For the first time ever in my life, my wife slapped me twice. You want to know my reaction?

Honestly I was surprised to see my wife slapped me. I thought within myself what could have warranted it.

On Saturday, we went for a party which I was reluctant to attend but I did because I wanted to please my wife. I did all I could to make her happy and to make her feel good but as much as I did, she flared up when I left to ease myself.

She complained that I went with a girl which was not so. To cut the story short I left the party without my wife and we kept distance for some days. Every instructions I gave to my wife since then she would just do it reluctantly and when I needed to get to her office after work so that we could go home together, I would just see that she was not there. when I got back home I decided to get spare key so as to return home from work without waiting for her, I asked her for the spare and she started raising voice on me. I reacted as a man and all of a sudden I got the first slap followed by the second one. Though I didn't react because I don't know what to do.

My question is what will be your reaction if you happen to be in my shoes?

Jesus is Lord. What am I reading. See Finish o

One word of advice, take this post of Nairaland.

Small small children will come here and give you advice that will crumble your already cracked marriage.

It is best to seek advice from seasoned counsellors.

Your wife might be bitter with you and might not know how to tell you. For her to be accusing you of going with a girl means she has her suspicion.

I use God beg you, edit the post.

Romanoff:
One word of advice, take this post of Nairaland.

Small small children will come here and give you advice that will crumble your already cracked marriage.

It is best to seek advice from seasoned counsellors.

Your wife might be bitter with you and might not know how to tell you. For her to be accusing you of going with a girl means she has her suspicion.

I use God beg you, edit the post.

Lol. I felt the same way and wanted to communicate with the OP privately. But then. Wetin small boy like me know. Them go come here come say crash the marriage. But then, the woman went too far.

healthserve:



Lol. I felt the same way and wanted to communicate with the OP privately. But then. Wetin small boy like me know. Them go come here come say crash the marriage. But then, the woman went too far.

"My wife slap me" is not enough to end a marriage. It can still be worked on. Countless women have stayed in abusive marriages to make it work.

Let him find out what is eating his wife up and get to the root of the problem.

But make e edit him post sha.

Romanoff:


"My wife slap me" is not enough to end a marriage. It can still be worked on. Countless women have stayed in abusive marriages to make it work.

Let him find out what is eating his wife up and get to the root of the problem.

But make e edit him post sha.

That's what needs to be addressed. Which one be professional counsellor. A trusted clergy or someone like you can mediate. As you've already initiated it. There negative energy in the woman and the man and they both need to remember how they stood before one another stark naked and have naked conversations where nothing is hidden and then talk.


The truth is the man I feel even in my spirit here is innocent but his actions projected mischief by someone who is overly suspicious. So the marriage of this situations escalated the issue.


Now the woman ought to have confronted the man, or the man try to calm his woman down use words to calm things down not trying to act masculine to douse that feeling.


They both have ego. That's their problem. One can't apollgise the other can't calmly speak to the other to get the peace it needs. Both do not seethe need to be open and mature in communication


I only see lack of defined communication pattern here but plenty ego on the side of the wife. Plenty. She needs to come down. She has abused the equality he willfully gave to her. If she needed information it's not by physical aggressive but by clearly talking with her partner. A word spoken in anger and another spoken lightly on the same issue will have different effect. She ought to know how to communicate with her partner. He also needs to find a way to communicate with her time to time to constantly assure her of no competition and then douse fears


E Don Tey I do marriage counselling. Thank you Holy Spirit.

healthserve:
they stood before one another stark naked and have naked conversations where nothing is hidden and then talk.

Ezi okwu? How you take know this one?




@ Op, it is well with your marriage. I hope you find the right counsel.

czarina:
Ezi okwu? How you take know this one?




@ Op, it is well with your marriage. I hope you find the right counsel.

All couples had that moment.

Take it easy Op. If you wanna talk. Hit me up. Marriage is my forte. And mending bridges is my ministry

Did u retaliate or punch her back or something??; just asking
I hope u didn't though, don't know what advise to give but I know if it were her u slapped, the whole neighborhood would have heard and all those feminists will start making noise about domestic violence, like women are the only victims....

I did not react at all. I felt if I gave her one slap something else could happen

Success02:
I did not react at all. I felt if I gave her one slap something else could happen

Excellent resolve. The devil is in already o. The devil never enters as a giant but as a seed. You need to detoxify the union to purge the seed causing all these o. Otherwise. More escalations o. Its not just the absence of fights but the re-introduction of your fire, so they'll be love and peace. Whatever happen is trying to rain your home of that peace, cooperation and love you used to have. It's a two people decision o.


You both need to be decisive and deliberate about your healing process otherwise the seed of discord would keep growing.

Success02:
For the first time ever in my life, my wife slapped me twice. You want to know my reaction?

Honestly I was surprised to see my wife slapped me. I thought within myself what could have warranted it.

On Saturday, we went for a party which I was reluctant to attend but I did because I wanted to please my wife. I did all I could to make her happy and to make her feel good but as much as I did, she flared up when I left to ease myself.

She complained that I went with a girl which was not so. To cut the story short I left the party without my wife and we kept distance for some days. Every instructions I gave to my wife since then she would just do it reluctantly and when I needed to get to her office after work so that we could go home together, I would just see that she was not there. when I got back home I decided to get spare key so as to return home from work without waiting for her, I asked her for the spare and she started raising voice on me. I reacted as a man and all of a sudden I got the first slap followed by the second one. Though I didn't react because I don't know what to do.

My question is what will be your reaction if you happen to be in my shoes?

You reacted as a man meaning?

Modified: You have clarified the above.

First, your wife doesn't trust you. Either you have cheated in the past or she is a nervous wreck thinking all men-women interaction ends in sex.

Since she doesn't appreciate you going out of your way for her, you can limit some things not essential/fundamental.

For instance, she did not appreciate you going with her for the party; tell her next time 'I would love to go with you, however, you do not appreciate it which hurts me and makes it feel a waste of my time' etc in your words. She should get the message and sit up.

Your marriage is also filled with too much rancor hence the malice for days, request for spare key so you don't pick her up with work etc.

I don't know how the discussion/argument flowed that day since you are the victim here.

Hold her hands and tell her that the only touch you would tolerate from her is romantic touch. The next she slaps you, you will.....

Insert whatever sounds serious enough that she thinks you can go through with the meanest face you have.

I apologize on her behalf.

Elder yomi007k is it a coincidence we... Jump on the same threads..

healthserve:
Elder yomi007k is it a coincidence we... Jump on the same threads..

That's because we have the same interests sire.

I fully concur with your input anyways.


I also think the Op displayed a high level of maturity but what i would like to know is what he really was doing with the other lady.
What made the wife accuse him if he didn't have some playa instinct.
Or maybe the wife naturally has a high level of insecurity.

yomi007k:

That's because we have the same interests sire.

I fully concur with your input anyways.


I also think the Op displayed a high level of maturity but what i would like to know is what he really was doing with the other lady.
What made the wife accuse him if he didn't have some playa instinct.
Or maybe the wife naturally has a high level of insecurity.

Perhaps @ interest

I hope they find common ground. Perhaps he'll attend to your questions as he opens up more.

Best thing to do is to walk away. Trust me, when you get back, she would look sobber and apologize.

draw her close, hug her say " I love you" Is anything bothering you, my attention is yours

Good for you for not reacting violently. Now warn her sternly never to repeat what she did to you ever again, also report her to her folks and let them know the next time it happens you would retaliate.

If you do not do this, your wife will hit you whenever you have a misunderstanding, we make acceptable what ever we condone. i must commend you again for not reacting violently, you are a better guy than most of us. If you do not handle it now she will soon start slapping you in presence of visitors and outsiders.

U married a 'wicked' woman, run for your life , one day she will beat u to death...That's a clear case of domestic violence..

Get a lawyer and seek for a divorce.

Because it's the other way round now people are saying the man should "hug and tell her he loves her", "apologize to her"
etc.. Double standard!

eazzzy1:
Good for you for not reacting violently. Now warn her sternly never to repeat what she did to you ever again, also report her to her folks and let them know the next time it happens you would retaliate.

If you do not do this, your wife will hit you whenever you have a misunderstanding, we make acceptable what ever we condone. i must commend you again for not reacting violently, you are a better guy than most of us. If you do not handle it now she will soon start slapping you in presence of visitors and outsiders.

The day one of my ex slapped me, i held her hands and gave her two slaps. It never happened again after that day.

Ok

Success02:
For the first time ever in my life, my wife slapped me twice. You want to know my reaction?

Honestly I was surprised to see my wife slapped me. I thought within myself what could have warranted it.

On Saturday, we went for a party which I was reluctant to attend but I did because I wanted to please my wife. I did all I could to make her happy and to make her feel good but as much as I did, she flared up when I left to ease myself.

She complained that I went with a girl which was not so. To cut the story short I left the party without my wife and we kept distance for some days. Every instructions I gave to my wife since then she would just do it reluctantly and when I needed to get to her office after work so that we could go home together, I would just see that she was not there. when I got back home I decided to get spare key so as to return home from work without waiting for her, I asked her for the spare and she started raising voice on me. I reacted as a man and all of a sudden I got the first slap followed by the second one. Though I didn't react because I don't know what to do.

My question is what will be your reaction if you happen to be in my shoes?

Please explain the bolded before we go on.

kolafolabi:
Best thing to do is to walk away. Trust me, when you get back, she would look sobber and apologize.

If she can apologize I will appreciate.

limsycutey:


Please explain the bolded before we go on.

When I asked her for the spare key, she asked me with frown face "why do you want the key?" I replied why are u asking me? She said she has the right to ask and I told her what right, she just grabbed my shirt and d rest is slap

Success02:


When I asked her for the spare key, she asked me with frown face "why do you want the key?" I replied why are u asking me? She said she has the right to ask and I told her what right, she just grabbed my shirt and d rest is slap

Okay.

It was very wrong of her to slap you. And it's good you didn't retaliate, that would landed you guys on a slippery slope.

I feel there is more to it, maybe you have given her reasons to doubt your fidelity in the past. I'm not saying this is a justification for her action, just that there is no smoke without fire.

This first time, don't involve 3rd parties yet. They tend to blow things out of proportion.
Sit her down and warm her sternly, that the next time she tries such rubbish, she won't be so lucky. That the next time she raises her hand to hit you, you are sending her back to her father's house, Permanently.


Some men suffer domestic violence too but are just too ashamed to admit it.

When she's not mad...

limsycutey:



Some men suffer domestic violence too but are just too ashamed to admit it.

Gbam

May God not give us wives that Slap husbands and may He not give us husbands that slaps wives...

Funny how this thread on different foot doesn't have us telling the husband to pack out, chase his wife or run to the police station to report the 'abuse'.

https://www.nairaland.com/5583214/hit-wife

When a spouse does something they have not done before, you lean back and ask what went wrong and correct it.

CircleOfWilis:
U married a 'wicked' woman, run for your life , one day she will beat u to death...That's a clear case of domestic violence..

Get your lawyer and seek for a divorce.

Because it's the other way round now people are saying the man should "hug and tell her he loves her", "apologize to her"
etc.. Double standard!

Hahahahahahahahaha

Very funny, innit?

Thank you for walking away. Your silence will almost kill her and push her to apologize.
Even when she apologizes, just say OKAY and continue to act normal. Trust me, guilt will make her sick and she will do everything she can to ensure you are pleased instead of you trying to please her.


May I never slap my man.

Such utterly disrespect from your wife!! She has done wrong, you have not! If you don't stamp your authority and take concrete and stern action to counter her physical and domestic abuse of you, bringing her to the realization she has caused harm capable of destroying the marriage, she will continue to dish out hot slap for every and any misunderstanding that might arise.

Your letting her action slide is not how to be and act as a man.
Take charge of your HOME NOW!!
Take action,act now, sit back and watch it flow like a boss....apologies to Aro1

If my wife dare slap me eeh... hmm, immediately, with the speed of sound, a Raphael nada forehand slap,followed by a roger Federer backhand slap and if she's still standing on her feet by then, I will conclude with a jet lee kick to her two legs. Nonsense!