many times have you beaten up your wife, because if it's just that once, her parent won't just come and pick her like that.

How many times have you been coming late at nights, she wouldn't flare up like that for just once situation.

My Brother, if you ain't victim of those, then definitely your In-laws are bad, and your wife has been telling them bad things about you to them.

leave them they only want you to learn your lesson, don't go and beg them, they'll bring her by themselves. she's off market already, and nobody will buy container with bad loads.
bye!!!

You started very well but you ended very badly. She is off market bla bla, don't go beg her bla bla. You folks attach too much importance to marriage that you often think all women must be in a marriage. Look up, those excuse are already getting old.

It is obvious that the animal of a OP merely told his side of the story not the entire picture. The OP cannot in all honesty say that that is the first time of hitting his wife. He also cannot say that that is the first time he is coming home late at night drunk to a stupor. But because of ya'll male-supremacist and female-subjugation tendencies, you are quick to come to the defence of your fellow woman-beating animalistic he-goat, you let reasoning be cloud your sense of judgement and start making the same old men-better-than-women rhetorics. Disgusting.

xendra:
SMH

2am? when it's not business?
she sabi shout, person like me wey no fit shout I no go open door atall. you wee sleep there.

anyway give it time and go back to begging her she would have calmed down and thought about her life, she will come back. unless she is convinced living without you is what's best for her.

sleeping outside once may lead to sleeping outside many times. since that is the first time of coming home that late, a good wife should just open the door, ignore him and maybe discuss the problem when she is less angry

xendra:
SMH

2am? when it's not business?
she sabi shout, person like me wey no fit shout I no go open door atall. you wee sleep there.

anyway give it time and go back to begging her she would have calmed down and thought about her life, she will come back. unless she is convinced living without you is what's best for her.

For inside the house wey dem build put you abi

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

Mumu comment, so if the wife brother slap him, the elder brother will marry her Abi... U r a bad woman n adviser

chinchonglee:

Ur dumbness amuses me!!!
Pray u marry a man dat will even be humble enough to apologise.
I came back to my house by 2am nd one nonsense person is yelling at me. Nt dat i went to cheat or...

You are immature

Acidosis:


You married into a wrong family. A sensible mother in law would call to speak with you about the ill treatment before jumping into your house. This is one of the many senseless things women do when they have no man in their lives. You won't see Father in Laws running upandan to settle issues without objectivity. Mind you, you never see wife o! Right now, you've lost all forms of respect from your wife and in-laws.

Not justifying your actions but two wrongs never make a right.

You have a point.

Emmanuel226:
true talk

So you supported that comment? And I ask, how long will the circle continue? Maybe until the umpteenth wife?

OgaBuhari:
na u dey fucck freecocoa?

Double standard from useless nairand men, Op most people supporting you are from broken home, damaged individuals who wants to see your child suffer like them. Anyway, ask your wife to come here and share her own part of the story. The tory never finish.

niaralandtopuser:
sleeping outside once may lead to sleeping outside many times. since that is the first time of coming home that late, a good wife should just open the door, ignore him and maybe discuss the problem when she is less angry

A good man should learn to respect a woman if you cannot slap your mother then do not slap any woman......I have no mercy for bullshit

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

. My brother you are at wrong here, when you knew you ain't coming back early, did you call her to inform her or you did not think she will be worried about you. We make mistake some times when you are married we men tend to forget about the feeling and opinion of our partners which is very saddening.. please brother she is a human and she has feeling, please consider her when next making a decisions

Have you concluded all marriage rites?
If yes, let ur family elders handle it

Two questions for the OP
(1) Have you been keeping late nights before the said day?
(2) Were you having extra marital affairs?

OlujobaSamuel:
Op, why you go slap her in the name of frustration? no one takes poison to subdue hunger.
She might have similar experience with her parents or someone close to her which led to serious issue/violence, so she might already have such plan even before getting married that once any Sign show up, na to move which made the decision very quick for her in few hours.
Just continue to plead with her.
Btw, ijakumo kin rinde osan, eni abire kun rin òru.(a beast walks not in the day, a virtuous fellow walks not in the night), which kind friends hangout dey make you enter at such ungodly hour?

Very true.

Shes immature. Leave her,she will come back

Honestly with the kind of contributions I'm reading here, the legislators would do well to prescribe more stringent penalties for battery and assault.

The op battered the wife and some folks here are seeing that as something that is normal!

In saner climes charges would be pressed against him, not because the wife wants a separation, but just to teach him never to settle issues with his fists.

If you wanna be a boxer or sumo wrestler, there are platforms that will financially reward you for fighting.

Only weak men lay their hands on women. If op sees his mate now, he wouldn't want to fight because "he no go like to collect"

You make nice points. He should have informed her he would be late.

obimag:
Once you are staying very late you would have call her and get her emotional consent. it would have settled the whole issue. Third party breaks home and have to be avoided. I will advice you to arrange a meeting with some elders or your priest and her family members with strong committment from both of you and take your wife back. There is no ego trip here. Your are the head of the family and must be man enough to settle this issue.

The way some of are following this is surprising especially ladies.
My own is that the duration of every marriage depends on the wife.
My advice to my fellow men, while your dating a girl and she has this habit of nagging over sml issues like when she call and may be u were busy and couldn't pick later nag about that after much explanation, going into your personal stuffs like checking who calls and texted you, etc my brother run for ur life.

As for you dude u kinda made mistake. Your a family man with a 7 months old daughter staying out up to 2am is very wrong. As for ur wife she really lack understanding which is very very bad for a wife. Over this little family issue she can just wave by and warn you not to repeat it that she is involving her own family.

Secondly you don't have good mother in law. A good mother in law would never involve her self the way she did unless you have that habit of staying out and coming back to beat her if not she shouldn't have come over to ur house and take your wife and child.
Maybe it's a way God is even telling you quit the marriage.

Finally No matter what the case may be never you hit ur wife. They might be annoying sometimes but try and avoid them blc u will eventually regret ur actions.

Sukueponmalu:

Stfu
I don’t hit women .
I hit “anyone” that verbally assault me!
Go to hell!

You see yourself you can not live in a civilized society...you will be in jail.........you have mental issues and you have to be psycho analyzed before you are allowed to live with people in the society...... I dont know how Nigeria operates but if you hit anyone were I am ....you will go to jail ......you are a shame and you are proud to say u hit people

So many children replying here,I came back late and I apologized, you keep on shouting and wailing, I'll go back.. I remembered coming back late one night and my wife was just talking talking, after begging her, I removed my bet say oya madam take and flog me, because I came back late. Nonsense.. Abeg at times you just need to easy off the stress and doing so. You need dey with friends