I got married to my wife 5 years ago. She is a very nice woman who is not bossy and accepts situations the way they come. She is not the problem. The problem now is that I have become bored of the marriage. Maybe I would not be so bored of the marriage if not for the wife of my brother in law. That is my wife's brother.

I schooled in a university in the Northern part of Nigeria and the said lady was also a student of the same university though my junior. When I started dating my wife, I came to know the lady. Let's say her name is Angela. Angela was all I desired in a wife. Fierce, motivated, beautiful and to make matters most interesting, she was also attracted to me. Ever since we met in my inlaws place, Angela and I have always admired each other. Truth be told, we always steal the opportunity to be together on dates or other functions if the conditions permit. We have only managed to not have intimacy by unexplainable circumstances.

5 years down the road after marriage for me and 3years after Angela's marriage to my brother in law, we have both become bored of our spouses. I have a daughter and a son while Angela has a daughter. Since July 2019, Angela has let me know she is no longer interested in her marriage. I am also terribly bored of my marriage.

We are now seeking ways to amicably end our unfortunate unions to be with each other without causing too much pain to everyone involved in this situation. I am thinking of giving a house to my wife and telling her I want a seperation. Angela has stopped intimacy with her husband for more than a year now.

I need the advice of folks here on how best to do this so everyone involved can move on peacefully without much friction.

Only honest advice needed. No insults please.

..

Ok

ojun50:
Ok

Is that all you can tell me?

shakmati:

Is that all you can tell me?

yr case need elders from d village

First I must say I admire your sincerity and still trying to relate with your story..

The best I can think of now is you guys try as much as possible to move apart... More like your family or hers moving to a different city and making your families work individually..
As it is right now it's not just about two of you.. A lot of folks will be hurt by your decision and doesn't exclude your kids.
Love also involves sacrifice, so I suggest you put on more work into your family and see how it goes.
Wish you the very best

ojun50:

yr case need elders from d village

Jealous of my flourishing love life. I don't blame you. You're most probably lonely. Hater.

aye leee oooo, ibosi ooo...... I 4 say make u divorce your wife go marry "Angela" if that will make u happy but what if after 3-5 years, you now become bored of "Angela", shebi na to look 4 Samantha, then from Samantha u go see tosin, u go dey bored of tosin, u go go marry ngozi, from there u go land 4 halima side...... bro shebi marriage na 4 better 4 worse, spice up your marriage, if your wife ain't doing whatever made you attracted to her when you were dating, let her know so she can change, the other side is not always greener.........

omoplaycool:
First I must say I admire your sincerity and still trying to relate with your story..

The best I can think of now is you guys try as much as possible to move apart... More like your family or hers moving to a different city and making your families work individually..
As it is right now it's not just about two of you.. A lot of folks will be hurt by your decision and doesn't exclude your kids.
Love also involves sacrifice, so I suggest you put on more work into your family and see how it goes.
Wish you the very best

I really appreciate this but the problem is that moving apart is no longer an option at this stage. Moving to a new city together is more like it.

Temmytayor90:
aye leee oooo, ibosi ooo...... I 4 say make u divorce your wife go marry "Angela" if that will make u happy but what if after 3-5 years, you now become bored of "Angela", shebi na to look 4 Samantha, then from Samantha u go see tosin, u go dey bored of tosin, u go go marry ngozi, from there u go land 4 halima side...... bro shebi marriage na 4 better 4 worse, spice up your marriage, if your wife ain't doing whatever made you attracted to her when you were dating, let her know so she can change, the other side is not always greener.........

Nope. You did not take note of the fact that I told you I have known 'Angela' for nearly as long as I have known my wife. I am not a love peddler. I am truly more compatible with Angela. It took me this long to find out.

Tales by moonlight...

shakmati:


Jealous of my flourishing love life. I don't blame you. You're most probably lonely. Hater.

I pity you....

ojun50:

I pity you....

I asked for advice and you attack me. Please leave this thread.

shakmati:


I asked for advice and you attack me. Please leave this thread.

You both are selfish. And will meet an unfortunate end.

shakmati:


Jealous of my flourishing love life. I don't blame you. You're most probably lonely. Hater.

No sir.

I don't think anyone would want to be you; at least not in your shoes currently.



Good luck though

shakmati:


I really appreciate this but the problem is that moving apart is no longer an option at this stage. Moving to a new city together is more like it.

How about you try to look at what you have with a stranger's eyes.. Sometimes we have to look at our spouse this way to appreciate them some more. I think you simply got "too" used to her..

Drop the kids for some time with relatives, take a vacation if you can afford it.. It's a small price to pay to get your romance back on track..
Please, your marriage is more than worth fighting for...

Smartchoiice:

You both are selfish. And will meet an unfortunate end.

Lie! We are certain we would enjoy our decision. I'm only here seeking experience from folks who have been in similar situations.

shakmati:


Lie! We are certain we would enjoy our decision. I'm only here seeking experience from folks who have been in similar situations.

Your kids will be the first to end your undeserving lives....

Please I'll like you to answer these few questions.

1. You said you are married for 5years now. What did you guys do that made the union fun?

2. Do you have any unresolved issues with your spouse?

3. What attracted you to your wife that it seems you have lost interest?

4. Imagine you wake up one morning and your wife tells you she's no longer interested in the marriage, how would you feel?

From all indications, it seems you have made up your mind. But I hope few years from now, you won't feel bored of the person you want now.

shakmati:


Lie! We are certain we would enjoy our decision. I'm only here seeking experience from folks who have been in similar situations.

You're trolling right?

I can assure you that no one in this section has been in similar situation. Your case is indeed different

shakmati:


Nope. You did not take note of the fact that I told you I have known 'Angela' for nearly as long as I have known my wife. I am not a love peddler. I am truly more compatible with Angela. It took me this long to find out.

Bro, I understand you, but what if after leaving your wife for Angela, you realise you being compatible with her was just for friendship and not marriage, I know two best friends who have been friends for 13-15 years but when they married, their marriage lasted not longer than 3 years, do you know why? because marriage and friendship are two different scenarios entirely...... my question to you,how will you feel if your wife told you she wants a divorce because she found someone more compatible to her than you? compatibility can be established between your wife and yourself, just work on it, the reason why am emphasising on you sticking to your wife is because "Angela" CAN also become INCOMPATIBLE to you. any moment......... SPICE UP your relationship with your wife more, and moreover THINK of your children...... All the best bro

omoplaycool:

How about you try to look at what you have with a stranger's eyes.. Sometimes we have to look at our spouse this way to appreciate them some more. I think you simply got "too" used to her..

Drop the kids for some time with relatives, take a vacation if you can afford it.. It's a small price to pay to get your romance back on track..
Please, your marriage is more than worth fighting for...

I appreciate you but we have gone beyond the point of making things work. If you are advising me to take Angela as a second wife, I might consider...as long as you can advise me on how to do that too....because my wife would never ageee.

Temmytayor90:

Bro, I understand you, but what if after leaving your wife for Angela, you realise you being compatible with her was just for friendship and not marriage, I know two best friends who have been friends for 13-15 years but when they married, their marriage lasted not longer than 3 years, do you know why? because marriage and friendship are two different scenarios entirely...... my question to you,how will you feel if your wife told you she wants a divorce because she found someone more compatible to her than you? compatibility can be established between your wife and yourself, just work on it, the reason why am emphasising on you sticking to your wife is because "Angela" CAN also become INCOMPATIBLE to you. any moment......... SPICE UP your relationship with your wife more, and moreover THINK of your children...... All the best bro

Mehn! It's like no one would help me here. We have only 1 life to live and I am no longer enjoying it here. Why do you guys keep insisting I remain?

shakmati:


I appreciate you but we have gone beyond the point of making things work. If you are advising me to take Angela as a second wife, I might consider...as long as you can advise me on how to do that too....because my wife would never ageee.

Its like you are really serious about this ridiculous.

MurderX:


Its like you are really serious about this ridiculous story.

Well, I can't really ascertain if it's true or not.. So I'd just give my sincere advice

MurderX:


Its like you are really serious about this ridiculous story.

If the story does not appeal to you, please allow others with similar experience to comment and provide guidance.

omoplaycool:

Well, I can't really ascertain if it's true or not.. So I'd just give my sincere advice

Thank you sincerely.

Temmytayor90:
aye leee oooo, ibosi ooo...... I 4 say make u divorce your wife go marry "Angela" if that will make u happy but what if after 3-5 years, you now become bored of "Angela", shebi na to look 4 Samantha, then from Samantha u go see tosin, u go dey bored of tosin, u go go marry ngozi, from there u go land 4 halima side...... bro shebi marriage na 4 better 4 worse, spice up your marriage, if your wife ain't doing whatever made you attracted to her when you were dating, let her know so she can change, the other side is not always greener.........

You make perfect sense...

Its like you are really serious about this ridiculous story.

Anyway my advice is that you come out of the closet and openly show your affection for her or declare your love for her openly to your wife and your family so that the full consequence/implications of your passions can come on you at once. 

Your reaction to the feedback from your wife, family and friends will tell you if its what you can handle or not. If you love her so much you will go ahead otherwise you will coward away.

Guys this guy has made his decision.. And his decision is that he wants Angela as his wife... Just help him with ways for him to break the news....

shakmati:


I appreciate you but we have gone beyond the point of making things work. If you are advising me to take Angela as a second wife, I might consider...as long as you can advise me on how to do that too....because my wife would never ageee.

How can she agree? You just want to ruin your family.. Over Angela... So these means you never really loved your wife?