Hello NL,

Before I got married my husband said he needed 2 children while I wanted twins but our second pregnancy was twins so we had 3 instead. Then I took implant so to avoid getting pregnant again but my system became messed up that my monthly flow would last for 2 to 3 weeks.
So after 3 years I decided to remove it so to get back myself only for me to get pregnant instead and I found out when I was already 3 months gone and the pregnancy is causing me to be in so much pain that I can’t move at times making my husband do everything at home cause i’m always in bed
Now I discovered my husband is chatting another lady calling her babe and the rest although he assured me that he accepts this baby but I feel we are getting apart by the day.what do you suggest i do?
I can’t even have proper sex with him because my heart rate increases and I can’t move afterwards. Yes he was the one who took me to the hospital for removal we have been together for 11+years now
Just before I got pregnant I was having a lot of guys wooing me that my husband became very active in his affections towards me and it made me feel like I’m being courted again then this happened
The worst part is that I’m in physical pain. I can’t satisfy his desires. He even made me watch porn movies with him but I’m just too tired to respond to him. I have never been like this but I don’t know what to do
He has no parents as they pass away his senior brother just got married and always asks for marriage tips from us so saying this to him now I just can’t bring myself to do so.
Should I still keep the baby although I can’t bring myself to do anything to my child i just feel all this wouldn’t have come up if I didn’t get pregnant.

Anonymous NL Member

What do u people suggest

You are pregnant and according to you, you are in pains.

If you want to live long and deliver your baby safely, I'll advise you to stop stalking and monitoring your husband's whereabouts, at least for now.

This is, if only you want to be at rest with your current pregnant state.

Hmmm

Ok

Nairalanders are coming to advise.

My own 1 kobo:

Don't kill the innocent child, except your own LIFE is certified threatened by a competent gaenecologist.

2. Your husband has not abandoned you- and that's according to you. All you have said is based on your own insecurities. But hey, that's OK. He may enjoy a couple of flirting outside or find it inspiring that he still appeals to other women, but please don't trade your happiness for mere fears and allegations and ruin the beautiful happiness in your home.

3. Please don't report the young man to anyone. You can talk about your concerns with him and emphasise how you wish you can do more for him barring your current condition. If he watches porn with you, my submission is that he desires you very much. from naughty experience
4. Safe delivery for you in Jesus name. Enjoy life. This is the ONE you have.

Ciao.

Timson01:
Hello NL,

Before I got married my husband said he needed 2 children while I wanted twins but our second pregnancy was twins so we had 3 instead. Then I took implant so to avoid getting pregnant again but my system became messed up that my monthly flow would last for 2 to 3 weeks.
So after 3 years I decided to remove it so to get back myself only for me to get pregnant instead and I found out when I was already 3 months gone and the pregnancy is causing me to be in so much pain that I can’t move at times making my husband do everything at home cause i’m always in bed
Now I discovered my husband is chatting another lady calling her babe and the rest although he assured me that he accepts this baby but I feel we are getting apart by the day.what do you suggest i do?
I can’t even have proper sex with him because my heart rate increases and I can’t move afterwards. Yes he was the one who took me to the hospital for removal we have been together for 11+years now
Just before I got pregnant I was having a lot of guys wooing me that my husband became very active in his affections towards me and it made me feel like I’m being courted again then this happened
The worst part is that I’m in physical pain. I can’t satisfy his desires. He even made me watch porn movies with him but I’m just too tired to respond to him. I have never been like this but I don’t know what to do
He has no parents as they pass away his senior brother just got married and always asks for marriage tips from us so saying this to him now I just can’t bring myself to do so.
Should I still keep the baby although I can’t bring myself to do anything to my child i just feel all this wouldn’t have come up if I didn’t get pregnant.

Anonymous NL Member

1.Your husband is flirting, confront him and tell him to stop it if he values your 11 year old marriage, sometimes men are silly like that and need to be jolted back into reality to realize what they have in a wife and 3 children.

2. Let your husband know you are having difficulty with sexual activity during pregnancy and try to compromise and adjust with him, this may be the reason he finds reason to be flirting.

3. Children are a blessing, sometimes we feel overwhelmed with the prospect of taking care of another child but it finds a way to work itself out if we stay positive an not over worry about it. The hardest part for children is usually the formative years by 4 to 5 years they are a little more independent and you are back to your normal life.

My dear sister, kindly take good care of yourself and the kids first, your life and the kids are more important than any side chicks. Call any of your relatives to come and help you.

So what if he's flirting with some random lady? Heaven will not fall, will it? Please your health and wellness first. Go to a good hospital and take to every medical advice.
Communicate with him all your challenges so the burden will be less heavy to carry.

When I first got pregnant, I was so weak I couldn't even enter the kitchen or do laundry for about 2/3 months, much more make love. My husband was doing all the laundry and my mum brought food for 2 everyday. My husband was more concerned about me getting well. Let him know your troubles and if he loves you enough, you'll both be fine in no time, it's a passing phase. Pele!

If both of you were satisfied with 3 kids.... why implantation? Didn't they tell you of other options?... nor didn't you check with Google? Any kind foreign stuff in your body must have side effects. Abortion shouldn't be an option..unless you want to gamble with your life. Consider yourself lucky you are in poor condition and your husband is always around..... most would suddenly have to spend long hourssss at work...or have to travel on work related trips. If you look for dirt you will find...... let your husband be. Nothing good for you can come out of stress. Focus on yourself... and having a smooth delivery.

Timson01:
Hello NL,

Before I got married my husband said he needed 2 children while I wanted twins but our second pregnancy was twins so we had 3 instead. Then I took implant so to avoid getting pregnant again but my system became messed up that my monthly flow would last for 2 to 3 weeks.
So after 3 years I decided to remove it so to get back myself only for me to get pregnant instead and I found out when I was already 3 months gone and the pregnancy is causing me to be in so much pain that I can’t move at times making my husband do everything at home cause i’m always in bed
Now I discovered my husband is chatting another lady calling her babe and the rest although he assured me that he accepts this baby but I feel we are getting apart by the day.what do you suggest i do?
I can’t even have proper sex with him because my heart rate increases and I can’t move afterwards. Yes he was the one who took me to the hospital for removal we have been together for 11+years now
Just before I got pregnant I was having a lot of guys wooing me that my husband became very active in his affections towards me and it made me feel like I’m being courted again then this happened
The worst part is that I’m in physical pain. I can’t satisfy his desires. He even made me watch porn movies with him but I’m just too tired to respond to him. I have never been like this but I don’t know what to do
He has no parents as they pass away his senior brother just got married and always asks for marriage tips from us so saying this to him now I just can’t bring myself to do so.
Should I still keep the baby although I can’t bring myself to do anything to my child i just feel all this wouldn’t have come up if I didn’t get pregnant.

Anonymous NL Member

most likely the birth control messing up her moods and hormones

Ma at this point focus on your health and your baby. If sex makes your heart beat fast I wonder what constant worry, nagging and probably fight will give you. Don't jeopardize your life because of a man who's only doing what men do best (flirt) . For now erase all you know,act like you know nothing and play along with the peace still existing in your marriage. When you are better (medically) then you can arrange any WWE match you wish with your husband. Be wise.

morpheus24:


1.Your husband is flirting, confront him and tell him to stop it if he values your 11 year old marriage, sometimes men are silly like that and need to be jolted back into reality to realize what they have in a wife and 3 children.

2. Let your husband know you are having difficulty with sexual activity during pregnancy and try to compromise and adjust with him, this may be the reason he finds reason to be flirting.

3. Children are a blessing, sometimes we feel overwhelmed with the prospect of taking care of another child but it finds a way to work itself out if we stay positive an not over worry about it. The hardest part for children is usually the formative years by 4 to 5 years they are a little more independent and you are back to your normal life.

If only you know what men go through when ever their wives become pregnant and making love to her becomes so scarce because of her pregnancy. It's a great challenge. I never knew the kind of challenge at stake until I got married too.

Women just love stressing themselves over irrelevant issues. See what suspicion is causing your life. You must be a very jealous wife

.

Another stupid thread
spits

Ok

May God help u na.

Let's handle your buying and shipping from USA. check my signature below for more details.

Take it to God in prayer, there's nothing He cannot do

You cant get that advice you seek here

Where is NwaAmaikpe

another day another marriage related problem on nairaland

I can’t stand people who do shít like this, sorry this is happening to you.

Cast your pride aside and seek your brother-in-laws help, he might be able to get through to your husband.
Try not to involve too many people and maybe speak to him yourself as well.

Lastly, please do not try please him by putting your health in jeopardy. Heal first sis.

Y

At this point your hormones, and anxiety won't help especially with the heart palpitations.

Take it easy and have a heart to heart conversation with your hubby

Be respectful, but very open about how his playful chats with that lady Is hurting you don't mince words

Now make suggestions of fun stuff you can do together like board games , PlayStation, etc

It takes two to make a marriage work or crash

Find fun stuff that you all can do as a family , board games is my go to suggestion, if you have photo albums from when your other kids where babies pull that out on a weekend and go through that with the kids and purposely get him involved telling them stories of how they pooped on him as babies and such while this is going on ask the kids if they want to hear how you and their father met , tell the story highlighting points of how he was brave and romantic and made you cry etc

Make sure you make him blush , if this doesn't remind him how important you guys are to him a Brick to the side of the head never fails in resetting the brain

I wish you both resolve this and a safe delivery

Cheers

.

How is this an issue?.. Ladies and irrelevant worries.. Look high blood pressure and stroke is real

Insecurity kee u their

Only YOU can give yourself the solution.

Your health is most important right now !!!!!