bukatyne:


This thread is about men na.

A lot of men are really suffering and they do not have help as much as women.

Even NGOs named abuse centers (without the women tag) would prioritize women and children.

In Nigeria, the face of domestic violence is still women.

Your pot of wisdom is very deep and full.

Gender issues bear the women and children as the major victims because they're considered the vulnerable group, but these women can do equally wickedness in terms of abusing other members of the society; men, women and children. Them just wicked if them wan wicked.

sassysure:

And u haven't seen a woman that will knock you out with one blow?

I saw a video of one woman giving it to her husband who wanted to flex his muscle on her.
It was fun to watch

Good lord! Lol!

I remember when one girl pounded my life then in school, Chai! I was strong she was stronger.

I was just no match for her, since that day I promised never to hit a woman because she might surprise me.

sassysure:

I'm not trying to sell anything.
The only explanation is that some don't normally retaliate most times because of peace and then society don't care much about cases like that.
Men are very very abusive.

Those things u think a women abuse women with, men use things like that twice.
Meet reverend fathers not pastors, they will tell u the undiluted truth about male emotional abuse. Its tolerated and hidden.
Why do married women look for emotional comfort outside?
From emotional comfort, the inevitable will happen.
Leave matter.
For every 10 married women, more than 6 are emotionally abused by their husband.
Some women are even so scared of their husband to talk anyhow to him.
Women still use sir to address their husband.
Is it the person u answer sir, u will talk to anyhow?
Guy, forget.

You are not getting me.
I am not disputing the fact that there are men who are also verbally abusive.

But to claim that there are more men doing it in comparison to women, is simply not true.

cassyrooy:
Acknowledging that it has no place in a matrimonial setting is enough, not who perpetrate it against the other.

I've seen both cases in my childhood years and in my adult life too.

Few days back I had to grant someone ‘space’ when she asked for it. She once asked me that ‘‘if I can't handle her, I should let her go and meet those who can’’.

There was a little fight in September where I told her she was causing me pain, and she needs to adjust but her reply was, she doesn't change for anyone. I just bottled up until this recent one where her own lamentations where much and demanded I heed, I was just laughing because I wanted to negotiate things but she was adamant to resolve my own complaints.

Lol! I've spilled more than enough self.

But my point is, abuse goes both ways and should be seen as such, not who does more or less. Anyone can be a victim of emotional (and other forms of) abuse. And funny enough, even in ordinary friendship, people can be abused.

At least, u weren't biased.
It happens both ways, then men double theirs with physical abuse.

I have seen both.
Have sat with emotionally abused women who pretend all is okay to the public.
Yes, all should be condemned but the way the guys were projecting it as a female things only irked my sensibility.
I don't condone either but the guys should stop this old tales that it's mainly a woman thing.

crackhaus:

You are not getting me.
I am not disputing the fact that there are men who are also verbally abusive.

But to claim that there are more men doing it in comparison to women, is simply not true.

Sighs.

sassysure:

Physical strength.
Or u don't know some women are extremely strong?

Of course, but why on earth will I be with an extremely strong woman who is stronger than I am, with all the muscles and all?
I don't suffer from gender dysphoria na.

I like my women looking feminine and fit - fitness is not a measure of physical strength.

cassyrooy:
Good lord! Lol!

I remember when one girl pounded my life then in school, Chai! I was strong she was stronger.

I was just no match for her, since that day I promised never to hit a woman because she might surprise me.

U are very funny

My mum said strong women has single bone(don't know the meaning) but I wouldn't want to be near such people.

I have seen a woman beat her brother in law to stupor.
The guy has been disturbing her life so much until the day he slapped her. Her husband wasn't around.
We all heard scream and ran to their house.
When we saw that the lady has upper hand, even the guys were reluctant to separate them
My guy man later said he was soft on her cos she is a woman
See serious beating and this woman is like broomstick

crackhaus:

Of course, but why on earth will I be with an extremely strong woman who is stronger than I am, with all the muscles and all?
I don't suffer from gender dysphoria na.

I like my women looking feminine and fit - fitness is not a measure of physical strength.

So u believe there are strong women?
Hahahaaaa
We are getting somewhere

bukatyne:


Hahahaha

You have the sequence ready:

Constant abuses - - - - - one slap - - - - - - - apologies (which includes & & &

On a serious note, I do not consider the resulting slap 'physical abuse'.

It is more of a keep quiet mechanism especially when the abuses dey enter body.

Maybe because I went to boarding house sha. You run your mouth too much, you chop slap.

If you are too big/strong, people will leave you till one day they will mass you.

When our seniors that are very wicked finish WAEC, we gather and mass them.

I insulted one senior like that and felt bad years later sha.

I had to repent of it.

P.S.: mass = joint beating.

Some peeps are too much to handle alone

You are on track right there.
That's exactly the point of the slap.

Good one. True talk.

sassysure:

So u believe there are strong women?
Hahahaaaa
We are getting somewhere

Of course na, I never claimed there aren't any.
I just wouldn't be with one

sassysure:

At least, u weren't biased.
It happens both ways, then men double theirs with physical abuse.

I have seen both.
Have sat with emotionally abused women who pretend all is okay to the public.
Yes, all should be condemned but the way the guys were projecting it as a female things only irked my sensibility.
I don't condone either but the guys should stop this old tales that it's mainly a woman thing.

Women can instigate the abuse by being unnecessarily stubborn to their spouses, and you know many men would go by the cultural way of ‘being the man’ and must instill discipline for the woman to comply.

Nagging me, behaving as you like, utterly ridiculous behaviours can sum up as emotional abuse. Imagine I ask my wife to do something in a certain way and she goes contrary to my instructions and I snap, I expect remorsefulness and quietness so I can soak up the deeds and see the situations (because I'm naturally predisposed to looking at things differently, and understanding the consequences of any changes and how to manage through). Failure to follow this easy way out, I might totally fault her as disobedient to my instructions.

Hope you understand my description above?

For the men, it can be hard to get women to sometimes see things our way too. And because of this disparity in view and approaches, the man will cut her off, and sidelines her about decisions because it'll cause heated debate about ‘having his ways all the time’.

I've heard many family members complain to me and I'd wonder who's wrong and who's right because their matter doesn't make much sense to me as to why it even led to quarrel.

Early this year, my close friend and her husband had a fight over pot of soup.

The man was like, ‘she let the soup spoil so that I'll bring money for a new one’ and the lady's defense was ‘you know the weather we're in, it can make soup spoil overnight’.

Both had compelling stance and I was in the middle, unfortunately, they couldn't resolve things and a fight broke out and I received punches from both parties, lol! What happened, the woman had been nagging the man for sometime and he used that channel to vent, and the woman had been nursing a grudge too against the man's behaviours and they used that outlet to fight.

We can only understand things differently because it's not us being in the midst of all the actions. But being in the heat, we are likely to behave in another way.

crackhaus:

Of course na, I never claimed there aren't any.
I just wouldn't be with one

They are strong in bedmatics.
True.
Anything you want, even wresting, they are ready

sassysure:

U are very funny

My mum said strong women has single bone(don't know the meaning) but I wouldn't want to be near such people.

I have seen a woman beat her brother in law to stupor.
The guy has been disturbing her life so much until the day he slapped her. Her husband wasn't around.
We all heard scream and ran to their house.
When we saw that the lady has upper hand, even the guys were reluctant to separate them
My guy man later said he was soft on her cos she is a woman
See serious beating and this woman is like broomstick

Lol! It's not funny, I lost my rep cus of it o.

And that single bone thing, I've got it but I've been trying anger control and management for years now, that's why I walk away from things easily. Instead I lose my temper and create damaging scenes, walking is better. But I can still be a very bad person if I set to deal with anyone, I'm no saint, I just like my methods.

bukatyne:


This thread is about men na.

A lot of men are really suffering and they do not have help as much as women.

Even NGOs named abuse centers (without the women tag) would prioritize women and children.

In Nigeria, the face of domestic violence is still women.

i didnt deny men suffering

cassyrooy:
Women can instigate the abuse by being unnecessarily stubborn to their spouses, and you know many men would go by the cultural way of ‘being the man’ and must instill discipline for the woman to comply.

Nagging me, behaving as you like, utterly ridiculous behaviours can sum up as emotional abuse. Imagine I ask my wife to do something in a certain way and she goes contrary to my instructions and I snap, I expect remorsefulness and quietness so I can soak up the deeds and see the situations (because I'm naturally predisposed to looking at things differently, and understanding the consequences of any changes and how to manage through). Failure to follow this easy way out, I might totally fault her as disobedient to my instructions.

Hope you understand my description above?

For the men, it can be hard to get women to sometimes see things our way too. And because of this disparity in view and approaches, the man will cut her off, and sidelines her about decisions because it'll cause heated debate about ‘having his ways all the time’.

I've heard many family members complain to me and I'd wonder who's wrong and who's right because their matter doesn't make much sense to me as to why it even led to quarrel.

Early this year, my close friend and her husband had a fight over pot of soup.

The man was like, ‘she let the soup spoil so that I'll bring money for a new one’ and the lady's defense was ‘you know the weather we're in, it can make soup spoil overnight’.

Both had compelling stance and I was in the middle, unfortunately, they couldn't resolve things and a fight broke out and I received punches from both parties, lol! What happened, the woman had been nagging the man for sometime and he used that channel to vent, and the woman had been nursing a grudge too against the man's behaviours and they used that outlet to fight.

We can only understand things differently because it's not us being in the midst of all the actions. But being in the heat, we are likely to behave in another way.

What kind of friend are u?
I will advice from far.

See,I am not saying we don't have nagging or super nagging women, they are everywhere.
My point is that it goes both ways.

Look at the example u gave.

All have bottled up emotions and vented put over pot of soup. The two were guilty
Let's not make it a woman thing only.

cassyrooy:
Lol! It's not funny, I lost my rep cus of it o.

And that single bone thing, I've got it but I've been trying anger control and management for years now, that's why I walk away from things easily. Instead I lose my temper and create damaging scenes, walking is better. But I can still be a very bad person if I set to deal with anyone, I'm no saint, I just like my methods.

U are doing well and do continue please. Don't try being a bad person cos its only good in the pages romance novels.

sassysure:

What kind of friend are u?
I will advice from far.

See,I am not saying we don't have nagging or super nagging women, they are everywhere.
My point is that it goes both ways.

Look at the example u gave.

All have bottled up emotions and vented put over pot of soup. The two were guilty
Let's not make it a woman thing only.

I don't think I understand your first question.

And the abuse thing going both, I used that my story about my friend to demonstrate how two people can claim victims from one issue. That's where the ‘I'm the man of the house’ pride sets in and the woman too is on ‘that's how he always do’.

The man being abusive have been established, but the woman being the abusive person have not really been driven home as much as the man's own. We've both agreed that it goes both ways, so let's focus on advocating ways where women would just cut the man some yards, back off and woman up.

The women should learn emotional intelligence too, which line can go off as abuse against the person they love.

sassysure:

U are doing well and do continue please. Don't try being a bad person cos its only good in the pages romance novels.

I'm doing good because I love myself and my freedom, but trust me, some days, I would like for the Satan to look at me and say ‘damn bro, you're the devil’.

I know I wouldn't regret it because I've met some ladies that if I can crush them, and none of them would haunt me (whether physically, psychologically or spiritually) forever.

sassysure:

And u haven't seen a woman that will knock you out with one blow?

I saw a video of one woman giving it to her husband who wanted to flex his muscle on her.
It was fun to watch

I tell you. There's nothing more fun to watch than domestic abuse where one spouse is giving it to the other. I love those vids too. My fav was the one where the man battered his wife until she was bleeding from her nose and both ears before kicking her out of his home. You should see how she had to crawl out. That was fun to watch too. Would you like me to share the link with you?

But one can’t acknowledge that men suffer too because that would be emasculating right? .

I guess it depends on who’s saying it. Same message gets a different response when you don’t like who’s telling it to you.

In summary, When they are ready to get rid of the bias that clouds their judgement, they can start healing from the wounds inflicted on them by unbridled patriarchy. One of which is to man up and pretend like emotions make them less human. How can you emotionally abuse someone devoid of emotions and only operates in “logic”? #sarcasm.

Rinse and repeat thread

cassyrooy:
Your pot of wisdom is very deep and full.

Gender issues bear the women and children as the major victims because they're considered the vulnerable group, but these women can do equally wickedness in terms of abusing other members of the society; men, women and children. Them just wicked if them wan wicked.

Women and children are the major victims statistically, hence why they were even put in vulnerable groups in the first place.
Secondly, you said somewhere else you want obedience and your instructions followed. If that doesn't happen, you will complain about it. That usually ends up in nagging. Same thing with many women, they will complain about their grievances if their instructions are not followed by the husbands. That is seen as nagging by many.

Well, couples should stop abusing one another in any form. What's so wrong in being civil and loving? I guess the important thing is to ensure you are marrying a humane person first, before anything else.

May God grant us peace.

crackhaus:

Always.

I cannot abide a woman who constantly abuses and riles me up.
I will excuse it in a stranger and walk away because I don't owe them my emotions, but with my own partner, she will be given a reboot - just one slap... no more, no less.

My apology will come afterwards.

physical abuse doesn't quell emotional abuse.it aggravates it.i seriously wonder why you men think pouring fuel into fire will stop the fire

eyinjuege:


Women and children are the major victims statistically, hence why they were even put in vulnerable groups in the first place.
Secondly, you said somewhere else you want obedience and your instructions followed. If that doesn't happen, you will complain about it. That usually ends up in nagging. Same thing with many women, they will complain about their grievances if their instructions are not followed by the husbands. That is seen as nagging by many.

Very correct, but I think you should note that the conversations here is to bring to the foreground that men too experience abuse and should be in the statistics too, everyone is vulnerable and susceptible to abuse.

I rest my case.

dangotesmummy:
physical abuse doesn't quell emotional abuse.it aggravates it.i seriously wonder why you men think pouring fuel into fire will stop the fire

First of all, a single slap is NOT physical abuse.

Secondly, the idea is NOT to quell anything but simply to shut her up in that moment.

If she does it the next day, there will be another slap.
The day after that, one more slap.
Just one slap for every time the mouth opens to rain abuses, until someone learns tact.

I am not joking.

sassysure:

They are strong in bedmatics.
True.
Anything you want, even wresting, they are ready

Physical strength is not what women need for bedmatics, it's stamina. Two different things.

How many of una get any physical strength sef, yet still ever ready to collect priik for one hour straight.

crackhaus:

First of all, a single slap is NOT physical abuse.

Secondly, the idea is NOT to quell anything but simply to shut her up in that moment.

If she does it the next day, there will be another slap.
The day after that, one more slap.
Just one slap for every time the mouth opens to rain abuses, until someone learns tact.

I am not joking.

lol and you think repeated slaps Will make her shut up?

I'll tell you what it will cause
1.resentment that leads to bitterness, bitterness leading to hidden rage, hidden rage
Leading to devising means to kill you

It's very dangerous living under the same roof with an angry woman that has been suppressed.more like you're sleeping and dinning with your enemy

dangotesmummy:
lol and you think repeated slaps Will make her shut up?

I'll tell you what it will cause
1.resentment that leads to bitterness, bitterness leading to hidden rage, hidden rage
Leading to devising means to kill you

It's very dangerous living under the same roof with an angry woman that has been suppressed.more like you're sleeping and dinning with your enemy

Like I said, repeated single slaps for repeated bouts of verbal abuse.

Only illiterate street girls brought up with no atom of decency will continue with the verbal abuse after the first incident - and thank God we don't do these types of women.

RisenPhoenix:


I tell you. There's nothing more fun to watch than domestic abuse where one spouse is giving it to the other. I love those vids too. My fav was the one where the man battered his wife until she was bleeding from her nose and both ears before kicking her out of his home. You should see how she had to crawl out. That was fun to watch too. Would you like me to share the link with you?

By all means do.
U don't actually have to tell me before u do that anyway

sassysure:

By all means do.
U don't actually have to tell me before u do that anyway

Sick. I give up.

crackhaus:

Physical strength is not what women need for bedmatics, it's stamina. Two different things.

How many of una get any physical strength sef, yet still ever ready to collect priik for one hour straight.

I get strength


Let me tell u story.

My cousin( now the eldest in our family) has a wife but they have stopped giving birth.
Wifey was on contraceptive but it failed her once and the pregnancy almost took her life so she isn't forthcoming with bedroom activities.
The husband is that type that can't stay without every other day( at his age), so there was rumour that he was going out with one single mother. That woman is the type they said has single bone. She delivery fast, walks very fast and has tomboish look. Should be around late 40 or more.
That my cousin do a particular kind of work for a living so this lady will come in the guise of telling him to come and work for her but the adults know better.

The wife has opened up to my mum that she dont really care as long as the man let her be.

So one day, the wife was in her room( their room) when the husband rushed in and was looking for a hide out.
Their bed is on the high side so he crawled under. Wifey didn't just understand what was happening and wanted to ask him what he was running away from but my cousin told her to pretend he isn't there. That was when she heard that lady calling the man, she even has the effontery to stylishly search around the house. Satisfied he wasn't there, she left. Man came put and started confessing.
The woman is 10 times his strength and never ever gets tired. The man said at that speed, he will die in less than a yr
So as she talks and walks fast, so also is her bedroom activity.

U never jam women way kolo, u will run.

A very pretty babe in engineering then in my school can rock you for hours as long as she puffs her cigarette. She is all woman with feminine curves and softness.

I think it's has to do with hormones. Just like men.