Apus:



oh! please don't say that again. That's a very terrible thing to say about one's self and i am sorry you feel this way. You are not useless and a relationship won't prove otherwise. I perceive loads of insecurity surrounding you. Work on you bro.

I am saying the truth. I am very useless.

Xzbit91:


Jackson, you're too funny

You once said you'll sell your soul to have a gf. I remember a pretty lady giving you green light but you failed to take her up on the offer.

You couldn't even give up your fear for a chance at happiness.

The problem is not that your life is useless, it's that you've refused to do anything about it.

Work on yourself.

a lady I cant see and won't see. And if she sees me outside she will regret making that statement.

I have tried doing something about it because the results is failure and insults

mrsteel:

Honestly
JacksonMS case is no longer that of introversion but low self esteem. Introverts are quiet & reserved. But it is totally different from low self esteem. JacksonMS ur case is low self esteem which is as a result of things u were told growing up & how u were raised. U think u are useless because that was what u were told growing up. U really need physical coaching & orientation. If u are like this online, I can't imagine how u will be in the real world. U are living a life of fear, which is very bad for a man. How do u even perform at ur work place with such mindset? If a pretty lady should engage u in a conversation physically, I am very sure u will run away or collapse

exactly, and ladies hardly talk to me

Rukkydelta:
Yesterday was world's introvert day
And it was a "parte after parte" for me
Yeah I partied in my thoughts and it was delightful

there is nothing to be Happy for as an introvert

DivineGrace123:


Being shy or timid is not one's innate character.

innate character = personality; according to what I intend to pass on.

But being shy is natural. Some kids are naturally shy while others are very outspoken. It all falls under the influence of genetic permutations.

What the environment does is to either reduce the extent or worsen it, as the case may be.

I believe you still recognize what the term 'environment' constitutes.

What happens is that some parent neglect that aspect of social development in a child focusing on simply reading and writing and this may or may not make make or mar his development into am adult.

Gaggi:
I am an introvert but I'm shocked by the stories I'm reading here. Alot of you actually need some psychological help, you're timid and a social misfit, probably due to abuse during childhood or something.
Introvert isn't timidity, neither is it being afraid of others. It's about enjoying your own time but interacting with others when need be.

Inability to interact with others at all is a psychological problem. One should seek medical help for such a problem. Introverts have friends and partners. I'm married and have couple of friends and loads of acquaintances.

I mostly spend time with myself but I don't also run away from people. I don't think a lot of you guys here are introverts. You are socially awkward. What I may term s social misfit. Please seek help quickly.

I also noticed people talking about being trampled on. I don't talk much, hardly interact deeply with acquaintances, neighbours, colleagues, workers etc but I notice I'm very highly respected. It seems nobody wants to offend me. They talk to me with so much respect, even those older than me that it baffles me. I still don't understand why. This has made me disregard the notion that quiet people are trampled on. The reverse has always been the case for me.

that's what I say always that introversion is a mental illness. But there are no cure or drugs being developed to cure this.

DivineGrace123:


Yeah, most introverts are good listeners because they usually listen before they speak.

yeah, sure

Kintomadit:
You are on point bro. I’m even scared to interact with my siblings. I think that’s way beyond introvert o

me too. Even the whole family. I get sick when my family members wants to take me out.

JacksonMS:
me too. Even the whole family. I get sick when my family members wants to take me out.

Mehn, mine is that I love to go out and interact and make new friends but too shy to try. Even when I did try all results in regrets.

JacksonMS:
exactly, and ladies hardly talk to me

Same here bro. I think it's called social anxiety disorder. Seems we subconsciously give off vibes that probably tells the ladies to keep off.

JacksonMS:
me too. Even the whole family. I get sick when my family members wants to take me out.

You're suffering from some form of social anxiety disorder, not introversion. You need professional help!

JacksonMS:
a lady I cant see and won't see. And if she sees me outside she will regret making that statement.

I have tried doing something about it because the results is failure and insults

I'm curious JacksonMS. How did you come to the conclusion that she'll regret making that statement?

Why can't or won't you see her? Did she fail to respond to your PM?

What steps did you take that brought you failure and insults?

Look, no one is promising that you'll be a pro at this when you set out. Remember that the fool is the precursor to the master. To achieve anything worthwhile, you have to be able to play the fool.

When you set out to do anything new and meaningful for the first time , the chances of failure are going to be overwhelmingly high. You're going to falter, but mastery comes from repetition and a careful attempt at avoiding what didn't work the previous attempt.

A crawling child is not going to be successful on it's first attempt at walking. But if it never tries again, it might not learn to walk. The child will fall several more times before it perfects it's walking steps and with persistence the child learns to even run.

Gaggi:
Apologies if I came across as harsh. I'm also an introvert but some things I'm reading here does not strike me as introversion.
If a person is antisocial or has esteem issues, he or she shouldn't hide under being an introvert.
In the words of ftheophilous, which I perfectly agree with:
Some here are even depressed and saying they are no good. Poor self esteem is not a trait of an introvert. There is a thin line between an introvert and an antisocial person. Let's learn to differentiate both.

Introversion have varying levels, likewise everything in life. You don't build your self esteem in a single day. It is a gradual process which comes with experience, age and exposure. You have a healthy level of confidence doesn't mean you were born with it, it is something u have grown over the years. So everyone have different pace of growing their esteem & confidence. That is the reason for the thread. Even extroverts also go through this process of social building. But truth is it is more easier for the extroverts because nature has made it so. Those things u view as weird are not weird at all, except u are a partial introvert. Any true introvert will easily relate to all issues that has been poured out on this thread.

Kintomadit:
You are on point bro. I’m even scared to interact with my siblings. I think that’s way beyond introvert o

This is not possible
How old are u?
Are u a student, christian or Muslim?

DivineGrace123:


Your siblings? That is serious. That is definitely not a trait of an introvert.

I don't think it is possible
There is no way u won't interact with your siblings, unless there is something he is not telling us.

DivineGrace123:
A person’s environment and culture can also affect one’s personality and how one behaves. In my son’s preschool, they have a daily roster for the person that will be the “leader of the day” for that particular day. For instance, if M is a leader today, F will be the leader tomorrow. The leader of the day usually has different responsibilities which the kids already know. Some of the responsibilities include directing his/her classmates, leading songs, leading his classmates to the playground and so on. Now tell me, how will such a child grow up to be a shy or timid person?

That is a very good school
The bold is a very good way of building one's esteem & confidence. Introverts have only one problem, which is going out. They are so much use to inside that going out has become a problem. But the truth is, if u don't go out, u can't break that shell. As an introvert u must use a certain age & phase of your life to socialize. It is very important. But how do we help jacksonMS?

oyetpel:


Wrong, a child in that class can be grow up to be shy and timid, an event can change the personality of such a child.

I don't think it is possible
That mindset & mentality has been ingrained in them

DivineGrace123:


Being shy or timid is not one's innate character.

U seem to have a good knowledge of temperament. No one is born shy or timid. What you mould yourself to become is what u will become. Those giving flawless public speech all had their flaws during d early days.

JacksonMS:
I am saying the truth. I am very useless.

How old are u?
Are u are christian?
Do u live alone?
Have u ever spoken with a lady?
Do u work?
Please u need to answer these questions. Your case is extreme. How do u cope with people around u?

JacksonMS:
me too. Even the whole family. I get sick when my family members wants to take me out.

Lol

Xzbit91:


A crawling child is not going to be successful on it's first attempt at walking. But if it never tries again, it might not learn to walk. The child will fall several more times before it perfects it's walking steps and with persistence the child learns to even run.

This is it!
The confidence guys will make an attempt, fail woefully & laugh over it. He keeps trying until he becomes a pro. But the timid & shy guys don't want to make any attempt, they fear failure so much. Even when they fail on any attempt, they can cry over it for months. This is jacksonMS case. I just hope he is still a teen though

DivineGrace123:

Advising him online will not likely help.

True

What is the difference between being introverted, reserved or shy.
Shy - Shyness is really just fear of people. Do you get anxious when you’re shy? Most likely. Shyness is just really another word for describing low levels of social anxiety. Most of the people that are shy actually want to say something but they are just too scared.

Is it good to be shy? Personally, I don’t think so. I think it’s better to be reserved, which I’ll get to.
Introverted - You get more energy by spending time with yourself. There can be a lot of introverts depending on what circle you are in. The person that spends like 8 hours a day by himself reading a book; that’s probably an introvert. An introvert is very much comfortable just by himself or herself and needs that time and space. If you are invading their personal space or time, they’ll be taken back. They can like or don’t like social interactions but they definitely value time by themselves.

Just don’t invade their space without permission.

Not a bad thing, just how people are.
Reserved - Reserved people tend to keep to themselves more. Someone who is more reserve has control over what he/she wants to share, so it’s not because of anxiety or lack of capability to share. He/she just chooses not to share.

It’s an active choice where the person might be more private and doesn’t like to talk as much.

Now here are some comparisons -

Can you be shy and introvert? Yeah, they come together sometimes. If someone is shy, he/she is most likely introverted or look like he/she is introverted. Why? Because if you are shy and you are scared of people, you don’t talk. You keep your distance, and it seems like you want to be alone by yourself, which might or might not be true.

However, if you are introverted, it doesn’t mean you have to be shy. There can be confident and proud introverts. All because you like to spend time by yourself it doesn’t mean you are afraid of people.

Some people just like to travel alone by himself/herself or listen to music with a warm cup of coffee alone. That doesn’t mean they’re scared of people.

Can you be introverted and reserved? Of course. I think most people who are introverted are more reserved. Can you have introverts that talk a lot? Yes, they just won’t last that long, because they’ll run out of energy a little faster than the extroverts.

Introverts tend to be more reserved because they think more. They are used to having the time to think more. They are used to keeping information to themselves, so sometimes they don’t share it unless people invite them to, ask them to, or put them on the spot.

Einstein is a good example. A good thinker but not extremely talkative like Ryan Reynolds.

Can you be shy and reserved? Yes, but not exactly. When you are shy, you look like you are reserved. You might have something that you really want to share but you are way too anxious to share it. You might be more inclined to just leave the room than to talk in front of everyone.

It’s a real struggle, but self-esteem can be developed and social skills can be learned. It doesn’t matter if you have been isolated for like 10 years, skills are always learnable. Don’t beat yourself up over it.

When you are reserved, it doesn’t mean you’re shy. It’s very easy to get all of them mixed up. However, if you don’t talk much, sometimes people might think you are silently judging them.

All in all. All three are different things that place distance between you and everyone else. If you are not feeling like part of the group, it’s easy for people to exclude you, judge you, or think you’re judging them, because they don’t know you or what you’re thinking.

Communication is hard enough as it is, putting up more barriers isn’t going to help it. I would recommend starting by learning how to emotionally express yourself. If people can see responsive emotions from you, they will feel more comfortable when talking with you. Conversation includes words, emotions, and body language, so don’t hide behind the internet all day.

Source - Quora

Happy first Sunday folks..

Happy sunday!

mrsteel:

I don't think it is possible
That mindset & mentality has been ingrained in them

I have been lazy to type lately, but yes those kids can change to be shy and timid when they become teens, it will just take one event, or things he/she does.
You should know this, some of those kids thinking ability is still minute so they will just go with the activities being done in school.

Events i am talking about that might change those kids to shy/timid kids and introverts are;
1) Rejection from a proposal to a girl
2) Death of a family member
3) Abuse
4) Family issues or problems
5) Religion sermon/views
6) Type of close friend

etc

Chibuchris:


Happy I have someone like me because sometimes I think I am weird. I can stay 3 hours just thinking of how sweet and fun the kind of life i want, just fantasy. It get to some point I start feeling serious headaches I just force myself to sleep.

You know sometimes I do think I'd make an excellent script writer..

mrsteel:

That is a very good school
The bold is a very good way of building one's esteem & confidence. Introverts have only one problem, which is going out. They are so much use to inside that going out has become a problem. But the truth is, if u don't go out, u can't break that shell. As an introvert u must use a certain age & phase of your life to socialize. It is very important. But how do we help jacksonMS?

I dodged that bolded part throughout my secondary school
either I skip school the day I was suppose to lead or I hide in between blackboards then