funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

Really??

Even the unemployed ones here go dy shout go and hustle..

strungup79:


It would have been understandable to me if I was a wicked husband or used to bully her.

. God will turn things around but never treat her bad when things turn around

Peterosky:
An elder has just arrived. Simply leave the house and marriage for her in peace. Exactly what I will do if I were in your shoes even though I really don't like divorce. But I can not come and kill myself because of marriage and woman wahala.

I think that is the best option for him,why staying in an environment where you are treated as a stranger . Leave her to manage her life as she want,thank God you have three children already ,please go and hussle for life and see if things won't get better,she may even be the one behind your misfortune and want to turn you to her houseboy at home . Don't endure nonsense please

funmisticqueen:
marriage is not about control. Money is what gives control. Stop misquoting me from your place of pain.

Also stop this 'poor me' 'boohoo' victim mentality, it is irritating and pathetic. You are the one emasculating yourself, by allowing yourself to be emasculated.

Most likely money was all you had to offer in the marriage and now that you have lost that, you are just like an appendix in your marriage. Existing without function, but capable of causing hell because no one cares about it anymore.

It is not about bringing more money but showing that you are a leader, and being her support. Give her a reason to trust you by showing initiative. Do you think women like to be bread winners? She is picking up your slack.Of course She will be pissed at you subconsciously.

Be proactive, anticipate needs in the marriage that you can provide and meet them without being told or nagged. Convince her that you are still necessary in your marriage. Get your head out of your asshole and be man.


This is the most candid advice you will get from me or on your thread

You are so pathetic. May God not give us your type as a wife. Kharashika

strungup79:


I'm already out of the house and out of town. I'm not lazy. I've put hands in odd jobs, low paying jobs and different types of business. I just need a little favour. I need the touh of God right now.

Locate a better church for prayer. You will thank me later.

funmisticqueen:
telling all you testosterone laden apeshits who only think with their joystick what you want to hear or stroking your China doll egos.

why u so fowl mouthed,God knows how much I hate women like u,puke!..its ur type that tempt men to go extra mile in disciplining women..if u want to insult somebody,why not do it specifically,why dragging the males into it

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

No,money does not change human,it only reveals the real you.the character you see on a rich person is his/her true character. Likewise the poor.in this case this is his real wife character,but is been hidden all along. So sad

strungup79:
I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn. My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home. Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming. My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.
My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible. We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge. She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect. She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her. Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

It seems this is very common with women.
I had a class mate, dad was doing fine and all didn't really fall, then the wife got a job opportunity outside, took the job and children outside... You know the rest.

My advice
- Don't ask her for money for any reason, if you must, let it be your last resort.
- If you have enough to contribute to your childrens growth, maybe school fees, try as much as possible to do it. Even if your wife can afford it in her sleep, but you would stay hungry to do it, just go ahead. ENSURE THAT YOU PLAY AN ACTIVE PART IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR CHILDREN.
- Next thing, she might start meeting men outside. Don't kill yourself over this, because if I were you, I would be living like we are roommates, I won't divorce her, but I would just stop caring about her.
- Although, this might be harsh, just know it is my personal opinion. "I would stop eating her food".
- I would relinquish control totally to her, let her take her decisions, and let me take mine. However, you must know when to stand your ground, especially when it concerns the children.
- Concerning her family, unless you are a week man (not meant as an insult), but no one can come from his family to control mine, no matter how broke I am, I don't care about the problem it would cause, I can be very stubborn.
- Continue hustling, even if it means going away for some time. Hustle as if you were not married.
- Never you care about what she does with her money, it is her's. She might decide to build a house for her father, while you all stay in a rented appointment, ignore her, it is her money.
- Finally, enjoy your life, if you worry too much, you can come down with a serious generic disease, say stroke, heart conditions or B.P. this would compound your situations, because most of those diseases are managed not cured.

Always show a happy face, especially to your children, even to her, be happy, this will even make her happy. Yes her happiness still has a role to play with your peace of mind. Don't wear a grumpy face around your home.

simonlee:
simple trick....

use a strange number to forward a text to your phone that reads "i will give you N20million and an oil company job if you divorce your wife and marry me"...
then see if she wouldn't go back to factory settings!

Don't try this , you can die in the process.

maak400:

Sorry about your predicament sir, I can only imagine what you’re going through. That’s the nature of women who suddenly become richer than their husband, similar cases like yours abound everywhere. God did not create women to be the provider of the house, so anytime circumstances happen to make a woman the provider, they simply become proud and treat the husband like shit. Just keep praying and hoping that your business bounces back. Also, ensure that you still put your foot down as the head of your home no matter what attitude your wife is displaying.

. It is just the Nigerian thing... Ladies still support their man and still very submissive, bottom line good moral has gone to the dog

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

Advice him well. birds of a feather SMH

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

The way u women spew trash at times ehh
I just wish if God can create a divide among gender & let everyone go on its own. You people are very selfish & callous. Just read the nonsense coming out from ur head

D downfall of a man is not the end, live like you never get married, just hustle well and see what NATURE has for you...You shall bounce back bigger, then quote me so I will tell you how to wicked a stubborn woman

simonlee:
simple trick....

use a strange number to forward a text to your phone that reads "i will give you N20million and an oil company job if you divorce your wife and marry me"...
then see if she wouldn't go back to factory settings!

And what if she is not moved by this? And if she is even looking for mistake or over reaction to use against the husband to push him out completely.

Bros just keep praying that God bless you again.. When there is a WILL there's always a WAY.

Be positive everything will be well.

Good point, but if you look through that entire post I merely pointed out that her husband drove her into the hands of another man by his actions. He hit her self esteem and she got attention and validation outside. I never said her not cheating is wrong but merely empathized with her because I saw her perspective when no one else did. If a man did the same thing every one will blame the wife.

I merely told op to prove himself to be a leader and a contributor to his marriage and stop wallowing in self pity, but all men chose to see my comments as insults. Contribution is not only financial. We live in a patriarchy. Men already have so much going for them. To whom much is given, much is expected. But these millennial men are disappointing.

Why should I be fair in an unfair world. I am simply speaking the odds in my favor. If that makes me less objective and a villian or maleficent then so be it.

Michellekabod2:
happy new year! Don't get me wrong ,was not judging you for your stance of not choosing to neutral,that's your choice,I respect that. I personally am an egalitarian, putting humanity first before gender,race ,tribe or belief. I only told martinez39 you are pro-woman because he mentioned you ,I told him not to be so expectant on you to give the sort of counsel he may have expected
You don't have to not get along with ladies,because ladies are amazing people. I said what I sad because I follow you and you make misandrists posts and your judgement most times are influenced by gender. I think you supported a lady that cheated on her husband by sleeping with her gym instructor when just days before the thread you said made a comment of there being no excuse for a cheating man(correct me if I am wrong on this)....or today when you made fun of a sperm donor penis,and many others. I don't see a any difference between you and ubunja.
But its a matter of choice

I don't force people to take an egalitarian stance,its fine to be a pro-man /pro-woman ,I just tell advice seekers to be wary of gender based advice that blind people from truth,it obstructs undiluted counsel.

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

You ugly sha o. I think it's because your eyes are too far apart.
Honest advice: please remove the picture from your profile. You look ugly and razz

strungup79:


Thanks, I really appreciate this.

Shit happens bro.
I feel your pain. Wealth seems to turn women into something else. Your story is not the first. A lot of cases like this abounds
Put your feet down and dont allow any body(her family) run your house for you
Keep pushing forward. Use this pain and bitterness as fuel and motivation.
A change is gonna come( hope you know that song)

strungup79:


I'm always out of town looking for one job or business. I've just been unfortunate that all my efforts have yielded little or no fruit. It's almost as if there's a curse working against me.

never let yourself down, who make money before can still make money, just believe and go hustle

funmisticqueen:
coming from you, that's a compliment.

I tell you what you don't want to hear but need to understand. My words chip away your armor and burrow into your soul

Funmi baby, is this how you talk ? Your comments today are something else .The man is passing through hell and this is what you can spill from your mouth ...Babe,you nor try .You fall my hand

funmisticqueen:
you don't even understand the meaning of the word insight.

But your misogyny and hate for women is strong.


Life will still teach you all very soon

It's OP's wife and her kinds that life would teach, not me..

What do yhu mean by misogyny?? Like we should give her an award huh? Just because she has more dinero than her husband, he's now some piece of sh!t and you are asking him to go hustle and to stop complaining.. And I strongly believe her thighs was all she had to offer when they met..

owowa145:


Trust me, the woman has co-conspired with key person in her family to go spiritual with d man to become d woman in d house. He needs divine intervention. His downturn ain't normal.

OP!!!
This is likely the case. Very likely the case. Open your eyes.

strungup79:
I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

I understand your pain bro,the reality however is that most married women only have respect for their spouse when he is financially okay. This is painful and should not be experienced by any man. There is nothing you can do to change things for now unless your current situation changes for better. I hope this happens fast before the hawks start having illicit affairs with your wife. Yes,some men are experts in that field. They will explore and take advantage of your current situation to lure your wife to their beds. I hope she is morally strong and upright to resist them.

Like I said earlier,most women are just like your wife. You only need to continue with your hustle while praying to God to answer in earnest before the hawks descend on your home.

It is well with you bro,happy new year!

aimuan:
No,money does not change human,it only reveals the real you.the character you see on a rich person is his/her true character. Likewise the poor.in this case this is his real wife character,but is been hidden all along. So sad

True but there are 3 sides to every story

strungup79:
I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

This is why I have serious problems with gals who are broke and humble, 80% of the time that is not their true nature or character. Don’t trust it for 1sec. People’s charater especially ladies changes when given power, position, authority and money. This is why I say don’t marry a lady who can’t be down with u or love u and act same way when ur temporarily broke and out. These a fair weather gals/women and people. Don’t marry such ladies, they are disasters.

Why shud a right thinking lady subjugate or emasculate her loving husband all because of her fortunes turned for good and his went down? These are hidden traits ladies have and unless u test their true character, affinity for money and control u will never know what they are capable of.

There are many women in power positions still respectful to their husbands, just like Funke alakija and Oprah... ur wife is and has always been a rude and difficult person, her lack of opportunity and position only concealed it temporarily. U never treated her wrongly so why all the bad behavior.


This is why smtmes it’s good to marry a lady on ur level or above who has a good character, those ones below u are most times are only pretending to be humble bt they are most arrogant and terrible.

Two words.

See Finish

internationalman:

worked like magic when i once used it on my shakara girlfriend....

and i made sure i used a profile picture more beautiful than my girl's own..

i lay the phone where she could have easy access to it and she did and read the chat i orchestrated thinking i didn't know she saw it as she refused to confront me with it..

i made sure to make it look like the girl was begging me to leave my girl to date her...but since i knew my girl was gonna view it, in the chat i reiterated how much i loved my girl and how i could never leave her for anyone...


my guy you need to see the love this girl was showing me afterwards en.

if you want to be successfull with ladies you have to beat them to their manipulative game

. My nigar

strungup79:


I'm always out of town looking for one job or business. I've just been unfortunate that all my efforts have yielded little or no fruit. It's almost as if there's a curse working against me.

Sir, I don't know you but I can tell you that no curse is working against you.
Life has ups and downs.
My dad was out of Job for 7 good years. My mum shouldered all things. After 7 years pop màn came up again.

You need divine intervention and patience.
Seek the face of God, with good conscience and patience. Nothing in life lasts. You will bounce back.
However, still love your wife as long as your life isn't threatened. It's your duty to love.

Peace! 2020 will do you good.

Hollup Hollup.....
U say??
just gimme her number I'll help you out ...
u will see changes in one week

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

sorry but this is how you will remain unmarried.

strungup79:


You are just like my wife. If marriage is about control, why marry? Why not stay on your own? Making money is not about hustling, if it was i'd be earning over three times what my wife earns. Luck, favour also plays a role. Maybe God just wants to show me who I married.

Follow the series of event in your house as an observer. There is something you have ignored that God wants to show you. Pay attention keenly. Do not act in anger. You may separate from her if you are beginning to lose sanity so that you don't lose control and act impulsively.

Write it down, you will experience a turnaround that will place you far above what you ever imagined possible. God is preparing you for a greater position in life.

Martinez39:
Guys, note this:
PARAGRAPH 1: This is how women see you as a man. They see you as a utility. Once you can't provide, you are like a phone spoilt beyond repair. This is the cold truth. "You are just like an appendix in your marriage."

PARAGRAPH 2: This is just senseless rambling to insinuate that it isn't really the woman's fault. Note, women will always blame someone else for their bad behaviour. She is giving him false hope that he can still do something to save the situation but, in line with the aim of this rambling, she is covering up the fact that the man can't get the love of his wife without money. No money, no love. Also, notice how she implied that the man is supposed to provide and the wife is "covering up his slack". This is women for you. The financial sacrifices you make for the family is okay but the one a woman makes is "covering up the slack of the man". Your money is our money, my money is mine mindset. Despite having equal rights and opportunities as men, they think it odd that they should take on equal responsibility at any time.

PARAGRAPH 3: Further nonsensical rambling to hide the fact that it not about the money. This advice is ironic because to do these things to win back the wife, he needs money. So we all come to the same point — no money, no love.

Notice how she never blamed the wife for turning the kids against the man, an act that was unnecessary and cruel. Notice how she never said that marriage is supposed to a union where both individuals support each other through thick and thin and the wife is supposed to be helpful. It's always the man's fault — he is indulging in self pity and laziness. Guys, if you still think there is a NAWALT out there, you will suffer. Truth.

dude just ignore her,not all women are like her ..have got lots of female friends and I know what I'm saying ,just leave that bitter woman..don't generalize her perceptions to all women OK