Gloriagee:
You guys never cease to amaze me. ever heard that what is good for the goose is good for the gander. It's not just about calling females, lazy n using a different set of standards for the male . Here's a man who could not be bothered to take care of his sick wife of only two years, at the honeymoon stage o. Again , cant take care of his new child. So, who's really lazy?

You lack comprehensive skill,please go back and read again albeit slowly this time before typing trash and bringing about stories that never were

Amanee:

All I hear is excuses, excuses

So if we remove your earning power or job as a man, you'll be useless to your child as the p in psycho? Too bad

And point of correction taking interest in your child's welfare is not having trust issues. Lots of parents towed your path in times past, little wonder we have dysfunctional youths today. The narrative can be changed and it needs to. But men must first take responsibility and man up

Would you prefer your husband to be present more, or work hard in his job to provide for you, a job that probably keeps him out of the house for most of the day or even weeks in some cases?

You really can't have both.

But if for some reason you feel you can have both, list the jobs you know in Nigeria that provide that sort of freedom.

Pele bobo, I don't lack comprehension skills. Ure so quick to toss around lazy word for someone that doesn't take care of niece/ nephew but what about a guy that doesn't care for sick wife and for an infant. N next time, u want to bemoan a lack of comprehensive skills, remember its usually a plural word, comprehensive skills, shogbo.

MMXX:
You lack comprehensive skill,please go back and read again albeit slowly this time before typing trash and bringing about stories that never were

MMXX:
Your assumptions are baffling to the core,excuse upon excuse is what you're just on about..I'm tired of the back n forth I rest my case with you.

I wish your siblings will see this and know what kind of a pathetic creature they have as a sister and see reasons it'll be better they sell their kids rather than entrust their care to you and expect something positive .

Absolutely

Acidosis:


Work is a valid reason. Men do onshore/offshore jobs, men work as sailors. Men work as military men, etc. You don't expect this category of workers to sit in the house changing diapers. Some of us entered boarding school at 9. We were left in the hands of total strangers. Some parents are not overprotective and some don't have trust issues.

I know military men who change diapers and stay up at night to feed the hungry baby so mama can get some sleep

Excuses

Today, children need emotional balance from both parents.
Tomorrow when we say stay away from single mothers or women raised by single mothers, they throw hissy-fits.

I guess we're right after all.
Children really do need balanced parenting to be emotionally and psychologically stable to themselves and their society.

Bro, wake up n smell the coffee. I know women with kids under one who work offshore/ onshore. No be say them tell me, I know them. Makes me wonder again if I stepped into another country.

Acidosis:


Work is a valid reason. Men do onshore/offshore jobs, men work as sailors. Men work as military men, etc. You don't expect this category of workers to sit in the house changing diapers. Some of us entered boarding school at 9. We were left in the hands of total strangers. Some parents are not overprotective and some don't have trust issues.

Gloriagee:
Bro, wake up n smell the coffee. I know women with kids under one who work offshore/ onshore. No be say them tell me, I know them. Makes me wonder again if I stepped into another country.

Yes, and they take their kids offshore with them to change diapers at night.

They definitely don't but they take ownership for the child's welfare. My point is that being offshore is not peculiar to men and is not an excuse not to take care of your kid. He can get a nanny, a younger relative n make his child's welfare a priority. Instead, he's so anxious to ship off the child.

crackkhaus:

Yes, and they take their kids offshore with them to change diapers at night.

What is the difference between this scenario:

Gloriagee:

He can get a nanny, a younger relative n make his child's welfare a priority.

And this scenario:

Instead, he's so anxious to ship off the child to a relative while still making the child's welfare a priority

The difference is that he's not making the child's welfare a priority. His mum fought tooth and nail to get the child n then wants the child to stay with her daughter. From the Op, we can tell the daughter's hubby is not exactly crazy bout the arrangement and who's to blame him. Same irresponsible hubby who was partying while wifey was dying from kidney disease, no less, cant be bothered to bond with his daughter.

crackkhaus:
What is the difference between this scenario:

And this scenario:

crackkhaus:

Would you prefer your husband to be present more, or work hard in his job to provide for you, a job that probably keeps him out of the house for most of the day or even weeks in some cases?

You really can't have both.

But if for some reason you feel you can have both, list the jobs you know in Nigeria that provide that sort of freedom.

What are you saying?

How are single moms doing it?

It's not freedom to spend more time taking care of your own child, some men are doing it why can't you?

crackkhaus:

Yup, that's really my point.

So the real question now should be, is your husband/father like those fathers and men that make you so angry?

If you were to ask women on Nairaland if any of them is married to the type of men who have destroyed Nigeria, do you think anyone here would say yes?


This is my point; the same way you all on NL are surprisingly married to wonderful Nigerian men and have wonderful Nigeria fathers, does not mean there are no bad men outchea.
Alternatively, the same way some males here have certain views that you interpret as destructive to society, does not mean there are no good men outchea like your husband or your father.

Fatherless children and absentee fathers are not even as prevalent in Nigeria as you see in western countries given the importance of child support just to keep the men involved, but I don't see you talking about how it has destroyed those countries. You understand me yet?

If what is getting you so angry about fathers has nothing to do with what you have personally experienced in your life, then I'm afraid your anger is from a place of bias.

Have our men failed us? Yes.
Have our men failed our country? Yes.
Don't swim around it.

So what are we talking about here.
And yes, according to recent UNICEF report, Nigeria is leading in that angle.
No child support here. When the child is old the man will come to claim his child.
Yeah, that's the tradition.

Abeg, leave matter.
U just want to defend the indefensible.

U guys should change. When ur approach to family matter improve, it will be felt in the society.
Those that did sociology of the family will agree with me.

Amanee:

[s]What are you saying?

How are single moms doing it?

It's not freedom to spend more time taking care of your own child, some men are doing it why can't you?[/s]

You have no answer to the question posed to you then.

You could just admit that rather than go off on a tangent.

crackkhaus:
Today, children need emotional balance from both parents.
Tomorrow when we say stay away from single mothers or women raised by single mothers, they throw hissy-fits.

I guess we're right after all.
Children really do need balanced parenting to be emotionally and psychologically stable to themselves and their society.

Why did u abandon her to become a single mother then when she was pregnant and gave birth?
Why run away from your responsibility?
Crackhaus, answer me o
I dey vex walai.

U chuke without protection
If condom dey tear, pour for ground. Simple.

Gloriagee:
The difference is that he's not making the child's welfare a priority. His mum fought tooth and nail to get the child n then wants the child to stay with her daughter. From the Op, we can tell the daughter's hubby is not exactly crazy bout the arrangement and who's to blame him. Same irresponsible hubby who was partying while wifey was dying from kidney disease, no less, cant be bothered to bond with his daughter.

Okay

Gloriagee:
Bro, wake up n smell the coffee. I know women with kids under one who work offshore/ onshore. No be say them tell me, I know them. Makes me wonder again if I stepped into another country.

There is this Nigerian lady I watch her vlog always.
Flo Chinyere. All her life, she tours countries searching for oil in the sea.
She also wrote the all Nigerian recipes.
Her family is intact.
I used a popular person's cos I may say I know a lady and u guys will say I'm lying.
Her work is offshore too but she is also the best mum ever.
Yes, u guys should stop with this offshore bla bla bla.
How many Nigerian men are working offshore?
What about others?
What excuse do they have?

Ur parents made a mistake in balancing u up emotionally and u want to continue in the same shit.
Godamnit!

sassysure:

Have our men failed us? Yes.
Have our men failed our country? Yes.
Don't swim around it.

So what are we talking about here.
And yes, according to recent UNICEF report, Nigeria is leading in that angle.
No child support here. When the child is old the man will come to claim his child.
Yeah, that's the tradition.

Abeg, leave matter.
U just want to defend the indefensible.

U guys should change. When ur approach to family matter improve, it will be felt in the society.
Those that did sociology of the family will agree with me.

You're chatting to crackhaus.
Any time you wish to make such claims, provide the sources.

Anyone who is current and being honest knows the countries where absentee fathers are a cultural endemic, Nigeria is nowhere close.
But I guess when you're trying to make a point, facts don't matter anymore.

I said it here once, the minute a Nigerian wife is sick- she gets shipped to her parents house.

If the wife dies, the children would be shipped to a relative's house to be taken care of by another mother figure. Some element quoted me to call it hate, but I see it happen every other day.

Yet one prick will open mouth and ask what a woman does in a marriage? Lmao. It is easier for a woman to hold her kids together under one roof, than a man to.

The greatest issue widows face is lack of funds. Asides that, they cope way better than widowers- ALONE.

Tell them to learn childcare, they will say you are trying to emasculate them. Very anyhow creatures.

crackkhaus:

You're chatting to crackhaus.
Any time you wish to make such claims, provide the sources.

Anyone who is current and being honest knows the countries where absentee fatherhood is a cultural endemic, Nigeria is nowhere close.
But I guess when you're trying to make a point, facts don't matter anymore.

Check that out first.

U are also chatting with sassy

sassysure:

Why did u abandon her to become a single mother then when she was pregnant and gave birth?
Why run away from your responsibility?
Crackhaus, answer me o
I dey vex walai.

U chuke without protection
If condom dey tear, pour for ground. Simple.

Obviously na vex, because I struggle to understand how your posturing in this comment should push any man to have anything to do with single mothers or women raised by single mothers when you all have admitted they are not emotionally balanced?

sassysure:

Check that out first.

U are also chatting with sassy

I don't need to check it out, I already know.

But you made a claim about UNICEF, provide the source.

I used to check her blog when I got married newly and was busy tryna whip up new recipes. Never knew she works offshore. The strange thing bout the whole offshore talk is that they actually have two weeks to focus on the family when they are off. N like you rightly said, how many Nig men work offshore. This particular dad needs real therapy. He needs to work on himself before remarrying another victim.

sassysure:


There is this Nigerian lady I watch her vlog always.
Flo Chinyere. All her life, she tours countries searching for oil in the sea.
She also wrote the all Nigerian recipes.
Her family is intact.
I used a popular person's cos I may say I know a lady and u guys will say I'm lying.
Her work is offshore too but she is also the best mum ever.
Yes, u guys should stop with this offshore bla bla bla.
How many Nigerian men are working offshore?
What about others?
What excuse do they have?

Ur parents made a mistake in balancing u up emotionally and u want to continue in the same shit.
Godamnit!

Gloriagee:
The difference is that he's not making the child's welfare a priority. His mum fought tooth and nail to get the child n then wants the child to stay with her daughter. From the Op, we can tell the daughter's hubby is not exactly crazy bout the arrangement and who's to blame him. Same irresponsible hubby who was partying while wifey was dying from kidney disease, no less, cant be bothered to bond with his daughter.

This exactly was what riled me up.
Very irresponsible man.
Tomorrow, they will say their children don't love them.

Thank you. You have only been married for two years. Guess she was still goodlooking. At the slightest trace of illness, u just leave her. Then what exactly do u want her kid for. Me, I don't blame her mum

sassysure:

This exactly was what riled me up.
Very irresponsible man.
Tomorrow, they will say their children don't love them.

Sad but very true.

pocohantas:
I said it here once, the minute a Nigerian wife is sick- she gets shipped to her parents house.

If the wife dies, the children would be shipped to a relative's house to be taken care of by another mother figure. Some element quoted me to call it hate, but I see it happen every other day.

Yet one prick will open mouth and ask what a woman does in a marriage? Lmao. It is easier for a woman to hold her kids together under one roof, than a man to.

The greatest issue widows face is lack of funds. Asides that, they fare way better than widowers- ALONE.

Tell them to learn childcare, they will say you are trying to emasculate them. Very anyhow creatures.

Gloriagee:
I used to check her blog when I got married newly and was busy tryna whip up new recipes. Never knew she works offshore. The strange thing bout the whole offshore talk is that they actually have two weeks to focus on the family when they are off. N like you rightly said, how many Nig men work offshore. This particular dad needs real therapy. He needs to work on himself before remarrying another victim.

That lady is a gem. She stays one month in and one month out. She is no longer under a company now and picks her job. Said she has worked enough and planning to retire.
I mean, when I discovered her profession, I bowed.


Don't mind them.
If u are a porthharcourt babe like me, u will know everything about this offshore rubbish.
A good and homely man will always be good irrespective of what he does for a living.

No excuse.

crackkhaus:

I don't need to check it out, I already know.

But you made a claim about UNICEF, provide the source.

I don't know how to do that honestly.
I would have gladly done that.
No joke. I have never qouted here before.

If I can do that with my phone, u can teach me.
At least let me gain something from u today
Not really tech savvy.
Though I have started taking it serious now.

Oma307:

I must admit that men has failed in this regard. the African society taught men that all they need to do is provide for the family and that is all for the man. seriously, the rate at which children are being raised without the father has done a lot of damages and will still do more in the society because most men are not ready to change their orientation. there is a kind of discipline the man will his children that will instill some moral values in them. I went to the village recently, come and see how awkward and disrespectful the children are because the father is not always at home. most father don't know what the family will eat

Thank u!
Some guys can't even cook indomie or garri!
They can't clean their house except their babes come and do it for them. That's when u will hear wife material which is an illusion ladies use to get them
Provide money and that's all.
Are we better off?
Abomination!

Two things really struck me - I hope the child will be treated fairly and I hope the partying hard dad will contribute some money for the child's upkeep.

sassysure:

That lady is a gem. She stays one month in and one month out. She is no longer under a company now and picks her job. Said she has worked enough and planning to retire.
I mean, when I discovered her profession, I bowed.


Don't mind them.
If u are a porthharcourt babe like me, u will know everything about this offshore rubbish.
A good and homely man will always be good irrespective of what he does for a living.

No excuse.

N this is why guys sleep with house maids. You cant do nada for urself so u become dependent on another for everything. I have promised myself that my sons must do house chores. They should be able to survive without a woman so that when its time to choose a wife, the amount of house chores a woman can do does not distort your decision making.

sassysure:

Thank u!
Some guys can't even cook indomie or garri!
They can't clean their house except their babes come and do it for them. That's when u will hear wife material which is an illusion ladies use to get them
Provide money and that's all.
Are we better off?
Abomination!

sassysure:

I don't know how to do that honestly.
I would have gladly done that.
No joke. I have never qouted here before.

If I can do that with my phone, u can teach me.
At least let me gain something from u today
Not really tech savvy.
Though I have started taking it serious now.

Lol, you only have to copy and paste a link to the site where you got your information.

Anyway, never mind.

As far as Africa is concerned, the only country where there is an endemic of absent fathers comparable to western countries, is South Africa.