I Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart

I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.

This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

After the day's toil, a married man needs the wife's cuddle and touches at night. It's essential in every young marriage. Coming back home at night to behold your sexy wife alone with lingerie at your wide bed gives joy and also elongates life's span. Wives should stop depriving their husbands this privilege.
One of the reasons for having children bedrooms is to create provisions for these things.


OP, I understand how you feel. Imagine a 7 month old baby dragging your breast with you.. Breast that you paid for. I know you dont have access to that breast again. Nawao

This is a real question that many singles have not begun to consider or discuss before marriage.

I hope you know that your wife loves you, but the sacrifice you have to make is beyond sleep, it also involves sex... Now that there is a 7month old blessed baby with you, simply DATE your wife.....

By date I mean, treat her well, do things for her and be very nice to her as expected, buy her gifts, pamper her... She will give you sex.. I assure you.

Your wife is going through a major phase and you need to understand it and be there for her.

I hope this is clear

Marriage can be sweet or bitter

Sir, you need to work on your emotional intelligence. You have to learn to take the good with the bad. It's not like she is not willing to have sex with you.

Are you in a competition with your kids for mummy's attention.

Something has got to give with kids in the mix, and that is sacrifice.

It's only been 7 months so I don't think your marriage is falling apart. Besides, I for some reason, have faith in your ability to manage this.

Sex in marriage does sometimes become by appointment as responsibilities grow and as you need to manoeuvre around obstacles.

You should let her know how you feel. Start by telling her she's kicked you out of your bed, and you are concerned she would kick you out of your home without realising she's doing so.

And remember that you are both bringing up those kids of your's. You might have reasons, apart from your getting laid, for your kids sleeping in their own beds!

P.s. Sorry this isn't detailed. Just that now I've said this, followers will follow to this thread and better advise you.

It's not easyoo

Prosper82:
I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed.
We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.
This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

Vortex369:


Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

You took the words out of my big head. Imagine what a grown man posted

You actually consider this to be a problem?

Prosper82:
I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed.
We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.
This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

Patience is what you need
I don't think this is a problem at all
Do you think all that romance and cuddling will keep going on forever without depreciating?

The truth is it depreciates with the age of marriage especially when you start breeding kids.....So get use to it..

Just do as our elders did and marry another wife.

Problem solved.

What I want to know is what kind of parenting YOU are practicing.
Because it seems your wife is the only one making parenting decisions. The easiest way to fix this is for both of you to make parenting decisions together.

Na konji wan kill epa troway so o..

Welcome to the reality of Marriage. Recently, Someone close to me was lamenting of how wasteful her wife is and was the best money manager while they were courting. Las Las, we go dey alright.

We are available to buy for you from eBay/Amazon. Check my signature below for more details.

There is no cause for alarm.

This should not even result to fight.

First of all, in life and in duty, we all sometimes have to make sacrifice and this my man, is the sacrifice you must make as a man, a husband and a father so you can keep your family happy.

She is not even denying you sex as she is down on having sex with you in the other room so what's the fuse my man?

You have to understand that your wife is attached to her kids so you have to compromise and give her and the kids time and everything will be back to normal.

If i were you, i will even use the opportunity to spice up our sex Life by having sex in the kitchen, having sex in the bathroom during bath.

having sex in the sitting room while the kids are asleep.

sometimes you have to be creative when it comes to sex, it's not compulsory you must have sex in your bedroom with your wife.

You can even spice it up, go outside and have sex in the car garage.

it's all part of the marriage adventure and the Sweet memories of marriage.

Based on the order of the Peaky blinders.

Ladylite:
This is a real question that many singles have not begun to consider or discuss before marriage.

I hope you know that your wife loves you, but the sacrifice you have to make is beyond sleep, it also involves sex... Now that there is a 7month old blessed baby with you, simply DATE your wife.....

By date I mean, treat her well, do things for her and be very nice to her as expected, buy her gifts, pamper her... She will give you sex.. I assure you.

Your wife is going through a major phase and you need to understand it and be there for her.

I hope this is clear

You modern girls are intrinsically stupid.

Inukwa ..
He should pamper her, buy gifts, date her etc so that:

"she will GIVE him sex"

Is it not better for him to get a prostitute? Since the wife is now one too.

I would rather use my money to buy a corolla than marry these dolts.

Iranu..

Tufia

Finelinks:


You modern girls are intrinsically stupid.

Inukwa ..
He should pamper her, buy gifts, date her etc so that:

"she will GIVE him sex"

Iranu..

Tufia

very stupid I must join you to say

Finelinks:


You modern girls are intrinsically stupid.

Inukwa ..
He should pamper her, buy gifts, date her etc so that:

"she will GIVE him sex"

Iranu..

Tufia

Your left over brain didn't tell you that child bearing affects the woman's hormones...

Monkey... Your selfishness is note worthy... So you should just have sex even if she is in the mood or not.

Pls sit in a grave

Oh dear.

Prosper82:
I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed.
We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.
This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

mumu you cant think deep

you got two things things to do with your situation

1 you make use of your current situation as kids are used to sleep in main bedroom with mum, just put them in bed the moment they sleep wife comes over to the other room and you have fun. invest in bed monitor system (middle class people dont sleep with their kids, they have their bedrooms)
poor you two adults are being defected out run a 9yrs and 7 months child

2 to reclaim the bedroom reverse the current situation let mum sleep with kids in other room, you move back into the bedroom, once kids are asleep mum come and join you in the main bedroom, very simple

Ladylite:
This is a real question that many singles have not begun to consider or discuss before marriage.

I hope you know that your wife loves you, but the sacrifice you have to make is beyond sleep, it also involves sex... Now that there is a 7month old blessed baby with you, simply DATE your wife.....

By date I mean, treat her well, do things for her and be very nice to her as expected, buy her gifts, pamper her... She will give you sex.. I assure you.

Your wife is going through a major phase and you need to understand it and be there for her.

I hope this is clear

@bold :

This is the husband rewarding what he doesn't like.

Then there will be no incentive for the wife to listen to her husband.

And sex in marriage is not hers to give. If she wanted to have the sole rights over when she dishes sex, she should have stayed single.

Vortex369:


Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

You have no inkling about what marriage is.

By the time the husband grows cold and gets used to surviving the marriage emotionally without her, I hope she marries those kids.

If she not behaving like Alpha & Omega over those kids, she would actually get her husband to be more participatory if it is an issue.

Brooke60:
You need to join her in the parenting.

The reason for leaving the room is flimsy.

When both of you start the parenting together, you will start enjoying your marriage.

Has the OP said he is not parenting with her?

Or it is the 8hrs sleep together that defines parenting?

RisenPhoenix:
Just do as our elders did and marry another wife.

Problem solved.

Hahahahahahaha!

This problem actually doesn't exist in polygamy.

bukatyne:


Hahahahahahaha!

This problem actually doesn't exist in polygamy.

Of course it does not. While one is giving birth and taking care of children, you concentrate on another one. Rinse and repeat ad infinitum.

RisenPhoenix:


Of course it does not. While one is giving birth amd taking care of children, you concentrate on another one. Rinse and repeat ad infinitum.

And of course living the life.

Men are living the life in polygamy: Women would fight to cook for you, fight for your attention, fight to sleep with you, fight to even care for you

Brooke60:
You need to join her in the parenting.

The reason for leaving the room is flimsy.

When both of you start the parenting together, you will start enjoying your marriage.

It’s important to read and understand what you are responding to before your actual response.

Someone complained of two months of “very poor sleep”, but you don’t think it’s sufficient reason enough to seek other sleeping arrangements.

Secondly, he hasn’t said he’s not been parenting. Wtf

How long does this attachment parenting last for?
I don't subscribe to it.
Your kids will be too attached and dependent on the parent. Their personalities are forming now.
Your 8 year old is not too far from secondary school o.

Prosper82:
I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed.
We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.
This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

@Oga Prosper:

I don't know your 8yr old daughter sleeps in your room.

The poster below said it: You leave all parenting decisions to your wife.

elektra:
What I want to know is what kind of parenting YOU are practicing.
Because it seems your wife is the only one making parenting decisions. The easiest way to fix this is for both of you to make parenting decisions together.

You don't like the kids in your matrimonial bed? Tell her and set up the guest room for the 8yr old and the crib for the 7mths old in your room.

If your wife is worried about the safety of the 8yr old (I don.t know why she could be), you both check on her once at night.

Also learn to communicate: You feel your daughter should sleep independently: Tell your wife, she is not a witch.

Your sex life is dwindling? Tell her.

Stop feeling things or wondering how to tell her; create a cool atomsphere for discussion (probably after food) and raise your concerns.

And please do not reward bad behaviour: You do not need to 'date' your wife before she has sex with you or do her other duties.

Please note I am not saying you both shouldn't date/ court yourselves; I am saying do not do it to cajole her to do what she needs to do.

Do it as recreation; all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Goodluck.