Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

talk to a lawyer, your sisters husband should adopt the girl legally. This should have been done years ago

MrStan11:
Tell your sisters husband to start abduction process on the girl.

Legally the efulefu has no say.

Secondly, ask your sister to invite him to the family house, then make sure you use matchet to pursue him and his people.

Thirdly, the girl will know only what you and your sister tell her as truth. Make sure you spoil her mind over years where that idiot dey.



You can't just get a woman pregnant, run away without support and return after 16 fu. kin yrs to claim paternity.



Since naija no get law, we creat our own law.

I don't know who you think you are trying to help with this advice of yours coz I'm 100% sure it's not the teenage girl in question here. If it was, your advice would have been different. The right thing to do is to tell the girl her story and help her decide what to do with it. Trust me she's going to find out some day wether they tell her or not. Her biological father has failed her, let her mom and uncle not do the same.

If you have money o fly the girl abroad and never disclose it to the run away father of the girl. My mom did that to my cousin son when d mother died of cancer and the runaway father was trying to come and claim the son.

Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

I am sorry there is nothing you guys can do to stop her biological father from being part of her life.

It's horrible, but that's the way it is.

Your sister and her hubby ought to have legally adopted her over the 16 years. This would have given them custodial rights and decisions that effect her life solely.

Make sure all mediations and discussions are done through lawyers or a family court.

When they tell them to keep their stuff in one place they won't answer now see the repercussions.

calculate every dime spent on the child plus interest. Maybe adjust for inflation and let him pay for his irresponsibility. It may be in the interest of the child to know her dad so reunite them after he must have paid.

Chukapage:
The MAJOR reason having anything serious with a single mother is RISKY.Imagine training a child and all of a sudden a scallywag pops out of no where claiming "Father" and people will still have the guts and audacity to sit down and debate wether he gets the child or not , that's after my hard work OOOO na to kill person.

The people okaying he is allowed access to the child are bloody hypocrites! And any single Mum that would give a thought to allowing the villain access to the child is a very disloyal partner, period! She'll probably have yet an amorous relationship with the villain. Rubbish

He does not deserve to go close to that child. 16 whole years, he is really a beast, scumbag. Please do whatever you can to prevent him from going close to that child.

I don't even know what to type

If he was the one who impregnated your sister then he is the father of your sisters son. However, in many cultures, if you don't have a son, your father could hold on to the boy to have a male child.

Biafrareform:
.

So you mean someone can get a girl he didn't pay preide price on pregnant, reject it, then come around after many years to claim custody of the baby and the court will grant him the custody .

On which basis will such judgement be made?.

What makes you think bride price carry any value aside sentiments, you just compared custom to biology

There are uncountable nigerian fathers that never denied their children but never care about their welfare.

Kenmarine:
In igbo land, since the guy never paid her bride price and rejected taking care of her from the onset. The child belongs to the girl's family.. The boy can't make a claim especially when it's a girl child.. Giving him her daughter is just out of your own benevolence..

Fact!

Medanoski:
I don't know who you think you are trying to help with this advice of yours coz I'm 100% sure it's not the teenage girl in question here. If it was, your advice would have been different. The right thing to do is to tell the girl her story and help her decide what to do with it. Trust me she's going to find out some day wether they tell her or not. Her biological father has failed her, let her mom and uncle not do the same.

After 16 yrs. He will come with ' I'm your father shit'


Your father is the one who takes responsibility of you. Whether related by blood or not.
If not, Abduction won't be existing.

MrStan11:
Tell your sisters husband to start abduction process on the girl.

Legally the efulefu has no say.

Secondly, ask your sister to invite him to the family house, then make sure you use matchet to pursue him and his people.

Thirdly, the girl will know only what you and your sister tell her as truth. Make sure you spoil her mind over years where that idiot dey.



You can't just get a woman pregnant, run away without support and return after 16 fu. kin yrs to claim paternity.



Since naija no get law, we creat our own law.

The 2nd point Mad oooO......!!

nanaman:


Very funny especially the first statement. If you read my statement, I said, the mother agreed the man is the real father and she never denied such according to your statement. If she denies, DNA would be required and since there is no need for such, the man is still thr father.

His irresponsibility does not deny him the girl. However, it would definitely deny him of custody. Think of this, if later in future your sister's pass, the will now categorically states she's not his daughter or some other issue arises that the girl knows the man is not her real dad, don't you think she would hate her mum for keeping such away from her all these years.? Then, it would be more worse and irredeemable because she would be wiser and better to take drastic decisions.

The real father cannot take custody but let the girl know her real father. Let all necessary arrangements be made to take some responsibility. It is not for today but the tomorrow we all don't know. Paternity issue is a serious issue that should be handled with caution and not threat or victimization hence, let the welfare department take charge and you would be glad you did.

You are just making up your own rules as you go.
The guy OP that wrote this is from the East, I guess. In Igbo culture, you cannot claim the child of a woman you did not marry, talkless of the one you denied. The man simply has no rights over the child. A 16 years child is still a minor and cannot Grant him any rights herself.

Kylekent59:
You should be very happy for her that she's gonna reunite with her father. That's the best love you can give to her.

God even forgives us our sins, then we unite with him again and he welcomes us.

Just let them have her, you need not be furious. You have done your good part by being there for her. Seal your goodness with good ending and not the other way round.

You cannot deprive her of her real father!!!
*FACT*

She already has a father. If a girl of 16 years of age had known her step dad as her biological dad for that long without any suspicious, I wonder the kind of value her biological father is bringing into her life now! We have to put sentiment apart, she should simply tell him and his family that girl is not theirs.

@biafrareform you said your niece is cute and pretty right? that man is a Goat!!!! he just wants to abuse that girl for his own pleasure. Also, even if you decide to give her to him, make sure he has a wife 1st. plus, she's 16 abi? 1million times 16 is how much? 16million abi? if he can't pay the 16million you guys spent on the girl, then he has no right being a father!!!!!. as likely, he'll just put her in a life of suffering!!!!. wait, what I'm I even saying sef? Trust me, you're a big heavenly fool!!!! if you guys gave that poor innocent girl to that he-goat

No wonder I hate single motherhood, the same story everywhere. The man will show up from nowhere after many years to claim ownership, the useless woman will forgive because of fish brain. The child will be told he is your blood, your father just accept him. Op there is nothing you can do, the society is messed up. Most of them will even think they are doing her a favor by giving her their family name, just pull yourself together and allow your sister to do whatever she wants. Still continue to be good to the girl but a useless man is a useless man. I don't blame men that don't marry single mom with their kids, the drama is not worth it. When I advised on single mom thread that those women should take the child to their sperm donor house, many people came for my head. Now look at this, so annoying. By January you will see many abandon pregnant girls, the circle continues.

lollybizzu:


Oga, I feel your pain but shit happens.

Meet the man in question, show your displeasure at what he did, if he's sober and repentant, let it slide. Forgive him God sef dey forgive us.

The girl is already fond of you, keep being a good uncle to her. She's of age, don't influence her decisions in anyway, she has the right to meet her dad if she wants to.

In all, you're a man because you should be able to act and take decisions without emotions. Remember anger is an emotion.

So be logical, control all emotions and do the right thing.

Peace and compliments of the season.

my best responds

texazzpete:


Legally, the so-called ‘real father’ has zero case and zero chance of winning a custody battle.

Zero.

Hmm.. Don't let me talk. You think so? You already judged with what you read without listening to both parties of what really transpired. Let's keep it that way. But trust me, if some people handle the case for the guy, you would be surprised. The only issue is that the young girl would bear the consequences hence, my sta tus quo.

meobizy:

If you reread his original post this is what he has in mind.


They can do this, which is the right step. Visually they can tell if the man is capable enough to cater for her.


Being the legal father affords him more right over the OP in the child's welfare.

I did not agree with you, i have seen cases like this and the child involved find it very difficult to stay under the same roof with the biological father,also the wife of the biological father made the house unbearable for the child.That the child ran away
Rejecting the pregnancy is a display of his level of Irresponsibility, probably he is asking for the baby out of necessity .May be his marriage has no child or he needs a female child now,
A serious investigation need to be made to know why he is coming for the child. It may be for same selfish reason that made him deny the pregnancy. Shameless men every where

Biafrareform:
.

Who is even talking of paying up. I don't want him near my baby girl

Op if u are reading this, this is what u do.

Tell ur sister that u want to see the father, let them see u.

Give him a serious warning of his life, to stay clear, if they can reject the child in the womb, they can as well reject her now.

Let him know u can kill him and go to jail for the girl's sake.

See they stood their ground and reject the child, is ur turn to stand ur ground and give them same shame they gave ur family.

Let ur sister know if she give them that child with out ur agreement, she loose u as a brother.

See bro, don't make it easy for any body, make the issue more complex. Make it difficult, if possible visit that guy and cause drama in is home.... Tell his wife to warn his husband to stay clear or she will become a widow.

Brother scatter every where for everyone who want to take her away from u.

See if u just sit down and make it easy for them, then u are a fool, then u and ur family are weak.... That means anyone can just ride ur family and walk away.

That insult they gave ur family, is ur turn to give them back....

Graxie:
No wonder I hate single motherhood, the same story everywhere. The man will show up from nowhere after many years to claim ownership, the useless woman will forgive because of fish brain. The child will be told he is your blood, your father just accept him. Op there is nothing you can do, the society is messed up. Most of them will even think they are doing her a favor by giving her their family name, just pull yourself together and allow your sister to do whatever she wants. Still continue to be good to the girl but a useless man is a useless man. I don't blame men that don't marry single mom with their kids, the drama is not worth it. When I advised on single mom thread that those women should take the child to their sperm donor house, many people came for my head. Now look at this, so annoying. By January you will see many abandon pregnant girls, the circle continues.

Ladies need to be smart that's just it. Drop kids with the guy and when he starts complaining make him sign giving up ownership. A child should be the responsibility of both parents

Slynation:


The 2nd point Mad oooO......!!

You can't treat somebody as nobody.
Just to send a message sometimes madness is allowed.

Kylekent59:
You should be very happy for her that she's gonna reunite with her father. That's the best love you can give to her.


God even forgives us our sins, then we unite with him again and he welcomes us.

Just let them have her, you need not be furious. You have done your good part by being there for her. Seal your goodness with good ending and not the other way round.



You cannot deprive her of her real father!!!


*FACT*

If only thunder really works in Nigeria, you think I won't tell thunder to fire you? What kind of nonsensical advice is this?

daddytime:
Exactly the same thing happened with my younger sister which I shared a bit on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/5284768/she-pregnant-twins-honestly-dont#79985006

The truth is, you have no right to deny the kid a relationship with her biological father no matter what must have transpired.

oga tell the idiot to fu*ck himself in the behind ! .if he try to be smart organize accident for am. God no go vex

It depends on ur custom, tradition and family. Where I come from, he has No right over the child as custom demands because He didn't pay d mother's bride price. The child automatically belongs to the lady's family and bears their name. Secondary, for the fact that him and his family denied the preg in front of ur family, that's the worst of it and they have no right to even talk of the child again. There is always consequences for every action in life. For me, it is a No No... ur family need to give a resounding warning to ur sister because it seems she is this emotional type that panic over little thing.

What would have happened to the child if ur family didn't accept her and take care of her till now? Maybe ur sister would have aborted d child and if such had happened will the useless family be asking for access to the child...

I hate rubbish I swear.... Tell ur Sister to cut every ties with them. They have no business with ur family nor the child....

Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

daddytime:
Exactly the same thing happened with my younger sister which I shared a bit on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/5284768/she-pregnant-twins-honestly-dont#79985006

The truth is, you have no right to deny the kid a relationship with her biological father no matter what must have transpired.

A wicked biological father for that matter. Did you read about the one that abandoned his kid, saying he couldn't marry the mother, then refused to provide for the kid. Series of events happened, the mother ended up stabbing him death. The mother is currently in police custody. The fate of that kid is sealed, only God can protect him now. See what happened just because of the rejection from the father! You are all saying this because because the innocent girl turned out to be a success story. That girl could have been maltreated house girl by now.

daddytime:
Exactly the same thing happened with my younger sister which I shared a bit on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/5284768/she-pregnant-twins-honestly-dont#79985006

The truth is, you have no right to deny the kid a relationship with her biological father no matter what must have transpired.

Thunder! where at thou?

daddytime:
Exactly the same thing happened with my younger sister which I shared a bit on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/5284768/she-pregnant-twins-honestly-dont#79985006

The truth is, you have no right to deny the kid a relationship with her biological father no matter what must have transpired.

I disagree Sir. Who fathered a child isn't the sperm donor. Let's stop supporting irresponsibility. He gave us the child the day he gave up her responsibility. His role stops with him being acknowledged nothing more than that.


A father is the one that mentored the soul and character, or is the content in the child the sperm. Donor's?

MrStan11:

You can't treat somebody as nobody. Just to send a message sometimes madness is allowed.

I swear.... This is not the case to even debate on!!