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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed (861 Views)
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My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by MrKendry: 12:23pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
Hello guys, this is quite a lengthy story, but I'm just gonna summarize it as I possibly could. So there's this girl I've been with for a couple of months now, she's a Muslim and I'm a Christian. She just turned 20 some 2 months back. The things is, she told me her parents are actually forcing her to get married to a man that's 42 years old. She's a really quite person who doesn't talk much, and I think her parents were banking on that, thinking she'd agree to marry the man without putting up a fight. But it's been the opposite. She's put up a good fight but she's gradually giving up because the pressure from her parents is just immense. The mom works at a federal polytechnic while the dad works in federal government secretariat. And this said guy they're forcing her to get married to works in the same establishment as the father. So it's quite difficult to figure out if the dad is doing this for money. I on the other hand, I'm about to head for service, and I'm not particularly in love with the girl, I mean not yet. Her dreams and goals are one of the many reasons why I became interested in her to begin with. The thing I don't know how to help her, I'm not even certain if I should. But I would love to see her finish her education, chase after her dreams & goals and settle for marriage with a guy that wants her just as much as she wants him(which doesn't necessarily have to be me) when she feels she's ready to settle down. Please guys, I need good advice. Modified: I tried as best as I could to make the story as short as can be, in the process I skipped some information. The said girl is actually a Yoruba, not a northerner, and she's also in her 4th year in the university, she's studying biochemistry. I'm not seeking for advice for myself per se, I actually do not know what to say to her. I don't know if I'm supposed to tell her to just accept her fate and marry the guy, or to support the probable extreme decision she's gonna make. I mean she constantly reminds me that she's not ready for marriage to anyone at all, and that's because she's got her dreams all lined up and stuff, so all signs points that she's not gonna give in that easy. |
Re: My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by donbachi(m): 12:26pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
Sorry...u only occupied till he came. 1 Like |
Re: My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by Sunnick(m): 12:26pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
oga mind u business... 1 Like |
Re: My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by ahnie: 12:31pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
Minding your business z a very beautiful flower that grows in everyone's garden! Oga...No go dey do pass yourself..so sang kizz Daniel! 2 Likes |
Re: My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by psalmsmiles(m): 12:35pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
what will be will be. It`s a thing of surprise that as educated as her parents are, they still indulge in the forceful marriage of their female child. Education doesn`t always equal enlightenment 2 Likes |
Re: My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by Explicit02: 12:37pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
According to you..... You don't have plan for the girl There is even a religion barrier.... Please let her decide on her own!!! and help her achieve her dreams if you can... The parents with the kind of job they both have at hand if they are not exposed enough not to influence their daughter on who to marry by now then let them do what they like... 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by swiz123(m): 12:39pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
If I understand you correctly, you want to be her Jason Statham.... The only problem I see here is you. You are the one clearly confusing that innocent girl. Knowing fully well that you have no plans for her, why not allow her focus on her suitor. She might fall in love with him with you out of the picture. I am sure your parents didn't waste all their money on you only for you to start hunting for a northerners pussy while striving hard to return back to them as a well butchered suya. Be warned! 1 Like |
Re: My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by Nobody: 12:41pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
Since you said she's a muslim, obviously from a Muslim family, the act of forceful marriage is a commonplace especially to the older men at such a young age. Her dreams are on the verge of being dashed. I wouldn't know why this is always the case. It's even worse off up north. Recently I responded to a comment on a similar thread when I said I've travelled length and breadth of the north but couldn't find much female successful entrepreneurs as we have down south, especially among muslim dominated states. Does it mean allowing them to chase their dreams would make them promiscuous or become domineering at home? I don't think so. Naturally, an ill-mannered woman , even if thrown amongst the saints, would definitely unleash her character. My wife is a successful entrepreneur. She's a graduate and I still married her as a virgin. She's still as respectful as ever. I think it's a religious thing. I advise you back off. Let the parents do whatever they wish. I doubt if that 42-year old man is without a wife under his roof. Don't forget as a Muslim, he can marry more than one wife |
Re: My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by Airforce1(m): 12:42pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
ahnie:
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Re: My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by ahnie: 1:44pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
[quote author=Airforce1 post=85492351][/quote] Hi Airforce1. Where have you been? Welcome back! |
Re: My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by Lamanii22(f): 1:47pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
Some parents though... Jejely back off... Because it's gonna be a war for you and you're a Christian again... And BTW are you yourself ready to settle down? |
Re: My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by Livescores: 1:51pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
ahnie:Op is talking about his GF, abi your brain is paining you ni ma? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by Airforce1(m): 8:26pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
ahnie: I've been reading comments and call outs from the sideline Happy New Year |
Re: My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by Nobody: 8:34pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
fairfora: ![]() |
Re: My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by NobleAngell(f): 8:51pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
Research has revealed that those who mind their business live very long. Do you wish to live long? |
Re: My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by Jodha(f): 8:51pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
Can two work together unless they agree?... Why will yhu date a Muslim in the first place when yhure a Christian..?.. Oga there's obviously nothing yhu can do for her...just move on with yhur life... Let her make her decision.. |
Re: My Girlfriend Is Being Forced By Her Parents To Get Married; Advice Needed by Dikegodspower(m): 9:42pm On Jan 04, 2020 |
bros abeg dey your lane o.. leave Muslims alone,,,, you are aware that we have beautiful,successful, and inspiring christian lady's/women that can even help you achieve your dreams why ...chill and move on okay? |
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