Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by luminouz(m): 6:20am On Jan 09, 2020 |
Charleys: OP does she have a father?
If she has a father then there's no need to see her pastor.
A single Mum was forcing me to see her pastor once and I backed out at the last minute. Because I thought she had been brainwashed by her pastor.
Secondly the father to her child didn't go through all these just to Bleep her so why is she making me pass through all these.
I used to give her money but I stopped. Don't give money jare...now focus on me. Gimme money ![tongue](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/tongue.png) |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by Bestinstinct(m): 6:30am On Jan 09, 2020 |
A church-going lady alone is a turn off to me, not to talk of 'seeing her pastor or nothing'. Abeg that one never ready to settle down. |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by sshyne(m): 6:38am On Jan 09, 2020 |
mrblessed: Brotherly, what a wonderful idea you have about our sisters and the power of possessing the capacity for rational critical thinking. However, your desert analogy is out-and-out wrong. On the contrary, we have a lot of oil deposits buried in some desert, especially in the Middle East.
You might well remember that Niger Republic, one of our dear neighbours that is ravaged by the menace of Sahara desert, recently discovered crude oil and has commenced exploitation. He's just trying to make a point, leave crude oil alone and go back to the topic. Back to the OP. One thing you need to know is A FEMALE CHURCH MEMBER IS 10 TIMES MORE IMPORTANT THAN A MALE MEMBER. DO YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE LADIES ARE EASILY BRAINWASHED AND WITHOUT THOSE LADIES THOSE PASTORS MEALS ARE THREATENED. AND ITS THROUGH THIS LADIES THAT THE PASTORS HAVE CONTROL OVER THE FAMILY. I will advice you to think well before you leap, religion as done more harm than good so you need to be careful with all this religious ladies. Your girlfriend is already telling you that her pastor is more important than her parents. If that's the case, then you are nobody to her. Try and watch her, you will notice she can go on her knees to greet her pastor but she will never do that for her parents. You need to avoid such ladies. If the pastor tells her you are not meant to be together then there's nothing her parents can say to change her mind. All this is to tell you how deep it is. My advice, Never marry a woman that doesn't put you first, never marry an over religious lady (being religious doesn't make anyone a good person) unless you are able to format her brain and open her eyes to all the evil practices going on in the church. And most importantly, it's not a must you marry a church going girl, there are ladies that don't worship pastors. The day you are lucky to meet one that's the day you will find peace. All the best in your decision 4 Likes |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by dazzlingd(m): 6:40am On Jan 09, 2020 |
When u guys are meant to use I'm, u use Am....now when u are supposed to use Am u are using I'm |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by eddyghali(m): 6:44am On Jan 09, 2020 |
How can a young lady control a man like that? Family is the first to visit Oga. Many God fearing churches will ask you are your parents aware? If i am in that situation, i'd leave her...pick a wife that respects God and then Invite her for my wedding. she worships that man of god |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by Nobody: 6:47am On Jan 09, 2020 |
Ladylite:
Dangerous to who? She may be too devoted to her pastor but as a Christian anything that threatens the devotion to God that she knows....has to be stopped.
Would you say she was wrong if she was a Muslim? Well I blame Christians for how shabby they have made Christianity in Nigeria because it sounds like slavery but the tenants of Christianity must never be overridden for any reason not even marriage. rubbish! Shut up bit** 5 Likes |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by richidinho(m): 6:57am On Jan 09, 2020 |
Jewessgratitude:
Hello![](/faces/huh.png) What am I suppose to do? So what if you see me everywhere? If that is what makes me happy then please let me be everywhere as long as its not eating into your own data. Are you the one paying my subscription fee?
Please, what I do with my time and data is none of your biz. and stop following me about.
Stick your nose where it belongs from now on. Ok?
|
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by Kennyprince: 7:03am On Jan 09, 2020 |
Bro if u love this woman, go see her pastor, it's nothing much.
Don't take it personal and u can even ignore whatever the so called pastor would say after cos like u rightly we know how criminal minded most of them are.
It's not about him but your future and family. U don't get too hard in the beginning of a relationship like this.
Good luck |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by chocboi78(m): 7:24am On Jan 09, 2020 |
YngDenzel1: I tell u bruh.. @op that ur fiance head no correct. Someday, that pastor go tell am to leave u and she go japa 2sec LOL....nice name bdw, re u a fan? |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by Keemsleek005(m): 7:40am On Jan 09, 2020 |
There somethings you just do for doing sake cos you want to respect your partner, it's not that you still go back after going to see the pastor, guy go watch and observe then you be able to know if you making the right choice. It just like she refusing to go somewhere with you, how will you feel? I keep telling people the way you handle your relationship will determine the way you handle your marriage. If you can't respect her wishes now how will you respect her wishes when you get married? Always remember we all have different way we do our things and the way we want it done. |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by praz001(m): 7:46am On Jan 09, 2020 |
Kennyprince: Bro if u love this woman, go see her pastor, it's nothing much.
Don't take it personal and u can even ignore whatever the so called pastor would say after cos like u rightly we know how criminal minded most of them are.
It's not about him but your future and family. U don't get too hard in the beginning of a relationship like this.
Good luck Valid point.... But why should she threaten him? Pastors are no God. What happen to her parents? What happen to honour your father and mother ( not your pastor) If she is able to get her way on this, there is more still to come... Love! love! love! Is what we hear daily but this love is very stupid, crazy and foolish. Friendship,Agreement and understanding is what should be paramount..... MarrIage shouldn't be about putting the other person under undue duress..... Strike a balance, compromise a little but not to her threats.... Op, borrowing from a friends word. Never ever start what you can't finish.. Call her pastor to kmow the kind of person he his if you will meet him or not. No be by force ooo Lemme prepare my table for work to start jare!... ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) 1 Like |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by Freddykrueger: 7:46am On Jan 09, 2020 |
[s] Ladylite:
Marriage is NOT a joke. How can you be marrying a religious lady and the first thing you do is try to enforce yourself over her religious convictions... Your marriage may not last. That lady will always see her pastor above you.
Hate pastors all you want but if your marriage will be against the principles of God and the church then prepare for hell.
Even your parents married in the church, so Oga calm down, your authority has not yet been instituted until she is totally married to you, she is not to be your slave. If you want to marry her and you too do not have a pastor that you can take her to then you both are headed for problem o. Because like play like play after marriage you will tell her to leave that church or stop church totally... Oga pls define your religious stand with her else you are about to be unhappy in 2020
Are you even aware that you are meant to be her leader NOT her boss? Meaning you should be more religious or spiritually inclined than her... Stop all the lazy talk that pastors are fake, it's old news but Oga where are the real ones. You can not marry a church girl without her pastor being involved.
Finally, is it not robbery that you use biblical principles in that you claim to be the head or authority in the union yet you are not ready to submit to church standards. Marriage was created by God and only His principles and rules will stand. You can't create your own thing and call it marriage. It will have problems later and your kids will be free thinkers.
Pls humble yourself and follow her to her pastor. You need to find a real pastor too else don't marry.
[/s] 1 Like
|
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by Truckpusher(m): 8:18am On Jan 09, 2020 |
MrCork:
..see yor head like baby mosskito. ..edddiot girl...This is romance section..U sopose to be hear talking about sexx & not advising people like arm rober...all u do is advise advise advise.. ...and then u complain u can't find man on nairaland!! (Goat) ![angry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/angry.png) ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by pryme(m): 8:21am On Jan 09, 2020 |
Ladylite:
Dangerous to who? She may be too devoted to her pastor but as a Christian anything that threatens the devotion to God that she knows....has to be stopped.
Would you say she was wrong if she was a Muslim? Well I blame Christians for how shabby they have made Christianity in Nigeria because it sounds like slavery but the tenants of Christianity must never be overridden for any reason not even marriage. Funny how you ignore the fact that Christianity has already been overridden, pastors making more sex tapes than celebrities, more false prophesies than an outdated oracle, more false doctrines than a drunk Atheist, Do you guys ever for once read the whole Bible or you only read the verses given to you by your pastors to only support their point of view? Am sure 90% of you "devoted" Christians don't understand the story of the good Samaritan. Have faith in God, not man. 1 Like |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by oodua1stson: 8:42am On Jan 09, 2020 |
I know my advise may not be the best. But if someone gives you an option with an “or” you better choose the or.
A lady who is deeply in love with you will not threaten to end the relationship all because you refused to meet her pastor. If truly she 100% loves you, she'd find a way to convince you to see him. Not threaten to end the relationship.
Personally I would take the person serious again |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by oodua1stson: 8:45am On Jan 09, 2020 |
2goodbobo: It does not cost you anything to go see the Pastor. I did same before I got married to my Wife.
You have to learn that in a relationship, compromise is and must be part of your daily dealings with your partner. Some times you just have to let her have her way in as much as you are the Man.
I will advise you follow her to see the Pastor and hear what he has to say.
Br. compromise is good but when a lady threatens a break up then to me it'd be an issue |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by oodua1stson: 8:46am On Jan 09, 2020 |
OTayobami:
Abi o! What sef?! Men be acting like pussies these days! how old are you? |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by saasala(m): 8:53am On Jan 09, 2020 |
mrblessed: Brotherly, what a wonderful idea you have about our sisters and the power of possessing the capacity for rational critical thinking. However, your desert analogy is out-and-out wrong. On the contrary, we have a lot of oil deposits buried in some desert, especially in the Middle East.
You might well remember that Niger Republic, one of our dear neighbours that is ravaged by the menace of Sahara desert, recently discovered crude oil and has commenced exploitation. Forgive my ignorance my dear brother. Your pointing out my mistake has prompted me to make a little findings and thus gotten myself educated the more. I have now modified my comment into something I feel is more relatable. Thanks.
|
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by Richnerd69: 9:11am On Jan 09, 2020 |
[s] zed7: I'm afraid I will tell you to forget her. People who are religious fanatics are not to be dealt with. Be rest assured her pastor will be the one controlling your wife. Her ideas, thoughts etc are going to be dictated by her pastor.
Her pastor comes before you. Telling you to forget it is the height of disrespect. I detest women who are brainwashed by pastors. Let the pastor come and see you at home if he's so interested in her affairs.
My brother you never see wife. Keep searching. [/s] Your argument and point is baseless . There's no information up there that points the lady in discussion to be religious fanatic. Extrapolating from your comment, You are not spiritually inclined , neither are you religious , so why do you misconstrue what you are deficit of, in regards knowledge? Every good church going Christian knows, it's profitable wisdom to seek marriage counsel from your spiritual head, rather still Let Him give his blessings to the couple. Why would a church member get married or pick a spouse without being accountable to the people that oversee you? The OP is not the kind of husband she needs, and if he's forced to go see the pastor, then the union will probably end in a debacle or a huge mess . what you wrote up there reeks of atheistic propensity, rather still, you must be one. |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by Nobody: 9:16am On Jan 09, 2020 |
callthefred: I have to appreciate you for taking time to read this. I'm about to take a big step in my life and I need honest advice and answers.
I'm planning and hoping to really settle down this year so any relationship I have right now is towards marriage, however, I have a girl friend who also seems to be ready to settle down and I have huge respect for her. However, I have always believed that my authority in a relationship or marriage should not be up for debate. I am a very good listener and also very loving and I find it hard to double date although, I have some women I'm keeping on standby because I've seen enough to understand nothing is guaranteed.
So I told my girlfriend I want to meet her family, she insisted I see her Pastor first or forget about it because she is scared if she takes any man home it must surely be the man she wants to marry.
My challenge is I am not a fan of Pastors these days because I know 80% of them are criminals and I can never have my wife respect her Pastor more than me or even discuss my affairs with her Pastor. Many of these clowns take advantage of women so I have always had my reservations and she knows.
Now she wants me to see the Pastor or forget it in her own words. I was furious with that statement because I have no time to check time but I've also come to realise women are so complex and from experience you can loose a good one for a simple mistake so I don't want to judge her by that statement as it could be out of anger, there's no guarantee the next one I'm meeting will be better off.
I told her let me speak to your Pastor over the phone she said NO. I'm not subjecting myself to any man of God to start thinking he's guiding my life or anything. I was raised right in a Christian home and when I need God I seek him myself.
I need help on what I must do in this case and how I can convince her to see reason. I hope this issue won't end our relationship but I won't from onset become a slave to a fellow man in the name of spiritual father...
I won't pretend to know it all so I need advice please. Marriages is no joke. both of you are not serious or ready to love yourselves. You both should move on with your lives ASAP |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by ehmmy11(m): 9:20am On Jan 09, 2020 |
Op you are a real Man thumbs up.... Your mom didn't raise no fool
You have already understood the whole man of god thing.. One day monkey go, go market e nor go come back.. That's how the said wife will be sampled by the so called pastor.. Even father the kids sef
She has already submitted herself to his authority what happened to praying about it herself.. She will always seek his opinion before obeying you.. Trust me you don't wanna be in this situation
Will you now become the pastor's member after marriage?? How will you feel when he uses you for example during service??
Oboy japa no time 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by calculator1(m): 9:32am On Jan 09, 2020 |
callthefred: I have to appreciate you for taking time to read this. I'm about to take a big step in my life and I need honest advice and answers.
I'm planning and hoping to really settle down this year so any relationship I have right now is towards marriage, however, I have a girl friend who also seems to be ready to settle down and I have huge respect for her. However, I have always believed that my authority in a relationship or marriage should not be up for debate. I am a very good listener and also very loving and I find it hard to double date although, I have some women I'm keeping on standby because I've seen enough to understand nothing is guaranteed.
So I told my girlfriend I want to meet her family, she insisted I see her Pastor first or forget about it because she is scared if she takes any man home it must surely be the man she wants to marry.
My challenge is I am not a fan of Pastors these days because I know 80% of them are criminals and I can never have my wife respect her Pastor more than me or even discuss my affairs with her Pastor. Many of these clowns take advantage of women so I have always had my reservations and she knows.
Now she wants me to see the Pastor or forget it in her own words. I was furious with that statement because I have no time to check time but I've also come to realise women are so complex and from experience you can loose a good one for a simple mistake so I don't want to judge her by that statement as it could be out of anger, there's no guarantee the next one I'm meeting will be better off.
I told her let me speak to your Pastor over the phone she said NO. I'm not subjecting myself to any man of God to start thinking he's guiding my life or anything. I was raised right in a Christian home and when I need God I seek him myself.
I need help on what I must do in this case and how I can convince her to see reason. I hope this issue won't end our relationship but I won't from onset become a slave to a fellow man in the name of spiritual father...
I won't pretend to know it all so I need advice please. Marriages is no joke. I think i just spotted a man in a long while, make her see reason with u cos this decision of yours is acute, give her instances of pastors deceit and unnecessary meddling in relationships even if it means formulating one, ur on the right track man, good luck |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by Richnerd69: 9:34am On Jan 09, 2020 |
[s] ehmmy11: Op you are a real Man thumbs up.... Your mom didn't raise no fool
You have already understood the whole man of god thing.. One day monkey go, go market e nor go come back.. That's how the said wife will be sampled by the so called pastor.. Even father the kids sef
She has already submitted herself to his authority what happened to praying about it herself.. She will always seek his opinion before obeying you.. Trust me you don't wanna be in this situation
Will you now become the pastor's member after marriage?? How will you feel when he uses you for example during service??
Oboy japa no time [/s] Another shallow minded lot, without spiritual inclination. You must be one of those people with a debased sense of reasoning, who wakes up abruptly from slumber to make irrational and illogical decisions that will in turn lead to your catastrophic end. Till you learn to be mature to apprehend the essence of accountability to people that oversee you, the purpose for your life will ever be a mirage to you. |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by ehmmy11(m): 9:44am On Jan 09, 2020 |
Richnerd69: [s][/s]
[s]Another shallow minded lot, without spiritual inclination. You must be one of those people with a debased sense of reasoning, who wakes up abruptly from slumber to make irrational and illogical decisions that will in turn lead to your catastrophic end.
Till you learn to be mature to apprehend the essence of accountability to people that oversee you, the purpose for your life will ever be a mirage to you.[/s] Oversee ko overboard ni Oversee kill you there 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by zed7: 9:52am On Jan 09, 2020 |
Richnerd69: [s][/s]
Your argument and point is baseless . There's no information up there that points the lady in discussion to be religious fanatic. Extrapolating from your comment, You are not spiritually inclined , neither are you religious , so why do you misconstrue what you are deficit of, in regards knowledge?
Every good church going Christian knows, it's profitable wisdom to seek marriage counsel from your spiritual head, rather still Let Him give his blessings to the couple. Why would a church member get married or pick a spouse without being accountable to the people that oversee you?
The OP is not the kind of husband she needs, and if he's forced to go see the pastor, then the union will probably end in a debacle or a huge mess . what you wrote up there reeks of atheistic propensity, rather still, you must be one. To hell with your opinions. 'Pastors' have done more harm than good. Any sensible person should keep them where they belong - the pulpit. Bringing them into your private life is a recipe for disaster. You have the power to reach God directly, through His son Jesus. You are probably an aspiring pastor, seeking to manipulate families and go in between the legs of other mens wives. https://www.pulse.ng/news/local/pastor-confesses-to-raping-church-member-attempt-to-do-money-ritual/ltcrjqyhttp://silverbirdtv.com/uncategorized/24929/how-randy-pastor-raped-church-girl-severally/https://www.legit.ng/1267393-married-woman-allegedly-impregnated-by-pastor-begs-husband-accept-it.htmlhttps://punchng.com/31369-2/ 1 Like |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by Clinghton: 10:02am On Jan 09, 2020 |
That one na holy chick |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by Richnerd69: 10:10am On Jan 09, 2020 |
ehmmy11:
Oversee ko overboard ni
Oversee kill you there It will kill your child before me. Babaric morón |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by Escabado: 10:19am On Jan 09, 2020 |
callthefred: I have to appreciate you for taking time to read this. I'm about to take a big step in my life and I need honest advice and answers.
I'm planning and hoping to really settle down this year so any relationship I have right now is towards marriage, however, I have a girl friend who also seems to be ready to settle down and I have huge respect for her. However, I have always believed that my authority in a relationship or marriage should not be up for debate. I am a very good listener and also very loving and I find it hard to double date although, I have some women I'm keeping on standby because I've seen enough to understand nothing is guaranteed.
So I told my girlfriend I want to meet her family, she insisted I see her Pastor first or forget about it because she is scared if she takes any man home it must surely be the man she wants to marry.
My challenge is I am not a fan of Pastors these days because I know 80% of them are criminals and I can never have my wife respect her Pastor more than me or even discuss my affairs with her Pastor. Many of these clowns take advantage of women so I have always had my reservations and she knows.
joke. My brother you are Real man . You behave exactly like me . Never allow any woman or any so called pastor to control or compromise you. Stand by your word. If she didn't accept it that way let her go her way. Orderwise she will end up controlling you in the marriage 3 Likes |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by shege45: 10:22am On Jan 09, 2020 |
2goodbobo: It does not cost you anything to go see the Pastor. I did same before I got married to my Wife.
You have to learn that in a relationship, compromise is and must be part of your daily dealings with your partner. Some times you just have to let her have her way in as much as you are the Man.
I will advise you follow her to see the Pastor and hear what he has to say.
Br. What’s with y’all and pastors? if any lady gives me this condition, i’m out 1 Like |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by Starboytwo(m): 10:28am On Jan 09, 2020 |
ambassadorgozie: dis one u don't want to see d pastor, are u sure u don't want to use her for ritual? hahahah Wahrah nie I swear lol, first comment just burst my head.. I love nairalanders 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by Starboytwo(m): 10:35am On Jan 09, 2020 |
chocboi78: imagine my fiancee telling me to 'see her pastor or forget it'.....I will also take her to my baba or she should forget it also op I second this... Op tell her, ok baby, we will go your pastor no p, but as we are heading back from the man of God, me and you self will follow see my Baba of God, so he can check you out too, ok.. What's good for the Gundu is good for the Ganda... But don't let it be the end of the union, just carry your woman and marry, Go the church and just dey nod head to the lamba... 1 Like |
Re: I'm I acting too Harsh?? by chigoizie7(m): 10:45am On Jan 09, 2020 |
I do not know why people do not know the difference between.
“Am” and “I am”(I’m).
It is confusing. |