I had to create a new account to table out my troubles.
I’m married with two kids and a step son. The summary of my problem is DOMESTIC VIOLENCE/ABUSE.
Even after giving him more chances to chance, he beat me up few days ago and still blamed me for his actions.
I wanted to leave but he informed our pastor and he begged me to manage my home. That there’s no better person outside. He’s not even addressing the violence issues.
I really want to leave but I’m a full house wife and I depend on him financially cause I’m an SSCE holder.
There’s no help whatsoever from my parents. I’m confused cause he’s processing a Canadian visa for us which would take twelve weeks to complete.
Should I just count my blessings and loss and move on now, or wait until we get to Canada?

Wait till you get to Canada o.

You need to be independent, you need to be able to provide for yourself and your children. Canada may not be half the solution to your problem but it provides you an opportunity to survive 'better' since you have no one to depend on over here.

No one should be in an abusive relationship. I hope the travelling plan works so you can take your exit ASAP 'if it continues'.

What if you're not alive to make it to Canada
Besides, not all processing visas click. Use your tongue to count your teeth.

Which canada visa takes 12 weeks. Every woman who does not get financially stable before marriage deserves all the abuse they get in marriage. U better go find work or trade do.

Keypazwad:
I had to create a new account to table out my troubles.
I’m married with two kids and a step son. The summary of my problem is DOMESTIC VIOLENCE/ABUSE.
Even after giving him more chances to chance, he beat me up few days ago and still blamed me for his actions.
I wanted to leave but he informed our pastor and he begged me to manage my home. That there’s no better person outside. He’s not even addressing the violence issues.
I really want to leave but I’m a full house wife and I depend on him financially cause I’m an SSCE holder.
There’s no help whatsoever from my parents. I’m confused cause he’s processing a Canadian visa for us which would take twelve weeks to complete.
Should I just count my blessings and loss and move on now, or wait until we get to Canada?

Two things are involved;

1. Endure till you get to Canada and watch as the table turns in your favor -

2. Separate from him for now until you see sign of changes and repentance or Divorce if you are sure he is beyond redemption!

But be prepared to accept the resultant effect of your action.

BTW you willingly chose a violent man as husband, this is part of the consequences.

One of these days Canada would become the afterlife


You better go and find something to do and leave that hellhole you call a marriage

Try and avoid him with style till the trip pull through. By the time you get to Canada, you will be the boss as he dare not lay his hands on you. This is not to say you shouldn't be submissive.

If you separate or divorce him now, you will be the one to lose.

Stay off his trouble path and wait till you get to Canada...if he continues, then leave.

You are between the devil & the deep blue sea.... You might not even be alive in that 12weeks if in the course of the assualt , excessive force is applied to the wrong place.

&

You are reinforcing to your children abuse is ok...

However, if you can survive till you get to CA, make him pay for the years of abuse by emasculating him & taking away his kids as well... Petty? Yes i know.... Action & reaction...

how terrible is the abuse and how extreme is his anger?
it depends on you to decide if you can wait till 12weeks or leave now as you know the severity of your situation.
if you leave now, you can decide to get him to pay child support through the welfare office while you also look for something doing either a biz or a job .
if you wait till you get to Canada it will be better off since he won't lay his hands on you again.

You can imagine the type of pastors some people are worshipping under, such pastor Will be beating his wife. Madam, I am not going to type RIP, somebody just finished insulting me because I refuse to type RIP for a woman that died due to domestic violence. I hope you know your bp reading? You are waiting and hoping to endure till three months time, it's possible. Just travel with the kids to your parents house. Tell him you want to learn a skill and you need your parents to be taking care of the kids while you are busy. Use your head.

i don't know what to advice buh one thing is that nobody for any reason whatsoever should remain in an abusive marriage or relationship.your pastor is not the one taking the beating that's why

[color=#990000][/color]

rain21:
how terrible is the abuse and how extreme is his anger?
it depends on you to decide if you can wait till 12weeks or leave now as you know the severity of your situation.
if you leave now, you can decide to get him to pay child support through the welfare office while you also look for something doing either a biz or a job .
if you wait till you get to Canada it will be better off since he won't lay his hands on you again.

He abuses my family and I almost every day.
He slaps, punch, kicks anytime he feels like

I don't know whether to type R.I.P in advance or just bitchslap ya until your reasoning returns....
All these years, you didn't make any effort to improve on yourself....now you're fully dependent on a man who treats you and your family like shiiii!
At this rate,you probably won't make it to Canada alive.....maybe in a body bag you would....
Oh please, I'm outta here

See the chics here, they are even telling her to chill until she gets to Canada...these same people that preach no tolerance on domestic abuse suddenly want to show they can have patience.

If I say majority of Nigerian women are just opportunists looking out for their own rise in the social ladder on the back of men, dem go call me misogynist.

They are not even considering the children who are witnessing the abuse and could be scarred from it..lmao

Canada or not, you should be working on improving yourself for employment purposes.
If you wait until May and the trip doesn’t work out, what will you do then? What if he leaves without you? You think that’s impossible?

Honestly you should have started before now. Planning strategically for your independence with an end goal in sight. Take this as a wake up call. Even if you get to Canada, you can still be abused. Don’t let folks give you a wrong impression of an el Dorado that doesn’t exist.

Before you become fully independent in Canada, you will be a candidate for abuse.

Keypazwad:
I had to create a new account to table out my troubles.
I’m married with two kids and a step son. The summary of my problem is DOMESTIC VIOLENCE/ABUSE.
Even after giving him more chances to chance, he beat me up few days ago and still blamed me for his actions.
I wanted to leave but he informed our pastor and he begged me to manage my home. That there’s no better person outside. He’s not even addressing the violence issues.
I really want to leave but I’m a full house wife and I depend on him financially cause I’m an SSCE holder.
There’s no help whatsoever from my parents. I’m confused cause he’s processing a Canadian visa for us which would take twelve weeks to complete.
Should I just count my blessings and loss and move on now, or wait until we get to Canada?

Na so

Nairaland

modath:

You are between the devil & the deep blue sea.... You might not even be alive in that 12weeks if in the course of the assualt , excessive force is applied to the wrong place.& You are reinforcing to your children abuse is ok...

However, if you can survive till you get to CA, make him pay for the years of abuse by emasculating him & taking away his kids as well ... Petty? Yes i know.... Action & reaction...

Your safety should be your primary concern now.

Keypazwad:
[color=#990000][/color]
He abuses my family and I almost every day.
He slaps, punch, kicks anytime he feels like

How come you have not furthered your education. Is he against it?

crackkhaus:
See the chics here, they are even telling her to chill until she gets to Canada...these same people that preach no tolerance on domestic abuse suddenly want to show they can have patience.

If I say majority of Nigerian women are just opportunists looking out for their own rise in the social ladder on the back of men, dem go call me misogynist.

They are not even considering the children who are witnessing the abuse and could be scarred from it..lmao

you need to see how am shaking my head while reading their comments

Keypazwad:
I had to create a new account to table out my troubles.
I’m married with two kids and a step son. The summary of my problem is DOMESTIC VIOLENCE/ABUSE.
Even after giving him more chances to chance, he beat me up few days ago and still blamed me for his actions.
I wanted to leave but he informed our pastor and he begged me to manage my home. That there’s no better person outside. He’s not even addressing the violence issues.
I really want to leave but I’m a full house wife and I depend on him financially cause I’m an SSCE holder.
There’s no help whatsoever from my parents. I’m confused cause he’s processing a Canadian visa for us which would take twelve weeks to complete.
Should I just count my blessings and loss and move on now, or wait until we get to Canada?

What do you really want?

Let's forget Pastors and Imams here.

This section is becoming too boring these days with all these fake fake stories.

Tomorrow, an anonymous will come out to paint the wife black and the men will have a field day and the circle continues.
No wonder many have left.

The rest are filled with political jobbers,con artists and small children that recently started using internet not forgeting online hookers.

Papanwamaikpe:
you need to see how am shaking my head while reading their comments

They just keep embarrassing themselves online and offline and wonder why men think so poorly of them.

It's too funny

sassysure:
This section is becoming too boring these days with all these fake fake stories.

Tomorrow, an anonymous will come out to paint the wife black and the men will have a field day and the circle continues.
No wonder many have left.

The rest are filled with political jobbers,con artists and small children that recently started using internet not forgeting online hookers.

Which category you fall under?

Keypazwad:
I had to create a new account to table out my troubles.
I’m married with two kids and a step son. The summary of my problem is DOMESTIC VIOLENCE/ABUSE.
Even after giving him more chances to chance, he beat me up few days ago and still blamed me for his actions.
I wanted to leave but he informed our pastor and he begged me to manage my home. That there’s no better person outside. He’s not even addressing the violence issues.
I really want to leave but I’m a full house wife and I depend on him financially cause I’m an SSCE holder.
There’s no help whatsoever from my parents. I’m confused cause he’s processing a Canadian visa for us which would take twelve weeks to complete.
Should I just count my blessings and loss and move on now, or wait until we get to Canada?

Canada will be your final resting place.. mumu. don't learn from people's mistakes..okay?

rain21:


How come you have not furthered your education. Is he against it?

Something happened and my admission was terminated in my third year

Financial freedom

bukatyne:


What do you really want?

Let's forget Pastors and Imams here.

bukatyne:


What do you really want?

Let's forget Pastors and Imams here.

Financial freedom

Keypazwad:
Financial freedom

You don't want out of the marriage, just financial freedom?

Do you think he is abusive because you lack resources?

bukatyne:


You don't want out of the marriage, just financial freedom?

Do you think he is abusive because you lack resources?

I want out.
Already planning my exit. I’m just worried for my kids.
I don’t have the finances to cater for them yet. Don’t know if their dad would still be up to his responsibilities when I separate from him

Madam that man is not taking you to Canada. Use your head, if its about the kids just assume their father is dead, get a job, move on with your life, help will come your way.

Canada has a domestic abuse law. So if you come and can prove abuse, you'll be granted PR. I doubt that they'll grant OR for domestic abuse from here.

I suggest leaving now though. If you guys are married and the proof is on social media, he can't get the visa without you. If he applies as a single guy, they'll dentbhim and ban him for years for lying.