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Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Papanwamaikpe: 3:01pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
FrLukas:I wish I can lay my hands on you now. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Thinkandwin: 3:02pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Iwantpeace:Foolish woman. Since you're sure your brother in law attitude is bad, why do you have to wait till after marriage before correcting it. Why are you afraid of his family talking bad of you. All you guys cherish is to be in charge of a man's house and send his families packing that's why you claimed he's flexing muscle with you. Go and get your house, he is in his brother's house and he has been living that way with him before you arrived. I still ask, why do you have to wait till after before you start complaining? If you don't have evil mind, and you're sure he's attitude is bad, why didn't you correct him earlier. If y0u had reported him then and you're right, your husband would have joined hand to chastise him, so why did you hide it till after marriage? Wicked people. He is in his brother's house, allow him to live as he wants. If you don't like it, go back to you parents house. |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by anonymous1759(m): 3:03pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
1StopRudeness: You dey mind the OP. I'll understand her plight on the ground of freedom, walking Naked around the house and make out anywhere she wants. I love my privacy alot but my Real Niggas and Family can eat anything they want in my house it's no issue as long as my house is kept tidy i hate dirt. |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by midnighter(f): 3:04pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
sassysure: To me, you are contradicting yourself. Remember that we are not talking about ourselves but the OP. She never said she didnt want him to come in. She said that if he's coming, he should excuse himself. Of course my door is always closed or locked wherever I am but I notice that not everybody does that. Shes not the only one who owns that room. To him he is going to pick something from his elder brothers room which he has been doing since before they married her. You wrote that women should stop doing "my food, my house" but you want her to be doing "my room". You wrote a whole post about compromise and then advised the woman to go behind her husband and begin to lock doors in their house, when its clear that the brother-in-law hasnt been cautioned. If you say she should lock her bedroom then you should also want her to lock her kitchen, isnt it Every time her husband doesnt do as she wants, she should rush and lock everywhere. Thats not how to deal with people. If you have an issue with somebody you let them know. Its only if she tells him and he refuses to stop it that she will know that the issue has expanded and will begin to lock the door, because at that point it will have become a matter of disrespect rather than carelessness. |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by DivineTurnAroun(f): 3:04pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Iwantpeace:ma to be honest with you this is not an issue just start to be minding my own business you will stop seeing all these things 1 Like |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by ADAMUdaCOWBOY: 3:05pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Ginaz:His brother's house is not a restaurant. Know the difference. OP is making a mountain out of a molehill and I will never shy away from telling her the truth. That guy she is tempted to fight because of a plate of food may be one of the people that will resolve a major dispute between her and her hubby someday. And about the manners you are talking about, it is all Western and strange to us, it isn't our way. We don't fight relatives because of food. 2 Likes |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by DivineTurnAroun(f): 3:08pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
cococandy:thank you for this 2 Likes |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Xanderlex: 3:11pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Homeboiy:Same here o. Everyone has access to my mama kitchen. Dish the 1 you can finish. My father's only rule be say no waste my food. Same will apply to my wife. Food is nothing abeg. You hear some women say nobody should enter my kitchen. Some will even tell you dont use that plate. Use another plate. It's my plate or my husband's own. Crazy 2 Likes |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by utenwuson: 3:14pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Uisce:instead of advising her to find a job and be busy, u are talking about manners... No brother in law respect a seat at home wife.... Get that... 1 Like |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by greatreality: 3:16pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Foodqueen:My dear you deserve award for this comment, this is what makes many married women look like witch in a family, they think that the only one they can show love is their husband, so any other person is an outsider, if na your husband that went to the kitchen to fetch food will you complain? 1 Like |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by slowice(m): 3:17pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Women..... My pot of soup My kitchen My husband's house My matrimonial bed Wetin be all this my this my that.... Show the young boy love, care for him as your own. He's not an alien he is your family now. Maybe the young man have noticed that you are giving him attitude that's why he is giving you his middle finger too. You never wanted him to be there in the first place and from what you posted, it's obvious you re just waiting to settle down before you show him your colour... Relax woman, non of this is important. 4 Likes |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nobody: 3:19pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
lozanni: Majority are not. This kitchen,bedroom stuffs are new to me, thanks to this forum. What are u hiding in that bedroom that people won't enter? When u are free with somebody, u express it. (I would have screamed if the bro is displaying some unguarded manners and speech) The lady in question isn't free with her brother in law. What annoyed me was that she was faking it so she will be accepted into their house. Now,she is now part of them, her true colour is surfacing. U don't like something, express your displeasure and proffer an alternative. |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nobody: 3:19pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Papanwamaikpe: You actually can. Lie down on your bed or mat, whichever one you possess, then put your palms around your neck. Then pretending that you have your palms around MY neck, squeeze really hard and don't stop until I stop breathing where I am. Give it a try. It works...sometimes. 2 Likes |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nobody: 3:21pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
utenwuson: So when are you going to advice a grown adult to go rent a space of his own instead of sharing one-bedroom apartment with his brother and wife? |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by sorepco(m): 3:21pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
But wait oh...wetin I go go find inside my broda room if he is with his wife? Talkless of if he is not around? americaninja1: |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Codes151(m): 3:21pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
one day he will turn against u. encourage ur husband as well... its either ur his brother's wife or their house maid. |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nehyomi: 3:23pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
My dear this situation is a tough one, as I have experienced this myself, but I tackled it from the moment it started. Just pray unto God for direction n talk to your in-law about. You never know dear. |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Joystark(f): 3:24pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Haba... It's just food nau. See the long story for only food. Thought we're all becoming woke this 21st century... how come it's still considered a crime for a man to serve himself? |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Eaganguolly(m): 3:24pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
The guy is actually wrong and is not supposed to be a man. I have been visiting my brothers house before I found my foot but never enter kitchen. I can eat bread and akara but enter kitchen na lie. He should start to learn how to be independent. How to survive without looking up to a married woman for feeding. All men should endeavour to be hardworking so as to earn respect for themselves. He will still one day marry and he will understand more. He should respect his brothers wife. |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Emeliegregory(m): 3:28pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
cococandy: So much wisdom! Chai!!!! 1 Like |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by utenwuson: 3:29pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
FrLukas:lol... She saw they were comfortably living in peace before she agree to marry him, he won't stay there forever, it's a phase in his life and all the wife needs to do is love him like her own brother, so the only solution to this situation is to go find a job and don't be a seat at home wify... Gerrit? |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Legendguru: 3:33pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Really |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nobody: 3:35pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
utenwuson: I gerrit. She shouldn't be a sit at home wife, but the brother in law can be a sit at home brother. Another thing I get is that this is probably a struggling couple living in a room and parlour. For a marriage that is just 3 months old? I think the brother should give them space and a little privacy abeg. If it's me, I go dey shame sef. instead of marching into the kitchen like say I keep something there, I'll look at other alternatives. 2 Likes |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by dominique(f): 3:46pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
All these my kitchen, my pot women sha. How do you do it, policing who goes into your kitchen and how much food they ate? I no fit o. When my SILs used to come spend time with us before they married, they were free to go into the kitchen to prepare or dish whatever they liked. Saved lazy me multiple trips to the kitchen This is one of the cases where I'd like from the other side. I have a feeling this young man may not be as awful as she's portraying him. Anybody living in your home should be made as comfortable as possible expect you can't afford it. Madam Iwantpeace, all the issues you listed here are non-issue and can be resolved amicably without leading to rifts or grudges. Just have a dialogue with him maturedly. Set the boundaries without sounding condescending or dictatorial. Some of these things you are complaining over, he may not even see the wrong in them until you point it out to him. Your marriage is still very young, a lot of changes can still be made to your home without causing division between you and your in-laws 1 Like 3 Shares |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by powerlays: 3:54pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Iwantpeace: This is a delicate issue. First reason is because you allowed your brother-in-law's behavior, which though might not be offensive to many commenters on the thread, is actually irresponsible and disrespectful, while still dating his brother. It's irresponsible and disrespectful because boundaries are part of life and living as if there are none means you'll be inconveniencing someone whether they're complaining or not. In this case you're complaining. Even if you didn't, there's something we all call "use your mind" in the street, which simply implies not taking undue advantage of friendship or relationship because the other person doesn't complain. Second reason is that now that you are married to his brother, with the attitude you talked about, it's clear he expects you to even care less since you didn't complain earlier. If you don't handle your complain well now, it will raise concerns from in-laws if they are the types that don't believe their son deserves some breathing space with his own family. Wisdom is profitable to direct This is supposed to be an issue for your husband to address quickly before too much resentment sets in. He must however not present it as coming from you: he should call his brother and with a lot of love, make him understand that there's a way he expects him to behave in the house now that he is married. He should mentor him. Handled with enough maturity, everyone should be happy and even closer in the end. But if hubby is the *scared of what family will think* type, then you have to have a warm heart-to-heart discussion with your brother inlaw. He's your brother too after all! Talk to him with love as a brother. PS: I'm kinda horrified by many responses to this OP, responses which makes one think if people still got anything in their heads. I mean, how could people encourage irresponsibility in the name of claiming who should have more right in a new nuclear family. Nonsense! |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by PrinceDangana(m): 3:57pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
madridguy:God bless u for this,,,for me as a woman u need to be free with what ever dat happen in ur husband house especially wen it comes to the issue of food,,but u are not the one providing for the food now,,jst cook as much as u guys can eat and be satisfy cos inlaws from husband side can be annoying sometime fa when it comes to the issue of food |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by powerlays: 3:57pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
FrLukas: Your response wan make me fall in love o! But first, I got to know ya S first! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Oshokalo: 4:01pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
I think the most thing that is a thorn on u is the fact that he deeps his hands in the pot of soup In order to create peace while not put the pot of soup or whatever in a keylocker lets see maybe he will broke the keys |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by powerlays: 4:02pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
PrinceDangana: I don't think u understand the OP's plight: it's not about saving food! It's about the brother in law having minimum decency to understand that as a wife now, the kitchen belongs to her! It's no longer a "boy zone" where you enter and dish food anyhow, leave plates anyhow, or do whatever you like. |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by sholay2011(m): 4:04pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
cococandy:God bless you. This was exactly the part that irked me as painful as the situation might sound for OP. This is exactly the way I see monitoring someone's access to food. May God provide for us all. |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Amalekki: 4:06pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
I wan marry I wan marry I wan dance skelewu on my wedding day. You think say na joke? My own advice is short: If you get that guy sent packing you will regret it in future. Be patient, take him as friend & brother. My younger cousin is now the billionaire of the family, he stayed with his elder brother, brilliant but unfocused at that point. This guy was his brother's wife's movie & TV series buddy. He got married to the only lady that the woman approved. He settles the occasional disagreements between his brother & wife. That lady enjoys more than the guy's brother because of the bond. I know some people are naturally useless but remember, he won't stay with you forever. 3 Likes |
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