victorian:
I didn't say the guy was right.
They were both wrong but she was asking for it. And the guy later begged all night. What else again does she want?

For him to be on his kneels and be begging forever? Cmon!

I agree.

Anyway when they both calm down I expect them to work through the issue having taken responsibility for their own wrongdoings

I do not support domestic violence but you have done all you could to reassure her (that is if this was the first time it happened).

give her an ultimatum…… come home lets work out our marriage or stay away and don´t bother to come back.

kulobyno:
Well as for me:
1. Hitting you wife is a sign of weakness.
2. Apologizing is a sign of strength and love.
But rubbishing my effort to make amends by involving her parents is a NO NO.
I WILL NEVER apologise further because she has made things even.
Whether she decides to stay or leave is her business but trust me I won't care anymore.

Real man here.

The marriage is still young hence the shakara. P.s one prof those days said toh can slap your wife once but no backhand. If you give reverse slap you are a wicked man.

To the koko tour wife probably thinks it's a side chick issue particularly when you roll with your boys.

Baby is still young and probably stressing her out so shes angry that you arent there for her. Do you pamper her, spoil her small, take her out. You should do these things once once see as marriage go dey shack her.

ImaIma1:


People that constantly beat their wives, it also started as a first time. Besides, some women have 0 tolerance for physical abuse and would react quick and even seemingly over the top. It could be to make sure he thinks twice before he allows the devil enter him again.

I agree you with you. I hope the OP genuinely regrets what he did. The woman should give him the benefit of doubt. If it then happens again, then the woman would be absolutely right to leave him.

I do not support domestic violence.

First, sorry to hear about the death of your brother. I'm not trying to refresh your memory but how come you didn't help your brother in sending away the dragon? I'm sure the nagging GF is alive now probably settled with another man enjoying life.
You should have act as a mother and send the beasts away. Once again, sorry for the loss.

victorian:


He didn't listen to me, las las her nagging and wahala pushed him to his grave.

So babe! I don't accept such nagging and hounding a man as if he's a kid.

Forget nairaland men, I honestly don't!

loveliveshere:


Like I said, people react to anger differently.

The man, a married man, came back home by 2am. That's enough to upset anyone. Maybe if the guy had apologised the moment he stepped into the house, and maybe gave the wife one or two kisses her rage would have been subdued.

He suppose show with barbecue fish and chips.... some men sef no sabi, spoil am she go mellow.

Plead:



You never support any reason? What if she hit first?

Marriage is not for the kids

Hedonisco:


God forbid. Make dem kuku carry their daughter go.

Gentle man don suffer for this life. Not me.

The girl acted childish if it was the first time but then again it may have happened severally n she can't deal with it anymore.

Whichever way if he desires settlement then he must go n apologize to the already involved in laws for his wrongs

Dupalmer:

Cant you air your views without insulting people?

You deserved the insult. You're a toxic man and a misogynist.

Another Nollywood story again.

Ladycewhy:
that a big lie, how do you think people develop stockholm syndrome? A real wife beater will always feel remorse and promise never to do it again ,that is how they sunstain the circle of abuse . let be clear on that.


As for your solution, you think now that parents are involved ,she will come back just like that?

he will feel remorse after seeing the results of what he has done. a wife beater will only apologize if he see the threat of the wife leaving him but according to op he started apologizing immediately after he slapped her. only people with conscience apologize immediately after wronging you.

she will come back. all she needs is time and for op to reassure her it won't happen again. he has to contact her and reason with her before apologizing to her parents when he is sure she is ready to come back. no one will leave marriage because of one mistake unless she is just her mother puppet. I have seen a situation where a lady sneak back to her husband house without her parents knowledge even when her mom wants divorce

They've given you every kinda advice imaginable..Me I say just want to tell u ..u aint got a wife yet boss..One altercation and she called her people to come scatter your house..I would av told u how to handle this situation..bt I no fit waste my ink abeg..cos las las we know u will go no and beg dt woman...Men dey fall hand sha..

Bros to be frank let her go and it was their plan and they only use that slap to carry it out. if she was from a good home no parent would hv gone to their inlaw home and withdraw their daughter from her husband home.
Give her time and if they don't bring her back and apologies as neccessary get a divorce and even God will bear you witness.
Every understanding between a man and wife should be settle between them first and if it prolong then that is when either parents be involve to give out advice.

victorian:








My dear, I'm thinking with my brain. And the least I will do is follow nairaland men to spew rubbish.
I'm looking at it this way, my husband comes home late around 2am. I asked him where is he coming from? He mumbled some words and said walked away from me, to the bedroom. I dragged him back and started nagging, how can u come home this late? U don't even consider your life. And u call your self a married man!
He still walks away from the bedroom, headed to the sitting room, I followed him again. , and he kept mumbling that it's OK, he has heard and I still kept on talking to him like he's a kid!

Cmon! What do u think I'm doing? I'm looking for someone to shut my mouth up!
Some men can leave home at that moment and drive off with their car. While some who do not have anywhere to go but are determined to Stay home, will either bang the door at my face, as I keep howling at his back? Or give me a dirty slap to keep me shut!
And unfortunately he gave his wife a hard slap that brough blood oozing from her lips.
She simply. Asked for it!


A sharp mouthed girl came to look for my trouble at home. You know what I did? As she was about sharpening her mouth I slammed the door on her face! And locked it. She kept screaming and shouting at the hallway. I would have hit her with something just to keep her mouth shut and listen to reason but on second thought, She may collapse and faint or even die on me. So I simply slammed the door on her face!
I don't have patience for such sharp mouth and talking down on me, even as lady. How much more as a man!

My brother when he was alive, his girlfriend used to talk down on him, so I thought. One day I came home abit early and heard her talking and nagging non stop. I was like WTF! And her voice was so loud. Mehn, my head turn, I walked to his room, knocked entered and asked him, is everything OK? He said hmm yes. The way I looked at his gf ehn? She sef know say she pass her boundary.
She then left immediately. I was like, how can u allow a woman raise her voice on you? U are there quiet mumbling? Are u this weak! Mehn that's not a woman o! That's a dragon! The earlier u cut off from such girl, the better for you. If not that I respect u as my younger brother, I would have insulted her and warned her never to try such again at you. U don't nag or scream at me! For what? Assuming I'm the husband or following me up and down breathing down my neck! I won't take it lightly.

He didn't listen to me, las las her nagging and wahala pushed him to his grave.

So babe! I don't accept such nagging and hounding a man as if he's a kid.

Forget nairaland men, I honestly don't!

now this is a reasonable woman. some women can nag you to death. my primary school headmaster back then almost lost his life to a nagging wife. the man left home in anger after the nagging was too much. few minutes later he was in the hospital battling for his life while his car was in the bush. our house was a few building away but I remember hearing her voice almost all the time

crackhaus:

I was actually. Good thing you could sense the comical nature of your responses.

I meant all what I said.

tiwiex:


So everybody out late at night is doing business or they are irresponsible? Weh don. From his submission, this seems like the very first time which is even strange because a lot of people hang out to late steady and their wives don't scream. She got used to his early return and is just taking the piss. My bro in law even stays till morning occasionally and my sis just laughs it off that he won't eat that day. It's understanding. Coming home early proves nothing. You can even be the worst partner and u would be home by 5pm daily. She needs to adjust to reality and stop acting spoilt.

Finally, a comment from someone living in the real world naija.

It's just ridiculous the kind of responses I'm reading here. Shows many people on this forum are jonzers.

So all the heavy men wey full all the hotpots for town till wee hours everyday na ghosts dem be? Lol. Like you said, she got used to him being home early. That's a mortal sin. Never allow women get used to your 'goodness'. It is difficult to break loose later when you eventually receive sense.

Responsible married man my foot. Tell that to Elumelu that I saw at Zenbah the other day by past 1am. Or to Davido. Ndi ara.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

Na dem...one of such ladies!

godbless120:
Bros to be frank let her go and it was their plan and they only use that slap to carry it out. if she was from a good home no parent would hv gone to their inlaw home and withdraw their daughter from her husband home.
Give her time and if they don't bring her back and apologies as neccessary get a divorce and even God will bear you witness.
Every understanding between a man and wife should be settle between them first and if it prolong then that is when either parents be involve to give out advice.

You can't conclude that she's from a bad home; you don't know what she must have been screaming and crying to them over the phone.

So if your daughter calls you by 2AM in a state of distress complaining that she has been beaten you won't fly down there and get her

The only thing is that the mother should have called him by now or gone down to the house to enquire on what happened or to set up a meeting.

That's if she's a responsible mother oh

Dupalmer:
In as much as I don't support domestic violence, your effort at apologizing and sincerely promising not to repeat it is more than enough to make you guys come back to normal if she's a reasonable woman.
don't call or beg her anymore else she will see a good stance to manipulate your sorry ass forever.
She will come back in a matter of days if you ignore her but if she doesn't, find a way to make yourself happy. You can't kill yourself over a trouble she ignited. She will loose if she tries to make it a hard or competitive game.

There are many ladies young and old with very good character that will be willing to marry as second, third and even fourth wife.

Make he kill her first abi..... Nigga Bleep ur self

godbless120:
Bros to be frank let her go and it was their plan and they only use that slap to carry it out. if she was from a good home no parent would hv gone to their inlaw home and withdraw their daughter from her husband home.
Give her time and if they don't bring her back and apologies as neccessary get a divorce and even God will bear you witness.
Every understanding between a man and wife should be settle between them first and if it prolong then that is when either parents be involve to give out advice.

Your a woman bitter ....nonsense man like i pity for ur wife

armadeo:


He suppose show with barbecue fish and chips.... some men sef no sabi, spoil am she go mellow.

Abi now
Even if she was angry, that would pacifier her. Then apologies can come inbetween

How will brother in-law slap the husband. What if there's reprisal from the husband, it'll just entangle everything... Two wrong doesn't make a right

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

fatymore:



I meant all what I said.

That you meant all of it does not make them less comical.

Project

Pussywar:

You deserved the insult. You're a toxic man and a misogynist.

Attention seeker. Application denied.

emeijeh:

Your wife went too far for calling her people (after your very first slap)
What happened to the "no third party interference" sermon on your wedding day?

But Op, are you sure you have not hit or beaten her before that day?

Just keep apologizing.
She has to come back.

You're crazy. So she should have sucked it up. That's how abuse starts. One slap, then two and then much more beatings. If you were her brother, you won't have said this nonsense.

@op, I want to assume this is the first time you are hitting that woman. That is what the validity of this comment depends on.

Guy, you shit for altar. I no go hide mouth. 2am is way too irresponsible.
That being said, you have begged and begged. It didn't change.
Now that she has left, beg one more time. Be sure to word your apologies right and let it belly your remorse. Beg her, not her family. It is her you married.
If she doesn't budge, lock up and watch things unfold.
If she left because she wanted to show how intolerant she is of the abuse, she will come around. I am still believing it is the first time and you have no history of tingling digits.

You were ready to explain, and apologise, but the fact of wanting to take advantage of your mistake to drive home her point got the better of her. Whoever told these women that yelling in that manner solves anything?
In the dead of night, in front of their child?

The bitter truth is, the way a woman wants her home to be, that's the way it wil be? Why do you imagine God shouldered her with that responsibility? He put an intrinsic adsorbed in her. This of course is no playing towards op's irresponsible behavior.

So, like I said, beg her, in addition to the previous ones. She will rescind and return.

Jesse25:

Make he kill her first abi..... Nigga Bleep ur self

Everyone is not a cheap pussylicking gay like you.

Dupalmer:

Attention seeker. Application denied.

Looool. After replying me. Dense.

Feels good to see all these godforsaken bastarrrdds quoting me, i had a hectic day I can't read and reply all your stupidd mentions, all I can say is fuuucckkk you all. Today's women should be wise, it's better to be a happy single mother, than live with a wife beater, that's why the wife left. Yes if a man beats my daughter in future, I will protect my daughter from him. Over 50 mentions........hahahahajajaha

Pussywar:

Looool. After replying me. Dense.

O yeah wh0res deserve some slacks

That particular time she was talking a one-off I AM SORRY would have solved the matter but you kept mute hence her continued talking, gbooom!! You slapped to calm her down. Very bad. If you are not properly warned and threatened this first time, I but you, you will still repeat it again.

There are some families who don't tolerate domestic violence on their children. If you married from such family sorry they will shake you till you regret for life.

Don't relent in apologising.
Just know that this is now beyond you. Keep apologising. Go to them with a respectable personality and sort things out. Though temper is still high but with time they will reason when they see your remorse.

I know of a lady whose husband and his family slap and treat as they like, because of her mother inlaw. The girls mother came fully prepared with one of her sons. She acted like and iron lady ready to fight the whole family. Mother inlaw and father in-law ran into the house and locked the door while the husband ran away. I went in and settled the issue. From that day till today, that lady had peace of mind in her marriage.

In you case that's how domestic violence starts from the first mistake to second deliberate act till it becomes a routine. Just believe everything will be sorted out.

Also know communication is a key factor in marriage.if you had communicated with her I think it would have solved alit of problems. Her talking was meant for good though not in the right way. I pray you sort things out early and easily