ocmarion:
you get the point , he is very manipulating sometimes he will hold her sister and be crying like oh i miss my sister all those stuff its just irritating to me .

It's thought manipulation na. It's not new. That's why when you pick her wife for marriage you must ensure people she's close to stay far from you guys and limit communications. People don't know how to influence without manipulating. You've lost her to your brother I'm sorry, you're now in the territory of perhaps and maybe. The moment he came close or wanted to stay with you, you should have desisted. As it stands the only way to get her back is if God wills it or you yield I.e permitting her brother come stay with you. And your kids would pick up strange habits in the long run


Damn. I'm getting tired of marriage already. All these issues we see daily drains one's energy

Take it easy my brother. May God grant you the wisdom and fortitude to make the right decisions and stick by its causative effects

healthserve:



It's thought manipulation na. It's not new. That's why when you pick her wife for marriage you must ensure people she's close to stay far from you guys and limit communications. People don't know how to influence without manipulating. You've lost her to your brother I'm sorry, you're now in the territory of perhaps and maybe. The moment he came close or wanted to stay with you, you should have desisted. As it stands the only way to get her back is if God wills it or you yield I.e permitting her brother come stay with you. And your kids would pick up strange habits in the long run


Damn. I'm getting tired of marriage already. All these issues we see daily drains one's energy

Take it easy my brother. May God grant you the wisdom and fortitude to make the right decisions and stick by its causative effects

thank you very much ... Las las the kids will be fine i tried my best . this days marriage is just too stressful

ocmarion:
thank you very much ... Las las the kids will be fine i tried my best . this days marriage is just too stressful

Way too stressful. The possibility one of both partners won't be consistent in their decision makes it even more hectic

Young man, I suggest you go to your wife's family with 2 or 3 men (a bit elderly) to discuss with her people before your marriage breaks down completely. Let the elders speak on your behalf and please do not show any sign of annoyance.

boldx:
Young man, I suggest you go to your wife's family with 2 or 3 men (a bit elderly) to discuss with her people before your marriage break downs completely. Let the elders speak on your behalf and please do not show any sign of annoyance.

the problem is from the family the marriage is over already i just want her to move out so i can move on properly

ocmarion:


the problem starts 2 years ago when her brother move close to where we live , her brother is 2 years older than me and he isnt married yet , he seems to know whats best for my home thats where the problem starts .. he has been talking to my wife to stop going to our church and be attending his own church because he supposed pastor is the only true man of God .. i kick against the idea and ever since then her whole family makes it to look as if i dont want her family around ...

if this is the reason, let her start going to her brother's church, in fact let your kids be spending weekends their uncle. Repackage yourself, raise money for a new apartment and marry a new wife, if that one too isnt serious,let her move out , always have it in your mind that you must take care of your kids with your previous wife. Make money so that the mother of your kids won't be threatening you with divorce

Keemsleek005:



Really the kids should spend the weekend with an uncle that smokes weed, are you for real and he should allow the wife go attend the brother church then why is he d husband or head of the house when it's the brother that makes decisions.

if op isn't alive, wont the wife do whatever she want? The wife should be allowed to do anything that pleases her and her family while the husband give her the space that she want, life is too short and sweet than to welcome drama from a stubborn wife, op should make sure he is doing his responsibility on his kids, so that they won't grow to hate their father and been brainwashed by the mother.

She's a good person?

Is it possible she was maltreated and unhappy when broke and jobless? She married you because you gave her a means of survival and shelter? Perhaps she's not using her normal eyes? Or her new job is shacking her?

See why it's good to marry ur friend cos when the love and passion is no longer there, mutual respect and friendship will hold the bond.

It is well.

AwkaetitiBabe:
She's a good person?

Is it possible she was maltreated and unhappy when broke and jobless? She married you because you gave her a means of survival and shelter? Perhaps she's not using her normal eyes? Or her new job is shacking her?
See why it's good to marry ur friend cos when the love and passion is no longer there, mutual respect and friendship will hold the bond.

she is a good person but she is not an independent kind of person so it makes her vulnerable to be manipulated . she felt i was just a good provider and nothing else i felt used and she want me to keep on providing for everything like before but its time to move on for me . i wont be able to support her like before cos i need to do things for myself and make plans for my own future

ocmarion:




she is a good person but she is not an independent kind of person so it makes her vulnerable to be manipulated . she felt i was just a good provider and nothing else i felt used and she want me to keep on providing for everything like before but its time to move on for me . i wont be able to support her like before cos i need to do things for myself and make plans for my own future

So there's no remedy to this marriage? Are you guys not rushing to separate? If you leave the house for her will she be able to pay the next rent? Well, in d end one's happiness matters. Be happy and take care of your kids.

ocmarion:


kids and 5 and 7 .... been living together for 8 years and legally married for 5 years . she was still at school while we met and we dated for a while then i travel she join me few months later and we are living just fine . I'm 34 she is 32 ... the problem starts when her brother joined us here . he lived with us for 36 months . i accept him gave him all i could . but he wanted more like clubbing and all that i cant afford those life . the only reason he could afford those life was because I'm paying the rent and other utility bills ..

we have to travel to nigeria for a while so i have to tell him to get himself a place cos we will be gone for some months which he did but it seems difficult for him to cope with all the bills and his lifestyle . when we return from nigeria i got a place for us and let his brother be on his own this doesnt sit well with my wife and her brother ever since then i no longer enjoy my life everything i do becomes a taboo . just tired i just want a best way i can do away with all this without any drama . honestly I dont want the marriage no more . the only thing holding me down is the kids i dont know how to solve this puzzle

I have two angles to the issue, one is extreme, the other is mild, therefore two sets of suggestions.
This is the extreme angle: have you met with the brother before marriage to confirm if he is really the brother and not some boyfriend, when green card is involved, anything can happen.
Are you even sure the kids are yours? With the rise of reported cases of parternal fraud, its best for you not to live in denial. Suggestion: dig around the brother's story. Find out what your wife does with him behind your back, conduct DNA test. Your wife probably wants to frustrate you out of the house.

The mild angle:
Your wife is going through some personal changes. You need to allow her go through it, else, she will resent you. You need to ask her what she wants, tell her what you want, then you guys come to some agreement.
Whatever you do, involve a lawyer.

Zombiekiller010:


if this is the reason, let her start going to her brother's church, in fact let your kids be spending weekends their uncle. Repackage yourself, raise money for a new apartment and marry a new wife, if that one too isnt serious,let her move out , always have it in your mind that you must take care of your kids with your previous wife. Make money so that the mother of your kids won't be threatening you with divorce

Really the kids should spend the weekend with an uncle that smokes weed, are you for real and he should allow the wife go attend the brother church then why is he d husband or head of the house when it's the brother that makes decisions.

AwkaetitiBabe:
So there's no remedy to this marriage? Are you guys not rushing to separate? If you leave the house for her will she be able to pay the next rent? Well, in d end one's happiness matters. Be happy and take care of your kids.

i dont think she will be able to pay the rent thats why she want me to be paying the rent and everything else like it has been from the beginning

Saintmary:

I have two angles to the issue, one is extreme, the other is mild, therefore two sets of suggestions.
This is the extreme angle: have you met with the brother before marriage to confirm if he is really the brother and not some boyfriend, when green card is involved, anything can happen.
Are you even sure the kids are yours? With the rise of reported cases of parternal fraud, its best for you not to live in denial. Suggestion: dig around the brother's story. Find out what your wife does with him behind your back, conduct DNA test. Your wife probably wants to frustrate you out of the house.

The mild angle:
Your wife is going through some personal changes. You need to allow her go through it, else, she will resent you. You need to ask her what she wants, tell her what you want, then you guys come to some agreement.
Whatever you do, involve a lawyer.

i know for the fact that its his brother but i have always been tempted to do DNA at some points though my kids look like me and all that but you cant be too sure with all this .. she is not a cheat that i know for the fact ... Right now i'm on 2 week leave and i'm watching the kids while she is at work i even cook before she comes from work all she do when she return is to eat bath and sleep ... I'm giving her all the chance she needs for the changes ... she doesnt have to worry about cooking of doing anything .. so i dont think we are having problems here ..

ocmarion:


i know for the fact that its his brother but i have always been tempted to do DNA at some points though my kids look like me and all that but you cant be too sure with all this .. she is not a cheat that i know for the fact ... Right now i'm on 2 week leave and i'm watching the kids while she is at work i even cook before she comes from work all she do when she return is to eat bath and sleep ... I'm giving her all the chance she needs for the changes ... she doesnt have to worry about cooking of doing anything .. so i dont think we are having problems here ..

Good men syndrome. Its what happened when one plays according to the rule 100%. You become used to and predictable and women don't like these on the long run. After a while they become bored. It's who will beat them and torture them so much so that they'll be jumping from one mountain to the next to pray they like on the long run. The one that gives them peace of mind and constancy of needs they despise. Smh. Humanity and its allure for bad treatment sha.


Allow me comfort you again by saying there are many ladies praying for your kind and your kinds are in someone's prayer. If her sense doesn't return

Saintmary:

I have two angles to the issue, one is extreme, the other is mild, therefore two sets of suggestions.
This is the extreme angle: have you met with the brother before marriage to confirm if he is really the brother and not some boyfriend, when green card is involved, anything can happen.
Are you even sure the kids are yours? With the rise of reported cases of parternal fraud, its best for you not to live in denial. Suggestion: dig around the brother's story. Find out what your wife does with him behind your back, conduct DNA test. Your wife probably wants to frustrate you out of the house.

The mild angle:
Your wife is going through some personal changes. You need to allow her go through it, else, she will resent you. You need to ask her what she wants, tell her what you want, then you guys come to some agreement.
Whatever you do, involve a lawyer.

I am very tempted to concur with your extreme angle.

They might really be siblings however having sex. Cersei and James paroles in GOT.

There is more to the story than meets the eyes.

Hmmmmmmm, I wish your wife is here to tell her part of the story. Thank you for looking after your kids.

Heathserve, I didn't know you can talk like this. Are you an alpha male? But don't beat your wife o! Just saying but I like the trend of your narration that men should man up.

healthserve:




Good men syndrome. Its what happened when one plays according to the rule 100%. You become used to and predictable and women don't like these on the long run. After a while they become bored. It's who will beat them and torture them so much so that they'll be jumping from one mountain to the next to pray they like on the long run. The one that gives them peace of mind and constancy of needs they despise. Smh. Humanity and its allure for bad treatment sha.


Allow me comfort you again by saying there are many ladies praying for your kind and your kinds are in someone's prayer. If her sense doesn't return

ocmarion:
Hi Guys ... needs a public opinion on this . My wife said she is no longer interested in the marriage that she want to exist, in as much as i love her and the kids i believe its best for us ....

Then let her return to her father's house, while her parents return the dowry you paid on her as tradition demand.

i love my wife very much but i just cant live with her .. but there are two kids involved trust me those kids are the reason i keep it all together till this moment . she told she would have moved out if she have other places to go because she wasn't working and she broke the news immediately she find a job . we have been married for 7 year and she never work i give her monthly allowance and everything . this is the problem she find a job she is no longer interested in the marriage and she wont move out ... i have to move to the living room while she use our room because we live in 2 bedroom apartment . she said she wont leave the house and want me to rather leave the house for her ...

With due respect sir, YOU ARE NOT A MAN. Your wife "don see you finish". Irrespective, Send her to her father's house.

her new job is challenging and she hardly home .. i spend time with the kids more than she does sometimes she gets back at 8 sometimes 9 pm ... i would have done all the necessary thing in the house cook feed the kids and all that when she returns she will go straight to the kitchen eat then spend the rest of the day on the phone with family and friends .. sometimes she will abuse me to her friends and family ... i would have just move out but i fear for the welfare of my kids and its hard starting again getting a house and setting it up ... she is a good person though no one is perfect i just don't know what to do .. she has a brother that lives close to us her brother is one of the reason why we have many issues ... i told her to move in with her brother since she hardly home sometimes the kids are a slept when she return she said i should be the one leaving my house .. I'm not a weak man just don't want drama and i just want my kids to live in a peaceful environment ...

You are a weak man!

Once again, return her to her father's house

Goldencheese:
Heathserve, I didn't know you can talk like this. Are you an alpha male? But don't beat your wife o! Just saying but I like the trend of your narration that men should man up.

I'm no alpha. I'm on my own lane. My principles have been firm from day one. Mutual love and respect and consistency in good doing. I don't know what being an alpha implies. I won't beat a woman never. But I'll be the last man to cope with a disrespectful woman. After five counts the tolerance ends



I don't stand for bad treatment of women never. But men should take the reins and be the man. Simple.

I love your response. Believe so, too.

healthserve:



I don't stand for bad treatment of women never. But men should take the reins and be the man. Simple.

Goldencheese:
I love your response. Believe so, too.

Enough of women destroying men in the name of love. E Don do. We still haven't recovered from the loss of our brother, Sampson

No. It's a compliment. Alpha male don't take bullshit. My father was an alpha male. I am a cross breed between alpha and Beta male.


But like I said, I like your stance on this particular issue.

Regards.

healthserve:



I'm no alpha. I'm on my own lane. My principles have been firm from day one. Mutual love and respect and consistency in good doing. I don't know what being an alpha implies. I won't beat a woman never. But I'll be the last man to cope with a disrespectful woman. After five counts the tolerance ends



I don't stand for bad treatment of women never. But men should take the reins and be the man. Simple.

ocmarion:
most of her friends are single mothers and the reason , i have tried talking to her she is not getting it .. she just missed being single i tried as much as i can to let her understand that she has two kids to cater for she is just not getting it . i end up doing the kids cooking and all that all she want is to be out there . i cant kill myself

Stop sweating it! Let her move out!

The woman have zero love for you! You should salvage your dignity as a man by letting her go... Tell her to leave!

You can't leave your house for her! No king leaves his palace for his Queen. Let her leave and lead her choice lifestyle!

But please, DON'T ACCEPT HER BACK after she must have moved out

Goldencheese:
No. It's a compliment. Alpha male don't take bullshit. My father was an alpha male. I am a cross breed between alpha and Beta male.


But like I said, I like your stance on this particular issue.

Regards.

That's where my Alpha maleness roars. Na mumu man go allow woman destroy am. I send you back straight to your Papa house in one whole untouched piece and move on with my life.

healthserve:




Enough of women destroying men in the name of love. E Don do. We still haven't recovered from the loss of our brother, Sampson

Zombiekiller010:


if this is the reason, let her start going to her brother's church, in fact let your kids be spending weekends their uncle. Repackage yourself, raise money for a new apartment and marry a new wife, if that one too isnt serious,let her move out , always have it in your mind that you must take care of your kids with your previous wife. Make money so that the mother of your kids won't be threatening you with divorce

if op isn't alive, wont the wife do whatever she want? The wife should be allowed to do anything that pleases her and her family while the husband give her the space that she want, life is too short and sweet than to welcome drama from a stubborn wife, op should make sure he is doing his responsibility on his kids, so that they won't grow to hate their father and been brainwashed by the mother.

But not at the detriment of his children with a weed smoking uncle, you want the children to pick up such habit.the wife can go but not the children abeg.

ocmarion:
she doesnt want to talk to anyone else other than her family . and her families are the kind of people that never see wrong in what there kinsmen does . they only see the wrong of others . she reject the option of talking to a professional

That is her business not you. You don't beg someone to continue to live with you or accept you when you don't hurt them! It shows how weak you are.

Return her to her father's house and ensure they return the dowry you paid on her

Goldencheese:
That's where my Alpha maleness roars. Na mumu man go allow woman destroy am. I send you back straight to your Papa house in one whole untouched piece and move on with my life.

Now that's it. The moment a man gives up his ability to walk away from a woman, he turns into a doormat. We must keep them on thier toes by giving them the don't get too comfortable treatment. Too much pampering and comfort turns a woman into a beast the same way too much bad treatment turns her. Balance is key

Saintmary:
Oga, what have you been doing to her when you were working and she wasn't. If a child trips he will look forward, whereas if a adult trips, he will look backwards.
Start your story from the beginning.

This is irrelevant. He said she wants to go... He should let her go

Gbam.

healthserve:



Now that's it. The moment a man gives up his ability to walk away from a woman, he turns into a doormat. We must keep them on thier toes by giving them the don't get too comfortable treatment. Too much pampering and comfort turns a woman into a beast the same way too much bad treatment turns her. Balance is key

ocmarion:


the problem starts 2 years ago when her brother move close to where we live , her brother is 2 years older than me and he isnt married yet , he seems to know whats best for my home thats where the problem starts .. he has been talking to my wife to stop going to our church and be attending his own church because he supposed pastor is the only true man of God .. i kick against the idea and ever since then her whole family makes it to look as if i dont want her family around ...

Bros, them don see you finish say you no get mouth. You failed to stamp your authority at the start of your relationship with your woman and marriage. You allowed her family to have say in YOUR OWN household!

However, you can salvage yourselfer by returning her to her people!