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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? (1996 Views)
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Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by Coolcalmcollect(m): 8:08pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
Why are most Nigerian men scared or feel unsecure of their successful wives or gfs? I once had a friend who broke up with his gf cos she had a first class while he has a 2.2 saying she will be more successful and thus she won't be submissive. I've heard stories of men forcing their bright future wives to become housewives cos they fear she will soon start earning more than them. Most men feel it isn't until they earn more than their wives they can earn submission from her, they forget like respect, submission is earned via love. When you love your wife and show it to her, she will be submissive on her own. Please leave that woman to reach her full potentials, if not for anything for your kids, so they can have rich mom to boast of. Mrs awoshika, Mrs alakija etc doesn't have two heads.... Allow her grow. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by MrBrownJay1(m): 8:12pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
- Society - Family history - Religion - Background - Failed Past r/ship 9 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by Wantedmiller: 8:16pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
is this a story or your opinion? Remove that "most" joor and be serious with life. |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by Alfather: 8:24pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
If i tel u a story of a barister who got marraid to a barrister, u would change your orientation 1 Like |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by Nobody: 8:26pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
It baffles me. I always subconsciously seek out women I perceive to be smarter than myself for serious relationships. If you are beautiful, can challenge me intellectually, make me smile, and keep it real. I am all yours. ![]() ![]() ![]() 6 Likes |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by RoyalBlu(f): 8:32pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
"When you love your wife and show it to her, she will be submissive on her own". OP you deserve 'high fives' for this statement. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by MJBOLT: 8:37pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
most women become something else the moment they are more successful than their partner. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by Coolcalmcollect(m): 8:51pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
Alfather:I don't need the orientation of an insecure man. what joy will it give most men to knowingly limited the potentials of their wife....to be what the wife pray against in church. smh |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by Coolcalmcollect(m): 8:52pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
MJBOLT:it's a lie.... |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by Farki: 9:03pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
Coolcalmcollect: MrBrownJay1 has already said it but let me add my own. I was thinking about this topic this afternoon and something just came to my head, some women will use their position as the main breadwinner as an axe over the man's head. So a woman can be rude, condescending and belittling justifying it by saying how she earns more. Some will even be insulting their husbands asking why they aren't like Mr X or Mr Y at work who shower their wives with expensive gifts and most men hate hearing those things. In this Nigeria where women who don't have anything are forming shakara what will a woman of high status will now do. 8 Likes |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by Farki: 9:05pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
Coolcalmcollect: Me I've personally seen it and it doesn't end well. |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by Alfather: 9:06pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
Coolcalmcollect:it is not reduction of a woman potentials. Ok pls if u answer this question sincerely yu would understand what am say. if a man who is a bsc holder marries a poor girl from his village, can a woman who is a bsc holder marry a poor man from her village. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by MrBrownJay1(m): 9:24pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
Farki: Sadly the issue here has nothing to do with women, and all to do with the r/ship that Nigerians have with money. In Nigeria MONEY IS EVERYTHING so we can't blame ANYONE for using that as a mean to be in control in their lives....MEN do it all the time, and there is no issues with it, why should it be a problem when women do it?! So many women settle for good for nothing useless men because of money, so many women are used and abused because of the little monetary gain that these men bring to these poor deluded women's lives... No wonder so many dudes out there are quick to say (to other men):" make money and women will come" We have to be honest with ourselves and certanly shouldn't expect this issue to be a good thing if men have money but negative if women do the exact same thing. That's the definition of being hypocrites. 7 Likes |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by CAPSLOCKED: 9:30pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
MJBOLT: when a man is rich, his partner is rich as well, in most cases.. as he'll always want to give her the good things of life. when a woman is rich, well, if she's not going to abandon her poor partner for a richer one, then she must make sure he regrets life everyday for the rest of his days. not here to argue. just stating the fact which is easily observed in our everyday world. this is the main reason most men will never be comfortable with a more successful partner. 13 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by bukatyne(f): 9:32pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
MrBrownJay1: 100% Nigerians, money and relationships are a terrible mix. ![]() 5 Likes |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by bukatyne(f): 9:34pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
MJBOLT: Then be with someone who lacks the capacity to be 'more successful' or 'better than' you. Because of you both are doing your thing diligently, God can decide to favour either/ both part(ies) at different capacities. You should also note that a number of men expect their women to behave somehow so they create atmosphere for such with their insecurities. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by Farki: 9:55pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
MrBrownJay1: I'm just stating my personal experience. I rarely see a woman actively choose to be with a man who earns less. When such happens there tends to be some resentment because the man isn't 'on her level'. 1 Like |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by MrBrownJay1(m): 10:05pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
Farki: It happens more often than you may think, but due to insecurity and low self esteem, these men demand that their women act as if they don't earn more, act as if they didn't have a car before they met the dude, act as if the dude is paying for everything. I blame this issue on these insecure low self esteem men AND the deluded women that go down to these men's low level. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by MrBrownJay1(m): 10:08pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
CAPSLOCKED: Bro, sadly that's because you believe that these women being in bondage and controlled with money, is a good thing for women....but the minute these women do the same to men, it's a different matter. Rich men don't bring nothing to poor women's life but a warm place where they will become slaves...let's not kid ourselves. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by AfroKnight: 10:09pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
CAPSLOCKED: The first sentence says it all. When a man has money, he and his wife both have money. When a wife has money, she has money. Anyway, I don’t care and have never cared about the wealth of my babes. One thing I know is even female workers prefer male bosses to female ones. This is because most females cannot handle success. They are not gracious with it and I believe it is because they were raised by society to measure their success against men. Their achievements only make sense when compared with those of men. In the end, by the woman’s design, a woman’s success or achievement is nothing if there is no man to measure dicks with. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by CAPSLOCKED: 10:18pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
MrBrownJay1: I'm not talking about control. I've seen your argument and I'd argue you don't live in this part of the world. I grew up around Igbo men. the business minded ones that always worked to earn something so as to keep their families comfortable. those men were always tattered and dirty. you'll know how much they earn when you see their wives and kids... mostly clean, happy and comfortable... while daddy worked his life out. when a man has money, his wife benefits greatly, assuming there's nothing like bondage or control in the equation. but when the riches belongs to the wife this time, the man is always ridiculed and tattered. he's always running from his home because he'd be taunted to death, bullied and used with zero pity. I'm stating the facts as I've observed in years of survey and experience. no gender wars about this. 10 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by theakuko: 11:16pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
Coolcalmcollect: Dear OP, The typical Nigerian woman is known to want a man that can take care of her and provide for her needs. All of this comes with a price of course as she is expected to be submissive to such a man in return. On the other hand, the typical Nigerian man while growing up has been indoctrinated to see himself as responsible for meeting the needs of his woman and her kids in exchange for their submission and respect. Hence the prospect of the woman becoming [more] economically empowered than the man will end up violating this principle as the woman will be tempted to see no wisdom in remaining submissive to a man for providing her with what she is now able to provide for herself. Furthermore, the man may begin to feel emasculated. Especially as he loses the honour that comes with actively fulfilling the role of “provider of the household” or “man of the house” Trust me when I tell you that this is not the kind of situation in which you will want to find yourself especially if you are a responsible traditional man. Your wife or significant other will see no reason to be respectful or submissive to you especially if she entered into that relationship with you because of money or for some other material reasons. It will take only a traditional woman that is genuinely in love with you to remain level-headed even after becoming more richer or successful than you. I guess it all boils down to the kind of choices we make when choosing who to enter into a relationship with. If traditional men can learn to stop chasing women with money and instead go for women who possess the capacity to show them genuine love; then the issue of Nigerian women being more financially successful than their partners won't be a problem provided that the men themselves aren't irresponsible. SHALOM emmaodet: Well it can be difficult [but not impossible] to know for sure. However, if she shows more interest in your pocket than in you, or you find yourself in a situation whereby you feel obligated to spend your money in order to “win her affections”, then such a woman can't really be said to have genuine love for you. For such women, being in a relationship is more of a business transaction wherein their heart is auctioned off to the highest bidder. Dunno if you get my point. ![]() 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by Coolcalmcollect(m): 11:51pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
AfroKnight:so you'd stop any chance of your wife becoming more successful Dan you just cos to you a woman can't Control success? wow wonderful |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by Coolcalmcollect(m): 11:54pm On Jan 26, 2020 |
you guys should know money doesn't force or make a woman submissive to you. It depends on how you respect yourself...ive never heard of alakija's husband dragging her net worth with her.....and they live happy on the low. imagine her husband had this low selfesteem mindset and insecurity, will she be so wealthy?? y'all should have a rethink. |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by MightySirKay(m): 12:24am On Jan 27, 2020 |
OP, when a woman is richer than her husband, there would be a shift of power in the house and the woman would surely abuse that power. My babe's mom is 50 times richer than her dad, the little i know about the way her mom controls every body in that house made me had a re-think about this issue. Even my babe told me that its a must for me to be richer than she would be coz she doesn't want what is happening between her dad and mom to happen to her. Do you think Alakija won't be controlling her husband? A lot of things are happening behind the scene. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by MrCork: 12:35am On Jan 27, 2020 |
Coolcalmcollect: ONILA U AGAIN!! ![]() |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by MrCork: 12:37am On Jan 27, 2020 |
bukatyne: ..baby i love ilitarate women that can't read....can u read? ![]() |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by mumumugu(m): 1:01am On Jan 27, 2020 |
Alfather: tell me, I want to change my orientation |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by mumumugu(m): 1:03am On Jan 27, 2020 |
justnock: you must be intelligent. unfortunately, intelligent girls like mumu guy 2 Likes |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by mumumugu(m): 1:04am On Jan 27, 2020 |
MJBOLT: choleric ladies |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by mumumugu(m): 1:08am On Jan 27, 2020 |
Farki:women marry up. men marry down. for such to take place, the man must be better intellectually, while the woman is better financially. she knows that without his wisdom,she could make financial mistake.only then will she be submissive. If he is not better in anyway, then, she will resent him or make him as useful as houseboy 1 Like |
Re: Why Are Most Nigerian Men So Insecure? by Nnemuka(f): 1:08am On Jan 27, 2020 |
Wantedmiller:Can you truly be happy if your wife is more successful than you? if yes, then you are likely from a more civilized society. MJBOLT:Success changes both Male and female sir |
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