poik:


Coming from a lady, I Stan!

This is an insult, not a compliment. Go and Stan somewhere else.

Chi59:

Yeah, it will last more. Since she'll be willing to chew, drink and inhale shit just to keep her "marriage". Most times, people wanting to marry someone who loves them more so they can have someone to manipulate, abd eventually abuse.
All these useless measure of love. Goes to show how naive and immature the minds of many guys are on this forum. Like a lady put it, if he's not crazily in love with her, he should forget it.

That she love you more does not mean you will maltreat her. Some of us have principles in life. whether we love or not, we will still try to keep them.
Physically Abusing a woman have nothing to do with love. Some guys abuse those they claim to love.

goldenpenny2:
Fellow N/Landers

The future is unpredictable but nobody is praying for bad thing. This question have been bothering me for long. I thought it wise to it with good people of Nairaland and seeking for helpful advice.

As a man, is it advisable to marry the lady who loves you more than you love her?

please advice

Forget about love; life is not a cheap M&B novella. Marry the lady who has qualities that you feel are relevant to promoting your life vision and your future children's welfare. Approach marriage like a business contract or a job interview. Do you choose to hire a new employee because you 'love' the colour of his tie or the shine on his shoes? Do you buy a new model of car because you 'love' its colour or the shape of its headlights? To men, love is little more than a longer than usual feeling of possessiveness or lust for sex due to some perceived desirable physical attribute. It never lasts, after a man has had his fill of post marital sex or she loses her shape. It is only replaced by a sense of duty and responsibility; especially if kids have come into the picture. For a woman, love is little more than a desire to take care of her interests and future financial stability. Again, this only lasts as long as you are capable of keeping the income flowing on the home front. A woman generally tends to lose the 'love' she has for her husband if he loses his ability to be the breadwinner, or if she earns more than he does.

Marry a pleasant, contented, emotionally balanced, sensible, sensitive, obedient, principled, not too demanding and respectful woman; preferably from the kind of stable home you yourself wish to build. 'Love' (actually a sort of fondness) will then come naturally and evenly to both of you as you grow together in your harmonious marriage. Admittedly, it is difficult to judge very accurately because character judgement within a specific timeframe is subject to distortions; and people often pretend to be what they are not during courtship. But at least, character assessment should be the primary objective during the period; and not borrowing money to take her out to expensive restaurants to 'prove' your 'love'. I also urge you to be as honest with her as possible, because she will also be searching for certain traits in a man, and it would not be wise to enter into a marriage based on deceit.

Good luck.

Chi59:

Yeah, it will last more. Since she'll be willing to chew, drink and inhale shit just to keep her "marriage". Most times, people wanting to marry someone who loves them more so they can have someone to manipulate, abd eventually abuse.
All these useless measure of love. Goes to show how naive and immature the minds of many guys are on this forum. Like a lady put it, if he's not crazily in love with her, he should forget it.

In abundance of women, he chose you. A man have a reason to do such. The fact that he jettison other ladies and settled for you means more than the eyes could see. Remember, he is the one paying your bride price and making you his wife. Not the other way round. If he doesn't love you, he would never take such bold step. He will never come an inch near you. Paying your bride price is a great sacrifice to justify his affection towards you. What we are saying is that marriage is more blissful if the love the wife possess for the husband is more. Many ladies settled for men they don't love because of wealth and affluence. And many men doesn't live longer to tell their stories. No man in his right sense will bring calamity into his life. LOVE IS BLIND! The more you love, the severity of the blindness. Women are more resilience than men. We can't endure what women endured. Above all, it is inhumanity to take someone's love for granted. Men value and respect their wives
As a man I have taken my stand. Other men are free to make their choices as well. It is a free world.

Goodbloke:
That's the way it should be anyways, the love should be 60% for the woman and 40% for the man.

Chai!!!

Jman06:
"Love" is NEVER equal!!!

If you're waiting for equal love before getting married,,, you go wait taya!

And in my unbiased opinion, I think the man should be the one to love his wife more because his has the responsibility to provide and protect the family.
If the lady is the one who's more "in love", the man may abandon his responsibilities along the way leaving the woman to cater for the children.

When you see true love, you will feel the equality

goldenpenny2:
Fellow N/Landers

The future is unpredictable but nobody is praying for bad thing. This question have been bothering me for long. I thought it wise to it with good people of Nairaland and seeking for helpful advice.

As a man, is it advisable to marry the lady who loves you more than you love her?

please advice

That is the best woman to marry.

goldenpenny2:
Fellow N/Landers

The future is unpredictable but nobody is praying for bad thing. This question have been bothering me for long. I thought it wise to it with good people of Nairaland and seeking for helpful advice.

As a man, is it advisable to marry the lady who loves you more than you love her?

please advice

It is either you love her or you don't. Although, some people mistake like or lust to love.

chrisifeanyi:
Don't ever make the mistake of marrying a woman that you love more, you will die 20 years before your time. A woman supposed to love you more than you love her. Be warned!

Hahahaha!!!!!!!

goldenpenny2:


how, pls explain further

If you should marry a lady that loves you more than you love her, You future is certain to flourish, you av an Angel sent by jah because she would always pray for your success, Come rain come sun she would always stay by you. the list is,endless. if you av any grab her before its too late.

goldenpenny2:
Fellow N/Landers

The future is unpredictable but nobody is praying for bad thing. This question have been bothering me for long. I thought it wise to it with good people of Nairaland and seeking for helpful advice.

As a man, is it advisable to marry the lady who loves you more than you love her?

please advice

yes you will have long life

Jiokejohn you are so on point!

Sir, if you are not sure of her then don't even bother going further with her. Marriage goes beyond love. It's a lifetime deal that requires more than just loving her to get through with. It is even preferable if you love her more than she does you. My opinion tho...

Jiokejohn:


In abundance of women, he chose you. A man have a reason to do such. The fact that he jettison other ladies and settled for you means more than the eyes could see. Remember, he is the one paying your bride price and making you his wife. Not the other way round. If he doesn't love you, he would never take such bold step. He will never come an inch near you. Paying your bride price is a great sacrifice to justify his affection towards you. What we are saying is that marriage is more blissful if the love the wife possess for the husband is more. Many ladies settled for men they don't love because of wealth and affluence. And many men doesn't live longer to tell their stories. No man in his right sense will bring calamity into his life. LOVE IS BLIND! The more you love, the severity of the blindness. Women are more resilience than men. We can't endure what women endured. Above all, it is inhumanity to take someone's love for granted. Men value and respect their wives
As a man I have taken my stand. Other men are free to make their choices as well. It is a free world.

Bollocks.

niaralandtopuser:

That she love you more does not mean you will maltreat her. Some of us have principles in life. whether we love or not, we will still try to keep them.
Physically Abusing a woman have nothing to do with love. Some guys abuse those they claim to love.

Abuse has different types. Most times when you guys hear abuse, you imagine it as a woman with a blackened eye and a bust lip. There's emotional /psychological abuse, financial abuse and sexual abuse too

Chi59:

Abuse has different types. Most times when you guys hear abuse, you imagine it as a woman with a blackened eye and a bust lip. There's emotional /psychological abuse, financial abuse and sexual abuse too

love have nothing to do with all these things. maturity and the will to build a successful and happy family will solve most of the things you had there.
infact this unrealistic love people are practicing these days is responsible for the many marital problem

My candid advice.... marry a woman who loves you way more than you love her but at least be attracted to her and capable of showing a soft side towards her... a woman who you love more than she does you, will eventually take you for granted and walk all over you while you try to rationalize what’s going wrong ... and before you know it your marriage has hit the rocks and you are trying to hang on because you have kids you love and poured yourself into over time without knowing it when a part of you realized their mother wouldn’t be emotionally available to you or those kids ... then you start cheating and stop caring what she thinks and eventually you begin hating her or feeling nothing towards her and when she annoys you... you think of ingenious ways to end her without getting caught... look just Marry a woman who frigging loves you... you’ll be happier:.. trust me

I gave you my 100% support, marrying a lady who loves you more guarantees a happy home. she will do everything humanly possible to make you happy. Your likes are her likes. no nagging, everything you do for her no matter how little, she will appreciates. Above all, she will treat you like a mother.

Sighs!

I'm tired of reading comments

Mac12:
Las Las, you go see say no be love dey hold marriage...

I'm talking from experience

abeg na wetin dey hold marriage? please explain

Chi59:

This is an insult, not a compliment. Go and Stan somewhere else.

what are you actually talking about?

goldenpenny2:


what are you actually talking about?

Re-read what I wrote. It'll come to you.

goldenpenny2:
Fellow N/Landers

The future is unpredictable but nobody is praying for bad thing. This question have been bothering me for long. I thought it wise to it with good people of Nairaland and seeking for helpful advice.

As a man, is it advisable to marry the lady who loves you more than you love her?

please advice

As long as you also love her genuinely.

That would be all I will ever ask for

Don't know if someone has already said this, but OP...just search for "Ubunja's Miseducation: Chosen" . That'll answer most if not all your questions.

Yes.

UbiPetrus:
While it is okay for her to love you so much, you are the man and should love her crazily.
The holy book commands the man to love and the woman to be submissive.
If she loves you more than you love her, that is, if you doubt what it is that you feel for her, then I wouldn't advice you to go ahead.

UbiPetrus God only commanded the man to love the wife because men find it difficult to love hence the command. While women find it difficult to submit, hence the command to submit-A woman will only submit to a man she loves wholeheartedly.

As for the question, OP marry a woman who loves you more than yourself and you're sure to have a blissful marriage that's if you are God fearing yourself.

God fearing in the sense that you understand the Lord's command to love your wife, you will learn to love her with time.

But first you need to ask your self if you truly care about her, if yes, that's a good way to know you'll love her over time.

HML in advance OP...lol

By the way, I will always say this: LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH WHEN IT COMES TO MARRIAGE especially for the man.

Don’t look for a woman that loves u more than u do, look for a woman that is respectful, submissive, prayerful and hard working. That’s all u need. U are the one to love her has the Bible asks u to do. We keep reading the Bible inside down. U are to love she is to be submissive shikenan

chrisifeanyi:
Don't ever make the mistake of marrying a woman that you love more, you will die 20 years before your time. A woman supposed to love you more than you love her. Be warned!

It goes both ways...

goldenpenny2:
Fellow N/Landers

The future is unpredictable but nobody is praying for bad thing. This question have been bothering me for long. I thought it wise to it with good people of Nairaland and seeking for helpful advice.

As a man, is it advisable to marry the lady who loves you more than you love her?

please advice

Love is love. Marry who you love. it's almost Christmas, I've got an Infinix Note 5 with accessories for a giveaway. If you're interested, contact 09085472525

goldenpenny2:


abeg na wetin dey hold marriage? please explain

Understanding and tolerance... at some point, you'll feel stretched beyond limit. At some point, you wont feel that love anymore, you'll feel you made the wrong decision, or rather your suppose spouse changed. But you know what keeps you going? Understanding and tolerance. With these virtues, you can live with anybody no matter how difficult he or she is.

kingjoe:
please madam,with your wealth of experience,what holds marrige

Understanding and tolerance... at some point, you'll feel stretched beyond limit. At some point, you wont feel that love anymore, you'll feel you made the wrong decision, or rather your suppose spouse changed. But you know what keeps you going? Understanding and tolerance. With these virtues, you can live with anybody no matter how difficult he/she is

goldenpenny2:


it is not about contemplating, but you're not sure if that's the right person whom God has given you

Is there anything like the right person God has given you?
That's how you people make mistakes.

The last time God gave man, a woman was in the garden of Eden but when Kasala burst, Adam blamed God for providing Eve.

So God can give you guidelines on the type of person to marry but will never force you to marry anyone.