Pussywar:

Keep the same energy when a white person calls you a nigga. Misogyny is always minor. Rubbish.

Damn Niggarr....
You don't sound African... You take everything personally!!!

ImaIma1:


Finally!!! Someone who understands. Many women just focus only on the children and neglect the husband.

People here don't see that the OP is a man who loves his wife and wants that bond with her. Most men will look outside and allow madam concentrate on the children.

Not "people", KIDS! Little kids who know nothing about what marriage is truly like. You can always spot them by their overconfidence in their misguided opinions, calling everything they don't understand "stupid", and oh so eager to broadcast their ignorance in the guise of giving "advise". After all, what else do you expect in a faceless online forum, where anybody with a 5-a-dime phone and 5mb of borrowed data can come and form Wisdom Guru?

@OP,
bro, in future just talk to your close friends about your private issues. Or if you must, try to spot the few sensible married folks here and then cc them in your posts so they'll get notifications and reply you directly. Personally, I'll just say stop posting your private (marital) issues here; there are thousands of idle, jobless, and ignorant 13 - 22 year olds here with nothing but teenage angst to share.

eni4real:
What are you talking about. Their kids or her kids??

Let's join hand and scold OP....

He is raising unnecessary alarm... He has a good wife . He should be grateful to God for that!!!

This sex issue is overblown to me!!!

Is it not to relieve the Libido??

Are you married?

If yes, do you love your wife? Are you faithful to her?

bukatyne:


Are you married?

If yes, do you love your wife? Are you faithful to her?

Amen

Biodun1929:


Lol

Abi you want to marry multiple wives?

jenifer007:


Madam you are very wrong with your analysis.... Once you are married even your kids must not be a barrier when it comes to satisfying your man.....A reasonable married woman must know how to balance the equation....

I am not supporting the person you quoted for calling OP stupid, but she has some valid points.

The OP stated that the wife comes to where he sleeps to give him sex, but he doesn't want that. He wants a situation where he can cuddle his wife and fvck turn turn. That is no more possible once children are in the picture. What is wrong with having sex in another room and going to sleep with the kids?

My son is in the habit of joining us in bed once he wakes at night (mostly 1 - 3 am). If he is on our bed when we are on "fire", we use the parlour. After, we go back to our bedroom.

Also, why is the OP not involved in training his older child to sleep on her bed? 8yrs is too much to still be sleeping on mommy's bed when there is another bed for her.

Elbone2:

Don't know if u any clue on how stressful it is to breastfeed and babysit a child.....This woman there is being overworked and bombarded with home chores...Yes,She should be complaining but she's not...Which time she won get to take think of sex and romance when all OP wants is another Stress upon suffer.

Abeg! Listen bro/sis

Even if I am childless, at least I was once a very small child and I distinctly remember that at 9PM, my mum would come in to tell us to close our storybook and turn off our lamp.

"Good night, Midnighter" "Good night Mummy"

Finito! Until morning.

Thats how we ended up with younger siblings and thats how I cant use my own children to mess my marriage up, haba!

I dont know what chores or babysitting youre talking ooo everybody must go to his or her room shekina.

Theres no excuse for an 8 year old girl being in my bed in the middle of the night. None!

Pls I want to really advice u on this as i am currently going through same.. pls dnt hv the idea that ur marriage is going to be destroy cuz of this.. think of this she stay awake atimes at night to breast feed the baby, nd also go tru huz chores during the night, also as a woman once they put to birth their sex urge tend to dwindle.. also the kids needs to be attached to her or u.. mine my daughter is currently sleeeping with me, nd my son sleep in the kids room and the baby which is 2months old sleep with the mum, I barely hav sex though shes not stopin me from getting it, shes like anytime I want i shld come get it, atimes she feel reluctant coming to my room or atimes she will say she will come to my room but end up dosin off with the baby.. so wat I do is anytime i felt the urge instead of goin outside I will hv go get it, then wenevr she has chance too we can do it to the fullest pls dnt let this destroy ur marriage nursing mother goes tru alot.. pls

virago:



I wanted to reply to your post but I think bukatyne has done justice to it

Thank you.

bukatyne:


Tani bro e?

What do I know, thought you were a bro, anyways you still deserve a drink, how about a bottle of champagne in Radisson Blu, Vi?����

Brooke60:
You need to join her in the parenting.

The reason for leaving the room is flimsy.

When both of you start the parenting together, you will start enjoying your marriage.

Best advice.

Prosper82:
I Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart

I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.

This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

DT d problem with sex in Nigeria we too dey Christianized sex Nd it leads to poor sex communicatn in couples.for d op his wife try to compromise sex but his being self centered.is nt easy but if they wan nack bathroom dey there.plus wat she insist to back after d pikin sleep tho DT kind be ruined if d child start crying.

Emaprince:
You are irredeemably foolish!!!

While some reasonable women are making sensible comments, you are here talking about buying gifts like a runs girl.

Castrated reincarnated pig.

Runs girl? Biko they are married in case you phone screen made you blind.

Your brain must be in its menstrual cycle for you to be here bleeting like a dwarfgoat.

We are talking marital things, soapy directors like you are here speaking too?


If you lack what to say, don't think insulting me has helped them. Help the OP or your comment is OP.

Be there claiming to be a strong man yet a smallie will push you and control you in zi oza ruum then you will come here to be raising voice. 40seconds rat

#lastwarning

Prosper82:
I Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart

I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.

This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

Oga you are a little selfish and lack deep understand of your responsibility as a husband and a father. You need to understand that the moment children start coming in, things are definitely not going to be exactly as they used to be. Fortunately your wife understand this but you do not. You personally typed that your wife suggested that you make love in the room where you sleep after she must have done everything including singing to put your children to sleep but you, being the honorable head of the house thinks that is not right. Pls do you know what it takes to be a mother or how some children react the moment there mother is not by their side on bed? You should even be the one to sneak in to call her when you notice she has successfully put them to sleep because some times she will become tired and fall asleep in the process of putting the children to sleep. The woman need your understanding more you know. Pls wake up to your responsibility and stop killing your wife's sex life. Once the children are in marriage, the sex life become a kind of hide and seek game and you have good communication with your wife, the hide and seek becomes another added fun to the love life.

Ladylite:
This is a real question that many singles have not begun to consider or discuss before marriage.

I hope you know that your wife loves you, but the sacrifice you have to make is beyond sleep, it also involves sex... Now that there is a 7month old blessed baby with you, simply DATE your wife.....

By date I mean, treat her well, do things for her and be very nice to her as expected, buy her gifts, pamper her... She will give you sex.. I assure you.

Your wife is going through a major phase and you need to understand it and be there for her.

I hope this is clear

the wife no fit date am? make wehear word@

eni4real:
Damn Niggarr....
You don't sound African... You take everything personally!!!

When you people say "African", it sounds like a synonym for " retarded ". You use it to remain dense and willingly ignorant, that's why you're a joke. self-service to the attention you rarely get. Pathetic thing.

Op forget all these dead body advice telling you to make compromise.. You like the thing wella with enough privacy no shame in that.. How on earth is an eight year old sleeping with her parents abi na ogbanje ..i understand the baby boy he needs maximum attention..


My own advice be a man put your foot down and make a parenting decision that will see your daughter sleeping in her own room hence forth abi the kids will sleep in your bedroom till 18 years (in this case OYO) talk with your wife and sort it out its not a big deal... Before you jam agbako

Adapt. That's part of the sacrifice you have to make. The arrangement you guys have is the perfect solution in the circumstances you are.

Prosper82:
I Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart

I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.

This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

Sex na food

Vortex369:


Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

thank you for pouring out my heart.
just imagine. He just left the woman to be taking care of the kids alone and is accusing her of sex deprival. will she kill herself? mtchewwww

Kiezodumah:


Guy u dey dull jare. She is a nursing mum and still looking out for the first child ,so what ?? Must u have sex in the bedroom or on the bed. U be old skool. U also have issues of ur own. Spice up ur sex life bro.
Make love in the kitchen, kitchen cabinet, on the sofa, in the bathroom, living room,on the dinning table, the bath tub,different styles/ position, make sure its a long and sweet one.
All those points and locations make sex adventurous and not a routine encounter where u always in/ on the bed,same place evrytime. Doing it differently makes each encounter never easy to forget.
Na ur wife go dey find u come almost every night..

Why do they make baby cribs? Why do parents buy them when they are baby-shopping? Just to use it as decoration while the baby still sleeps in the parent's bed.

The interesting thing is that it's not the child's fault but the parents, especially the mother. If the child is trained from day 1 to sleep in his/her own bed, they will be fine and grow to love their space.

And I doubt that it's just about sex. A couple need their private moments in their bed. I can't imagine not being able to hold my husband and sleep.

midnighter:


Hahaha Im in shock.

If people who cant afford more than one room crave for space...If in developed countries, the government will try to give poor families a house with enough room to give the children some privacy...what then do we call this?

Answer: Insanity.

Real insanity.

Let me tell u a true short story.

When i finished my nysc, i got a good paying job somewhere in northern nigeria.
The first apartment i rented was in a compound of 6 flats.
Our landlord’s personal house was directly facing our compound across the street.
His gateman at the time was married to two wives and had a total of 7 children. U won’t believe me when I
tell u that this man, his 2 wives and their children wer living in a 1 room BQ.
Mind u, this was back in 2012, and our landlord was paying him 8k per month...not 80k... 8k!
HeRe is the shocker...
The useless gateman approached my friend, who lived in the flat next to mine to support him with some money
because he was planning to marry a 3rd wife!

I was speechless...
I mean like WTF!!!

He even started keeping malice with my friend for turning down his request Silly man...Some people are absolutely bonkers.

Pussywar:

When you people say "African", it sounds like a simile for " retarded ". You use it to remain dense and willingly ignorant, that's why you're a joke. self-service to the attention you rarely get. Pathetic thing.

African is synonymous with being slow??
According to who ??
That is a criminal statement from you!!!

koyyes:


Did you read the part where he said she doesn't deny him sex? Or are you just hell bent on using the vices of uncultured, indisciplined males to threaten a young marriage?

And there is nothing wrong with him dating her. She is his wife. They can do whatever they want to spice it up and solve his little issue.

I have left adultery out of my epistle to show it should never be an option for a responsible man who wants to enjoy marital bliss.

Yes, I read that part. And did you read the reason behind her not "denying" him sex? What is the current obstacle behind the misplaced "compromise" Why cant they use their room? Their room that was designed for a specific purpose?

I didnt say there was anything wrong with him dating her. I said that dating her in response to her irrational behaviour is ridiculous!

Look, can you just answer this question?

Is it socially, morally or ethically acceptable for an 8 year old who will soon begin to show signs of puberty to sleep in her fathers bed?

I didnt want to go there but I just cant believe what some people are typing in this place, Im flabbergasted.

People are making excuses for iniquity in here and trying to make it a male/female issue or feminism/misogyny issue when it isnt!

famzynet:


Advice like this causes doom in marriage. Sex is an important factor in marriage that helps to bind couples together. The man clearly stated how it hurts him. Having children in marriage should not stop them having sex. Besides,a 7mth old baby should have a cot and not sharing bed with the parents. The matrimonial bed is for the husband and wife. Kids should sleep in their room. If the man goes out for another woman,you will then see the wife reacting. The man has very good reason to be angry . He did not marry his wife for kids to come and separate them. He married to be loved,cuddled and cherished also. Some women can be so selfish after getting married.

The bolded should be written on a marble.

with your mentality I see you developing hatred for your kids on the long run. these kids are fond of their mom, so cuddling and marathon sex that u want is a thing you can talk it out with their mom



while those kids have gone to bed, invite your woman to the room you stay and cuddle her till daybreak. this is just an understanding things, no be say the woman dey hide her pussy from your banging


I guess you're self employed? if you're employed under anyone, isn't it the time to build wealth ahead of the future? work on your emotions

bukatyne:


You have no inkling about what marriage is.

By the time the husband grows cold and gets used to surviving the marriage emotionally without her, I hope she marries those kids.

If she not behaving like Alpha & Omega over those kids, she would actually get her husband to be more participatory if it is an issue.

I think you are the one without knowledge of what marriage is all about. A man ran out of the room because he felt the children are giving him sleepless night, rejected the wife's suggestion that they should make love in the room where he ran to after she must have out the children to sleep but focus only in having the wife by his side and being cuddle and you are supporting such a man. All through his writing, did he mentioned any effort he has made towards helping the wife other than he needs the wife to cuddle him after going through stress to put the children to sleep. Pls between him and the wife, who need to be cuddle at this time of their marriage when the wife is nursing 7months child? As much as I do not throw away the need for sex in marriage, I think OP lack deep knowledge of his responsibility as a husband and a father.

You're a stupid man oo
You should be as much involved in taking care of your kids as is your wife

midnighter:
WHAT is the 8 year old girl doing in your room! Bleep!

That is totally crazy! Let me go back and read the OP again because I seriously dont get it!

Call me a bush woman but which book did she get the "attachment parenting" from? Attatchment ko, Weave-on ni

INSANITY! How can your wife be advocating for growing her first daughter into a weakling

WHEN is she going to go and sleep in her room OMGOSH. Im screaming

SO you havent had your wife to yourself at night for 8 GOOD YEARS! I cant stop screaming

And people are saying he is selfish. How can an 8year old be sleeping in their bed. Some mothers should be sanctioned. Very annoying.

Brooke60:
You need to join her in the parenting.

The reason for leaving the room is flimsy.

When both of you start the parenting together, you will start enjoying your marriage.

Nigeria hospitals do not help couple. In fact, the doctors are very critical of having a baby in same bed as Mother. It could sometimes result in sudden infant death syndrome. Children and babies can sleep on their own if you let them. The bed is for husband and wife.

midnighter:


Yes, I read that part. And did you read the reason behind her not "denying" him sex? What is the current obstacle behind the misplaced "compromise" Why cant they use their room? Their room that was designed for a specific purpose?

I didnt say there was anything wrong with him dating her. I said that dating her in response to her irrational behaviour is ridiculous!

Look, can you just answer this question?

Is it socially, morally or ethically acceptable for an 8 year old who will soon begin to show signs of puberty to sleep in her fathers bed?

I didnt want to go there but I just cant believe what some people are typing in this place, Im flabbergasted.

People are making excuses for iniquity in here and trying to make it a male/female issue or feminism/misogyny issue when it isnt!

Did you read the part where he himself made the decision to start sleeping in the other room? That itself was a very wrong move and it sure made his wife extra comfortable with the idea of sharing their bed with the kids. He isn't even happy that he is there talk more of having sex there as suggested by the wife.

Again, read my 1st comment, however ridiculous his wife's attachment may be to the kids, it shouldn't be what will bring the roof of their house down. They are his children after all. You can refuse to acknowledge the psychological workings that could be causing this behaviour...but it is there and should be tackled with caution.

No need for threats and unnecessary quarrel. If e dey pain am like that then let him for a start teach his 8 year old how to sleep separately.