bogdaddy:
One slap Pere she don call family
Meeting untop your head her mama Dey spoil am sha she sef fit no Dey husband house so wetin you expect from a useless mother in-law

Mr Mike Tyson. How many slaps you dey give your own wife and sisters and mother? You sounded like you are very experienced at beating up women. Bravo Hulk Hugan.

Osyxcel:
As much as you did wrong for hitting your wife, if it's truly the first time something of such ever happened and you've never maltreated her before, then she went overboard reporting to her family members and packing her things out.

Just contact her and apologize with a promise such won't happen again. It may take her time to heal. Let her heal.

what won't happen again,the slap or the coming home late?

xendra:
I'm not surprised to see men saying she should have kept this within the family. na from clap dem dey enter dance. a man that can come home 2am and slap the wife that same night deserves no sympathy. na so she go keep quiet till it gets worse and he kills her.

naija men, Una try o

Women will always support her. The man is wrong I know, but the woman calling her mum and brother and moving out so early is where the problem is. Even the elder brother of the girl nor try self. Why he nor call the man and talk to him one on one and if possible know why he stayed out late I believe the man will open up to the girls brother. The girls brother would have been in right position to calm both mum and sister and warn the man never to repeat such again. Anyways if I am in the man's shoe now, I won't call her now. When her mind don' settle, when the urge to go back to your husband's house don't dey enter her that's when she will realise she took a very big mistake by moving out

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

Chill abeg. I know you miss them, but you've got to call her bluff.

Control your temper, next time. Would have been better, if you'd just left home again, instead of assaulting her.

Just a warning, your wife is immature and her family is aiding her. Your marriage will be fraught with issues

This is one disadvantage of bn gentle from onset, your wife has no idea of what most women see in their matrimonial home .. You came back 2am does not warrant her all that. And you equally made a big mistake by hitting her( I would d same anyway if my wife quarrels me round the house) but your apologies ought to have healed her.
There's something you have to do, stand firm and do not bother to call or apologise again . Her mom n bro did a bad parental job as far as you don't beat her before . Allow them to marry their daughter while you focus on whatever you 're doing. It won't easy for you but you must protect your strength as a man of the house. If you fall for them now, your wife will automatically become the man of the house ...
Be assured she will find away to come back home .infact in less than a month her mom 'll offend her then she 'll find way her home

luminouz:

Dopamine rush from slapping a woman?

Jesus Christ!
Where in hell do you girls get this bullcrap from?

It cant make sense to you cos you are ignorant of psychological patterns and circles of abuse.Ever wondered why an abused person will tell you their abusers were never like that, cos it starts a with like the op , a little back hand slap to face hand slap to blows and so on. She has done well to protect herself from further abuse and if the op doesn't work on himself ,he will likely degenerate into someone that resolves arguments with his fists instead of this words.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

thats the reason you are not maraid yet. If husband nor look for u make u look for husband. Make u nor shame

Acidosis:


You married into a wrong family. A sensible mother in law would call to speak with you about the ill treatment before jumping into your house. This is one of the many senseless things women do when they have no man in their lives. You won't see Father in Laws running upandan to settle issues without objectivity. Mind you, you never see wife o! Right now, you've lost all forms of respect from your wife and in-laws.

Not justifying your actions but two wrongs never make a right.

Acidosis, how can you reason like this? So if my family have thieves amongst us, then automatically all of us in the family are thieves?

Wow, what an analogy and fast paced logic. He lost all respect due him immediately he raised his hand on his wife.

How would he feel if another man did that to his wife?

xendra:
I'm not surprised to see men saying she should have kept this within the family. na from clap dem dey enter dance. a man that can come home 2am and slap the wife that same night deserves no sympathy. na so she go keep quiet till it gets worse and he kills her.

naija men, Una try o

You can pick the area you choose to read, we all knows from what he said, he left the room and clearly don't want to get into it.

A reasonable woman will wait till the next day before engaging the man, now when he leaves the room, that should tell her that, its not a good time to talk about it.

You know women love this emotional blackmail thing, sometime what you say is worse than the slap you receive from the man, but nobody talks about that, the emotional pain inflicted by your consistence shouting and abuse is worse.

I in no way condom what he did, a married man should know when to leave a party, latest 10 pm, you are out, but sometimes things don't work out the way it should, you might even leave 10 pm and car broke down, there is an attack and you have to wait, lots of things can happen, a woman should put the need of understanding the situation before reacting to the events.

That's one of the reason most women of this generation are just dumb faces, some with certificates but nothing in their head to show for it, logic is very critical in marriage, if you can't control yourself, you shouldn't be married in the first place.


Now for you, the Poster, my advice should you choose to listen, don't! I repeat Don't go over to her parents house to apologies, that is the first sign of weakness, you may think it doesn't matter, but it does, women are creature that follow habits, if she succeed now, there is a good chance it will happen again. (Not to sound stereotypical, She's YORUBA, that is their trade mark) DON'T GO THERE TO BEG, TRUST ME, IT HAS HAPPENED TO AN UNCLE, SHE WILL ALWAYS LOOK FOR A REASON TO GO BACK!

This is what you should do, call the your wife and apologies for the last time and if she still refuse, ask her what she want, does she want a divorce trust me, the thought of you moving on will bring her to her senses quick. Of course she won't want to give an answer, tell her, you need an answer, after seven days, call her, tell her if she doesn't give you an answer within 7 days you will engage a lawyer. (If you think you will loose her, waiting will only make you loose both her and your kid, I know lots of guys that in your situation).

DO NOT GO TO HER PARENT HOUSE TO BEG! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, OR YOU WILL LIVE IN BONDAGE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

Few sensible comments here...


The rest are from testosterone fuelled diatribes from men and progesterone overdosed women who couldn't keep their emotions apart and logically dissect the issue.

In the end,OP will end up being more confused about what to do.


*sighs*

nairalanduseles:


You see yourself you can not live in a civilized society...you will be in jail.........you have mental issues and you have to be psycho analyzed before you are allowed to live with people in the society...... I dont know how Nigeria operates but if you hit anyone were I am ....you will go to jail ......you are a shame and you are proud to say u hit people

Lmao.
People that verbally assault people are civilised. I can see that you’re very sensible.
Lmfao.
You cannot live where I am, you would be dead.
You cannot go around assaulting people verbally and live long.
Even the police would shoot you if you assault them verbally.

A wise man once said nothing! Argue with your ancestors

maryjames9:


Mr Mike Tyson. How many slaps you dey give your own wife and sisters and mother? You sounded like you are very experienced at beating up women. Bravo Hulk Hugan.

freecocoahubby:


Thank you! I'm so sick of women's double standards and victim playing.

The woman kept following her husband up and down like a mad dog, shouting and insulting him - and he's expected to just sit there and keep silent like a veggie?

He is a human being and he reacted just like most people would... so annoyed that he was begging her sef, like she's some diety. Nonsense!

. Maybe d OP has never kept late night before. She might have thought he is hanging out with some other lady what do you expert her to think at that time of d day. i know d slap wasnt deliberate and maybe she shouldnt have involve her family.. @ Op pls go for her, explain to them whAt happen because i know she must kept d part she playd.Then when you are home with ur wife set some rules and also tell her dat this will definitely b d first and last you wil ever come for her on any misunderstanding dat wasnt 100% your fault, and pls try not to keep latenight again because dats d genesis of d whole problem. We women hate dat with passion cos i will just add extra 1hr for you to be knocking. i fit nag biko

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

That's very immature of her Mother
I expected her as an elder to calm the situation by talking to you both. What kind of precedence is she setting by permitting her daughter walk out of the marriage.
Oga she is your wife, you paid her bride price and fulfilled all requirements,
Her mother has no right whatsoever to invade your home and cart away your property you paid for without a meeting with both families.
Man up and ask for your wife back or they refund all you spent on due process to marry her

Mutemenot:
This is one disadvantage of bn gentle from onset, your wife has no idea of what most women see in their matrimonial home .. You came back 2am does not warrant her all that. And you equally made a big mistake by hitting her( I would d same anyway if my wife quarrels me round the house) but your apologies ought to have healed her.
There's something you have to do, stand firm and do not bother to call or apologise again . Her mom n bro did a bad parental job as far as you don't beat her before . Allow them to marry their daughter while you focus on whatever you 're doing. It won't easy for you but you must protect your strength as a man of the house. If you fall for them now, your wife will automatically become the man of the house ...
Be assured she will find away to come back home .infact in less than a month her mom 'll offend her then she 'll find way her home

The brother and mother did a poor job, no problem.

Let's tackle the issue from the word GO. He was obviously under the influence of alcohol. Period.

xendra:
SMH

2am? when it's not business?
she sabi shout, person like me wey no fit shout I no go open door atall. you wee sleep there.

anyway give it time and go back to begging her she would have calmed down and thought about her life, she will come back. unless she is convinced living without you is what's best for her.

You reminds me of my relative ,he returned home late,his wife refused to open d door..he returned to look for where he can sleep but had accident n died. Two wrongs cannot make I right

I really wonder why some women don't have sense. A women starts yelling on her husband and the man leaves her to go cool down in another location and yet instead of the woman to know that the man is walking away from a toxic environment to avoid an escalation, she follows him there to continue her assault. What was she expecting? Well like someone said silence is best applied in such situations. No matter what happens the man ll always be blamed once he hits her... So it's either you go mute and deaf to her rants, you walk away, or just try calming her down by calling her sweet names and petting her...most times that's even when the best way to get her to leave u alone and allow u rest at that moment.
This reminds me of an incident in my estate where a man like op came home late, pregnant wife got furious and unleashed a verbal onslaught that the man had to lock himself in one of the rooms and endure wife's insults and door banging till day break. In the morning he got dressed, unlocked the door and was about to step out when she resumed and things got out of hand, she grabbed his phones and smashed them on the ground. Man got furious dragged her to the veranda , pulled his belt and gave her serious ass flogging. Now throughout the night everyone was hearing the insults and disturbance the woman was causing nobody came out to talk to her or calm her down, but as soon as he started flogging her and she started crying, see neighbors rushing out esp women calling the man names for flogging her. Unfortunately they couldn't help her out cos the veranda entrance was locked.. the man did not mind that people where watching him he flogged her till his satisfaction, opened the door and left.

I know you love her...leave her to go cause if she can't forgive you, she can kill you

Ximenez:
She must have come from a family of abuse and constant violence, that's judging from her comment.

My brother I tire for her matter, that girl have never for one day make sense with her comments

It's pathetic

sparko1:


You can pick the area you choose to read, we all knows from what he said, he left the room and clearly don't want to get into it.

A reasonable woman will wait till the next day before engaging the man, now when he leaves the room, that should tell her that, its not a good time to talk about it.

You know women love this emotional blackmail thing, sometime what you say is worse than the slap you receive from the man, but nobody talks about that, the emotional pain inflicted by your consistence shouting and abuse is worse.

I in no way condom what he did, a married man should know when to leave a party, latest 10 pm, you are out, but sometimes things don't work out the way it should, you might even leave 10 pm and car broke down, there is an attack and you have to wait, lots of things can happen, a woman should put the need of understanding the situation before reacting to the events.

That's one of the reason most women of this generation are just dumb faces, some with certificates but nothing in their head to show for it, logic is very critical in marriage, if you can't control yourself, you shouldn't be married in the first place.


Now for you, the Poster, my advice should you choose to listen, don't! I repeat Don't go over to her parents house to apologies, that is the first sign of weakness, you may think it doesn't matter, but it does, women are creature that follow habits, if she succeed now, there is a good chance it will happen again. (Not to sound stereotypical, She's YORUBA, that is their trade mark) DON'T GO THERE TO BEG, TRUST ME, IT HAS HAPPENED TO AN UNCLE, SHE WILL ALWAYS LOOK FOR A REASON TO GO BACK!

This is what you should do, call the your wife and apologies for the last time and if she still refuse, ask her what she want, does she want a divorce trust me, the thought of you moving on will bring her to her senses quick. Of course she won't want to give an answer, tell her, you need an answer, after seven days, call her, tell her if she doesn't give you an answer within 7 days you will engage a lawyer. (If you think you will loose her, waiting will only make you loose both her and your kid, I know lots of guys that in your situation).

DO NOT GO TO HER PARENT HOUSE TO BEG! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, OR YOU WILL LIVE IN BONDAGE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

You make nice points too.

The emotional blackmail stuff is not limited to Yoruba gehs alone. Coming from a man who dated girls from several tribes except Hausa, they all do it. Once they identify a weakness in your psyche,they will keep exploiting it. Just be unruffled and they will be comfortable playing emotional games with you.

The worst a man can do is to hit his wife,irrespective of anything,reason why I don't drink or high is just to be able to control my action in any situation and it's a lesson that we must learn in other to avoid further mistakes.
First learn how to walk away during tense arguments or misunderstanding with your spouse because it might lead to raising of hands,you should have lock yourself in a room to calm the situation,before next morning her temper will be down and you can apologize for coming late and all will end in love making.
You are not perfect we all make mistakes and how will hand things make us a better man.
Please don't listen to anybody that advice you not to beg your wife,use all you have to get your family back and if it warrant involving your parent you can go as far as possible,please don't allow your new life to be ruin by this misunderstanding and this is just the beginning of what they call marriage. Stup low to get back your wife,then after getting back your wife you should show the greatest love that will make her submit her self to you then your family can return to the happy family you ve always wanted to be.

Very stupid talk !what do u mean after just one slap ?is it until she is liked before she calls her family ? I don’t understand how stupidity rolls out of people’s mouth as advice .

emeijeh:
Your wife went too far for calling her people (after your very first slap)
What happened to the "no third party interference" sermon on your wedding day?

But Op, are you sure you have not hit or beaten her before that day?

Just keep apologizing.
She has to come back.

I am in support of your wife's action. Such things shouldn't be taken lightly otherwise you may just be tempted to do it again. You made the bed, now lie on it.

With time, she will learn not to "over-react" and you will learn to modify your behaviour and act rationally. As for the person asking you not to visit your in-laws to "beg", well it all depends on you really. If your ego is more important to you then by all means go ahead and spend this season alone without your family. Good luck

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

Both parties are wrong and are acting as strangers in the marriage. Firstly, if you know your man isn't the type that keeps late at night, you can scold him and let it pass, but acting like you've once warned him, then spite his anger is immature of the woman except the man is holding something he's not telling us. No one is perfect and both should have maintained maximum restraint, you don't fight when you're angry as couples, there are best times to resolve issues no matter how disturbed you're, especially for peace sake, the woman could have waited for another time to vent her anger, and the man should have totally ignored her or apologized for coming late. A sensible woman would have called her husband, babe, don't come late o, latest time is 9pm, else i won't take it lightly with you, then he readjust if he was sensible. I feel the marriage lacks communication and life, hence this is totally a small issue, now that he has slapped his wife,and he apologized, the woman acted like she's tired of the marriage and nothing could stop her, like i said, it's like the man is holding many things back he is not saying. Mother in laws can't just come and walk their daughters out of their husbands' house if it's a first time except those mothers are the wicked ones who never loved their daughters' husbands from the beginning.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

Keep quiet... You're very annoying

nairalanduseles:



A good man should learn to respect a woman if you cannot slap your mother then do not slap any woman......I have no mercy for bullshit

any man will get angry with a woman who nag till you leave the room only for her to follow you to the sitting room. a wise woman will ignore the man then bring the problem up when she is less angry. nagging is also as bad hitting a woman. my headmaster back then almost lost his because of a nagging wife. he left the house in anger and few minutes later, he is in the hospital battling for his life. the restless man drove into the bush.

More stupid advice.

Dupalmer:
In as much as I don't support domestic violence, your effort at apologizing and sincerely promising not to repeat it is more than enough to make you guys come back to normal if she's a reasonable woman.
don't call or beg her anymore else she will see a good stance to manipulate your sorry ass forever.
She will come back in a matter of days if you ignore her but if she doesn't, find a way to make yourself happy. You can't kill yourself over a trouble she ignited. She will loose if she tries to make it a hard or competitive game.

There are many ladies young and old with very good character that will be willing to marry as second, third and even fourth wife.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

You are a fool.

Why is this bastarrrdd quoting me repeatedly? Listen, a husband that beats his wife is not worthy of his wife's love/respect. It is better a woman remains single/a widow than stay with a husband who beats her. That is my belief, I am very much correct. Only a mother/father who do not value their daughter would ignore the situation without intervening. A real man walks out of such situations, real men do not beat women.

DenreleDave:



Mumu comment, so if the wife brother slap him, the elder brother will marry her Abi... U r a bad woman n adviser

You did the right thing wen you gave her a slap, but you messed up, shouldn't av apologized immediately,now let her be, don't apologize anymore ignore her manipulating person.

Sukueponmalu:

Lmao.
People that verbally assault people are civilised. I can see that you’re very sensible.
Lmfao.
You cannot live where I am, you would be dead.
You cannot go around assaulting people verbally and live long.
Even the police would shoot you if you assault them verbally.

You actually sound like a kid
If the police shot everyone who verbally assaulted them .....i think we all will be dead...
And as for me not being able to live were u re I agree.....
But remember cho cho cho cho too much talk no dey full basket.........judgement day must come for u when KF go nack u something .........OG