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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. (2235 Views)
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Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by Zeal0000007(m): 4:57am On Jan 11, 2020 |
I and my gal have been together for 4 years now going to 5, and I have intentions of cementing our friendship this year Atleast with a proposal when I secure my first job and I did marine engineering and have processed my papers to go onboard,my gal has been a blessing to me cos she's understanding, caring and very hardworking, she will be 22 this year while I will be 29 . I met her as a teenager, now adult, I'm still there, I opened her eyes to the world positively. infact the first bank account she ever had was opened by me, I guided her through life till this time, her family has not been really supportive but I keep on trying my best to help and she does the same too for me, she was there right from my 200level till 500 now I'm a graduate. at a point i was like a father, since she has non, I was like an elder brother, husband best friend and lover,. I'm her first experience, pal we've really gone through thin and thick together and I can't wait to give her the best within my capabilities as God gives me strength in this life. But pals my fears wants to finally come to pass. over the past 1 year she has always felt I'm not giving her chance for her to meet and make friends with make folks, and I keep on asking what kind of friends does she wants to make with other guys, is it the one that will drift us apart? but come to think of it, there was no time I stopped her from making friends with make folks, and over the years she has always felt I'm controlling her, since I'm a one woman man and there was no time I dated two women at the same time and I expect that from my woman. Pals since last year August I came from service I have been facing allot of threats from this relationship. and it looks as if,if I give her a single chance she will so much cheat, and I will not believe it. I broke in into something that was almost as serious as what I'm having with her with another guy. that was when I came back from service and the guy in question wasn't in town and they were seriously calling themselves every second to check on each other, I was really going through pains till we resolved that and my gal would have visited that guy as soon as he returned back to town if I did not returned back too that's if she has not gone there before , so to build back trust we had to exchange phone passwords, so I could know who she's was talking with and any constant caller I would want to know the individual vice versa cos as a man that I am and who knows what he wants, I demand absolute faithfulness from my partner and this time no privacy so it has been smooth but I keep seeing threats and for the fact that she has betrayed me before. pals and question I want to ask is this, is it in every gal's/women's circle that they must give in to every tom and dick that wants relationship with them, is it a must that every gal must go through several relationships before settling down, must they always go through heart breaks before making a choice, I have seen even those younger than her having good relationships or is it in the age? and believe me most of these guys just want to sex with her that is all, and I really wanted to do something on her head this year, but the threats keeps coming and she just got admitted, soon be leaving for school though the same town with me, and this has been on my mind, as soon as possible, I might be leaving for offshores, right now I'm even contemplating leaving her cos I feel she might be lost completely now that she will be leaving me for school, and she's this type that longs for material things, and after the last one she did I made up my mind that the might not be another chance again with me if she hurts me again. Pals please your candid advice, cos I keep seeing this tendency in her wanting to explore not minding her serious relationship with me. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by kunleweb: 5:08am On Jan 11, 2020 |
The devil has sowed his seed and is still somewhere in the middle. My dear the moment we start demanding passwords from ourselves trust is gone. You're just trying to manage a sick situation. Give her time to go and explore. It's better she feels she's in charge of her life than feeling controlled. It's the way with women. They easily get mentally distracted. I advice you both deal with this before moving further or go your separate ways BTW there are people who desire a wilderness process of good and bad and evil and ugly before they settle down. It's wired in psychologically and mentally. Some people want to get lost lose their way go through burns otherwise they'll feel unfulfilled and controlled. And as long as this itching is there you're in trouble. You can't mentally cage a person lest you breed a beast. Allow her roam. After she suffers some shark bites, she'll come back to you. With her heart mind and spirit in the right position. If you keep her forcefully. Sorry 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by saheedbadmus(m): 5:26am On Jan 11, 2020 |
I keep telling pep once ur woman gain admission my bro she is gone for good...i dont want to know how much luv u both shared..nvr date a lady wey still dey high institution cos dem go surely break ur heart.. A living exp..3 don happen to me nio 6 Likes |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by DonFreshmoney(m): 5:48am On Jan 11, 2020 |
Temmy1998 would you like to comment on the post? I want to hear your opinion |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by Headlesschicken(m): 6:26am On Jan 11, 2020 |
![]() 4 Likes |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by DNSPro: 7:06am On Jan 11, 2020 |
kunleweb: One of my ex didn't take me serious until she had to go round, get forked badly and then tried to come back to me... Which was too late. Its how they are programmed. 6 Likes |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by DNSPro: 7:07am On Jan 11, 2020 |
OP, please I use baba olorun beg u, paragraph that write up... Haba. 2 Likes |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by funshint(m): 7:17am On Jan 11, 2020 |
The greatest prison you can put yourself is trying to tame others. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by Nobody: 7:23am On Jan 11, 2020 |
Headlesschicken:come back to where? OP let her go abeg. There’s no coming back. |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by Zeal0000007(m): 7:31am On Jan 11, 2020 |
kunleweb:Bro thanks but I can't let her go outside and get messed up then before gradually returning back to me, I can't allow that happen, note I'm her first experience, had it been I met her when when she must have messed up her self then it will be easy to accept her back but here I can't allow her get messed up then I accept her back I won't accept her back she's not the only fish in the river, for goodness sake I'm a her serious date. many girls are out there seeking and wishing if they only had someone faithful to them. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by Realmenlovetruly(m): 7:32am On Jan 11, 2020 |
At Op you made the mistake of not giving her the best chance to meet and mingle with other guys The truth is no matter how a girl has many guyfriends if she is really into you she will always comes back to you No matter what they discuss with her she will tells you and thats where the rule of "allowing a girl to choose you works" Dont force yourself on her, gives her time, leave her to do what she wants #BRB.... 2 Likes |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by Zeal0000007(m): 7:37am On Jan 11, 2020 |
Headlesschicken:thanks but I don't buy into that school of thought, I can't imagine her with someone else then after getting messed up, I now accept her back, she's not the only girl in the world, just that I love her so much and 5years no be play, I have really gotten used to her, but if she ever hurt me again, I will just let her go, 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by kunleweb: 7:46am On Jan 11, 2020 |
DNSPro: It is bro 1 Like |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by kunleweb: 7:47am On Jan 11, 2020 |
I suggest this thread makes FP. To have a wider audience. I'm sure it'll pull much traffic. Help people in the same boat understand better and contribute more opinions on the subject matter Mods Rocktation Lalasticlala Mynd44 Farano Front page is dry. Let's move this thread to front page mods. Thank you 1 Like |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by kunleweb: 7:48am On Jan 11, 2020 |
Zeal0000007: You don't love her from your energy displayed here. You're acting like you own her. And this may be proving her right. Give her breathing space for the sakes of God. You're overtly obsessed You're depriving her own her judgement, decision and the opportunity to make you her choice. You will inherit an unhappy girl if you keep her forcefully hinged to yourself. Set her free, if the love is real, she'll come back to you. This is the golden rule 8 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by Dicktionary: 7:51am On Jan 11, 2020 |
![]() I pity guys who end up dating only one girl, Because even the ladies are not prepared to date only one guy. This is 2020 never love with your HEART but with your BRAIN. This is 2020 FALLING in love is old school and Outdated, FLEEING in love is the New School. Any girl that does Sh!t, dump her Sorry A*s and move to the next, always have a replacement at the corner, because relationships are not Predictable. Ladies of this Generation adore good D!ck so much, that they even have wet dreams about it at night. Smh 2020D!ck 1 Like |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by SeverusSnape(m): 8:18am On Jan 11, 2020 |
If your girl gains admission, That's it bro, She must surely have another guy in that school, 90% of the time, that's the case. 1 Like |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by Cholls(m): 8:48am On Jan 11, 2020 |
Zeal0000007:my brother common don't be foolish! if you think like this then imagine you being her Father. Give her space to own her life...if you love her pray for her...if you genuinely love her wait for her. And as @kunleweb rightly explains the psychology in it: "there are people who desire a wilderness process of good and bad and evil and ugly before they settle down." |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by Nobody: 8:53am On Jan 11, 2020 |
Thank God it is coming from you. Cos if I type now, people will call me names. He should understand that she is a human being, a person and not a piece of clay. He seems controlling, no wonder she feels stifled. kunleweb: 1 Like |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by kunleweb: 9:00am On Jan 11, 2020 |
funmisticqueen: I've never been pro-men or pro-female. I've always been pro-healthy relationships and you know it. Let's leave that aside, are you saying you've considered my offer ![]() 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by Nobody: 9:01am On Jan 11, 2020 |
kunleweb:what offer? |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by Triniti(m): 9:17am On Jan 11, 2020 |
As a man,Never you put you heart and happiness in the hands of a woman. Especially the ones going through the whoring stage of her life, she going to shatter it into pieces. Focus your attention on getting that job, once you do, far more better beautiful and sophisticated women will be at your beck and call. 2 Likes |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by abbatoir(m): 10:14am On Jan 11, 2020 |
Triniti: Bravo! Ur personal text...as simple as it appear....is the essence of EVERYTHING in the world Truly only the Brave... |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by TenthMan(m): 10:18am On Jan 11, 2020 |
Zeal0000007: Every human and all living things have many things in common. One very general and important thing they have is trying to become a FULL FLEDGED LIFE. Every living thing wants to become the best of its kind and individuality. All plants want to grow and flower as best as they can given the available resources and conducive environment. Same thing with all animals. Same with humans. Humans want to get the best of experiences and see how far they can go. In doing this they seek experience in many ways. Some drink and party, some do drugs, some choose church/mosque/religion, some choose extreme sports, some choose being social and enjoying social life, some decided to look inward and be alone, some choose knowledge seeking, etc. In most cases humans combine these things to various degrees. All these in order to experience life. To be a full fledged life. To be the best of themselves/ourselves as they/we can be. Unfortunately, a lot of these activities have the potential to harm physically, emotionally and psychologically. There are three major influences of a human. Basic Instincts, Conditioning by Society and Personal Experiences. These are the things that control our drive to control the basic instinct of going all out to experience all we can. Based on instinct, she is in the stage of life where she will explore the possibilities of her being a woman and a human and the attention that comes with it. Especially being a woman. The possibility of being a human and interacting socially with as many individuals as she can. She may not realize the fact that a lot of people may have no good intentions for her. You said she as just gained admission into a Tertiary Educational Institution. This makes her quite inexperienced and lacking of adequate wisdom to some level. So please kindly note that the desire to explore. The desire to be the best of humans by craving attention, doing things to get noticed, doing as much things as she can to feel good about herself is what is driving her. Now, the level of conditioning by her parents, the society etc. could be an influential force on her behavior. It can either make her be more careful or more carefree or indifferent (indifference doesn't really exist). You are one experience to her. There are other experiences beckoning. She will eat various food, try out various activities, interact with various females, AND SHE DEFINITELY WANTS TO INTERACT WITH VARIOUS MALES AS WELL. Only experientially, she does not see the risk. She does not know the instinct of a man which is to procreate all the time. She hardly understands that this is what drives over 98 % of male interaction with the female. As for You, You do. You see these things. Because you have been more conditioned to see these things and you have experienced more of situations like this. One thing you must note is that she will explore in the way her mind tells her to. The following motivates every specie (1) Pleasure Seeking (2) Pain Avoidance and (3) Energy Conservation. You wont be with her in school. If the level of conditioning is not strong enough to prevent her from interacting with male folks, etc. She will interact. If her experiences does not teach her the dangers of interacting with male folks without being very strong psychologically and emotionally, she will go ahead and do so. Note that the attention you give could vary from the attention the other individual gives to her. She experiences another exciting side of her with him. Especially if he is well experienced in the art of looking for a woman's need and innermost desire and satisfying it/or pretending to satisfy it, then turning endearment/friendship into romantic/sexual feelings. So you value the fact that you can control yourself and you have good plans for her but at her stage in life those aren't the things she is immediately trying to experience. Those are far off. She intends to experience those things you provide when the time comes. You are giving her experiences way beyond her years. And she has not been conditioned to think about the marital/marriage prospects you intend to provide. My responses are objective (knowledge/fact based) and you must know I answer without any form of bias (cultural, religious, tribal, ethnic, class, gender, age, race, nationality, blood, acquaintance, etc.). 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by Triniti(m): 10:22am On Jan 11, 2020 |
abbatoir:Gracias |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by WendellSimilin: 10:42am On Jan 11, 2020 |
Zeal0000007:Bro leave that girl, focus on your live and make money. I'm speaking from experience, it's typical of women to get bored with relationships especially when you have been together for a while and you met her while she was still very young. That girl will mess you up completely if you give her the chance to and from your story, you don't deserve that. Let her make her mistakes but don't let her back in your life, any woman who walks away after you being good to her does not deserve a second chance. I had same scenario with my ex who I dated for 3 years, work on yourself bro and make sure you don't let that small girl stress your life, it's/she's not worth it at all 4 Likes |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by SimeonOTC(m): 10:43am On Jan 11, 2020 |
kunleweb: o.p i will share with u my story if i can still even remember them self.. exactly what you are passing through, same age(her age), same year of dating (5yrs), same first love experience, same graduate like you, same admission wahala (that made her left me), same attitude of you caging her, being over protective and insecure..everything almost alike bt b4 i start, u better listen to this man and screenshot this comment.. cux o.p, whether you like it or not, start getting ready to park, your 5year subscription is about to expire.. dnt look at me like that oga ![]() ![]() you may think its impossible, but you will be shocked when what you build for 4 good years will die an instant death within a blink of an eye.. e no go even shake her ![]() she wont even remember what you both pass through ![]() its painful shaaa.... 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by kunleweb: 10:51am On Jan 11, 2020 |
SimeonOTC: Wetin I no go c for nairaland. Na which one be 5 years subscription again ![]() Anyway as an elder. I healthserve will continue to hit matters on its head. I leave by saying marriage more than often ultimately will determine if an individual will live long or die young but sadly too many men especially jump into relationships without considering this. All for the sake of a. Lousy fling 1 Like |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by abbatoir(m): 1:28pm On Jan 11, 2020 |
TenthMan:You are not far from a free thinker..and I fancy your degree of natural intelligence. Please trace my contact and chat me up on WhatsApp... I have a new year gift for you bro ![]() |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by frozen70(f): 3:38pm On Jan 11, 2020 |
Zeal0000007: You guys have gone a long way and I appreciate all you dropped here about your involvement in your relationship She could be under pressure from her family to get settled of which you are willing but not financially prepared Girls between the ages of 18yrs to 25yrs, are not always serious with relationships because they believe they are at their pick if youthfulness and guys are rolling on them, even the ones that will dismantle their hearts The more you love them the more they feel they will get another one who will offer more not knowing that a bed in hand worth two in the Bush They can be very materialistic thinking that getting money is easy not knowing that guys goes through alot to have the little they have and still provides for them Sit her down and talk senses to her Let her know thst those guys she is looking up to are wolves and they will break her heart Let her know tgat if she can't be with you and needed freedom, you will grant it to her but if by any chance she decides to come back and there is no vacancy, she won't be accepted But you know what, she wants to learn the hard way, if she insist, let her be Sometimes we don't value what we have until we loose it 1 Like |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by kunleweb: 7:59pm On Jan 11, 2020 |
frozen70: I don't get it. How come your writing tone sounds so relaxed/calm. What did you do today. Oya o confess |
Re: Must All Women Go Through Several Relationships Before Choosing A Partner. by frozen70(f): 8:33pm On Jan 11, 2020 |
kunleweb: Lol, like I said, I don't support a woman taking advantage of a gentleman But I will fight any man that maltreats a woman just because he feels she is a lesser being 1 Like |
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