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Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by codesngr(m): 3:35pm On Dec 29, 2019
Mrsprissy:
Good evening my brothers and sisters in the house. First , I am not a troll . I've been a member on NL since 2008 and am very active, but I prefer using a new account for my story to seek advice and also learn from other experienced people in this great group.

On christmas day hubby and I were invited to attend a special dinner at his friend's house and I picked a nice outfit for him to wear on the day, he wore another outfit, a t shirt and jeans his every day clothes so I asked him politely to go and change, he got angry at me and told me to keep quiet and he went inside.

He was in our room for an hour while the kids and I were still waiting for him, I even sent the kids in their room to play, he later came out he only changed his top but didn't changed the trousers and trainers. I had decided not to say anything for peace to reign, so as we were leaving, I asked him if we could take a family picture, he just snapped and slapped me and started beating me up so badly, he only stopped because my children were screaming and crying for him to stop.

I am so pained because before the incident happened, we were fine, no quarrel at all, I just don't understand his reasons for beating me like this and I swear to God, I didn't say something to make him this angry, he left me there and went out, his friend later called to know if we were still coming because he couldn't reach hubby on the phone, I told him we are coming.

I cleaned myself, changed my clothes and I left with the kids to his friend's house, to my surprise he was already there, we acted like everything was normal and I tried hard to stop tears coming because I was in pained.

For the past 3 days he has been acting as if I did wronged him, he doesn't talk to me, he doesn't eat my foods and he left the room and he is now sleeping in our son's room. I just don't know what to do again

We always know women play victim role. So what you trying to say is ur husband just woke up and start beating you without offending him angry . This story is not complete . Tell us the truth. What did you do that innocent man . Since you said he is not doing that before , then you did something huge to him to trigger the beast
Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by nnaeyes6: 3:35pm On Dec 29, 2019
Madam


Ur husband is having a rough time and u should notice that u are part of the issue so rough on him and that is why he is sleeping in his son's room.
Questions:
Have u chatted what are not to chat?
Have u done in past or present what u are not to do?

Very importantly,
Did u ask him to go and change authoritatively in front of his kids which u ought to have been doing unconsciously but he doesn't like?

Anyway

Resolving it is to go on ur need only if u see him as ur lord just like Sarah saw Abraham as his lord, or keep searching for answer by searching for ur right.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by mrphysics(m): 3:36pm On Dec 29, 2019
AwkaetitiBabe:
OK. Your husband is simply lashing out. Allow him pick his clothes, don't seek to control him. If he asks for your input, good and fine. You probably tabbed his looks, and he retaliated with beating.
Exactly. Some women don't understand that some of us don't like when we don't dictate what you put on and you turn out to dictate same to us.

I don't know if I would react same way but one thing is sure, I will be very angry. A lady recently told me never to cut my hair so low again. That having a low cut make me look like a kid grin grin I was angry and told her never to wear a bra again.

She then asked how wearing bra and hair correlate. I told her it's very simple. Since she now dictate the kind of hair I should barb, then I will dictate the kind of clothes she should wear.

Maybe we are few

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by Pataricatering(f): 3:37pm On Dec 29, 2019
Where do women get this spirit of stupidity and docility from ? I’m sorry to be so blunt but my dear - u are a foot mat ! Ur husband has absolutely no regard for you - and I don’t blame him - cause u seem to have no regard for yourself - like a lot of women who throw away dignity and self- esteem at the altar of marriage ! How can a husband who is supposed to love , respect and cherish u beat the living daylights out of you and ur still here begging people to understand that u did nothing to make him angry - even if you made him angry he has absolutely no right to pummel you ! He even still has d audacity to be acting like he did nothing wrong ? D only advice I have for you is - no one will ever respect you if you don’t respect yourself and no one will ever value you if you don’t value yourself !

6 Likes

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by TwentyOnePilots(m): 3:37pm On Dec 29, 2019
[quote author=doitforyou post=85297838]You didn’t deserve to get beat up on Christmas Day.

Personally, I believe that anytime violence is introduced in a relationship, the relationship is done. It never happens only once especially when the abuser is not remorseful. It’s even worse that your children are exposed to violence.

If you apologize for being beaten or you entertain his silent treatment you’ve given him a green light for future beatings.


Exactly, What you allow is what will continue! undecided

5 Likes

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by LINTUNE(m): 3:38pm On Dec 29, 2019
DavidEsq:

Wall no dey here na. Na beg I dey beg u, talk am na
grin..amebo kee u there,woman wraper
Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by Frankest20(m): 3:38pm On Dec 29, 2019
If what you said is true then your husband needs prayers. This is so heartbreaking and am sure he will one day have to find you a good woman once again. Most women in our houses today are truly not supposed to leave with men and you are passing through this. Keep praying and believing he will soon realize himself.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by Flier: 3:38pm On Dec 29, 2019
Thank God for your life,AtleAst it was just a slap,I would have been the happiest in the world if my Christmas was all about someone slapping me 10 times
I spent my own Christmas following ambulance around the town looking for a better hospital,I spent the whole night at emergency ward
Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by InvertedHammer: 3:38pm On Dec 29, 2019
Mrsprissy:
Good evening my brothers and sisters in the house. First , I am not a troll . I've been a member on NL since 2008 and am very active, but I prefer using a new account for my story to seek advice and also learn from other experienced people in this great group.

On christmas day hubby and I were invited to attend a special dinner at his friend's house and I picked a nice outfit for him to wear on the day, he wore another outfit, a t shirt and jeans his every day clothes so I asked him politely to go and change, he got angry at me and told me to keep quiet and he went inside.

He was in our room for an hour while the kids and I were still waiting for him, I even sent the kids in their room to play, he later came out he only changed his top but didn't changed the trousers and trainers. I had decided not to say anything for peace to reign, so as we were leaving, I asked him if we could take a family picture, he just snapped and slapped me and started beating me up so badly, he only stopped because my children were screaming and crying for him to stop.

I am so pained because before the incident happened, we were fine, no quarrel at all, I just don't understand his reasons for beating me like this and I swear to God, I didn't say something to make him this angry, he left me there and went out, his friend later called to know if we were still coming because he couldn't reach hubby on the phone, I told him we are coming.

I cleaned myself, changed my clothes and I left with the kids to his friend's house, to my surprise he was already there, we acted like everything was normal and I tried hard to stop tears coming because I was in pained.

For the past 3 days he has been acting as if I did wronged him, he doesn't talk to me, he doesn't eat my foods and he left the room and he is now sleeping in our son's room. I just don't know what to do again
/
In a case like this, I expect women to leave 90% of the pertinent details. After all, it is all about soliciting for emotional support.

Why would you tell a grown man to go and change as if he is your little kid? You were very disrespectful. Remember....it is not always what we say but how we say it.
\

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by Nobody: 3:39pm On Dec 29, 2019
MariaAngeles:

I admire your patience, I swear!
Including @Thebutterfly
How do you guys do it ? Nothing gets to you, and you both still take the time to address some irrational comments . cheesy
I take most of the threads on Nairaland with a grain of salt these days. lol.

I appreciate your use of "irrational" b|c his comment and suggestion that she should beg him, is. It takes away accountability from him and a-okays him repeating his actions (which he would) b/c he's conditioning her to be doing the apologizing (which is what he's doing with the way he's treating her after the beating). Here is a man who knows what he's doing, not someone with a mental illness. Further, this whole idea of begging abusers in a domestic violent situation is, especially if the victim is female, absurd and reeks of double standards. If it's the wife who had slapped and beat her husband, we know @Enwhen wouldn't tell the husband to go beg/apologize to his wife.

In law, restorative justice is a process in which the offender apologizes to the victim, is held responsible for his/her actions, and makes amends to repair whatever harm has been done to the victim and the community. It's highly practiced in aboriginal communities, juvenile cases and depending on the crime, with adults in the larger community, as it's known to reduce recidivism (the chances of the crime being repeated). It's only in Nigeria that a man will beat a woman and someone will tell her to be doing the apologizing.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by habeesola(f): 3:39pm On Dec 29, 2019
There is more to this story




But if what you wrote is true, sorry to say this your hubby is an animal, in the first place why will a man hit a woman, it's not proper any man who hit a woman is refer to as an animal.






I will advise you to sit him down, only if he agree, maybe you can ask him one or two questions and the main reason why he beat you.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by otunbadan(m): 3:39pm On Dec 29, 2019
Check and make sure he didn’t see any flirting messages or he is suspect in you re cheating

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Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by SlimzDboss(m): 3:39pm On Dec 29, 2019
I’m a married man also and it hurts me when I read about such things.
Please just be patient with him and try to talk to him first probably he’s frustrated and if no positive response, then open up to his mom or someone he respects a lot so he/she knows what’s going on in your family cause you can’t just keep quiet over this.
I pray God restores love and peace in your home in Jesus name.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by udemzyudex(m): 3:40pm On Dec 29, 2019
healthserve:



If he snapped then bulk negative emotions must have domiciled his mind before then. Are you guys heavily indebted?

Heavily indebted and decided to reduce or pay up the debt by beating her?


Na wa oooo.

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by Pataricatering(f): 3:40pm On Dec 29, 2019
Pls stop giving stupid advice .
healthserve:




Here they come single ladies trying to seduce married women out of their marriages to join the leagues of pseudo-independent but frustrated women.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by Depressed101: 3:40pm On Dec 29, 2019
Mrsprissy:
Thank you so much everyone for your advice . Like I said earlier nothing actually happened between us before Christmas , everything was okey , on Monday December 23rd we went out shopping for Christmas after we took the kids out to the playgrounds and we ended the day with a nice dinner at the restaurant. On Christmas morning we woke up fine no arguments, he left the house and went to get his hair cut, I picked up his clothes and left it on the bed by the time he get back so he can wear them, he came back very normal on a good mood , the only time he got angry was when I asked him to go and change , I didn’t raise my voice , I only told him the clothes doesn’t look nice for the special occasion that was when he told me to keep quiet and I did. He took 1 hour just to change the T-shirt to a shirt and I wasn’t not happy but I didn’t say anything because he wasn’t in the right mood. Yes He beat me just because I have asked him to take a family picture , I swear to God I’m telling the truth and if I’m not lying because it won’t put any money to my bank account. This is the 2nd beating after 6 years of marriage , but this is one was worse than the first one. Something did happened back in October ( his fault) but we have already settle everything and went back to normal. I know it doesn’t make sense to some of you , even myself I just don’t understand why did he beat me with so much hatred when I did nothing wrong
this post is unnecessary if you haven't asked him why he beat you... What ever happened to communication. It might be that you have unknowingly offended him before then, or should i say you hurt his ego with the way you asked him to go change his clothe,(that will be childish of him if that is the case,).

Consider this also, maybe somebody might have told him something bad about you, and he is thinking deeply about...


Worst case scenario is, this might be a spiritual attack to scatter your family...

Either way, i urge you to be a virtuous woman, protect your family, and that which is yours (your husband) from unwanted bad influence...

Have a heart talk with him at the dead of the night.. And ask him where you have wronged him.... If this doesn't yead a good result, your next step should be involving someone he respects alot...

DON'T GO ABOUT WITHOUT COVERING YOUR FAMILY IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS AGAINST SPIRITUAL ATTACKS..
SUO BEUNES

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by GuestLog: 3:41pm On Dec 29, 2019
Mrsprissy:
Good evening my brothers and sisters in the house. First , I am not a troll . I've been a member on NL since 2008 and am very active, but I prefer using a new account for my story to seek advice and also learn from other experienced people in this great group.

On christmas day hubby and I were invited to attend a special dinner at his friend's house and I picked a nice outfit for him to wear on the day, he wore another outfit, a t shirt and jeans his every day clothes so I asked him politely to go and change, he got angry at me and told me to keep quiet and he went inside.

He was in our room for an hour while the kids and I were still waiting for him, I even sent the kids in their room to play, he later came out he only changed his top but didn't changed the trousers and trainers. I had decided not to say anything for peace to reign, so as we were leaving, I asked him if we could take a family picture, he just snapped and slapped me and started beating me up so badly, he only stopped because my children were screaming and crying for him to stop.

I am so pained because before the incident happened, we were fine, no quarrel at all, I just don't understand his reasons for beating me like this and I swear to God, I didn't say something to make him this angry, he left me there and went out, his friend later called to know if we were still coming because he couldn't reach hubby on the phone, I told him we are coming.

I cleaned myself, changed my clothes and I left with the kids to his friend's house, to my surprise he was already there, we acted like everything was normal and I tried hard to stop tears coming because I was in pained.

For the past 3 days he has been acting as if I did wronged him, he doesn't talk to me, he doesn't eat my foods and he left the room and he is now sleeping in our son's room. I just don't know what to do again
I have questions for you!

1:When was the last time you both had sex? As in you really spent time just to satisfy him?

2: Go through your messages and chats and look for any trace of flirt. He may be suspecting you but have no proof.

3: Do you get on his nerves with pressure? Think about this carefully.

4: Do you follow his instructions without questions? Maybe he speaks and you do something else different. Might have been so for a long time.

I asked because your husband maybe going through one four turmoils

*Sexual deprivation
*Mistrust
*Disrespected
*Misunderstood

Please answer!

1 Like

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by otokx(m): 3:41pm On Dec 29, 2019
Only married people should give advice wink

1 Like

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by mrphysics(m): 3:41pm On Dec 29, 2019
Mrsprissy:
Thank you so much everyone for your advice . Like I said earlier nothing actually happened between us before Christmas , everything was okey , on Monday December 23rd we went out shopping for Christmas after we took the kids out to the playgrounds and we ended the day with a nice dinner at the restaurant. On Christmas morning we woke up fine no arguments, he left the house and went to get his hair cut, I picked up his clothes and left it on the bed by the time he get back so he can wear them, he came back very normal on a good mood , the only time he got angry was when I asked him to go and change , I didn’t raise my voice , I only told him the clothes doesn’t look nice for the special occasion that was when he told me to keep quiet and I did. He took 1 hour just to change the T-shirt to a shirt and I wasn’t not happy but I didn’t say anything because he wasn’t in the right mood. Yes He beat me just because I have asked him to take a family picture , I swear to God I’m telling the truth and if I’m not lying because it won’t put any money to my bank account. This is the 2nd beating after 6 years of marriage , but this is one was worse than the first one. Something did happened back in October ( his fault) but we have already settle everything and went back to normal. I know it doesn’t make sense to some of you , even myself I just don’t understand why did he beat me with so much hatred when I did nothing wrong

It's simple madam. I am sure your husband never dictated the kind of things you should wear. Most men (including me) find it so disrespectful if we allow you do your thing and you then turn a dictator to us.

I don't know if I have same personality with your husband but I must tell you, I will be very very angry. Big things don't really get me angry but just a little thing like this could trigger me anyway.
Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by godfrey01(m): 3:41pm On Dec 29, 2019
Mrsprissy:
Good evening my brothers and sisters in the house. First , I am not a troll . I've been a member on NL since 2008 and am very active, but I prefer using a new account for my story to seek advice and also learn from other experienced people in this great group.

On christmas day hubby and I were invited to attend a special dinner at his friend's house and I picked a nice outfit for him to wear on the day, he wore another outfit, a t shirt and jeans his every day clothes so I asked him politely to go and change, he got angry at me and told me to keep quiet and he went inside.

He was in our room for an hour while the kids and I were still waiting for him, I even sent the kids in their room to play, he later came out he only changed his top but didn't changed the trousers and trainers. I had decided not to say anything for peace to reign, so as we were leaving, I asked him if we could take a family picture, he just snapped and slapped me and started beating me up so badly, he only stopped because my children were screaming and crying for him to stop.

I am so pained because before the incident happened, we were fine, no quarrel at all, I just don't understand his reasons for beating me like this and I swear to God, I didn't say something to make him this angry, he left me there and went out, his friend later called to know if we were still coming because he couldn't reach hubby on the phone, I told him we are coming.

I cleaned myself, changed my clothes and I left with the kids to his friend's house, to my surprise he was already there, we acted like everything was normal and I tried hard to stop tears coming because I was in pained.

For the past 3 days he has been acting as if I did wronged him, he doesn't talk to me, he doesn't eat my foods and he left the room and he is now sleeping in our son's room. I just don't know what to do again


Sorry for your ordeal.. Its things like this that is making us even don't want to marry. First thing, you can't say you didn't wrong him. You shouldn't have asked him to go and change his clothes
We men have favourite clothes that no matter how dirty it is, we just clean and wear it. I am not married yet, I leave the married men to advice you. But what I know is, you husband is going through some thing you are not aware of, and its the pain of that thing he is going through that triggered is anger that made him hit you... Check if he is a gambler or has involved in one online stuff that ripped in badly..
Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by awoo47: 3:42pm On Dec 29, 2019
Ardar:
angry angry All these people advising you to beg him, talk to him, ask him what you did wrong blah blah blah are all hypocrites.

If the reverse was the case, all of them would advise the man to leave the marriage ASAP.

I am even surprise no body has asked you to pray for him to change.
were not in USA where laws favor and protect women na. so it's better she take am easy to avoid 3rd beating
Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by Tarabye: 3:43pm On Dec 29, 2019
Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by GuestLog: 3:43pm On Dec 29, 2019
Vyolet:
Is this his first time? If No, then nothing should surprise you again, you should be used to it while waiting till he kills you finally.

I don't understand why you still had to attend the party though, so after chopping beating in the presence of your kids, you still had the mind to attend party, who are you trying to impress exactly?

Anyways, when your husband calms down, try and ask him what you did wrong and if he asks you to stay on your lane, make sure you don't leave your lane to avoid more touching stories. While staying on your lane, you should expect more because he doesn't seem remorseful.
The woman stubborn and he's fed up.
Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by maasoap(m): 3:43pm On Dec 29, 2019
Mrsprissy:

You had no business going to that place again that day. To add salt to injury, he was there already instead of going somewhere quiet to think over his action and violent reaction towards you. It is not fair at all.

Going there truly showed the length at which you're ready to go to have a peaceful home and I respect you for that.

Beating you is one thing, a bad decision to begin with. Beating you in front of the kids was another thing entirely. He's demeaning you and exposing your children to violence. He's equally raising kids who will hate him for life no matter how much he spends on them. Kids will always side with their mother first.

You have to talk to him to know what made him snapped like that. Has he been beating you before? You have to inform his relatives if this persists. If it still persists, separation would be a good start before someone kills you

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Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by lolybaby(f): 3:43pm On Dec 29, 2019
thorpido:
That must be his own way of celebrating Christmas with you.

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by Halimat04(f): 3:43pm On Dec 29, 2019
Uncompleted gist....

1 Like

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by ogawisdom(m): 3:43pm On Dec 29, 2019
Ardar:
What are you still doing in that marriage? Is it when he finally kills you that you'll understand that your horseband is gradually turning into a beast.

I don't know when women in abusive marriages will get sense, the day any man lays his finger on me especially when unprovoked will be the end of the peace and sanity in that marriage.

We will fight to our last breath, it's either he kills me or I kill him or we kill each other, but if we both survive he won't try such rubbish again.

Lol when kids are invited to give advice what do you expect cool 95% of all married women have received at least a slap from their husband esp marriages over 10 yrs so it can be managed esp if not recurrent n the man remorseful
Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by awoo47: 3:44pm On Dec 29, 2019
healthserve:




Here they come single ladies trying to seduce married women out of their marriages to join the leagues of pseudo-independent but frustrated women.
let dem leave marriages na. More free sugar mummies for single guys
Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by Pataricatering(f): 3:44pm On Dec 29, 2019
Till he kills her , abi ? U people are cruel and have no conscience! Women are not human to you - if she was d one beating her husband like this would you give this kind of advice? Even if she insults her husband people like u will say - send her packing ! I don’t blame you and fellow men like you - it’s d stupidity of women who accept inhumane treatments like this because they are “ Mrs “ something .
Frankest20:
If what you said is true then your husband needs prayers. This is so heartbreaking and am sure he will one day have to find you a good woman once again. Most women in our houses today are truly not supposed to leave with men and you are passing through this. Keep praying and believing he will soon realize himself.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by LINTUNE(m): 3:44pm On Dec 29, 2019
MariaAngeles:

I dare any man to try that trash with me... grin
Oh Jehovah!
In fact, make e be say na you sef... Hahahahahaha.....
keep quiet,na so una go de make mouth..its ur type that will mumu pass for such men, grin the man fit De beat u, come de rape u join tongue

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by tiwiex(m): 3:44pm On Dec 29, 2019
healthserve:




Or she should fill in the details or take down her thread
She has filled the details. Why is this not even possible? There have been more confusing situations. We are not as rational or logical as we think we are. This might just be the scenario as painted.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Beat Me On Christmas Day by nanaman(m): 3:45pm On Dec 29, 2019
crackhaus:
1. I asked him politely to go and change, he got angry at me and told me to keep quiet and he went inside.

2. I asked him if we could take a family picture, he just snapped and slapped me and started beating me up so badly.

After giving you the benefit of a doubt and assuming this is exactly how it happened - then your husband has definitely gone mad to react to absolutely nothing.
Please politely ask him if there is madness running in his family, make sure you ask him from a safe distance because he will surely use the nearest furniture to kill you.

Madness does not have a cure, but it can be managed.
Arrange to have him put in chains and get him on medications till everything returns to normal.

Must he vent his anger on the wife.? Why, in the presence the children? Seriously, the children are learning bad traits. domestic violence is NO NO for me no matter the anger and I think women should start a forum where they can stand and fight for their right. It sucks to treat women has second fiddle. I detest it with compassion. We are all humans and we should be treated with respect especially our spouse.

Apologies for my vexing here. Just curious on what women folks could do to assist the vulnerable amidst them in situations of domestic violence. As a social worker, the rate is getting high and the children are suffering alot. It is evident in the society we live in. Men are not helping situations at all.

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