fykes:
If u have lived long enough u will notice that no matter how a person is, someone of d opposite sex must like and want them. Begging is a sign of weakness, women hate weakness in men.
Politeness is a virtue, virtues can't be wrong. Finally, a man's worth is not "intricately" connected to his economic value. That's a lie and an inadequate human view that breeds all d vices and monstrous attitudes we see in men today.
A man's value is in d depth of his convictions and the strength of his character.
A girl may not see this line of thought, a woman will definitely do and it's more than age- the difference between a girl and a woman.

I don’t see any difference between a girl or a woman in Nigeria ooo. If a man cannot hold his own financially, it will be difficult to maintain a relationship with a Nigerian female. That’s my belief sha....I might be wrong.

A lot of good replies to your question already bro. Just focus on the things you love.

crackhaus:

Companionship is important, very important and if you're feeling lonely, then something is wrong and you must figure that out.

The mistake most men make is we often assume the cure to loneliness lies in having a female companion, this is very false and can lead you into the wrong woman. Try to get rid of your loneliness instead of accepting that you're fine with it, just don't make women the go-to alternative.

I learnt dat mistake via a bitter lesson,
Four years ago, I had everything a young man will want, a good job I loved, a house, a car and married to d love of my life and expecting a child.
Then my pregnant wife died. And I was lonely and bitter and angry and couldn't work. Then I got involved with a single mom just to have a semblance of that dream life I had, and that's how I opened the doors for the devil in my life.
Thank God I got out after 2 years and had to face the grief I was running from, dealt with myself and got straight again with life instead of chasing fantasies.
But two years is long enough to do damages...
Grief and loneliness can be terrible, but we just need toaccept and deal with it than seek other relationships

bukatyne:


Well, Goodluck to you.

You will certainly attract the kind of women you deserve.

I rather seek refuge in money than “seeking” for women who are not motivated by money—because they do not exist in Nigeria.

Thanks all the same.

Don't beg for or chase love. It's one of those things that come to you when you least expect it. With the right person it's accompanied by natural efforts and doesn't feel like work.

uninspired07:


Exactly. I don’t even have any politeness to give to any woman, except my mother ( I know this will attract insults, but it’s just the fact). Thanks for your contribution.

Why not? Being impolite isn't what makes you a man.

fykes:

I learnt dat mistake via a bitter lesson,
Four years ago, I had everything a young man will want, a good job I loved, a house, a car and married to d love of my life and expecting a child.
Then my pregnant wife died. And I was lonely and bitter and angry and couldn't work. Then I got involved with a single mom just to have a semblance of that dream life I had, and that's how I opened the doors for the devil in my life.
Thank God I got out after 2 years and had to face the grief I was running from, dealt with myself and got straight again with life instead of chasing fantasies.
But two years is long enough to do damages...
Grief and loneliness can be terrible, but we just need toaccept and deal with it than seek other relationships

So sorry to hear about this. Care to go into specifics about what you faced in your relationship with the single mom?

cococandy:


I see someone already said it before I did.

Yes even after 30 years of marriage. Don’t beg.

You can try to reason with the person if it’s a relationship you’re interested in keeping. There are many ways to work on a failing relationship but begging isn’t one of them.

Frankly it inflated the egos of folks who are innately abusive by nature and makes them treat you even worse because they enjoy seeing you diminished.

Okay for the first time I can agree with you on something. Wish I could type more. But damn hustle. Mode

fykes:
If u have lived long enough u will notice that no matter how a person is, someone of d opposite sex must like and want them. Begging is a sign of weakness, women hate weakness in men.
Politeness is a virtue, virtues can't be wrong. Finally, a man's worth is not "intricately" connected to his economic value. That's a lie and an inadequate human view that breeds all d vices and monstrous attitudes we see in men today.
A man's value is in d depth of his convictions and the strength of his character.
A girl may not see this line of thought, a woman will definitely do and it's more than age- the difference between a girl and a woman.

..
I love this post...

theButterfly:
Don't beg for or chase love. It's one of those things that come to you when you least expect it. With the right person it's accompanied by natural efforts and doesn't feel like work.

Why not? Being impolite isn't what makes you a man.

True.

uninspired07:


Hmmmm. I find partial pleasure in my work and reading but I can’t lie, I get lonely sometimes & need the feminine touch. I am not gay. I am just not ready to beg for one. The feeling has to be mutual.

My problem now is that I will feel more confident entering into a relationship with power of my own(money) due to my experience being a Nigerian. I am not ready or willing to enter into a relationship without money because my ego will now allow me face the consequence of that.

@bold:

I change the 'may have low self-esteem' to you have low self-esteem.

You only have money to offer in a woman. I would advise you stick to a poor one without vision or a woman who only needs money in a man.

Trust me, if you deviate from these women and pick a woman looking for substance in a man, you would both be frustrated.

She doesn't need your money and need things money cannot provide because she has her own and/or doesn't care for material things.

This is a sisterly advise and you are lucky; this is Nigeria where a number of women only need/want money without substance.

uninspired07:


I look forward to it.

Will. Be typed here

uninspired07:


I rather seek refuge in money than “seeking” for women who are not motivated by money—because they do not exist in Nigeria.

Thanks all the same.

Hahahaha!

Goodluck my brother.

uninspired07:


A man’s convictions & strength of character in Nigeria?

I rather stick to believe that a man’a value is tied to his economic value.

Okay.

Modified.

Note that no one is asking you to desist from seeking financial freedom. That’s important for both man and woman (even children ) . However, there’s a more fulfilling thing to be experienced for having a man who has more than money to offer. And this is coming from a woman. Unless you as a man have dated both a poor man and rich man and decided for yourself which one is better. Listen to the women. we are the ones dating these men.

You can make money, it’s wonderful. but also build yourself and your personality please. Otherwise you’ll just be a moneybag that will become irrelevant once the woman starts getting her own money.

uninspired07:


So sorry to hear about this. Care to go into specifics about what you faced in your relationship with the single mom?

Yeah... I care.. With experiences, I learn the lessons and dump d details

fykes:

Yeah... I care.. With experiences, I learn the lessons and dump d details

Ok then.

healthserve:



It means, there are ladies when] ou treat respectfully will consider you weak, and if you notice this, make sure you don't overlook it as they don't make good partners for the longterm. These kinds want relationships filled with abuse and drama and won't make healthy relationship companions. Trust me I've been there, there are woman that don't want smooth sailing relationships

Very very very very very true.

I wish every Nigerian man seeking a mate frames this in a corner of their minds.

Some women don't want respectful men.

bukatyne:


@bold:

I change the 'may have low self-esteem' to you have low self-esteem.

You only have money to offer in a woman. I would advise you stick to a poor one without vision or a woman who only needs money in a man.

Trust me, if you deviate from these women and pick a woman looking for substance in a man, you would both be frustrated.

She doesn't need your money and need things money cannot provide because she has her own and/or doesn't care for material things.

[b][/b]This is a sisterly advise and you are lucky; this is Nigeria where a number of women only need/want money without substance.

Yes, I am speaking with Nigerian women in mind.

Of course my approach will differ if dealing with non Nigerian girls.

Thanks.

uninspired07:


I don’t see any difference between a girl or a woman in Nigeria ooo. If a man cannot hold his own financially, it will be difficult to maintain a relationship with a Nigerian female. That’s my belief sha....I might be wrong.

That u don't see it, doesn't mean it's not there. U only see what ur eyes want to see.
And dude, that "everybody is doing it " line is a gross deception. There are lots of men and women out there holding it up and together in this immoral and sodden world.
Better believe it

uninspired07:


Edit: I have been indoctrinated into the money first mentality, but the money is not there yet.

Then go look for the money first.

crackhaus:

What would begging for the time and attention of women be a sign of?

I haven't told him to beg now, have I?

Begging for women's attention which is different from begging for a woman's attention and fleeing at the first sign of indifference are two sides of same coin:

Low self-esteem

bukatyne:


Very very very very very true.

I wish every Nigerian man seeking a mate frames this in a corner of their minds.

Some women don't want respectful men.

I went through hell and back before I realize some ladies were doomed for abusive partners as good mannered partners would be destroyed by them, hence fated conferred upon them abusive, wicked partners. It was upon this discovery I learnt not to overly criticise abusive husbands

vb

uninspired07:


Yes, I am speaking with Nigerian women in mind.

Of course my approach will differ if dealing with non Nigerian girls.

Thanks.

Hahahahahahaha

You are cracking me up!

Goodluck once again.

fykes:
If u have lived long enough u will notice that no matter how a person is, someone of d opposite sex must like and want them. Begging is a sign of weakness, women hate weakness in men.
Politeness is a virtue, virtues can't be wrong. Finally, a man's worth is not "intricately" connected to his economic value. That's a lie and an inadequate human view that breeds all d vices and monstrous attitudes we see in men today.
A man's value is in d depth of his convictions and the strength of his character.
A girl may not see this line of thought, a woman will definitely do and it's more than age- the difference between a girl and a woman.

Frameable quote

bukatyne:


I haven't told him to beg now, have I?

Begging for women's attention which is different from begging for a woman's attention and fleeing at the first sign of indifference are two sides of same coin:

Low self-esteem

So what? I should wait & bear the insults?

No. I rather face the insults with defence of my own, it will make me take a punch to the chin better.

Maybe my self esteem is tied to money, i didn’t know that’s low self esteem.

fykes:

I learnt dat mistake via a bitter lesson,
Four years ago, I had everything a young man will want, a good job I loved, a house, a car and married to d love of my life and expecting a child.
Then my pregnant wife died. And I was lonely and bitter and angry and couldn't work. Then I got involved with a single mom just to have a semblance of that dream life I had, and that's how I opened the doors for the devil in my life.
Thank God I got out after 2 years and had to face the grief I was running from, dealt with myself and got straight again with life instead of chasing fantasies.
But two years is long enough to do damages...
Grief and loneliness can be terrible, but we just need toaccept and deal with it than seek other relationships

Sorry about your loss.

fykes:
If u have lived long enough u will notice that no matter how a person is, someone of d opposite sex must like and want them. Begging is a sign of weakness, women hate weakness in men.
Politeness is a virtue, virtues can't be wrong. Finally, a man's worth is not "intricately" connected to his economic value. That's a lie and an inadequate human view that breeds all d vices and monstrous attitudes we see in men today.
A man's value is in d depth of his convictions and the strength of his character.
A girl may not see this line of thought, a woman will definitely do and it's more than age- the difference between a girl and a woman.

Albeit many factors are connected to/with acceptance and interpretation of very good manners. To make matters worse is that more than often actions and intents are almost always misinterpreted by women until deep down in marriage. And the misinterpretation of good wills and intent is what is always deemed as weak and unmanly
Our actions in relationships alone isn't what matters but the I terpretation of the other party, an unstable/unwhole being would never appreciate good gestures as they are but would always mirror them in terms of strength or weak ess

cococandy:


Okay.

Modified.

Note that no one is asking you to desist from seeking financial freedom. That’s important for both man and woman (even children ) . However, there’s a more fulfilling thing to be experienced for having a man who has more than money to offer. And this is coming from a woman. Unless you as a man have dated both a poor man and rich man and decided for yourself which one is better. Listen to the women. we are the ones dating these men.

You can make money, it’s wonderful. but also build yourself and your personality please. Otherwise you’ll just be a moneybag that will become irrelevant once the woman starts getting her own money .

The smart ones ensures that never happens. What hold would they have over the woman?

bukatyne:


Frameable quote

I dont mean to spar with you but I think you just want men to face the vagaries of the chasing phase. It’s not all men that are that patient to chase, call and beg for a woman’s attention.

Some just prefer mutual attraction or knowing that their money is the attraction.

uninspired07:


Hmmmm. I find partial pleasure in my work and reading but I can’t lie, I get lonely sometimes & need the feminine touch. I am not gay. I am just not ready to beg for one. The feeling has to be mutual.

My problem now is that I will feel more confident entering into a relationship with power of my own(money) due to my experience being a Nigerian. I am not ready or willing to enter into a relationship without money because my ego will now allow me face the consequence of that.

What you mean there is sex, no?

Regarding your second paragraph, there are two interpretations I can glean from that:
1. You might actually have a self-esteem issue as stated by bukatyne, if you attach your self-confidence to money.
2. It may be a case of just trying to avoid embarrassing yourself in the hands of a woman in the long run, which is a little pessimistic if you ask me.

How about I offer you a solution?

Forget about your financial standing and just try getting into a relationship - remember, it has to start on a basis of mutual interest, not one where you begged for it. Once in it, do what you can emotionally as well as financially. Don't do anything more, don't do anything less.
You must keep it at the back of your mind though that it is a relationship and it can end at any time through no fault of yours. Knowing this will save you from the embarrassment you think you will feel if a woman breaks up with you because you already understood it is one of those things - this make it easier to move on with your self esteem intact.

What the above solution has effectively done is give you control over yourself and your confidence - it means you can have a relationship and even if it ends the next second, then it will be one of those things not worth feeling embarrassed over.

fykes:

That u don't see it, doesn't mean it's not there. U only see what ur eyes want to see.
And dude, that "everybody is doing it " line is a gross deception. There are lots of men and women out there holding it up and together in this immoral and sodden world.
Better believe it

The fact that someone is afraid to chart his/her own course because everyone is doing it is a huge sign of low self-esteem.

Toks2008:


Then go look for the money first.

I am on the path jareee,though it may tarry.

I can’t just face the wahala or begging.