Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Jabioro: 5:53am On Jan 29, 2020 |
OP relaxed your mind as there is nothing dropping from the sky that the Earth would not contain.The deeds has been done,the devil has been casted and she is read to trouble tomorrow.Don't tell your future wife anything,keep it as a screet ,if possible move out that area..I warned you do not revealed it to her...she found out after many years then she might have got her baby for you.. heaven will not fall..Go ahead and do your marriage..The Lola the devil fe sofo danu no! |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by sunshine1974(m): 5:53am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Jeffmonti: My concern is what my girlfriend will do to herself, if she leaves I’ll have my self to blame and move on. if i have my way i will pay child support to for the child when he/she come out after a DNA test of course. *But I’ll never marry a desperate woman* I was thinking of calling Lola on another phone and set up a meeting to let her i know I’ll pay child support. But not sure if i should wait for the child to be born first or just do it today. I have been really restless for many weeks.
Brothers learn from my mistakes abeg
haba stop calling her a desperate woman, no be everybody like to dey spoil Belle na 2 Likes |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Nobody: 5:56am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Honestly this is the best advice for you. You should only say the truth to your fiancé when the truth need to be told. Like the op advices, change your current apartment and location, cut off all contacts with the Lola of a girl, change your phone numbers, delete or disable all your social media accounts and move on, Don’t let this Lola of a girl cost you your happiness, she took 100k to abort the pregnancy, so if she decide to keep it then she should face it alone. Because chances of you telling your fiancé the mess and losing her is 90/10. Don’t even try it bro. You did your part well by giving her 100k to abort it and whatever she decide to do after collecting such money from you shouldn’t be your headache anymore. Vision2045: My guy this your matter tie wrapper o come geolock the wrapper self.
My guy advising you is tough cos you don't even know the final decision of that Lola of a girl..she can wake one day and just change her mind when the tussle and hassle of raising a child single handedly start to surface and if by then you are married to your current girl without her knowing of such incidence that can take a very bad turn.
From another perspective..what if the girl has truly terminated the pregnancy, then that may seem more safer for your relationship or marriage sake to your current girl.
I will advice you call the girl or text her, tell her u have something very urgent or lie to her that you guys have a strong family thingy that you must discuss with her..just to ascertain if she is still preggy...if that works and you meet her..two things are involve..
1 she is till preggy, (don't even bother asking her y she kept it..just accept she is having the baby)
if that is the case just open up to your financee o, let her know that all you want from that Lola is just the baby..invite your family to help pacify her as well
2. She is not preggy again...then you know what is best to do.
But no matter how it plays....remember any decision you make today..you will surely face the consequences in the future..(just like the 30seconds cum inside Lola honey-pot of yesterday is about to cost you a good girl)
I rest my case.
cc. Lalasticlala
|
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by CsRockefeller(m): 6:00am On Jan 29, 2020 |
ianq:
Humourous. Honest. Succinct. All things equal, you should belong to the former group; your logical awareness, approach and presentation give you away You read in between the lines, that's smart. ![wink](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/wink.png) 1 Like |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Nsonaso(m): 6:00am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Jeffmonti: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help!
This might turn out to be a lengthy read, please bear with me. The bashing and insults will be unnecessary as i have already told myself hurtful things a thousand times over.
So i am 29 and have a girlfriend who’s 25 we are both graduates; she’s a nurse and i am a practicing engineer and we’ve been dating for 3+ years now and preparations are underway to tie the knot this year God willing. Something happened last year, she suggested i move to a bigger apartment so that we can start buying household items and everything necessary to start a home as we are looking to get married soon which we did; i got a bigger place, met her parents she met mine. In a nutshell everything seems to be going well, we even started a business together and set to take on the future together before the devil struck (i take blames for my actions as i am not overly religious)
Around June last year, i met a girl (very fine girl) in the new area i moved to, although i have been seeing the girl around but one day as i was driving in i saw her hiding somewhere close to my compound avoiding the rain with her friends so i took them in until the rain subsided we exchanged contacts and started texting on WhatsApp a few days later. And soon after we started having sex (protected sex), prior to that time i never cheated on my girlfriend. The sex continued, up to 2 times a week sometimes 3 as it was relatively easy as she lived very close and my girlfriend only visits on the weekend and never sleeps out (she’s from a very good and wealthy family with proper moral upbringing). Most evenings when return from work conji just do me one kind i don cross street other times she calls until we became comfortable having unprotected sex
So late October 2019, the new girl (I’ll call her Lola) texted me that’s she’s not feeling too well and i asked her to visit the hospital to run a test to know what to treat. She came back with a pregnancy test result proving she’s already 3 weeks pregnant, i was sure it was mine but i didn’t panic as she had a bf and i have my gf we were just for the sex at least that’s what we told each other.
So i asked her to remove the pregnancy, but got the shocker when she said she’s never going to remove the pregnancy that she’s 27 and have no desire to marry me or stay with me but she’s going to have the child. Omo my heart flipped. I begged her for like 3 weeks until she got mad and stopped taking my calls, she even moved away from her apartment. So i texted her and arranged a meeting, we sat down and discussed at length but she was still bent on keeping it, i got furious and told her i am not ready to be part of the child’s life if she’s going through with it as i see no reason why she wants to have my child when she knows we are NEVER going to be together, that was when she said she had already told her family that i am not interested in the child and they support her to keep it and let the child bear their family name. I discussed the matter with two friends a boy and a girl and the asked me to let her have the child first.
One month passed fast forward to early December, Lola called 6 times i was so shocked. I couldn’t take her calls. She texted that she’s ready to terminate the pregnancy since i am wicked and unconcerned she rained all manner of derogatory words but i was only concern with her decision to let go. I called and we agreed to meet the following day, I skipped work that day and met with her and her elder sister and elder sister’s friend. The sister and her friend were so mean but i was unmoved; i don already fuckup and ready to take anything to let it all go away because the knowledge of things will destroy my girlfriend.
So Lola entered my vehicle and we drove out, on our way to the hospital for her to terminate the pregnancy plus treatment she’ll take afterwards and for the damages i have caused her. She’s going to need 150k from me, i was furious and told her i don’t have that kind of money talk less of handing it over to her for something like this (i sure don’t know what i cost but i know it’s not up to 50k). She said if i don’t give her what she want she’s going to have the baby and that i should be thankful that she’s coming up with this that if she had listen to her friends advices she would have moved to my house with all sort of troubles (she was right) but i didn’t give in just yet. I dropped her off and ask her to have the child that am not going to give her the money as i don’t have it (I get the money sha).
So two days passed, she called again and after many arguments we agreed at 100k, made her to sign a NDA not to bother me again and all, I transferred her the 100k that night, she confirmed receipt and promised to go with it the following morning and that was the last I have heard or seen or her since then, until 3 weeks ago when another of her sister called from Canada and was asking if i am Me, that she’s been seeking my contact for a while now that Lola friend had to steal the number Lola’s phone and pass it to her as Lola has been hiding my phone number from the rest of the family and she doesn’t know the arrangement i have had with her but i should know that she’s having the child, she just thought i should know that i have a child somewhere when the baby eventually drops.
Knowing fully well that i am a shitty person to have done something terrible to myself and my girlfriend and all our future plans because of cheap sex, but I’ll be a more terribly bad person to have knowledge of a child somewhere and not be in his/her life. I called Lola but she didn’t take i texted her about her sisters call she called back to know who called and was furious, she ended the call (I guess to call her sister back) and called back again in about 20mins and asked me not to ever call her line again. I replied her text she should tell her family not call me as well. I have dodged to her apartment building a coupe times but she’s not been around for weeks as i was made to believe.
So i bought a ring to engage my girl few weeks ago but had to hold first to see how things play out, i can’t go ahead and marry my girlfriend with this kind of secret untold; that will be wickedness from the pit of hell and i still don’t know how to break it to her, it will destroy her.
I jokingly painted a similar scenery to my girlfriend; her response was: she will not marry me because if she does she will kill me in my sleep. That everybody is expecting us to get married this year, she now have high respect from her family because of me and this kind of thing happens both of us will die. Omo fear catch me.
Fellow Nairalanders, this is my predicament please advice a stupid brother. Insults are welcome as I hope to pick a thing or two from your comments. MODs please push this up biko. OK bro First call the babe that you got pregnant and deeply apologize to her Then tell your girlfriend everything and apologize to her if she doesn't forgive you, leave her and marry the one that is pregnant for you as she seems to be a good woman. Also you made a mistake by tell her you will never be part of the baby's life what if karma decide you will not have another child? 1 Like |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Jpmacleo: 6:03am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Nnaa calm down. No be today nyash begin dey for back. To start with , I have a good experience in this kind of thing. In fact I am 41 and my son is in 4th year in Futmina and he is 23. I am married now with two small kids though to another woman of my dream and yet I still chop my baby mama kpekus till tomorrow. I started living with my boy even when I was in the university. I hear am aha. Now in this your case, my advice goes this way. 1) Do not marry yet until she gives birth. Ignore all the threats . 2) Get ready to pack out from your place right now . 3) After the birth, two to three months letter call her, or TeX her and apologize to her promising to try ur best in the babies upkeep having a budget of 10 to 15k monthly if you have. 4) Never you consider this baby mama for marriage as marrying her will put u in a family blackmail forever. 5) Get another sweet babe more beautiful than the two though not with marriage promises. 6) after three months of giving birth inform you fiancee what happened. She will cry her eyes out buy thats the truth . Go to ur friends house and Sleep the day this bad news was broken. 7) Allow some time for your fiancee to have a rethink. ![cool](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cool.png) Continue to mouth pressure on her with forgiveness calls and love blablabla .they have chicken brain. 9) please ignore ur potential baby mama's call or tex after her child birth for say 2 to three months. So that when ur call comes, she will have no uption than to chill. 10) Don't tell your parents until after the birth. 11 one bottle of beer for further advice , after all na you chop kpekus 3 time in a week like vitamin syrup alone. 2 Likes |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by MrDoGood(m): 6:05am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Jeffmonti: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help!
This might turn out to be a lengthy read, please bear with me. The bashing and insults will be unnecessary as i have already told myself hurtful things a thousand times over.
So i am 29 and have a girlfriend who’s 25 we are both graduates; she’s a nurse and i am a practicing engineer and we’ve been dating for 3+ years now and preparations are underway to tie the knot this year God willing. Something happened last year, she suggested i move to a bigger apartment so that we can start buying household items and everything necessary to start a home as we are looking to get married soon which we did; i got a bigger place, met her parents she met mine. In a nutshell everything seems to be going well, we even started a business together and set to take on the future together before the devil struck (i take blames for my actions as i am not overly religious)
Around June last year, i met a girl (very fine girl) in the new area i moved to, although i have been seeing the girl around but one day as i was driving in i saw her hiding somewhere close to my compound avoiding the rain with her friends so i took them in until the rain subsided we exchanged contacts and started texting on WhatsApp a few days later. And soon after we started having sex (protected sex), prior to that time i never cheated on my girlfriend. The sex continued, up to 2 times a week sometimes 3 as it was relatively easy as she lived very close and my girlfriend only visits on the weekend and never sleeps out (she’s from a very good and wealthy family with proper moral upbringing). Most evenings when return from work conji just do me one kind i don cross street other times she calls until we became comfortable having unprotected sex
So late October 2019, the new girl (I’ll call her Lola) texted me that’s she’s not feeling too well and i asked her to visit the hospital to run a test to know what to treat. She came back with a pregnancy test result proving she’s already 3 weeks pregnant, i was sure it was mine but i didn’t panic as she had a bf and i have my gf we were just for the sex at least that’s what we told each other.
So i asked her to remove the pregnancy, but got the shocker when she said she’s never going to remove the pregnancy that she’s 27 and have no desire to marry me or stay with me but she’s going to have the child. Omo my heart flipped. I begged her for like 3 weeks until she got mad and stopped taking my calls, she even moved away from her apartment. So i texted her and arranged a meeting, we sat down and discussed at length but she was still bent on keeping it, i got furious and told her i am not ready to be part of the child’s life if she’s going through with it as i see no reason why she wants to have my child when she knows we are NEVER going to be together, that was when she said she had already told her family that i am not interested in the child and they support her to keep it and let the child bear their family name. I discussed the matter with two friends a boy and a girl and the asked me to let her have the child first.
One month passed fast forward to early December, Lola called 6 times i was so shocked. I couldn’t take her calls. She texted that she’s ready to terminate the pregnancy since i am wicked and unconcerned she rained all manner of derogatory words but i was only concern with her decision to let go. I called and we agreed to meet the following day, I skipped work that day and met with her and her elder sister and elder sister’s friend. The sister and her friend were so mean but i was unmoved; i don already fuckup and ready to take anything to let it all go away because the knowledge of things will destroy my girlfriend.
So Lola entered my vehicle and we drove out, on our way to the hospital for her to terminate the pregnancy plus treatment she’ll take afterwards and for the damages i have caused her. She’s going to need 150k from me, i was furious and told her i don’t have that kind of money talk less of handing it over to her for something like this (i sure don’t know what i cost but i know it’s not up to 50k). She said if i don’t give her what she want she’s going to have the baby and that i should be thankful that she’s coming up with this that if she had listen to her friends advices she would have moved to my house with all sort of troubles (she was right) but i didn’t give in just yet. I dropped her off and ask her to have the child that am not going to give her the money as i don’t have it (I get the money sha).
So two days passed, she called again and after many arguments we agreed at 100k, made her to sign a NDA not to bother me again and all, I transferred her the 100k that night, she confirmed receipt and promised to go with it the following morning and that was the last I have heard or seen or her since then, until 3 weeks ago when another of her sister called from Canada and was asking if i am Me, that she’s been seeking my contact for a while now that Lola friend had to steal the number Lola’s phone and pass it to her as Lola has been hiding my phone number from the rest of the family and she doesn’t know the arrangement i have had with her but i should know that she’s having the child, she just thought i should know that i have a child somewhere when the baby eventually drops.
Knowing fully well that i am a shitty person to have done something terrible to myself and my girlfriend and all our future plans because of cheap sex, but I’ll be a more terribly bad person to have knowledge of a child somewhere and not be in his/her life. I called Lola but she didn’t take i texted her about her sisters call she called back to know who called and was furious, she ended the call (I guess to call her sister back) and called back again in about 20mins and asked me not to ever call her line again. I replied her text she should tell her family not call me as well. I have dodged to her apartment building a coupe times but she’s not been around for weeks as i was made to believe.
So i bought a ring to engage my girl few weeks ago but had to hold first to see how things play out, i can’t go ahead and marry my girlfriend with this kind of secret untold; that will be wickedness from the pit of hell and i still don’t know how to break it to her, it will destroy her.
I jokingly painted a similar scenery to my girlfriend; her response was: she will not marry me because if she does she will kill me in my sleep. That everybody is expecting us to get married this year, she now have high respect from her family because of me and this kind of thing happens both of us will die. Omo fear catch me.
Fellow Nairalanders, this is my predicament please advice a stupid brother. Insults are welcome as I hope to pick a thing or two from your comments. MODs please push this up biko. Guy chill, she don remove the belle. Her sister in Canada abi na Ojota just dey mumu herself. Nothing like any pregnancy somewhere. |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by daisidavid(m): 6:14am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Vision2045: My Real advise of thw decade! I presume you should learn outta this guy this your matter tie wrapper o come geolock the wrapper self.
My guy advising you is tough cos you don't even know the final decision of that Lola of a girl..she can wake one day and just change her mind when the tussle and hassle of raising a child single handedly start to surface and if by then you are married to your current girl without her knowing of such incidence that can take a very bad turn.
From another perspective..what if the girl has truly terminated the pregnancy, then that may seem more safer for your relationship or marriage sake to your current girl.
I will advice you call the girl or text her, tell her u have something very urgent or lie to her that you guys have a strong family thingy that you must discuss with her..just to ascertain if she is still preggy...if that works and you meet her..two things are involve..
1 she is till preggy, (don't even bother asking her y she kept it..just accept she is having the baby)
if that is the case just open up to your financee o, let her know that all you want from that Lola is just the baby..invite your family to help pacify her as well
2. She is not preggy again...then you know what is best to do.
But no matter how it plays....remember any decision you make today..you will surely face the consequences in the future..(just like the 30seconds cum inside Lola honey-pot of yesterday is about to cost you a good girl)
I rest my case.
cc. Lalasticlala
|
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by lydiaoluwaseyi(f): 6:16am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Is better to be truthful,if she can still manage you then she will wait. Also from this learn to hold to yourself not all ladies you must get close too because most ladies have hidden plan,until you fall victim before you realise how everything went so fast. 1 Like |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by sharone21(f): 6:19am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Nsonaso:
OK bro First call the babe that you got pregnant and deeply apologize to her
Then tell your girlfriend everything and apologize to her if she doesn't forgive you, leave her and marry the one that is pregnant for you as she seems to be a good woman. Also you made a mistake by tell her you will never be part of the baby's life what if karma decide you will not have another child? I had to check first and surprised a man wrote this. Oil dey your head. |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by frozen70(f): 6:20am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Jeffmonti: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help!
This might turn out to be a lengthy read, please bear with me. The bashing and insults will be unnecessary as i have already told myself hurtful things a thousand times over.
So i am 29 and have a girlfriend who’s 25 we are both graduates; she’s a nurse and i am a practicing engineer and we’ve been dating for 3+ years now and preparations are underway to tie the knot this year God willing. Something happened last year, she suggested i move to a bigger apartment so that we can start buying household items and everything necessary to start a home as we are looking to get married soon which we did; i got a bigger place, met her parents she met mine. In a nutshell everything seems to be going well, we even started a business together and set to take on the future together before the devil struck (i take blames for my actions as i am not overly religious)
Around June last year, i met a girl (very fine girl) in the new area i moved to, although i have been seeing the girl around but one day as i was driving in i saw her hiding somewhere close to my compound avoiding the rain with her friends so i took them in until the rain subsided we exchanged contacts and started texting on WhatsApp a few days later. And soon after we started having sex (protected sex), prior to that time i never cheated on my girlfriend. The sex continued, up to 2 times a week sometimes 3 as it was relatively easy as she lived very close and my girlfriend only visits on the weekend and never sleeps out (she’s from a very good and wealthy family with proper moral upbringing). Most evenings when return from work conji just do me one kind i don cross street other times she calls until we became comfortable having unprotected sex
So late October 2019, the new girl (I’ll call her Lola) texted me that’s she’s not feeling too well and i asked her to visit the hospital to run a test to know what to treat. She came back with a pregnancy test result proving she’s already 3 weeks pregnant, i was sure it was mine but i didn’t panic as she had a bf and i have my gf we were just for the sex at least that’s what we told each other.
So i asked her to remove the pregnancy, but got the shocker when she said she’s never going to remove the pregnancy that she’s 27 and have no desire to marry me or stay with me but she’s going to have the child. Omo my heart flipped. I begged her for like 3 weeks until she got mad and stopped taking my calls, she even moved away from her apartment. So i texted her and arranged a meeting, we sat down and discussed at length but she was still bent on keeping it, i got furious and told her i am not ready to be part of the child’s life if she’s going through with it as i see no reason why she wants to have my child when she knows we are NEVER going to be together, that was when she said she had already told her family that i am not interested in the child and they support her to keep it and let the child bear their family name. I discussed the matter with two friends a boy and a girl and the asked me to let her have the child first.
One month passed fast forward to early December, Lola called 6 times i was so shocked. I couldn’t take her calls. She texted that she’s ready to terminate the pregnancy since i am wicked and unconcerned she rained all manner of derogatory words but i was only concern with her decision to let go. I called and we agreed to meet the following day, I skipped work that day and met with her and her elder sister and elder sister’s friend. The sister and her friend were so mean but i was unmoved; i don already fuckup and ready to take anything to let it all go away because the knowledge of things will destroy my girlfriend.
So Lola entered my vehicle and we drove out, on our way to the hospital for her to terminate the pregnancy plus treatment she’ll take afterwards and for the damages i have caused her. She’s going to need 150k from me, i was furious and told her i don’t have that kind of money talk less of handing it over to her for something like this (i sure don’t know what i cost but i know it’s not up to 50k). She said if i don’t give her what she want she’s going to have the baby and that i should be thankful that she’s coming up with this that if she had listen to her friends advices she would have moved to my house with all sort of troubles (she was right) but i didn’t give in just yet. I dropped her off and ask her to have the child that am not going to give her the money as i don’t have it (I get the money sha).
So two days passed, she called again and after many arguments we agreed at 100k, made her to sign a NDA not to bother me again and all, I transferred her the 100k that night, she confirmed receipt and promised to go with it the following morning and that was the last I have heard or seen or her since then, until 3 weeks ago when another of her sister called from Canada and was asking if i am Me, that she’s been seeking my contact for a while now that Lola friend had to steal the number Lola’s phone and pass it to her as Lola has been hiding my phone number from the rest of the family and she doesn’t know the arrangement i have had with her but i should know that she’s having the child, she just thought i should know that i have a child somewhere when the baby eventually drops.
Knowing fully well that i am a shitty person to have done something terrible to myself and my girlfriend and all our future plans because of cheap sex, but I’ll be a more terribly bad person to have knowledge of a child somewhere and not be in his/her life. I called Lola but she didn’t take i texted her about her sisters call she called back to know who called and was furious, she ended the call (I guess to call her sister back) and called back again in about 20mins and asked me not to ever call her line again. I replied her text she should tell her family not call me as well. I have dodged to her apartment building a coupe times but she’s not been around for weeks as i was made to believe.
So i bought a ring to engage my girl few weeks ago but had to hold first to see how things play out, i can’t go ahead and marry my girlfriend with this kind of secret untold; that will be wickedness from the pit of hell and i still don’t know how to break it to her, it will destroy her.
I jokingly painted a similar scenery to my girlfriend; her response was: she will not marry me because if she does she will kill me in my sleep. That everybody is expecting us to get married this year, she now have high respect from her family because of me and this kind of thing happens both of us will die. Omo fear catch me.
Fellow Nairalanders, this is my predicament please advice a stupid brother. Insults are welcome as I hope to pick a thing or two from your comments. MODs please push this up biko. I suggest you tell her, be sorber and remorseful if you really are She will be made at you and can go gaga, but calm her down and assure her it's a mistake and you can't explain how it all started She will inform her family and its left for you to clear the mess before her family and assure them that you don't intend having Lola as your wife but their daughter If they pardon you, good luck and if they don't, take a break and come back to her again You have really break her heart and she will be bittered about it If at the end it doesn't work out, you ha e to bear it As for Lola, let her have her baby if she wishes Go and start looking for another woman But I bet you, only God will guarantee you of your happiness in this triangle you have put yourself into 3 Likes |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by iammiracle1(m): 6:21am On Jan 29, 2020 |
luminouz:
How hard can it be for him to disappear na?
You keep talking as if he is the only one to blame? The girl knew the consequences yet she went ahead, for someone with wealthy folks like that,she is asking for 150k to abort? Did u notice how she stepped down when he was stubborn? She knew he was weak minded that was why she was manipulating his ass by threatening him,even after collecting his 100k?
Why are you folks not opening ya eyes to see?
If he had damned her and her shiit, she would have stopped disturbing him.
My advice?
I dont even think she is fuqin pregnant!!!! Let her bear the audio child first naaaaa.
I think you mixed it up, its his original gf that is from a wealthy family, but its true op should have immediately taken her for test, moreover she has a bf herself what of if they're trying to fleece op together or pin it on him because they see he has small change? Inside life sha, all this could have been jejely avoided if he had a little restraint 1 Like |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by sharone21(f): 6:23am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Jpmacleo: Nnaa calm down. No be today nyash begin dey for back. To start with , I have a good experience in this kind of thing. In fact I am 41 and my son is in 4th year in Futmina and he is 23. I am married now with two small kids though to another woman of my dream and yet I still chop my baby mama kpekus till tomorrow. I started living with my boy even when I was in the university. I hear am aha. Now in this your case, my advice goes this way.
1) Do not marry yet until she gives birth. Ignore all the threats . 2) Get ready to pack out from your place right now . 3) After the birth, two to three months letter call her, or TeX her and apologize to her promising to try ur best in the babies upkeep having a budget of 10 to 15k monthly if you have. 4) Never you consider this baby mama for marriage as marrying her will put u in a family blackmail forever. 5) Get another sweet babe more beautiful than the two though not with marriage promises. 6) after three months of giving birth inform you fiancee what happened. She will cry her eyes out buy thats the truth . Go to ur friends house and Sleep the day this bad news was broken. 7) Allow some time for your fiancee to have a rethink.
Continue to mouth pressure on her with forgiveness calls and love blablabla .they have chicken brain. 9) please ignore ur potential baby mama's call or tex after her child birth for say 2 to three months. So that when ur call comes, she will have no uption than to chill.
10) Don't tell your parents until after the birth.
11 one bottle of beer for further advice , after all na you chop kpekus 3 time in a week like vitamin syrup alone. One day YOU too will have a daughter that a man like YOU will do similarly to....Karma is a BITCH. 1 Like |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Euegene100001: 6:24am On Jan 29, 2020 |
To my fellow youths be careful with sex 5 minutes pleasure can lead you to a life time of regrets always use a condom or jejely abstain .my 2cent 1 Like |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by luminouz(m): 6:28am On Jan 29, 2020 |
iammiracle1:
I think you mixed it up, its his original gf that is from a wealthy family, but its true op should have immediately taken her for test, moreover she has a bf herself what of if they're trying to fleece op together or pin it on him because they see he has small change? Inside life sha, all this could have been jejely avoided if he had a little restraint The side chick has a sister in Canada. That's why I said her people get money o At the rest,you may be right 1 Like |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by luminouz(m): 6:30am On Jan 29, 2020 |
sharone21:
One day YOU too will have a daughter that a man like YOU will do similarly to....Karma is a BITCH. Lol,you don vex... ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) Stop with the karma nonsense. If that shiit really works, Yusuf buhari go don die since ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Femsyn(m): 6:31am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Some boys always think "after".
Dont ever make the mistake of not telling your real girlfriend before proposal.
Is Lola not good enough for marriage? I guess not, she's only good for unprotected sex.
You and Lola deserve what happens afterwards. |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Adegreen(m): 6:34am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Jeffmonti: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help!
This might turn out to be a lengthy read, please bear with me. The bashing and insults will be unnecessary as i have already told myself hurtful things a thousand times over.
So i am 29 and have a girlfriend who’s 25 we are both graduates; she’s a nurse and i am a practicing engineer and we’ve been dating for 3+ years now and preparations are underway to tie the knot this year God willing. Something happened last year, she suggested i move to a bigger apartment so that we can start buying household items and everything necessary to start a home as we are looking to get married soon which we did; i got a bigger place, met her parents she met mine. In a nutshell everything seems to be going well, we even started a business together and set to take on the future together before the devil struck (i take blames for my actions as i am not overly religious)
Around June last year, i met a girl (very fine girl) in the new area i moved to, although i have been seeing the girl around but one day as i was driving in i saw her hiding somewhere close to my compound avoiding the rain with her friends so i took them in until the rain subsided we exchanged contacts and started texting on WhatsApp a few days later. And soon after we started having sex (protected sex), prior to that time i never cheated on my girlfriend. The sex continued, up to 2 times a week sometimes 3 as it was relatively easy as she lived very close and my girlfriend only visits on the weekend and never sleeps out (she’s from a very good and wealthy family with proper moral upbringing). Most evenings when return from work conji just do me one kind i don cross street other times she calls until we became comfortable having unprotected sex
So late October 2019, the new girl (I’ll call her Lola) texted me that’s she’s not feeling too well and i asked her to visit the hospital to run a test to know what to treat. She came back with a pregnancy test result proving she’s already 3 weeks pregnant, i was sure it was mine but i didn’t panic as she had a bf and i have my gf we were just for the sex at least that’s what we told each other.
So i asked her to remove the pregnancy, but got the shocker when she said she’s never going to remove the pregnancy that she’s 27 and have no desire to marry me or stay with me but she’s going to have the child. Omo my heart flipped. I begged her for like 3 weeks until she got mad and stopped taking my calls, she even moved away from her apartment. So i texted her and arranged a meeting, we sat down and discussed at length but she was still bent on keeping it, i got furious and told her i am not ready to be part of the child’s life if she’s going through with it as i see no reason why she wants to have my child when she knows we are NEVER going to be together, that was when she said she had already told her family that i am not interested in the child and they support her to keep it and let the child bear their family name. I discussed the matter with two friends a boy and a girl and the asked me to let her have the child first.
One month passed fast forward to early December, Lola called 6 times i was so shocked. I couldn’t take her calls. She texted that she’s ready to terminate the pregnancy since i am wicked and unconcerned she rained all manner of derogatory words but i was only concern with her decision to let go. I called and we agreed to meet the following day, I skipped work that day and met with her and her elder sister and elder sister’s friend. The sister and her friend were so mean but i was unmoved; i don already fuckup and ready to take anything to let it all go away because the knowledge of things will destroy my girlfriend.
So Lola entered my vehicle and we drove out, on our way to the hospital for her to terminate the pregnancy plus treatment she’ll take afterwards and for the damages i have caused her. She’s going to need 150k from me, i was furious and told her i don’t have that kind of money talk less of handing it over to her for something like this (i sure don’t know what i cost but i know it’s not up to 50k). She said if i don’t give her what she want she’s going to have the baby and that i should be thankful that she’s coming up with this that if she had listen to her friends advices she would have moved to my house with all sort of troubles (she was right) but i didn’t give in just yet. I dropped her off and ask her to have the child that am not going to give her the money as i don’t have it (I get the money sha).
So two days passed, she called again and after many arguments we agreed at 100k, made her to sign a NDA not to bother me again and all, I transferred her the 100k that night, she confirmed receipt and promised to go with it the following morning and that was the last I have heard or seen or her since then, until 3 weeks ago when another of her sister called from Canada and was asking if i am Me, that she’s been seeking my contact for a while now that Lola friend had to steal the number Lola’s phone and pass it to her as Lola has been hiding my phone number from the rest of the family and she doesn’t know the arrangement i have had with her but i should know that she’s having the child, she just thought i should know that i have a child somewhere when the baby eventually drops.
Knowing fully well that i am a shitty person to have done something terrible to myself and my girlfriend and all our future plans because of cheap sex, but I’ll be a more terribly bad person to have knowledge of a child somewhere and not be in his/her life. I called Lola but she didn’t take i texted her about her sisters call she called back to know who called and was furious, she ended the call (I guess to call her sister back) and called back again in about 20mins and asked me not to ever call her line again. I replied her text she should tell her family not call me as well. I have dodged to her apartment building a coupe times but she’s not been around for weeks as i was made to believe.
So i bought a ring to engage my girl few weeks ago but had to hold first to see how things play out, i can’t go ahead and marry my girlfriend with this kind of secret untold; that will be wickedness from the pit of hell and i still don’t know how to break it to her, it will destroy her.
I jokingly painted a similar scenery to my girlfriend; her response was: she will not marry me because if she does she will kill me in my sleep. That everybody is expecting us to get married this year, she now have high respect from her family because of me and this kind of thing happens both of us will die. Omo fear catch me.
Fellow Nairalanders, this is my predicament please advice a stupid brother. Insults are welcome as I hope to pick a thing or two from your comments. MODs please push this up biko. .......you don't need to tell your girlfriend now you can keep it till after wedding and when the secret comes out naturaly |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by luluosas(m): 6:35am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Give your life to Jesus Christ now and you shall be saved 1 Like |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by mopol123: 6:37am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Jeffmonti: My concern is what my girlfriend will do to herself, if she leaves I’ll have my self to blame and move on. if i have my way i will pay child support to for the child when he/she come out after a DNA test of course. But I’ll never marry a desperate woman. I was thinking of calling Lola on another phone and set up a meeting to let her i know I’ll pay child support. But not sure if i should wait for the child to be born first or just do it today. I have been really restless for many weeks.
Brothers learn from my mistakes abeg
guy calm down,don't call her yet wait till the child comes out but try opening up to ur girlfriend. tell her everything even |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by CEOwatazs: 6:38am On Jan 29, 2020 |
OP I enjoyed your story and what a pitty. My sole advise fr you is that; we'll all die in this life and what greater honor it is than knowing the time and the manner at which you'll leave this dreaded world? go ahead and marry her, with that you are certain that you will die in the hands of your wife; certainly she will be sentence to death by hanging in a year or two. So, by 2022 God's willing the Earth will b freed from Your two miserable selves.
In your next life don't capitalize on sex, as there is more to life than that |
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Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by trendyprettygir: 6:42am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Why do I have this feeling the side chick is playing you? Have you seen her lately to confirm her stomach is big? How are you sure you own the pregnancy? Which girl gets pregnant for someone and immediately agrees to keep and then terminate without family wahala? Be ready for a lifetime of blackmail, NDA or not.
To be honest, you need no advise. Your original girl needs to look for someone better. She deserves someone better (as long as she is not a cheat too). You would definitely cheat for the rest of your life - it's very obvious. You are not even remorseful. 1 Like |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by mopol123: 6:42am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Vision2045: My guy this your matter tie wrapper o come geolock the wrapper self.
My guy advising you is tough cos you don't even know the final decision of that Lola of a girl..she can wake one day and just change her mind when the tussle and hassle of raising a child single handedly start to surface and if by then you are married to your current girl without her knowing of such incidence that can take a very bad turn.
From another perspective..what if the girl has truly terminated the pregnancy, then that may seem more safer for your relationship or marriage sake to your current girl.
I will advice you call the girl or text her, tell her u have something very urgent or lie to her that you guys have a strong family thingy that you must discuss with her..just to ascertain if she is still preggy...if that works and you meet her..two things are involve..
1 she is till preggy, (don't even bother asking her y she kept it..just accept she is having the baby)
if that is the case just open up to your financee o, let her know that all you want from that Lola is just the baby..invite your family to help pacify her as well
2. She is not preggy again...then you know what is best to do.
But no matter how it plays....remember any decision you make today..you will surely face the consequences in the future..(just like the 30seconds cum inside Lola honey-pot of yesterday is about to cost you a good girl)
I rest my case.
cc. Lalasticlala
d more reason he should open up early to his girlfriend n fasten up d marriage plan so Lola will know that space no dey 1 Like |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by rottennaija(m): 6:43am On Jan 29, 2020 |
samdavjustin: You already getting good advice here open up and tell your GF she will surely be heart broken. You have made your mistake learn from it and don’t repeat it again. If she has the baby you have to step up and take care of your child, don’t allow another to take responsibility of your child ooo be wise pls He has told the gf without her knowing and she has given her response without her knowing. And it's not good at all. 1 Like |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by engrkaz(m): 6:43am On Jan 29, 2020 |
I can relate.... |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Ladycewhy(f): 6:44am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Men and their penis ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) 1 Like |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by RemmiMartin: 6:46am On Jan 29, 2020 |
[/color]Jeffmonti: My concern is what my girlfriend will do to herself, if she leaves I’ll have my self to blame and move on. if i have my way i will pay child support to for the child when he/she come out after a DNA test of course. But I’ll never marry a desperate woman. I was thinking of calling Lola on another phone and set up a meeting to let her i know I’ll pay child support. But not sure if i should wait for the child to be born first or just do it today. I have been really restless for many weeks.
Brothers learn from my mistakes abeg
Br[color=#770077] Bros let her have the baby first and do a DNA on the child the baby may not be yours and how you never can tell if she was not having the same unprotected sex simultaneously with another man while you guys were doing it, mind you I was a victim of this for 3 years until I summoned the courage to carry out DNA on the child which came negative with 0% paternity chances on the baby. Fear the women of our generation. The other guy may be the owner but not doing well like you women want cold and easy place remember. |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by adisababa1234: 6:47am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Explain to your babe if she's exposed enough she'll know that u can't use pregnancy to tie any man,many did it during our undergraduate in school but they're living to regret it.Let the girl continue to act foolishly and her family continue to support her foolishness. You might buy more time by holding on before u expose yourself to your babe. You might be surprised later on that the girl is playing you with fake pregnancy. Quick up an excuses to move away from that apartment like u have issue with landlord or caretaker on matter of increment. Guy u are too young to live with a nightmare of this small issue don't let the foolish girl take advantage of u. 1 Like |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by JohnQ01(m): 6:48am On Jan 29, 2020 |
Dont feel guilty! You can handle the situation and it's not as serious as you thought. Secondly, it has happened and be sure your pregnant girlfriend knows what she is doing. She definitely wants the baby and has it all planned when you started having unprotected sex.
My only concern is why she collected the 100K? Did she at a time gave the pregnancy a second thought? The pregnancy may not even be yours if it's TRUE she has a boyfriend.
Focus on saving and keeping your relationship. I will not keep the relationship for a start, if my wife to be threatened to kill me if I make mistake(s). I am human, fallible and a Man for that matter. Who says she does not have a secret of her own? If you decided to keep your relationship, tell her without much timeline of event that a girl once threatened you with pregnancy but ran away and lost contact.
Remember, it a man thing, we Bleep around most often or why do you think most family lives are messed up. I think we should start living with some ideals and stop blowing things out of proportion
JohnQ. |
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Vivuch: 6:50am On Jan 29, 2020 |
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Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Tamaris1: 6:51am On Jan 29, 2020 |
My friend, be a man and stop thinking like a woman! I am surprised nobody is considering the feelings of Lola in this matter. Yourself, and everybody' just going on about your Fiancee. She doesn't feel comfortable having an abortion. I think we all need to respect this. Do you know that terminating a 5 months pregnancy can result to Lola's death? You are only interested in yourself and your Fiancee. I will advise you to be a man and face up to the situation. The first thing you should do is to sit your Fiancee down and tell her all that has happened. She will most likely not leave you. She will only be hurt. But if she leaves, all well and good! You said you were attracted by Lola's beauty. Should your Fiancee decide to back out from the relationship, I will advise you give serious consideration to settling down with her. Yes, she is 27 but your GF is 25. So, what's the difference? I am 43 this year, and have been married for 9 years. Men are born polygamous, but we all have a duty to control ourselves and put our bodies under subjection to the power of the Holy Spirit. Please be a man.
I wish you all the best as you take full charge of the situation. 1 Like |